Harsh reminder

[Sienna_cd]

This weekend I was picking up an order at a fast food restaurant. When I went in I gave the order name and the cashier said Sir err (m?am). I was wearing a pair of scrunch leggings and a crop top (obviously women?s cloths) as I was at the gym earlier. So it took me a second to realize what the cashier said. She gave me the food and as I?ve exited the door I hear the employees laughing.. Then it hit me as to why the cashier corrected to ma?m. Obviously I wasn?t tying to pass but, definitely a reminder of how people feel about cross dressers or men in en femme clothing.

[Sallee]

I think you're reading to much into it. They realized they gendered you wrong either thru your name or visually and then they corrected themselves. Worst case you had them confused I would just ignore the other employees laughing maybe some one told a joke. Just don't read much into it It just doesn't matter you handled it correctly.

[Crissy 107]

I can tell you that would be the last time I did business there. No doubt about it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sienna :hugs:, You just can't Fix Stupid, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[JulieC]

I agree with Crissy; last time I do business there AND I would send a letter to the manager (and if a chain, copy the district manager as well). In this day and age, getting mocked at a restaurant is way out of line.

[Susan_Michaela]

I had a similar thing happen at a Walmart about a year and a half ago. I was finishing up grocery shopping and thought about one last thing I forgot, some sweet baby rays barbecue sauce. I had about 5 lbs of chuck roast I cooked in the pressure cooker. 45 minutes and falling apart. I use that and K C Masterpiece sauce and mix them together no particular way just to taste. Anyway I turned down the aisle where it was and there were 3 black young men well boys actually since all three busted out laughing and staring a hole thru me. I just reached to grab what I needed two large bottles and put into my cart and started to the checkout. They followed me a third of the way then turned into another aisle. Nothing else happened since but at the time I was getting my nerve up to where I?ve been since I came out fully last January 1st so going on 14 months now. I didn?t have myself refined back then and present different nowadays. Most anymore just seem to think I?m a natural woman shopping and don?t pay much attention. Either way anymore but I?ve really not had any negative reactions or problems in the past year which I?m thankful for.

[Rachelakld]

I confuse myself, so not surprised other people are confused by me.
What to do? - get nasty and cause an issue, or let it go and be the best self that we can be and leave a good impression.

[alwayshave]

Sienna, I take it she was laughing at herself for misidentifying you, not laughing at you.

[kimdl93]

Well, I will give the cashier the benefit of the doubt. She corrected herself, right? As for the laughter when you left, it?s possible that they were laughing at something else, despite how we might self-consciously assume otherwise.

[Cheryl T]

I think it's because you were somewhat in limbo. That generally brings out the giggles and laughter.
About 10 years ago a CD group announced on their site they were going shopping at a local Dress Barn on a certain day. My wife and I decided to go and see who attended. I wasn't dressed that day and we just shopped the store. Well, when the group came in one of the attendees was an older "gal" wearing a pink tutu and pink tights with her hair in pigtails. If you think your outfit attracted attention, well let me tell you ...

Now I all for everyone dressing how they like and presenting how they prefer, but in the public's eye it's not always the best result for our population segment. People always take the outlier and make the assumption we are all like that. I've seen it many times. It's not fair, but that's the way people are. It's not simply on us either. It happens to anyone who isn't what "those people" consider "normal".

It's just how some people are.

[docrobbysherry]

In my long experience I've found that when I go out dressed and I hear folks laughing behind my back?

That, they may not always be laughing at me but they r NEVER laughing with me!:sad:

Which is why I choose NOT to go to vanilla venues dressed unless I'm forced to!:thumbsdn:

[Kitty Sue]

I used to dress frequently and go out. I don’t if I will again. To look remotely passable and therefore acceptable in the eyes of the public takes so much effort.

[mbmeen12]

Two separate scenarios, one they were laughing at you. It's sad but society will never change. Laughing by the employees because of mis genders, she might feel bad and laughs at yourself ie embarrassing. Chalk it up to oh well.

[Stephanie47]

I am assuming SWFL means Southwest Florida. Heck, with all the political crap in Florida and elsewhere it would not surprise me if a cross-dressers and transwomen were heckled and harassed. Some people, especially teenagers and young adults, have not developed the maturity to keep their mouths shut. Also, groups have group behavior, i.e., they become emboldened to act as you described. Sure, the laughter could be because the cashier was laughing at her mistake. And, maybe not.

[Doven]

high every one last weak .wile cheaking out just casal with wife blending female hodie nice chetchat with casher lady ,got a have a nise day ladies Doven

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I wore a mini skirt to a party once just for the hell of it. Everyone laughed, of course. Were they laughing at me or with me? That part was up to me.

I chose for us all to laugh together. It was a fun night.

As for the cashier, these days people who work with the masses are terrified of the repercussions of "mis-gendering" someone. Since you weren't trying to pass, you were in that confusing grey area that can cause people problems trying to not offend a customer and fear for their jobs lest they do.

[April Rose]

Rachel and O.A.G. make a good point. In a situation that is not clear cut, you get to determine how you want to feel about it. Do you want to feel paranoid and angry, or do you want to feel magnanimous and confident?

With no clear evidence, one way or the other, it really is up to you.