I kind of wonder if ...

[Samantha1]

The thoughts in my mind have been growing considerably more towards dressing -- trying on different clothes, experimenting with foundation, wearing a wig. Considerably more towards femininity -- practicing (or encouraging) feminine movements, speaking, manners. And towards HRT possibly.

I want all the desirable side effects such as soft skin, female body fat distribution, and less body hair, I don't want (or am not ready for) breast development -- which I understand takes years to develop and also don't want decrease in sex drive, etc. I find that my body is already soft but that could be because I'm out of shape, though I'm pretty healthy, I'm not ripped my muscle definition is quite low and my stamina is somewhat low but I am also 43. And I've never been particularly overly hairy except for my face. But still too hairy for my preferences. I don't like it.

I have never liked or understood sports, but why is that? A lot of males aren't into sports and they don't all seem to have the same desires, but who knows, maybe they do. I work in a fairly masculine environment (automotive world) but not in an overly macho way. So, I'm not ready to express my desires with them, at least not yet. Maybe the best idea would be to find work where I would be more comfortable, but I love the problem solving aspect of my work.

Are you pondering the same thoughts?

[Claire M]

I think we all have most of these thoughts at different times. I know i definitely did. Take your time, enjoy dressing. If you decide to go beyond just occasional dressing, to HRT or varying degrees of social transition realize that once you take a major step, you can't go back so be sure of your choices and the consequences.

[bridget thronton]

Do the things that make you feel good and enjoy life.

[Helen_Highwater]

Samantha,

Long before considering HRT younger to live enfemme 24/7 or at the very least spend a lot of your waking hours dressed and out and about in the world.

You have to be totally comfortable in doing that because as Claire rightly says it's a line that can't be uncrossed, a genie put back in it's bottle.

[Genifer Teal]

When you say you don't want boobies, why is that? I have a good idea. I'm just wondering if it's for the same reasons. As far as sex drive goes if you want it less. Will it really matter if it reduces? I've always considered that the two go hand in hand. Maybe it's a self fulfilling prophecy, at least it's a little like that. I've always felt. I wouldn't miss it if I didn't want it anymore. The big caveat is, if you want to partner or have a partner and you want to be able to satisfy them? That would be different and something beyond your control. I could see how it would matter in that sense. Just wondering your thoughts.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Years ago I thought about "possibly" taking hormones for many of the reasons you have.

I researched the pro's and con's and came away vehemently against taking them. The con's far, far outweighed the pro's for me.

Unbeknownst to me at the same time, it scared the bejesus out of my wife. She saw me reading the book I'd purchased on the subject and assumed that was the road I was going to speed down. She was very worried about what was going to happen to our marriage, her and the children.

Communication is important and I never told her I had considered it for reasons other than the ones she thought. However; when I did tell her that I wasn't going to do this later my words fell on deaf ears. She just didn't believe me.

Thankfully a session with my therapist, without myself, settled the issue and it never returned.

[docrobbysherry]

Sam, I went thru a similar stage over 25 years ago. Except that boobs were No.1 on my list of girl wants!:battingeyelashes:

As an over 80 CD who just returned from a week in Vegas partying late every nite with 100's of other T's I'm a bit concerned about your "lack of energy". Compared to me you're still a child!:heehee:

U should talk to your pediatrition about that!:devil:

[Samantha1]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies!

I want to make the step one day of being able to live this way 24/7. I want to stay hidden for now though (though I have gone out a couple of times to thrift stores etc to buy some clothes!) So, your advice is much needed, I will definitely go with HRT one day but baby steps first.

I do want boobies but not ready for the possible social aspects. But that's a bridge to cross at a later date. No partner, recently single from a longer term relationship. As far as not wanting a decrease in sex drive, I find myself becoming much more open to my attraction to men. I want that experience. Came close with a friend when I was younger and still wish I had known myself better back then to try to take it furthur.

My pediatrician prescribed some Flintstones for me! :battingeyelashes:

[Genifer Teal]

Kind of what I figured. Boobies means no more hiding it. Everyone will see you for who you are. Great when you are ready for it. Many other benefits are not as obvious.