London Underground made me think

[Connie D50]

So if you see a sister (that is what I like to call us on this site :)) in public and you have a chance to greet them do you??
If your in public and trying to blend lets say shopping or just out and about, would you like to be greeted?

On one hand I'm not sure I want to be greeted, does it mean I failed at passing?
On the other hand I would love to be greeted and have a nice conversation, like I have watch my wife and many other women with stangers she meets in a check out line or in a store shopping.

[chrissy111]

A couple of weeks ago I was in Macy's looking for a new bra and I had an encounter with a 20 something guy who asked me about how to find a bra that would fit him. He wasn't dressed in fem and was nervous shopping. He was very friendly so I just reassured him that no one cares and just find out your size by measuring yourself.

[alliy377]

Chrissy, I do most of my shopping online, but I have bought some of my first stuff in store, and I was extremely nervous.

Connie, unfortunately, I don't get to go out in public as a sister (love that term) but hoping that changes soon and would love to be greeted and have conversations as you mentioned.

[Fiona_44]

I have seen a number of CD sisters while out and about but have not attempted to greet them. My thinking is that by doing so they might infer that you are basically telling them that they don't pass or are simply a man in a dress and that may provoke a negative reaction. Also, I am wary when meeting strangers and prefer to meet CD sisters through other trans women who know them.

[kimdl93]

If I saw another person crossdressing, I wouldn?t go out of my way to talk with them, mostly out of respect for their privacy. Similarly, I might feel a bit weird if a stranger came up to speak with me out of the blue, whether a cross dresser or not.

[Genifer Teal]

In this day and age depending on the person and how they were acting. I wouldn't think twice about saying hi, it's not really a deal anymore seriously .

[char GG]

I would be very careful and not approach someone who you think is a CDer.

From what I've read on these forums for the past few years, I think some people would feel very sad if they didn't think that they were passing as a woman.

Personally, I would keep my mouth shut.

[SaraLin]

Speaking strictly for myself,
I would positively hate to be approached in a manner that recognized my "less-than" membership as a natural woman.
If you're going to let me know that you see through my efforts to blend in - please don't. I'm insecure enough already. I don't need you telling me that I failed.

On the other hand, If you were to treat me as if you didn't have ANY idea that I wasn't the "Real McCoy," I'd be thrilled.
Just don't overdo it. Holding the door for me, a simple "ladies first", or other common courtesy would be plenty.
Flirting or trying to chat with me would make me uneasy.
When I'm out (VERY rarely) I just want to be just another face in the crowd - "nothing to see here folks, move along."

[Karren H]

I do not approach anyone I suspect as crossdressing and I would hope no one would approach me when out enfemme.

[JayBird]

I think approach is a strong word, which I think it means to seek out of your way to engage in a conversation. At the grocery store or out-and-about shopping, approaching any stranger is a bit cringey for any gender. Usually, you would think, that the approach-er is interested in getting to know you.

However, if you are standing in line and they are next to you simple small talk may be appropriate, just like any other person. A kind smile or acknowledgement could also be okay. Social interactions are tricky at times, and with male-female are always difficult to manage without being cringey. My advice would be treat her as you would treat any other female in the same situation. If you are the social type that can have a non-cringey conversation and not make the situation or other person feel awkward, then I think it could be fine.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Boy-Me is introverted, very introverted. In fact, the last time I took the Myers-Brigs test, I pinned the scale on introversion.

Steffi is much more extroverted. She encourages Boy-Me to be more extroverted. Since she's always inside of me, watching everything that goes on, she encourages me to talk to people that I don't know, sometimes men but usually women. Steffi even does this when I'm en femme, especially to GGs.

I'm in a DC social group and I usually go out en femme monthly. Typically, we go out to a vanilla restaurant/bar and we mix freely with the muggles. I've approached many GGs in that situation and have been approached by many others. Once, on Halloween, there were a group of flight attendants in the lobby waiting for their ride to the airport. I was dressed, in costume, and I approached them to tell them how much I liked "their costume". I know. Totally crazy and inappropriate.

I'm fine being Steffi, even if Steffi isn't as pretty as every other girl. So I'm approachable.

However, I'm much less likely to approach. I approached one androgynous-looking guy, who claimed that he wasn't one of us. It was a very embarrassing, "Are you pregnant?" moment for both of us.

[TheHiddenMe]

I've had women say things to me (generally compliments) and based on their comments it was clear to me they knew I wasn't a GG. It does not bother me that their eyes are telling them the truth, that I'm NOT a GG.

I have seen others on the transgender spectrum while out in public and MY default assumption is they are someone who has transition or is transitioning (i .e , presenting full time) as opposed to be a CD. Given that, I wouldn't approach them, because it's just the wrong thing to do, IMO. It violates their privacy.

[daphne g]

I had a gg come up to me once and asked if Iwas man or woman
This was at Karneval here in Germany,I told her and asked why she asked and she said she and her girlfriend had a bet
Then she said her friend lost the bet
This really didn’t bother me,I know I can’t pass because of my body form and I believe 99 percent of us are the same
Although I think a lot of us can blend in in a crowd,
I was just flattered that this young lady came up to me and struck a conversation with me
But I think I could clock nearly any Crossdresser I see so don’t get upset if someone does clock you

[Snide_lobster]

I don't go out en femme except to places where being a bloke in a dress is par for the course, i.e. the one gay bar still in town (although interestingly enough old school crossdressers seem to be the minority of this collective). That being said, while I often get a few compliments each time I go out, I don't think I'm really fooling anyone, especially not when they hear my voice. I just accept that this is the reality of the situation, and take the compliments as they come in whatever form they come.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My first time out, I went to the Maryland Renaissance Faire. I rented a wench costume and wore a scarf over my head because I didn't have a wig. Somewhere, I have a pic of myself and my makeup was truly atrocious. There was a group of twenty-something GGs walking towards me and one of them gave me a big smile. I knew that I wasn't fooling anyone and she obviously wasn't fooled. Rather than turning into a wallflower, I gave her a big smile back. She gave me a really beaming smile and a big "thumbs up". How could anyone expect any better.

But there's more. Later, on I went to one of the food vendors to get "A Steak on a Stick". After I paid, the vendor said, "Thank you, m'lady." That's Victorian vernacular for "ma'am".

[Cheryl T]

If I see a sister while I'm out somewhere I would give a nod first and see if I get a positive response before actually approaching and greeting her.
I would only do it if I'm dressed also. I think it would be awkward for both if I were not.

Same if someone sees me and realizes we share this particular love. If she were dressed and approached me I'd be more receptive than if I was approached by a man.

I don't see it as not "passing" as I don't see that as the goal. Few of us have the natural features to truly pass in public. I simply wish to be accepted as a person.

[kimmy p]

Nope. I let them alone. Partially for the same reasons I say nothing to a pregnant woman.... What if I am wrong?

[Rachelakld]

Like Steffi, as a boy I'm introverted and as a girl, I'm an extrovert and love being chatted too.
I tried chatting to another sister once, she knew me from my blog, it was hard as we had nothing in common if you took away how we dress.

[daphne g]

Yes that’s what I wanted to say

[jjjjohanne]

I have seen several trans-men in public who looked like they were presenting male. Sometimes they had on a button or something to communicate they use male pronouns. I said, "Hey." and smiled.
I saw a trans-woman working at the cash register at one business. No makeup. Hairy chest showing through a v-neck low-cut top. There may have been some facial hair. I forget. I asked, "How do you identify?" She said female and thanked me for asking. I said "Thank you, Ma'am." at the end of our transaction.
Once I saw three teens in a grocery store. One was a boy wearing a long dress. I said hi to them, but chickened out of saying anything more. I wish I had said, "I was never lucky enough to have friends that I felt safe enough to wear a dress around."

Perhaps, the best thing to say is "Ma'am" or "Sir" as appropriate and compliment their shoes or say hello, etc.

When biologically female people present male, it is hard to know what is going on. Some girls have short hair, wear rather masculine clothes, but aren't like us.
When biologically male people present female, it is a lot easier to assume there is a gender-variant thing going on.
When a trans-person who has been taking hormones for a while and has had some surgery presents themselves however they are, it can be hard to tell that they aren't cis-gender.

I have been asked by a woman once, "Are you just a man wearing women's clothes?" (I present male.) I told her yes. I think she was trying to figure out if I was transgender or just crossdressing.
I have never been approached by a crossdresser while dressed pretty.