dressing 24/7

[danadoll]

Sometimes it bites living alone, but I've gotten use to it. don't miss the fighting an auguring. Now that she is gone I have decided to come all the way out baby ! yea baby ! I love being dana so much, that I dress every where I go. work too ! at first they said its ok,but you must be in uniform an cant use the ladies room while on duty which I agreed then, but later thinking about it, I cant walk into a mens room dressed as dana. that was cause problems to. so I said the hell with that an I use the ladies room.
I deliver Good Year tires with an 18 wheeler. Get a lot a LOOKS I have many customers in NY,Ct,& Ma most of them think its cool & support me, others just say something like "hey you have to do what makes you happy"
Anyways got through the first week, then my boss called me and wanted me to come down to the office, i knew something was up. Got down there an they were waiting for me to escort me to the plant managers office through the main entrance where there isn't anyone around. He said to me I don't want you walking through the plant looking like that ! You look awful. That put a big fat hole right in my heart. They set me down an basically said you must stop CDing on the job or resign .Good year feels its not professional or appropriate. So at the time I agreed to stop. Worked 2 days with out my hair an was totally embarrass couldn't do it any longer. The third day I started wearing my hair,make up & nails with there uniform there not to bad there shorts !:happy: Haven't heard from my boss yet ! :tongueout
I don't think they can fire me ? :confused:
I dress everywhere I go now. cant go out side to the mail box with out my hair. I will never go back to the old miserable me !

I want to be Dana the rest of my life ! took 50 yr.s to find myself :bonk:

can anyone relate to any of this ?

[TGMarla]

Yeah right. You're either really in need of professional help from a gender specialist who can recommend a good road through transition, really stupid, or you're lying.

Pardon me for saying so.

[danadoll]

Pardon me, but I guess I'm really stupid, because I'm not lying.

[TGMarla]

Well, then yes, you are really stupid if you thought for one moment that parading around your place of employment in women's clothing and a wig was going to fly. And gee, you're so shocked when you get called on the carpet in front of the company brass. What's the matter with you? You're so independently wealthy that your job means so little to you? Or is it that you can't control your little obsession enough to put it away while at work? Why don't you get a grip on yourself even just a little?

Yeah, I know. This is a support site. We're supposed to support one another. So here's my supporting statement to you: EXCERSIZE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE!!!!!

[GypsyKaren]

I'm going to weigh in here a bit, then sit back and let the dust settle. To say this thread is off to a bad start is putting it mildly, and if this continues I'll lock it.

Dana, I'm not accusing you of anything, but you gotta admit your story is way, way out there, so don't expect to be getting to many pats on the back. With that said and done, continue on, but behave!

Karen

[danadoll]

sorry

[Missy]

some companys do have a dress policy for men and woman and it is their rules put in place. to brake them may be them getting you fired form their company with no unemployeement. it can happen

Missy :)

[Ann lee]

I to think we are who we are! everybody has a point, but were not in your shoes and don' know how you feel or the company, its all up to you hun do what makes you happy!!! Its your life live it to the fullest, don't hold back, but what ever you decide there will be consequences jsut make sure your ready to go through wtih them all the way!! good or bad

[Phoebe Reece]

Does the name Peter Oiler ring a bell with anyone? He was fired from Winn Dixie for admitting to crossdressing off the job. He lost his discrimination suit. Corporate deep pockets usually don't mean big settlements. It just means the corporation can hire more expensive lawyers and grind it out for more years than you can. If you are in a position where you have to interact with persons outside your own company they can fire you for whatever behavior they feel reflects negatively on the company. If you were simply a warm body stuck inside a corporate facility a whole different set of rules would apply.

There's a simple corporate altruism that often applies: "You can be right or..... you can be employed."

[crusadergirl]

I say do what u want its ur life if they don't like it oh well. I don't think your stupid u just have the guts to do what u want but still theres a big chance of getting fired. For me i would never cd at work it just wouldn't be smart.
Stand up for what u believe in and live your life your way its the only way to live.

[KathrynW]

I dress everywhere I go now. cant go out side to the mail box with out my hair. I will never go back to the old miserable me !

So, I'm guessing you're independently wealthy and don't really need this job? It doesn't sound like you've used much common sense here. :straightface:

[danadoll]

I love who I am ! and always do what I believe in :cheer:

[KathrynW]

I love who I am ! and always do what I believe in
Well...that's real special and all that....
But, it sounds like you and your employer don't *believe* in the same things.
The more I think about it...I think maybe we've all been trolled here... :straightface:

[Georgette]

I know I am going to cause some trouble on this but if you belive this I have a bridge to sell you+?

[KathrynW]

I know I am going to cause some trouble on this but if you belive this I have a bridge to sell you+?
next to the ocean front property in Arizona?
I think you may be right on the money, Georgette... :straightface:

[Casey Morgan]

at first they said its ok,but you must be in uniform an cant use the ladies room while on duty which I agreed then, but later thinking about it, I cant walk into a mens room dressed as dana. that was cause problems to. so I said the hell with that an I use the ladies room.

I've never gone to work in anything other than male mode, so unfortunately I can't really relate.

I hate to say it, but it sounds to me like they made an effort and you ended up blowing them off. They told you that you couldn't use the ladies room. And you realized that using the mens room would cause problems. It seems to me the thing to do would have been to talk to your boss and explain the problem. Maybe something could have been done, maybe not. But you didn't give them the chance.

Then after being told to stop CDing at work, you realized that wasn't working for you. Again you had the opportunity to let them be part of the solution. Again you didn't give them the chance.

Maybe you can be fired for CDing at work, maybe not. But what you CAN be fired for is unilaterally changing the rules at work. Twice now you've shown them that you'll make an effort to follow the rules but if it doesn't work out you're quite happy doing what you want anyway. That doesn't reflect well on you at all.

Hopefully you can go to the powers-that-be, hat in hand (yes, full-on male mode), and do a heartfelt "mea maxima culpa". At this point they may not want to work with you on this. But someone was willing to once. You'e got nothing to lose.

[geegee2]

ok heres my 2 cense, my boss and iI have agreed that after hours I can do and dress any way I want. However I dress in girls clothes that dont shout or make it obviouse and the boss is ok with that so like everyone is saying, just use commonsense and you will be ok. love kisses and hugs GeeGee2

[Donna O]

Hello Everyone;

It is not a smart move to flaunt the CDing in front of your boss after he has informed you not to. That is considered insubordination and you will be fired for that reason eventually. You will keep giving the information to prove that you left the company no choice.

[Rikkicn]

I'm was really excited to read you about and was amazed at the courage you showed. It reminded me of the movie "Normal" when he went to work wearing erarings. He took abuse and yet contuniued on trying to live his/her life in the best manner possible.
I believe there comes a time for most all of us when we have to decided what's important in our lives. You clearly know what you want and went after it and your willing to take a big risk to get it. In my experiences big risk can bring even bigger rewards. Your story was inspiring to me.
I loved that the people you delivered to you were so supportive. That was wonderful to read. It showed me that it wasn't a "business" problem your employers had a problem with. It is was gender presentation issue for them. They going to need diversity training!
If they do fire you then I'd be happy to refer you to organizations that would support you if you desire to make a legal issue out of it and I'd be happy to donate the first $100.00 to your legal fund.
Many GLBT organizations are fighting for all our rights to be free from discrimination due to our gender presentation.
I'm surprised more people here aren't willing to do the same by supporting you.


Good and wonderful look to you. Your such a brave and wonderful person.
Rikki

[KathrynW]

I'm was really excited to read you about and was amazed at the courage you showed.
First off...don't jump to conclusions here, because I believe we've all been trolled...
I could be wrong but I don't think so. :straightface:
However, if we haven't been trolled, I seriously question your use of the word "courage" here.

In my experiences big risk can bring even bigger rewards.
It can also bring unemployment. Yes, by all means...live your life how you wanna live it...but be prepared to face the consequences of your actions.

They going to need diversity training!
They do? Who owns the company? Who makes the rules?

[Yes I am]

Rules are for suckers, or at least that's what granma always told me.

[Tina Dixon]

Look do what your company wants and in the mean time look for another job where they dont care how you dress is that so hard to do?

[Rikkicn]

First off...don't jump to conclusions here, because I believe we've all been trolled...
I could be wrong but I don't think so. :straightface:
However, if we haven't been trolled, I seriously question your use of the word "courage" here.

It can also bring unemployment. Yes, by all means...live your life how you wanna live it...but be prepared to face the consequences of your actions.

They do? Who owns the company? Who makes the rules?
I haven't seen your posts for awhile. Either I wasn't paying attention or you you've been away. Either way I missed your comments. They have a certain point of view that's always interesting. I'm pleased to be reading them again.
Rikki

[KathrynW]

I haven't seen your posts for awhile. Either I wasn't paying attention or you you've been away. Either way I missed your comments. They have a certain point of view that's always interesting. I'm pleased to be reading them again.
Rikki
Rikki-
I've been around...on hiatus or something...:straightface:
I'm not sure why you'd be pleased to be reading my posts. I think we're pretty much at opposite ends of the spectrum, but that's ok. ;)
That's what makes life interesting...huh?

Considering the information given in this thread...IF it's true...
(big IF)... You're basically patting this individual on the back for deliberately breaking the rules at their place of employment. I simply don't see the wisdom in that. I can't see where forcefully shoving cd-ing down someone's throat (especially an employer) is going to improve anyone's situation in life.

[Yes I am]

Having heterosexism shoved down one's throat isn't very pleasant either.

[purple_spider GG]

HI Dana
Having read through your post, I think you need to sit down and talk to your boss about the situation. If you are transgenderist then he should be made aware of that and you need to ask him what the company policy is on transgender issues.

My partner lives 24/7 and she had a long chat with her boss before going into work as female. Luckily she works at a university and her managers are very open minded and informed. She is not transitioning so she had to explain it a bit more to them so that they understood what she was doing and why. It made it a whole lot easier when she did start going into work en-femme mode and changed her name, legally, to Louise. And the first time she made an appearence en-femme mode was at a Christmas party/meal, an informal event that meant people could meet her outside of the office first.

Dana if you don't sit down and talk to your boss about this then he is not going to cut you any slack or even begin to understand what this is about. I am all for people being who they are and standing up for themselves but you have to be careful of your job prospects and not give them a reason to fire you. If you sit down and explain things to him and perhaps get something in writing to protect you as well, it may help your cause.

Hugs
debs
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[KathrynW]

Having heterosexism shoved down one's throat isn't very pleasant either.
And your point is...?
Where has that happened in this discussion?
This thread concerns cd-ing issues at work. I haven't seen anyone debating sexual orientation.

[stephanie100]

ok i dont disbeleave you but a bit of a dumb move to partly dress when asked not to. Having said that good on ya woooooweeeee whish i could id love to be stephenie 24/7 keep us informed.

[Yes I am]

And your point is...?
Where has that happened in this discussion?
This thread concerns cd-ing issues at work. I haven't seen anyone debating sexual orientation.


Crossdressing at work is an issue because of its sexual connotations. It is forbidden mainly because it is not a heteronormative behaviour.

[Rikkicn]

Rikki-
I've been around...on hiatus or something...:straightface:
I'm not sure why you'd be pleased to be reading my posts. I think we're pretty much at opposite ends of the spectrum, but that's ok. ;)
That's what makes life interesting...huh?

Considering the information given in this thread...IF it's true...
(big IF)... You're basically patting this individual on the back for deliberately breaking the rules at their place of employment. I simply don't see the wisdom in that. I can't see where forcefully shoving cd-ing down someone's throat (especially an employer) is going to improve anyone's situation in life.

I think it takes courage to be yourself in an enviornment that doesn't respect that. I also think that Dana seemed ready to take that risk. If we all go along with the status quo and never question or break the rules then how does change happen?
The rules were broken at the Compton Cafeteria riots in San Francisco in 1966 and again during the Stonewall riots in 1969 in NY. That was the begining of the gay liberation movement. Just for info, one of these was a cafeteria and the other a gay bar where the patrons were being harrassed, arrested and beaten by the police. Oh, and the ones that first fought back, and said "NO MORE" were the drag queens and cross dressers!
And yes, if Dana wants to break the rules then yes, she should be ready for the consequences.
She also cares more about her self and her personal growth than she does her employer and that seems more useful to me.
Forcing ourselves down peoples throats is what were doing with our legislators in trying to make laws that protect us. How can that be wrong?
I think Dana life may have improved as a result. Maybe not financially but that's not there is to life.
Rikki

[KathrynW]

Forcing ourselves down peoples throats is what were doing with our legislators in trying to make laws that protect us. How can that be wrong?
You're basically talking about TG activism, and that's another subject.
I'm going to have to disagree with you concerning Dana and what this thread is about.
Being true to yourself is fine, but for whoever makes the decision to cd during work hours...there may be consequences. I don't think deliberately going against what an employer has already warned you about is a wise move, IF you need an income.

[Rikkicn]

I guess I feel what Dana did is being TG activist. I think that ever time I go out I'm an activist too. There are many ways to promote the cause even if it is selfserving too.
I don't know if Dana is concerned about work or income. If so I hope she has plans in place to protect her income if she gets fired.

[joanlynn28]

Gotta say that you are not the first 18wheeler dragster I have heard of. I met Daisy Saturday night at a bar in SD she drives a semi coast to coast hauling cars. I asked does she dress full time and the anwser was yes and she takes hermal supplements too. She had me worried when I first was parking around the corner from the bar. There was a tractor trailer parking on the street and I was worried that some lost trucker was going to see me all dressed out in drag. Funny that I find out that the trucker is one of us. I had to ask her if she gets questioned about it at the truck stops or truck scales. Nope. Anyway if you see a hot pink tractortrailer give Daisy a big thumbs up when you pass her on the interstate.

[geegee2]

not evryone accepts us as we are or who we are, but you still have to use commonsense in every thing you do. Here in nj I go out evrywhere dressed as GeeGee and no one cares, but when someone reads me and makes a remark I just move on down the line and avoid them. Its all commonsense, if you fluunt it at work and your company dont like it you are gonna get fired, so my point is,give some respect where it is due and you may wind up like with me,I dress in girls clothes and my boss accepts it cause I dress so it doesent shout it out loud. And that is after we talked about it and he said after hours I do what I want. So give that little bit of rerspect and youll see the change in where you work. But on the long side, you go girl be yourself with ommensense. big fat kisses to you and long hugs too. love hugs and kisses GeeGee2

[danadoll]

thx lov :hugs:

[Casey Morgan]

I think it takes courage to be yourself in an enviornment that doesn't respect that. I also think that Dana seemed ready to take that risk. If we all go along with the status quo and never question or break the rules then how does change happen?

I understand completely what you're saying. I agree, good for Dana for standing up for herself initially. I have no doubt that's what led "them" to say it was OK for her to dress initially.

However, when Dana encountered an obstacle (not really being able to use either restroom) she had a unique opportunity to go back to "them" (not quite sure who that is exactly) and say "hey look, this is a problem, what can we do about it?" Perhaps they would have told her to just deal with it. In which case I would would agree with you: if she felt the consequences were worth it then she should have gone ahead and used the ladies room.

But she didn't give them that chance. She completely cut them out of the opportunity to be part of the solution. Again, maybe nothing would have come of trying. But it was worth making the effort.

I can't help feeling that missed opportunity caused the employers to re-evaluate their CD stance. I'm wondering if her boss would have gone to bat for her if she had let "them" know she was having a problem. But that's conjecture based on conjecture, so upon further reflection I'll let that be.

Dana: my apologies. You do deserve to be congratulated for standing up for your rights initially. As I said a few paragraphs ago, I'm certain that's what made "them" take their initial stance on CDing. They very well may not have taken any stance at all if it weren't for you. I'm sorry I missed that the first time.

[stephanie100]

of course she could use the disabled facilities.
steph

[KathrynW]

thx lov :hugs:
danadoll - I'm guessing that's you in your avatar pic?

[elizabeth nicole]

I have to agree with Kathryn, what you have done Dana could open a company up to lawsuits and other litigation.If you were working for me right now you would be on the hwy.The owner/owners of a co have responsibility to all of the employees not just you. I do not dress for work no matter what.would you want to work someplace where people were allowed to use drugs or drink while working. Of course not so why should they have to see you no matter how well you can pass or not dressed in a way they may feel is wrong, or offensive to them.I know what you are thinking our co employees over 100 people and they are told up front to dress properly no matter where in the co they may work. there is no fraternization no drugs and if they have gender or sexual preferences then they stay their own business.I am susre we have hired gays and lesbians,i dont care and dont want to know,they have a job to do to earn what we pay them .if it doesnt meet with their satisfaction the way they are treated then dont let the door hit them on the way out and i say the same to you...i also suspect a troll. rant over.0.02 .

[Yes I am]

It's simply atrocious that one would equate transgenderism with drinking/drug use on the job.

[elizabeth nicole]

I did not say they were the same .I listed those as things that one should not have to put up with at work, and the employer has the right to say what goes in the co.I also need to say that the law says you dont have to tolerate drugs or drinking in the work place.I dont care how someone is i just dont want it flaunted around my co. upsetting other employees and possibly getting me lawsuit, remember i am the same as the rest here but i am not going to force it on my employees. nor will i allow someone else to do it.

[Yes I am]

Yet you have no problem with your bosses shoving their standards down your throat, or with those "flaunting" their heteronormative lifestyles around without any shame. Why is that?

[elizabeth nicole]

because I am one of three partners.we set the standards for the company and follow all state and federal laws. we are not discriminating against anyone . If you have a problem with the laws then change them till they are changed then we all have to live with them. Sorry!

[Ellie]

It sounds like you may be in need of another job soon but otherwise congrats on going 24/7.

I've chatted with more then one 18 wheeler driver that was also CD/TS/TV but they were all independent operators.

As a driver that delivers to customers you are a representative of Goodyear Corp. and so they do have the right to somewhat control your appearance on the job. I think that it would be better for you to talk with your boss first but so long as you meet the uniform and dress code requirements for women at your workplace then he would have little reason (or need) to fire you. As for using the woman's bathroom, I'd check with the other women in the office so they are not caught off guard and if one has an issue with you using it then... well... pick your battles. Gender matched bathroom access v. JOB.

Maybe you can transfer to a different department or location where you can start the job as the woman you now are.

0.02

I also come in contact with the customers of my company (sales dept) so I keep my dressing to non-work hours (except for non-visible panties or pantyhose).

I'm all for CD activisim but doing it at the expense of one's income doesn't help anyone.

[danadoll]

I have to say this !
First of all I have always been well liked and respected by my employer and all of the costumers that I deliver to. I've been with them sense they started, 6 1/2 years. there are no other issues or problems,the operation runs smooth and everyone gets along real good, even now that I've came all out with Dana 24/7 . I always conduct my self in a professional friendly manner everyone seems to like the new me !

I really don't think they would fire me ! It's been 2 weeks Sense they told me to stop, and I'm still waring my wig,make up and nails everyday, and haven't heard anything about it, even when we talk on the phone about other issues. They all ready told me that they don't want to lose me, I'm one of there best drivers. I know I'm pushing the envelope just a tad, but I really feel this was all meant to be.

[KathrynW]

Let's try this again...
danadoll - is that YOU in your avatar?

[danadoll]

Yes why ?

[KathrynW]

Yes why ?
No, that certainly wasn't you in that pic you JUST CHANGED.
It's a totally different person than your NEW avatar.
How gullible do you think people are?
Dana, there have been lots of others before you who are much better at playing these troll games. Give it up. It's not working. :straightface:

[Ellie]

Okay, I don't get this idea of Troll games...

What would be the point of someone coming in here and posting a message such as hers and it all be a bunch of B.S.

What fun is there in doing that?

I know that anyone can come here, set up an account, and post just about anything (at least for a while) when in reality they are against us and our activities. If her post were "I hate myself cuz I crossdress" or "I and all like me should see a priest so we don't burn in hell" I could understand doubting her honesty but I just don't see what it was about her post that would make others suspect her.

Perhaps I'm just dense... maybe I should get a blond wig. :cheeky:

[GypsyKaren]

There's an old saying, "give a girl a shovel, watch her throw it down and rent a backhoe."
This thread is being closed.