A strange realization

[Heather76]

I have wanted to go out dressed locally for some time. When I say locally, I'm talking about some LGBTQ+ activities held about 25 miles away. There is one bar/club that has drag queens somewhat regularly and another that has trivia nights every week. There is also a group that has a monthly get together at a restaurant.

My wife went out of town for a week. I had the opportunity to go to all 3 places. BUT, I actually chose not to. I was more than happy to spend about 18-20 hours each day dressed fully en femme at home. I had to dress drab some of the time to run our dog, get the mail, do some yard work, etc. But I found I had no desire to do those other things I thought I wanted to do. I plan to still go out en femme if I'm out of town alone, but I'm not going to concern myself about if and when I can do that from our home. I believe I've found a happy place in my CD journey.

[Crissy 107]

Hi Heather, That could be the normal ebb and flow of CDing, I can totally understand what you are saying. It can also still change.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I am perfectly HAPPY at home myself. I think there is a bit of a "fear and 'risk-taking'" element that gives many of us an extra "High" upon going out, or in my case (or possibly you too) just the anticipation of doing so. When push comes to shove, we will not do it, but just serious consideration of doing so is sufficient to generate the high. SO if I get the high anyway, there is really no need to go out and take a big risk. So I can remain safe at home and have fun there.

[Ann Simpson]

I am looking forward to going down to the lake cabin next week to open it up for the season completely. Speaking of completely, I don't dress completely. I am comfortable in underdressing, jeans, tops and tennis shoes. Androgynous. There is a vanity fair outlet in branson. I haven't been there in years. I may have to revisit.

[kimdl93]

Whatever works for you in the moment is all that matters.

[danniUK]

I know how you feel - the desire to get dressed and go out is one thing, but actually doing it is totally an other!

[Genifer Teal]

It's an awkward thing to go out the first time, so much apprehension, so much uncertainty. I remember my first time meeting with a cross dressing group. I just went as a guy to check it out, cause I was so. Nervous to be out dressed with people. I didn't know. I wasn't there 10 minutes and I wish I had brought clothes or dressed otherwise. I met a bunch of great friends. We started hanging out places on a regular basis. And I started to feel more comfortable with myself. It was a great thing

My suggestion is to stop thinking about it and kind of force yourself to go out and see what the experience is like. Then you can decide if it's really something you like or not right now. You're so caught up in your head about what it may or may not be that. You can't make a decision if it's something you want. I know that's where I was. maybe don't Even judge it on the first outing. Because it will be awkward and might fail for other reasons. If you try it a few times and decide, it's not your thing. Great. Find something else to do with your time. At least you'll know you gave it a real try.

[NancySue]

I?m one of the high anticipation, no go group. It sounds great, but I?m content just dressing and enjoying a ride. One never knows who you?ll bump into. Being recognized is my biggest fear, especially in our small conservative community.

[Raychel]

I know exactly what you are saying.

There has been so many times that I wanted to go out dressed. But I have always backed out.

I was ridiculed and tormented all the time in my younger years. My fear of that happening now is what stops me.
And where I dress M.I.A.D and certainly will never pass. I feel this would only make me more prone to get ridiculed.

So sadly my dressing is limited to time when I am alone

[Jane G]

Heather, in all these years I have had many opportunities to search out other crossdressers. Yet I have never done it. Life has so many other threads.

[docrobbysherry]

We all have our limits, Heather. Altho, I've found what Gen said to be absolutely true! If I hadn't pushed myself way beyond anything I ever imagined doing I never would experienced Sherry appearing at Angkor Wat, Tokyo, etc. and on TV a few times. These things never entered my mind when I began dressing in my 50's. Of course, neither did going out dressed or meeting other dressers.:devil:

Now, these r the hilites of my life and meeting other CD's and trans is my main social outlet!:hugs:

Altho, I'm still a closet dresser in that I don't go out near home and am not comfortable going out to vanilla venues like shopping, malls, or Denny's dressed.:thumbsdn:

And, after a week of dressing and partying in Vegas with 150 T's at WildSide I had no interest in dressing or meeting up with our regular T nite girls at Mary's 2 weeks later!:sad:

[Heather76]

Some of you may not remember my posts about going out dressed. I've likely been out dressed 10 - 12 times. If I recall correctly, 3 of those times (maybe 4) have been to pride events in the town I referenced that's 25 miles away. I just realized I don't have to prove anything to anyone or to myself. I've settled on a makeup routine that I believe works well for me. I like my wig. In fact, I can use my own hair for bangs and it's a spot on match to the wig. I just realized there is no need to push any limits of possible exposure when I can dress at home as much as I care to. It's Saturday afternoon right now. After returning home from a couple hours of volunteering, I changed into nylons, bra, forms, and a dress at 3 p.m. Of course, I was already wearing panties. When my wife goes to bed tonight, it will be wig and makeup time. The wig and makeup will come off along with the dress when I put a nighty on to go to bed. That will be about 17-18 hours of dressing before we get ready for church in the morning. Anyway, I had always thought going out was important, but I've discovered it isn't as important as I had thought. This is a strange, but wonderful, journey all us ladies are on. I love everything about it.

[Debs]

Im the exact opposite, if I go to the bother of getting fully dressed doing all my makeup, I have to go out, if Ive nowhere to go I cant be bothered doing all my makeup because there no point is there ? nobody is going to see it just me and a mirror and I already know what I look like fully dressed.

[Genifer Teal]

Debs exactly! I don't bother to get dressed app unless I'm going somewhere. Especially all the makeup. I have so much fun planning and doing my makeup. But then I wanna show it off. Sure. It's great to look at in the mirror and take a few pictures. But that's not what it's all about for me. I love interacting with people

- - - Updated - - -

Nancy After several years of going to the certain cross dressing group near home. I bump into someone who I've known for a while. But for some reason in this moment she reminds me of someone from work. A company with 7000 employees. I happen to pass a comment. How she reminds me of someone from work. Not that I thought it was someone or I was asking. And she responds with. Yes, the crazy thing is we work together on many occasions over the years and she finally comes out to me a few months before she retires and she knew of me 5 years or more before that and never. Mentioned it. She was always extra nice to me at work. But most people are nice so I didn't think much of it.

[JulieC]

I'm torn about going out. I tire of being forced to stay in the cage of home. Earlier this year, I had four months of being a temporary empty nester with my wife. She's very accepting. I was able to dress as much as I wanted as often as I wanted. Most of it was at home. I relished that few months of time, and didn't feel a need to be out in public that much.

Now, it's over, and I'm not getting enough time to dress. The only real opportunities to dress are outside of the house. But, I get such nerves about doing it. I hate the thought of being seen by others and being in an unsafe situation. I commented about this in another thread I think last year. I was in the military. I trained to head into the storm not away from it. I've never thought of myself as a coward, nor am I. I've been in many emergency situations in life and always responded very well, without allowing fear to grip me.

With crossdressing? The fear doesn't overwhelm me, but the sheer impact on my heart...uhg. It can't be good for me. So then I think, "Why am I doing this?"

[audreyinalbany]

I don't thinker its any big deal...sometimes I see activities I look forward to but when the time comes I just don't feel like making the effort.

[Marketa]

Julie, in the military even when you headed into the worst of the worst, you had ways to fight back, but in this case you have no way to strike back in any other way than take a deep breath and keep going. That's the difference, so don't let the thought of cowardliness cross your mind. It's just situation you don't know how to fight back in.

If you want to go out but at the same time stress of it doing is overwhelming you, I would suggest to go out after dark. Maybe just stroll the neighbourhood, or rent a hotel room for a night or two and go out from there.

Also I read a good advice on this forum exactly about this: Are you afraid that people will recognise you, or that they will recognise exactly YOU?

[abby054]

What Debs wrote. When I do all the work to get dolled up, I want to go out and do something about it.

[alwayshave]

Heather, I only dress outside of my home given my wife's daughter. I'd love the opportunity to dress at home.