Option to get married presenting as a woman?

[Jessica G.]

I wanted to share something my wife and I have talked about. We will get into deeper conversation when we are relaxed having a drink or a smoke.
One of these topics that my wife brought up was about getting married as Jessica.
It would not be an official wedding as we just got Married 2 years ago and I'm not going to change my name.
She said she likes the idea at some point but wanted to know if I ever had the want too.
I would love to, but at this point I don't feel the immediate need to do this but its nice to have the option.

She said we could do a small gathering of people that know (not many), she would like to get a new wedding dress then the one she used for our wedding. I would also need one too!
She has been such a supportive wife since I started to express my inner feminine self for a couple of years now and it sometime shocks me when she considers something like this on her own.

Has anyone else been able to experience getting married/remarried as there feminine self?

Jessica <3

[Alyssa87]

I really like that idea, I think its awesome that your wife is so supportive! I think its really cool!

[kimdl93]

Sadly, no but I think it sounds like a wonderful thing to share with your wife!

Here’s a great example: https://www.unordinarystyle.com/?p=1032

[Rhonda Darling]

You could probably do it as a recommitment ceremony — no legal effect, more a feel good (warm and fuzzy) moment for the benefit of the happily married couple, supported by those friends and family who are invited. Tell your wonderful wife an unconditional YES, but that the timing is everything.

I would love to do it with my wife, but being 73 and retired, and what with the economy going as it is, doing it now would be an unnecessary expense. When you do it, I know you’ll both love it and remember it for the rest of your lives.

Kind regards,
Rhonda

[Di]

We had two ceremonies both at a chapel at niagara Falls. Same chapel:)
We posted pictures here of our Sher& Di Wedding
The day before was our official one .
You should do it if your wife wants it.
We both wore white gowns.
My best friend ( a member here ) wore a tux and her hubby wore a gown.
Make it how you want it.

[Jessica G.]

Thank you Kim for sharing that link, looks like it was such a fun time by those photos. I would love something like that!

Rhonda that sounds like a good Idea, and like I mentioned its nothing I need at this moment but it would be something I and her want to do, a recommitment sounds like the best idea. Affordable, with people that care and I'd love to make that memory. :)

Wow Di, sounds like such a great experience! I think I will at some point, and I'm looking forward to it.

[docrobbysherry]

I attended a trans wedding at the Tuscany in Vegas many years ago. Both wore wedding gowns of course!

There were about 50 people there. Equally trans and straight as I recall? Lovely evening!:)

So, why NOT, Jessica?:battingeyelashes:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jessica :hugs:, That sounds Awesome, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[JulieC]

I agree with some others; do it as a recommitment/renewal thing. Ok after two years is maybe a bit soon, but 5? 10? I think if you do it just to do it, it's more like a costume party than anything else.

Personally, I would love to do this. That said, only two people in my life know I crossdress. So, it'd be a small wedding (well, renewal). :)

[Sometimes Steffi]

A CD friend of mine got married to a GG overlooking the Potomac River. I think that they were married by "an officient" friend, so it was legal. "He" wore white, but I don't think that she did.

I also went of a relative's Lesbian wedding. They were married by "an officient" relative, so it was legal. They both wore white.

[alwayshave]

Jessica, That is great. I'd love a wedding dress.

[Genifer Teal]

Any excuse is a good excuse for a party.

[Jillcder]

Now that would be a dream come true! I would absolutely start making plans what beautiful way to commit your Crossdressing lifestyle with your incredible wife. I have had a couple dress fittings at a bridle shop and always dreamed about renewing our vows with me wearing a wedding dress. Also buy your sweet wife something special for V-day she definitely deserves it.

[Natalie5004]

Great idea. Who is going to be your bridesmaid?

[audreyinalbany]

I've never been mush into the 'wearing a wedding dress' mindset, but it'd be pretty great to be a GUEST where I could wear some of the stuff you see gg's wearing at weddings. There are precious few opportunities these days where people get all dressed up, but a wedding sure would qualify.

[Raychel]

Jessica, that sounds absoltely amazing, I would totally jump at that opportunity.
That would be such an amazing experience.

Di, Would have loved to see that, I can only imagine how fun that was and how great you both looked.

[Rhonda Jean]

This came up between my then-accepting wife and me more than once. I don't think either one of us were really serious about it. I tried on her wedding dress on our wedding night. It was years before I realized I shouldn't have done that and wished I hadn't. I've bought two Goodwill wedding dresses. I'm not one to dress to just to admire myself in the mirror, but the wedding dresses were exceptions. Kind of a heady thing to wear a wedding dress.

When brought up between my wife and me it morphed from "That'd be fun" to "You just want an excuse to wear a wedding dress" to "You really want to be a bride, don't you?". All true. Point is, to me it was never about wanting to renew our vows. Never about me re-committing to her. At best it would have been about her showing that she loved "all of me". Not that I wasn't wholly committed to her. I certainly was, but that didn't require a ceremony. It would have been entirely about me, entirely for my benefit, and really about indulging my fantasy. Kind of cheapens the vow renewal. Took me a while to catch on to that, or at least to admit it.

Too much thining? Maybe. Everybody's situation is different. Sometimes this stuff goes deeper than the surface. Don't get me wrong, the whole bride experience still creeps into my fantasies even at my age. I get it, and if you get to do it I'll be very jealous!

[ReallyLauren]

That sounds like it would be wonderful Jessica! I would love to a renewal of my marriage vows as Lauren. To me, a renewal should reflect the changes that individual's lives have gone through since the original wedding and a commitment to the each other as they have evolved. On top of this I would love to be a bride and experience everything that comes with this. While the subject has been discussed, it hasn't become serious yet but I can hope.

[Cheryl T]

Good for you.

I haven't had the opportunity but I know some who have done this. It's something I would love to do. The gown, the veil, the primping and all the ceremony. It would at the very least be a great reason to get a wedding gown.

[Jessica G.]

Thanks everyone for replying. :)

A recommitment idea sounds like a great way to do something like this. I told my wife about that Idea and she agrees.
She then started to talk about how she wanted to get a better dress, not that her dress was bad but it was a Torrid dress that retailed for $200. But it was fine as we had a $3500 backyard wedding that worked out great.

As far as a wedding dress I've never tried one let alone though about wearing one. I would try to find one that is by size than go and get a fitting or even find a nice used one that looks my style. No need to spend a lot of money to make it happen.

JillCDer it sure would be a great way to make that happen and create that permanent memory together. She is great and I already planned on it, she has been wanting one of Dita Von Teese's lingerie sets ever since we saw her in Vegas in November, expensive but she is worth it!

Natalie, that I don't know, our friend circle is so small now and were talking I can count them on one hand. Plus my brother, mother and cousin are the only other ones to know. Don't have to many to pick from :thinking:

audreyinalbany I know what you mean, there are so many nice dresses I would like to wear but its not everyday that an appropriate event comes up to wear them. Wedding seems like the top when it comes to wearing really nice clothing.

Rhonda Jean, thank you for sharing your side. To my surprise my wife brought it up, it was something I thought would be over the top for her so it was never something that came to mind. She has told me she sees nothing wrong with it even if I ask her if she is really fine with me presenting as a woman. She said she loves me for me, not weather I am a man or a woman but for who I am. But now that it is an option I am wondering about about a bride experience. Time shall tell.

Lauren I really hope it is something that you get to do, as it sound like you would really love it. I agree with you as far as reflecting changes. I was barely dressing when we got married Oct of 2022 and a lot has changed and it would be a great way to solidify this part of me with the woman that I love and accepts me for who I am.

[JohnH]

If I ever get married again I might be dressed en femme but with my real masculine name of John. My wife passed away on 2023 April 4 and it's mighty lonely.to not have a wife anymore.

Jessica, if you truly want to wear a gown and present like a woman for your recommitment ceremony go right ahead. My suggestion however is for you to use your real masculine name.

John

[Kitty Sue]

Sounds like fun.

[JulieC]

As far as a wedding dress I've never tried one let alone though about wearing one. I would try to find one that is by size than go and get a fitting or even find a nice used one that looks my style. No need to spend a lot of money to make it happen...

...there are so many nice dresses I would like to wear but its not everyday that an appropriate event comes up to wear them. Wedding seems like the top when it comes to wearing really nice clothing.

Jessica, I can understand the idea to be frugal when it comes to this. But, the reality is this is likely a once in a lifetime event. For a husband-to-be, you just rent a tux and be done with it. For a bride, it's an entirely different experience. I would go the whole nine yards. Not that you spend 10s of thousands of dollars, but you don't want to regret not having the dress you really wanted, or the accoutrements, or the heels, or the hair, or the jewelry. Yeah sure, you could go to Goodwill a few times and maybe find a decent enough dress. But, where's the fun in that?

Do this right. Peruse online catalogues. Get an idea of the type or types of wedding dresses that really get to you. Go to a bridal salon. Get measured. Talk with the consultant about what you like, bring pictures to show them. Then you can try on those general styles in store and see if they really do work, and how you respond to those styles.

[patti.jean]

Jessica,
I hope you are able to have your wedding and wish the brides all the best.

Katherine and I had two weddings the first was a traditional wedding and at the second wedding we both wore wedding dresses. The second wedding was at the The Dunes Resort (https://dunesresort.com/) in Saugatuck during a TG Weekend event. It was several years ago and is a precious memory.

340120

This is a photo of the dress I wore.

[Jessica G.]

John, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. In regards to the name since it's nothing that's official I would like to hear my name that matches.

JulieC after reading what you wrote, you do make some very good points. I guess I just never thought about some of those aspects. I think it's because I have not put to much thought into this as it's just been am idea we would probably like to do but who knows when. I may change my mind and decide to go all out within reason. You opened my eyes to thinking about other aspects of the wedding experience.
Patti that sounds like it was a wonderful experience. You must of felt beautiful! That is such a nice dress. I'm happy you got to experience it. Thanks for sharing

[Stephanie47]

Jessica (#20), if you're looking for an inexpensive wedding dress you should try Goodwill around Halloween. Goodwill puts out donated prom dresses and wedding dresses around the time kids are graduating high school and June weddings, and, for some reason wedding dresses and evening gowns always seem to be put out at Halloween. There a lot of brides that do not have Barbie doll figures. Me? I'd settle for an evening with my wife and I attired in dresses and heels.

[Jessica G.]

I have been to the good will and sometimes see wedding dresses. If there happened to be one that was something I liked, and it fit I'd settle for that. I always thought it was pointless to spend so much money on a dress that only gets worn once. But I understand now that it's a special moment and like Julie mentioned I may decide to spend a little bit since this is a once in a lifetime experience.

[patti.jean]

Say Yes to the Dress

I also bought my wedding dress at a thrift store. I have a friend that is a Thrift Store Queen and she alerted me to a thrift store having a wedding dress sale. I was excited going to the store but after trying on many dresses that did not zip up for me I was ready to give up. Then I tried on "my wedding dress" and the sound of the zipper sliding closed was magic. I still remember that wonderful feeling today, at the moment the zipper closed and I was bound in the dress.

Patti

[danniUK]

I'll admit I've dreamt about getting married as the bride. Or as one of the brides!
Maybe it's something to do as a vow-renewall thing when we're older; I know I'll never have a "proper" wedding again.

[CDMargret]

First how wonderful your relationship with your wonderful wife. Our friends are getting married in March with a traditional wedding. Friends and family, tux and dresses. Then a few month later both are to wear wedding dresses as wells as the guests. We are so happy and excited for them. They are having more fun planning the second dresses only wedding than the official event. Go for it and have a fabulous time.

[Jessica G.]

Patti, what a wonderful experience! I hope to feel that way when I decide to find a dress. It's great you will always have that memory. :)

Danni, I hope that you get to have your special day as a bride!

Margret, your friends sound like they are going to have an amazing time. Such a great idea and I hope it's a blast and a memorable time.

[Kelli_cd]

It's neat that your wife is interested in this for you. Keep us in the loop, if you decide to do this.

[Genifer Teal]

I've had the opportunity to be a bride's maid twice, never a bride. Haven't really thought about wanting to wear wedding dress. I guess what they say is true always a bride's maid, never a bride. I have thought about wanting to wear a giant hoop fress something like from gone with the wind. It would have to be the right occasion. It is partly about just experiencing the dress but that's just a small part of it having the right occasions would make it A full experience.

[Glenda58]

I wish I could it's a dream that will never happen for me. You are so lucky to have a partner that wants to do it with you.

[Helena]

My wonderful partner suggested a ceremony. It wouldn't be official but my social group were more than happy to help, including one to play part of celebrant. They did once before for another member.

[Gi Gondin]

We had a traditional wedding last year and we have plans to do it again as to brides in the future.
Something my wife definitely wants to do. She always mentions how my engagement ring would look like.

I feel good that?s something other couples do!

[Jessica G.]

For me it's nothing I ever thought about until my wife brought it up.
I think I always felt that would be something that may be too over the top for her but I guess not lol
Like I think I mentioned we don't have a big friend circle so it would be small. Almost have to weigh if it is worth it since there wouldn't be many people.
But its nothing that needs to be done this moment and who knows what the future will bring.
I'm so happy to hear some of the wonderful stories and experiences from those that were fortunate to get married in both forms. It's got me thinking about the idea more lately, uh oh! :)

-Jessica <3

[Freddi]

Sounds like a dream come true. I would love to do it but I'm only out to my wife and not sure I'd have the nerve to stand in front of all our friends in any dress let alone a wedding dress.
Also sounds like your wife is as keen on the idea
And of course its worth it....you don't have to make it a big expensive event to have the time of your life. In fact you'll enjoy it more because you'll not be worrying about how much its all cost. If you're not in a rush take your time to find a secondhand dress that you and your wife like. Some nice steady planning and you both could have a ball.

[Jessica Secret]

If my boyfriend and I ever get married I definitely want to wear a dress for it, it's a dream of mine. Nothing would be more exciting for me than that other than of course the anticipation of slipping into lingerie for my new husband on the wedding night.

[Brenda Freeman]

I love the idea of a recommitment. Kind of a new beginning and only possible because of your supportive spouse. I always dreamed of wearing a wedding gown and finally found a reasonably priced one I have worn briefly at times for photos and the wonderful feelings it brings. My wife supports my dressing but prefers not to see me dressed. That said I am so lucky to have an understanding tolerant friend spouse for life. So I can dress up and experience my dreams as I wish. You have the opportunity to share with your spouse, That sounds so wonderful!

[Melony1968]

You have a great wife gurrrl. My gg friend Stacey asked me to stand in her wedding, I said yes. A few weeks later she called me and asked if I could meet her at David's Bridal. I thought it was strange to go their for a tuxedo fitting. When I arrived she greeted me at the entrance and she was so glad to see me. I asked her why we are meeting here for a tuxedo, she laughed and said no girl I want you to be a bridesmaid, I was shocked at that moment but then I was excited. A very nice saleswoman brought me to the changing room where the rest of the bridesmaids were so I could try on the bridesmaids dress that Stacey had picked for us. The dress was a corset type and a pretty teal color. I stepped into the dress and the seamstress started pinning my dress in different spots. I was loving the experience. When she was done fitting me all the girls were in aww how beautiful I looked. I wish I could have worn a wedding dress but I was lucky to have her as a friend and to be one of her bridesmaids. Stacey's wedding was beautiful and so was all the bridesmaids. I still wear that dress on occasions.

[Jessica G.]

That sounds like it was a wonderful experience, Melony!

[SaraLin]

It'll never happen in my life, but I feel that it would be the ultimate expression of love and acceptance from an SO, if she wanted to marry the feminine half of her partner too.

[Krea]

Next year will be our silver wedding anniversary and we have been discussing some form of vow-renewal ceremony. A small occasion, just a few people. As i am now "out" to everyone except my in-laws (and they wouldn't attend anyway for travel reasons) i have unrestricted choice of attire.
However, at the risk of committing an act of blasphemy on these pages, formal dresses are just not my look. A wedding dress even less so. It would look totally wrong on me.... :doh:

I am thinking of a jacket & skirt suit, with a plain women's shirt and some ankle boots. This would look presentable and have the advantage of being re-useable for weddings, funerals, bar-mitzvahs etc....

[Breezy]

Same here Jessica!

[Jessica G.]

Krea, I see your point, to some it's the attire, and to others it's the moment. I hope you create a wonderful moment. :)