Caught but.......... ?

[_jenni_]

So?I was caught but!

Long time dresser closeted obviously and in a DADT. Even thought it was brought up early, she wasn?t a fan but there were no other qualms. It was just kept to myself after that. Had a few close calls over the years but nothing earth shattering. Then today happens. Kids have some friends over it?s hot they wanna swim. They don?t have suits so wife offers up mine. Without asking where they were and rummaged around my dresser unearthing a pile of panties. Of course she is upset what a shock she wasn?t expecting. But geez I wasn?t expecting to share my trunks with a bunch of dudes either.

[Judy-Somthing]

Like most of us we have to hide it. My wife finds it disgusting.

[Kris Burton]

It sounds to me like you have done your best to keep your end of the DADT arrangement. It she finds some of your stuff while rummaging around, it's not your fault. Gotta ask too - how is it that your clothing gets offered up without asking you first? I think a true DADT has got to work both ways. Perhaps it is time for another "talk" and revisit that DADT to establish some new boundaries - for both of you.

[_jenni_]

Right. It?s not like there was a heads up or an ask. I wasn?t anticipating the situation. It that what I get for letting my guard down.

[Raychel]

Just my thoughts,

If you are in a true DADT situation, She should not be all that surprised if she finds something, Especially if she goes rooting thru your clothes.
Definitely sounds like it is time to have another talk.

[Stephanie47]

One of the problems that arises in a DADT marriage is the lack of discussion. My wife has not said "boo" since the early 1980's about my desire to wear women's clothing. I don't think she knows the extent of my wardrobe, but I could be wrong. She seems to be either terrified of opening my armoire to find it stocked with panties, slips and nightgowns or she is applying the same attitude of neither husband and wife rummaging through either person's personal "stuff." Because of the lack of acceptance and discussion there has not been anyone to rein me in, so to speak; "Honey, don't you think you have enough panties, slips, dresses (162)?" If I predecease my wife she is in for a shock!

[Natalie5004]

My wife knows to stay out of my stuff. I do not touch her clothes either.

I think your wife kind of crossed the line here.

[jjjjohanne]

It took me a couple minutes to realize that she was offering your men's swimming trunks. It was confusing until that became clear! :)

[_jenni_]

My wife knows to stay out of my stuff. I do not touch her clothes either.

I think your wife kind of crossed the line here.

It certainly feels like it


It took me a couple minutes to realize that she was offering your men's swimming trunks. It was confusing until that became clear! :)


Sry there was a lot going through my head. Yup though my trunks, smh.

[alwayshave]

Jenni, I'm sorry about how your wife reacted.

[Nyla F]

... what I get for letting my guard down.

No, that's what she gets for rummaging through your drawers. I too am in a DADT relationship. She knows I have women's clothes, and while I keep them out of view I don't go out of my way to prevent my wife from finding them. I've even offered to show her where I keep my clothes but she has declined.

You might consider something similar assuming there are more clothes she did not yet see. As long as you are comfortable standing your ground about keeping the clothes, offering to show her where they are can make you feel better about not hiding it. It then is up to her if she looks, and if she doesn't want to see it then she knows where not to go snooping around.

[_jenni_]

Now it seems to be a game of how long are they going to stay in that drawer. I purposefully didn?t add anything to that drawer when was in the room watching as I put away laundry. She?s not mentioned it so I?m not going to either.

[Jane G]

That's a tough call Jennie. We are in an dadt relationship these days, though it was far more open when we were younger. My wife knows what's in my closest and doesn't much bat an eye when she spots something new. If your wife knows about your crossdressing, then it should hopefully broaden her understanding in the long term.

[CarlaWestin]

I was in the man cave in the barn with the pink closet door wide open and wife walked in. I just casually engaged and calmly closed and locked the door.
Nothing was said but I did reenact the encounter from her point of view to see what might have been seen. If she doesn't care, I don't care.

[_jenni_]

The underdressing she knows about. The full crossdressing maybe?it?s not like the basket of makeup and lotion under my side of the sink is hidden. Or when she opened a delivery that was clearly labeled not for her and opened a wig?that convo was a real treat.