New friends

[Philipa Jane]

I always knew that my coming out would on it's own cause me to lose friends.
One always hopes for the best and prepares for the worst.
I did lose all my friends. Their problem not mine.
Consequently I have a number of acquaintances but none that I could go out for coffee or lunches with. They have all been professional people that I was paying. No not like that. lol
Psychologist, nail tech, beauty salon staff and my medical doctors.
Last year I met 2 really nice ladies at a make up demonstration run by my beauticians. Both told me that they would love to go for coffee and today that happened. Only about 6 months back now and at times I thought nothing would come of the offer.
Lunch in the sunshine and a great conversation which will happen again I am sure.
Only one week ago I met another young lady who has been texting me about her boyfriend of all things. She knows and does not care that I am not a GG. What really blew me away was she wanted to see me in hospital. I preferred not to as I was not at my best. What she did was to get me a care package of magazines, puzzle book, chocolates and a face mask , then had it delivered to my room.
I was quite moved by her generosity. Something she told me to get used to as that is what friends do.
Now all I have to do is filter through this dating site I have put myself on.

[MarciMaybe]

Thank you for sharing (and making me cry a little). You are very courageous and it's wonderful that you've found genuine new friends. ❤️

[rachelatshop]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you old friends left you, but that tells me that they were not true friends. I'm so happy that you are finding new friends and happily moving on. Best of luck and may the force be always with you

[Genifer Teal]

Great to hear your meet some nice people.

[kimdl93]

Congratulations on the new friends! That is so great!

[Billie R]

Thank you for such a nice ending of the story. The kindness of one person making a package for you while you were in the hospital. That action speaks a lot about your new friend. Kind of makes up for the ones you lost. Then I got to ask, were they truly friends. Sending my best wishes for you.

[JulieC]

The question of who is a friend and who is not I am not sure should be based on whether such a person accepts us as crossdressers. Throughout our lives, we have many people we interact with. Very few...sometimes if any...people will know all of our true selves. We present a facade of ourselves that suits the purposes of the relationship. I have many people of my acquaintance. A few dozen I would consider friends. A smaller number I would consider good friends. Only two people know every aspects of me, including CDing; my wife and another woman (whom my wife knows all about and approves).

It's unfortunate that people stop being our friends over their lack of acceptance of CDing. I do think if there are people among my friends that would be opposed to my CDing, that I wish I had not spent the energy to become their friends. But, I have no need to find out if they would be supportive or not, and I accept them as they are.

[sometimes_miss]

The people that I know who would likely be troubled with me being a crossdresser, have known me for >50 years. We grew up together, and I know of how the world saw us (crossdressers, TG, etc.) when we were learning who we were and who we weren't. I don't blame them for having difficulty accepting what are now considered normal variants in gender and sexuality TODAY.
They didn't choose how to be brought up. they didn't choose a capability for critical thinking skills. No, they didn't choose this any more then we chose what we are. Not everyone can deal with this; many are still homophobic, not because they don't like us, but because they aren't ready to figure out how to accept all the things that were left out during our adolescent sex/gender education (or more likely, the lack of it). They are good people. The ones I know aren't rabid nutcases who go out on saturday nights to find a gay person to beat up.
As such, I don't tell them things that they really don't need to know. I don't need to make them uncomfortable, just so I can feel more comfortable. We don't have to discuss everything about ourselves, all the time.
I hope the next generation has it better than we do, but I fret that there will always be the remaining sexual turn off that women feel when confronted with men who aren't stereotypically all masculine, all the time, because that will leave a lot of future CD'rs alone, as most of us are.
To those future CD'rs, all I can recommend is to make plenty of money, so that you will be able to hire the women you may need for affection. I managed to do that. It wasn't a perfect life, but at least it was more bearable. After all, we can give ourselves orgasms, but we can't give ourselves a hug when we need it most.

[bridget thronton]

Nice that you have 3 new friends

[Connie D50]

I'm so happy for you a friend is so important to a better self. Have fun and enjoy the friendship.

[ColleenA]

Philipa Jane, I am sorry that you lost all your old friends. Neither you nor any here should find that too surprising, unfortunately. But you are now living in a world where people you meet will have little to no idea about your old persona. Your old acquaintances could do a comparison with who they (thought they) knew. The new people you meet in your life will have almost no reference point other than who they get to know now. Those who know nothing of your past, certainly, but even those who are aware of your transition will have at best vague imaginings of what you might have been like. So things should get better over time.

I also wanted to share an anecdote you reminded me of when you said, "Only one week ago I met another young lady who has been texting me about her boyfriend of all things. She knows and does not care that I am not a GG." Sharing almost everything is something women tend to do. A friend of mine told me of an incident soon into her transition at 20. She was at work when another gal wanted to talk to her and another about something; whether it was her boyfriend, gossip about a co-worker, whatever - I don't know. What she did was she had my friend and the other gal not only follow her into the bathroom to talk, but into a stall so they could shut the door and have privacy. That blew my mind. Nothing like that could ever happen in a man's world (with, yes, one exception). I still laugh when I think that that could be a thing.

[StefanieR]

That is great!

[JoyceAnn]

I'm so glad you found new friends, and I hope you find more like them. There are still people in this world with kind hearts!

[Philipa Jane]

To all of you thank you for reading and commenting.
To Lexi and Coleen thank you for sharing your experiences and the kind words of wisdom.
It seems at the moment I have fallen onto a good spell of luck.
Helen the woman I went to lunch with had a spare ticket to a show last night and I was invited along.
I was picked up and driven (I did offer to drive them as I am not able to drink at the moment) but that was a no thank you. We had dinner before the show and I was in the company of 3 new ladies I met in the ute (truck to you ladies) and 2 more who showed up for dinner.
Now all of these ladies bar one did not know my age and were surprised to find out I was the oldest of them all.
It really is nice that nothing was mentioned about my voice or about my gender. Fully accepted.
We all went in to see the show (a female comedian) and a good time was had by all.
I think there was an invitation to go out for Sunday dinner but that is yet to be confirmed and I am most definitely going for dinner and to see a Fleetwood Mac cover band in two weeks time.
Dinner and dancing should be fun.

[ColleenA]

It sounds like things are already getting better. Thank you for sharing.

[Crissy 107]

It sounds like you have been accepted into the women’s group and a whole new world is opening up for you.
Thank you for sharing this with us and continued good luck with everything. We all deserve to be happy.