Helen_Highwater
05-23-2024, 05:24 AM
So once again I?m doing what I do most years. Seeking your views on what I can do to help others wishing to go out perhaps for the first time or meet up with others from our community
For those perhaps relatively new to the forum, who don?t know, it?s been my practice to offer the chance to anyone who cares to join me the opportunity to meet up in perhaps one of, if not the most, LGBTQ friendly places in the UK, Manchester?s Gay Village. It?s certainly not confined to newbies, first timers. If you?re a regular outandabouter who wants to meet others from the forum then please come along. A gathering of like minds would be so wonderful.
It works like this. Usually Wednesday of the third week in November (I?ll explain why later) I offer to act as a mentor, a chaperone or just someone to go out and about with, to anyone who wants the chance.
In the past those who have never been out before have meet me in a friendly pub for a chat, a bite to eat and a few drinks to pass the evening away. Others I?ve met lunchtime and we?ve been off to the shops for the afternoon before going to the pub for the evening. For the last few years I?ve been joined by Debs for the day which adds another facet, another input into the proceedings and perhaps most importantly, adds a level of security.
My first question is; what if this was to be your first outing, what would be the things that would give you the confidence to come along? What is going to be, for you, that biggest hurdle? What are those little demons whispering in your ear saying to stop you talking that initial step into the wider world, filling you with dread?
Look I know family, work, distance, costs can all be barriers to attending something like this but should all the stars aligned, best case scenario, let?s assume this is something you?d be interested in. What can Debs and I do to make that step all the more easier?
Trust me, no-one bats an eyelid in the pubs. You?re in a friendly crowd. No baying mobs here. Worried about your presentation? I?ve seen all shapes and sizes and styles of dress over the years in others who frequent the area.
Second question; if instead of attending the Manchester?s gay Village I offered the chance to attend a support group meeting elsewhere and this is where the 3rd week of the month comes in. There?s a group meets on the 3rd Thursday of every month in Prestatyn, North Wales. They meet in a private room in a social club run by a Trans steward. No muggles, just others from our community. So, would that be of greater or lesser appeal as a first night out?
Wigs can be a big thing when it comes to presentation and there?s a salon in Manchester that I?ve used on two occasions and always been treated with the greatest of respect and friendliness. Plus they do wigs starting from ?50 if you?re on a budget. Debs and I went there last year, Debs needed to replace her wig and came away with the one you see in her avatar (looks great and took years off her!). So, if that?s something you?d like to do then we can add it to the day?s agenda.
Getting a foundation check, help with makeup in general? Easy-peasy. Makeup counter staff are our friends. Allow Debs and I to be your guide.
I also decided last year to expand my offer to cover the entire week so that, as I?m on Helen?s away time in the North Wales area, if anyone wants to meet up for a coffee and a chat, perhaps a bit of shopping then I?ll do what I can to facilitate that. Say a walk around Chester or retail therapy at Cheshire Oaks outlet park. A walk along the prom in Llandudno?
Now I?m going to repeat myself and offer this explanation from last year?s offering.
I do this because I want others to experience the feeling of liberation that sitting in a pub, enfemme, just chatting away brings. Four years ago I met up with Debs and Lexi. Lexi had never been out before and I met her in the lounge of her hotel at lunch time. Her first time enfemme in public. We had a quick drink, both because I?d driven for two hours to get there and to settle her nerves, and then made the short walk to meet up with Debs at her hotel. A car ride and an hour later Lexi was shopping with the best of them in the Trafford centre. Drifting in and out of shops, interacting with SA?s, paying for jewellery and makeup. That could be you or if you feel that?s a step too far for a first time then the pub it is. Later that evening, sat in the pub, Lexi commented that the three of us sitting there just chatting away felt the most natural thing in the world to be doing, such was the change that the day had brought.
So please, let me have your feelings. I know there?s a few new members from the UK joined this year so I?d be interested in hearing from you as to what your thoughts are on what might be your first steps out and what would, give you that Goldilocks moment were everything was just so and would entice you out to join us in the big wide world. Also, what is it that?s the big road block stops you even considering going out anywhere let alone an opportunity like this.
Share your roadblocks, your fears, what gives you anxiety? Look, I was once one of those itching to go out but full of fear. It took me a long time to progress being before I found this site and the support of so many.
It is hard to express the sense of freedom being out brings. I?d love to help others find that so please, give me your wish list, what ingredients need to be added to the mix to make it right for you. Help me help you.
For those perhaps relatively new to the forum, who don?t know, it?s been my practice to offer the chance to anyone who cares to join me the opportunity to meet up in perhaps one of, if not the most, LGBTQ friendly places in the UK, Manchester?s Gay Village. It?s certainly not confined to newbies, first timers. If you?re a regular outandabouter who wants to meet others from the forum then please come along. A gathering of like minds would be so wonderful.
It works like this. Usually Wednesday of the third week in November (I?ll explain why later) I offer to act as a mentor, a chaperone or just someone to go out and about with, to anyone who wants the chance.
In the past those who have never been out before have meet me in a friendly pub for a chat, a bite to eat and a few drinks to pass the evening away. Others I?ve met lunchtime and we?ve been off to the shops for the afternoon before going to the pub for the evening. For the last few years I?ve been joined by Debs for the day which adds another facet, another input into the proceedings and perhaps most importantly, adds a level of security.
My first question is; what if this was to be your first outing, what would be the things that would give you the confidence to come along? What is going to be, for you, that biggest hurdle? What are those little demons whispering in your ear saying to stop you talking that initial step into the wider world, filling you with dread?
Look I know family, work, distance, costs can all be barriers to attending something like this but should all the stars aligned, best case scenario, let?s assume this is something you?d be interested in. What can Debs and I do to make that step all the more easier?
Trust me, no-one bats an eyelid in the pubs. You?re in a friendly crowd. No baying mobs here. Worried about your presentation? I?ve seen all shapes and sizes and styles of dress over the years in others who frequent the area.
Second question; if instead of attending the Manchester?s gay Village I offered the chance to attend a support group meeting elsewhere and this is where the 3rd week of the month comes in. There?s a group meets on the 3rd Thursday of every month in Prestatyn, North Wales. They meet in a private room in a social club run by a Trans steward. No muggles, just others from our community. So, would that be of greater or lesser appeal as a first night out?
Wigs can be a big thing when it comes to presentation and there?s a salon in Manchester that I?ve used on two occasions and always been treated with the greatest of respect and friendliness. Plus they do wigs starting from ?50 if you?re on a budget. Debs and I went there last year, Debs needed to replace her wig and came away with the one you see in her avatar (looks great and took years off her!). So, if that?s something you?d like to do then we can add it to the day?s agenda.
Getting a foundation check, help with makeup in general? Easy-peasy. Makeup counter staff are our friends. Allow Debs and I to be your guide.
I also decided last year to expand my offer to cover the entire week so that, as I?m on Helen?s away time in the North Wales area, if anyone wants to meet up for a coffee and a chat, perhaps a bit of shopping then I?ll do what I can to facilitate that. Say a walk around Chester or retail therapy at Cheshire Oaks outlet park. A walk along the prom in Llandudno?
Now I?m going to repeat myself and offer this explanation from last year?s offering.
I do this because I want others to experience the feeling of liberation that sitting in a pub, enfemme, just chatting away brings. Four years ago I met up with Debs and Lexi. Lexi had never been out before and I met her in the lounge of her hotel at lunch time. Her first time enfemme in public. We had a quick drink, both because I?d driven for two hours to get there and to settle her nerves, and then made the short walk to meet up with Debs at her hotel. A car ride and an hour later Lexi was shopping with the best of them in the Trafford centre. Drifting in and out of shops, interacting with SA?s, paying for jewellery and makeup. That could be you or if you feel that?s a step too far for a first time then the pub it is. Later that evening, sat in the pub, Lexi commented that the three of us sitting there just chatting away felt the most natural thing in the world to be doing, such was the change that the day had brought.
So please, let me have your feelings. I know there?s a few new members from the UK joined this year so I?d be interested in hearing from you as to what your thoughts are on what might be your first steps out and what would, give you that Goldilocks moment were everything was just so and would entice you out to join us in the big wide world. Also, what is it that?s the big road block stops you even considering going out anywhere let alone an opportunity like this.
Share your roadblocks, your fears, what gives you anxiety? Look, I was once one of those itching to go out but full of fear. It took me a long time to progress being before I found this site and the support of so many.
It is hard to express the sense of freedom being out brings. I?d love to help others find that so please, give me your wish list, what ingredients need to be added to the mix to make it right for you. Help me help you.