Im not a man in a dress....or am I?

[audreyinalbany]

I've never been a huge fan of the 'man in a dress' school of crossdressing. I pretty go all in...padding, boobs, make up, wig etc. However I've been wearing leggings for years as my morning loungewear & lately I've started running some errands wearing black leggings, a hoodie and sneakers. Now I don't know about where you all live, but around here that's pretty much standard leaving-the-house uniform for cis women. So, I'm thinking that since thats what women wear in this first quarter of the new century, maybe I am the equivalent of the contemporary 'man in a dress.' Anyone else edging closer to semi-coming out?

[docrobbysherry]

It sounds like you prefer to dress to blend, Audrey? Personally, I'd rather wear drabs than see a sloppy, unattractive MIAD in my mirror!:doh:

That's also how u can tell if u r a MIAD, by the way. If u don't clearly see a 100% female in the mirror? Neither will many other folks!

Because u r a MIAD!:heehee:

[kimdl93]

I kinda started there. I incorporated some semi-conspicuously female items in my daily wardrobe for a while. I was not comfortable with it, and felt much more at ease and confident when I left the house in full-female mode. That remains true for me to this day.

[JohnH]

I have been on estrogen for 12 years and have acquired a feminine appearance although I still have my masculine bass voice. My hair comes down 5 centimeters below my shoulders and my bra cup size is DD with no filler. Yet, I still regard myself as a man no matter what I wear, including dresses.

John

[AllieBellema]

I also go in as much as I can go with boobs and lipstick, but other than that... I'm still pretty much a man in a dress. I still have a deep voice that won't go away and I still have some stubble showing as I really haven't dabbed into more makeup, even though I should.

[Kitty Sue]

Even when I used to dress completely I ultimately still considered myself a man in a dress. For me CDing is fantasy and little more than that. I am playing dress up.

[audreyinalbany]

I know that essentially we are all....the crossdresser contingent here not the trans folks...men in dresses. But when I use the term I mean those who don't actually attempt to appear female, they just wear their female wardrobe while maintaining their full male presentation; beards or bald or whatever.

[Jessica G.]

I have not gone out in public yet and if I did, I'm sure most will see a man. There are things you just can't hide.
I do not work on my voice as I don't feel the need to, and my wife does not want me to.
When I get dressed, I do the best I can to try and look like a female.
Inside I know I am a man, but I do not consider myself a MAID. I even tend to hate the term CDing. I don't see it as that anymore. I see it as wearing clothing I love and presenting as the woman I wish I was. It is the closest I will ever get to that. When I dress and do full makeup, sure I'll see some male features still, and no one is going to pass 100% though some can get close. What I see I am happy with and that's all that should count.
There are times where I will wear leggings, tank top, bra and forms when I am just relaxing at home, but I rarely do as I see too much man in the mirror. So, most of the time it's all or nothing even though my wife does not care or see me different in any way. I am trying to work on that as I would love to give my face a break from wearing makeup 7 days a week for only 4 hours at a time.
There are too many labels these days, it needs to get to the point where people stop worrying what other people want to wear and do with their own life.

[BLUE ORCHID]

For me, It's All or Nothing,

The whole idea of Dressing is to look Pretty,

[DianeT]

I do both. Full nines is my private thing. MIAD is with my wife. I enjoy both, in different ways, for different reasons, the walking on the moon experience for the first, the love and acceptance for the second.

[Taylor Dame]

I agree with Blue Orchid - I am all or nothing. I try to look as feminine as possible, and blend whether I go out or stay at home.

[Andie]

I’m MIAD. Sure sometimes in fantasyland I wish I could be a woman, but that is just a fantasy.
When I look at my reflection in the mirror I just see myself, and I like what I see.

[mbmeen12]

Labels, labels and more labels, what ever works for you. As to coming out personally, I am not and happy in my skin ie a large framed person with conflicting gender issues.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Like Jessica G., I'm not fond of the term crossdressing. There are certain clothes I prefer, and I enjoy attempting to make myself pretty with makeup, jewelry, etc. But I'm just a man who likes these things, and the few times I've been out partially en femme (feminine top, painted nails, leggings or flared skinny jeans, my shoulder-length hair down, etc.) but wearing "men's" shoes and coat, I haven't tried to pass or blend. I'm too tall and broad shouldered for that, so basically I just wear what I feel comfortable wearing at any given day and time. I've occasionally gotten some looks, but since it's becoming more common (unfortunately so far mostly for younger people) to dress in gender-nonconforming clothing, I don't feel too self-conscious. As I get more experience going out dressed, I hope to some day try full (but light) makeup, and a skirt or dress in warmer weather.

[Gillian Gigs]

We all have a reality that we have to face, can we pass, or do we look like a guy. I now don't attempt to do anything other than to wear, and enjoy the particular items of women's clothes I have come enjoy the most over all the years that I have dressed. At home I wears skirts, lingerie and hosiery, in the community, I wear lingerie under my guy clothes. The point is to enjoy life, without harming anyone else. Skirts are very comfortable, I think that if most guys wore a skirt on occasion, they would increase in popularity.

[Raychel]

I have been told i have a deep intimidating military voice.
No sense in trying to make pretend that I am a woman, I am not.
I dress the way I like and I feel most comfortable. As you can see from my pics and avatars.
That is definitely miad

[Stephanie47]

Audrey, my visual of your description of a pair of legging, sneakers and a hoodie, presumably pulled up, is a guy trying to fly under the radar. I see a lot of cis women wearing that combination of clothing for comfort in the rain around where I live. I suppose in your mind you are a man in women's attire because those articles of clothing maybe were bought on the women's side of the store. Unless the hoodie has some sort of art work reflecting a womanly sentiment or point of view, hoodies are sort of genetic. Same with sneakers unless you swapped out black laces for pink. Personally, I do not wear women's pants. Pants have been co-opted by women from the men's section. Sometimes my granddaughter appears in one of my discarded flannel shirts and young men's jeans (no hips) that fit better than female jeans. Take a look at her and nobody is going to say she is a FtM crossdresser, "Girl in Pants!"

Yes, the vast majority (99%?) down at Wal-Mart or Fred Meyer are not wearing dresses because of comfort or functionality. I'd have to find an evangelical church on Sunday for a good dose of women in dresses. My personal mindset is a dress, hosiery and heels, all the feminine undergarments, and at a minimum when home, a wig. My masculine bulk and face ain't going to fool anybody.

If I saw you as described I'd think, "A man wearing leggings!"

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Audrey If I saw you I'd think "cool, he likes leggings too!" I would not think "he's a crossdresser" because leggings just aren't enough for that label.

[Bea_]

I was somewhere a while back and saw a muscular "gym rat" type of guy walk by with a kid in tow and he was wearing black leggings that showed of his physique. There was no thought in my mind that those were "women's" leggings. I figure that if I'd worked to get a physique like that, I'd want to wear clothes that would show it off so it's all cool. Personally, leggings just show how skinny my legs are, but i still like them.

I have never had any inclination to present as anything other than a man in clothes from the woman's department. It's not an attempt to be more feminine but rather a claim to more gender freedom than most men will ever take. That technically and practically makes me a crossdresser and I use that term because it's the easiest. I'm sort of a "man in a dress" because dresses are included in my range of choices each day. But, in warm weather I'm more likely to be in women's shorts and in cool weather leggings. But, "man in a dress" is a catchall phrase that is easier to convey.

I like being a dude. I don't mind that my leggings show that I'm a dude, although if I go out wearing them, I'd make sure to wear a shirt long enough to cause some mystery. I've only worn leggings out of the house to get the mail or take out the trash. I've also gone to multiple therapy sessions in leggings, always appropriately modest, to make sure my therapist will not be uncomfortable. She has mentioned multiple times that my style is more androgynous than feminine. But, I tend to accessorize in a way that pushes it past androgyny.

So, yeah, I am edging closer to allowing others to see me as a less masculine dude. No one would be able to accuse my style as being that of a woman.

[danniUK]

I'll always be a MAID, I'll just never be pretty enough yo be any more than that! Though for me that's not a problem - I dress because I like how it feels. Yes, I like to look in the mirror and look feminine - but I'm actually quite happy being "a guy who looks a bit feminine". Some clothes, some makeup, and hopefully one day some naturally girly hair, but it's all about how it makes me feel.

[alwayshave]

I'm 6'2, 260 pounds. Even when dressed to the nines, I am a man in a dress. If I dropped 90 pounds, maybe I'd be less of a MIAD.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Jamie,

That's what I'm aiming for (less of a MIAD), but I only have about 40 pounds to go! I've only lost about 5 so far, but the peignoir I'm wearing already feels less tight. That's great incentive for me to keep going.

Hugs,
Larissa

[Freddi]

I'm definitely a MIAD.....at 6ft2 and 120kg I doubt I could ever pass for female and have no desire to be female....I just like to wear what I'm comfortable in and that happens to be dresses & skirts etc. Yes I do make-up and dress fully including bra,panties & tights but I will never be a woman.

[NonbiNancy]

When I dress and do full makeup, sure I'll see some male features still, and no one is going to pass 100% though some can get close.

Hi Jessica, I'll politely disagree with you on this one. I've seen many here and in real life that would 100% pass. I'd like to point out that many cis women look very masculine, features and dress. I've also seen some photos you've posted and think you could easily walk down the street of any city without anyone batting an eye. And Audrey I walk out of the house in tights and a bulky sweater, with a knit cap, a little make-up and women's glasses and all I get is smiles and "good mornings."

[Jessica G.]

I've also seen some photos you've posted and think you could easily walk down the street of any city without anyone batting an eye."

Nancy, while I appreciate the complement, I have to disagree. I would get made in a second. Size 12 feet, large man hands, Adams apple, shoulders, etc. All while standing at 6'5. With flat shoes I am already tall and stand out. (I can't go most places without someone asking how tall I am and if I played basketball in school....) Going out as a woman is defiantly going to bring attention. I would hesitate to wear heels for the fact that I will make me taller and drew even more attention. Imagine a 3-4 in heel making me sit at 6'9, yea I'd get made in a second.
I have started to accept myself the way I am and stop trying to worry about looking 100% like a woman because at the end of the day, I cannot get rid of the above listed features. Pictures do wonders even though I don't use a filter at all.
Just like my some of my cars, they look good in pics, but some are a 10-footer in real life.

[NonbiNancy]

Nancy, while I appreciate the complement, I have to disagree. I would get made in a second. Size 12 feet, large man hands, Adams apple, shoulders, etc. All while standing at 6'5. Hi Jessica, Now I totally understand. Your face always looks great, very feminine, so I just assumed, incorrectly... (I really like your glasses, BTW). Thanks for your openness. With a hug, Nancy

[jacques]

hello Audrey,
interesting question
I am a man in a dress when I wear a dress.
But not so many women wear dresses these days.
Yet I can wear women's jeans, tee shirts, hoodies etc. quite openly without anyone noticing that I am a crossdresser - I "present" as a man in jeans, tee shirt, hoodie etc.
luv J

[Sasha_inside]

Like Jessica - my physique definitely makes me a man in a dress. Barrel chested, size 12/13 shoes, large hands, broad shoulders - I am what my genetics made me.
That said, I wear what I want, I feel good and sometimes even pretty when I do.

[ChristinaMichelle]

I totally understand what so many have echoed here... being 6'3 and 245 lbs with the deep voice and size 15 shoes it is a challenge to find those feminie lines.

Shopping is fun! Finding the tall and extra length outfits is always a challenge but with the right outfit it's exciting to see the look work!

Give yourself credit and celebrate the wins no matter how big or small they may be!

[Kitty S]

Wow it seems the big and tall section is pretty popular these days. I?m more like a linebacker in a dress. It took dressing daily to get past that feeling, looking in the mirror and seeing what didn?t look feminine. Once I was able to enjoy the fact I don?t look like my male self either, I started to see parts of Kitty in my reflection. That made me happy and I started to see the unique qualities that bring out my feminine traits. I?ll never look like the sexy models but then neither do most GG?s, everyone battles their self image. So I?m a big girl and they can be sexy too. Society has everyone thinking about those perfect lingerie models being the pinnacle of sexy, I?ve reprogrammed myself to finding the beauty in all women not just the airbrushed ones.