Do you have a clear LOWlight among your CDing experiences?

[CharlotteCD]

The world needs balance, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years it's to avoid reading about positivity all of the time and to understand the lowest points people in your situation may have felt and to learn from how they pulled themselves back from that position.

This could be really helpful for somebody who feels at their lowest point and feels lost, then reads about a similar situation and learns what to do next to help themselves recover.



I think that my lowlight is when my Ex discovered my stash and was giving me all of the questions about if I was gay, if I wanted to be a woman, why I do it etc. I was as honest as I could possibly be but I could feel that things had changed between us.

It ended in divorce, and honestly the advice I would give is to just be direct about it if confronted, and say it isn't going to go away and you need to accept it is a part of my life, make an agreement of how it co-exists with our marriage or this will divide us.



What is your lowest CDing moment, and what did you learn from it?

[Geena75]

Mine was a number of years ago. I was part of a forum and was becoming active. I was in regular contact with another dresser and enjoyed messaging back and forth. Then a combination of things happened. First, I began getting 'dissed' by certain members because my level of dressing at the time didn't measure up to their standards. Then my friend took the course of transition, sacrificing their marriage, family, and friends. Feeling inadequate and scared, I purged and walked away for months. Eventually I went back to checking on this forum and heard from more moderate views and examples. Gradually I started again and found self-acceptance and fulfillment.

[Cheryl T]

Mine was not long after I came out fully to my wife and had dressed fully for her the first time.
I told her I wanted to join a support group and meet others like myself to help understand all this. We found a group and that night I dressed and off we went. The meeting was being held at a hotel in a large room they had rented. I had no real expectations except for the hope of being welcomed. It was a mixed group of CD and TS and we were greeted by one of the ladies and introduced to some others. As the evening progressed it became obvious that there was a distinct division in the room. Those that were TS in one area and those CD's in another. I tried to mingle with everyone but felt shunned by the TS ladies. It seemed I wasn't good enough for them, I was real enough. They made me feel like a pretender.
Luckily one of the ladies (CD) was the President of another group that met in another part of the state. She invited us to her group and from the first meeting with them I felt at home and welcome. I will never forget how the others treated me and the other CD's.

Some time later we attended a 3rd group that was mixed as well. While they were more friendly I still always detected a bit of disdain, feeling I wasn't really good enough for them. It's sad that such a thing exists within our community. True we don't face the same struggles but we all need to be on the same side.

[chrissy111]

We had been married about a year and went to a club one night. A guy came over and asked me to dance and my wife said go for it, so I did and the guy wouldn't keep his hands off of me. So I finally had had enough and in my manly voice told him to leave me alone. We ended up leaving because he started screaming that I was a guy in a F-in dress.

[docrobbysherry]

Once again, I've had so many lowlites it's impossible to pick the worst!:doh:

When I began dressing out of the blue about 30 years ago? I was very proud of my fem figure but my old man face was ruining for me! After a year I was ready to give it up. Then, on Halloween I tried on a cheesy, see thru, female mask and Sherry was born!:battingeyelashes:

While attending my 1st big T event in Vegas we were all out at the pool. I went off by alone to take some photos of Sherry in private. Feeling good about myself I kept the mask on while walking back to our T group. None of the vanilla's seemed to care or notice. Back near our group a very unfem dresser hollered in his loudest, deep, voice, "That's the most F-ed up thing I've ever seen!":eek:

When I began going out to meet a large, closeby, T girl nite club group nearly 20 years ago, the first few times I left Sherry at home. I was greeted warmly by everyone! After I felt comfortable with this group, I finally put on my mask for a few moments to take photos. For years afterward some of them that been so friendly treated me like I had the plague!:sad:

[Debbie Denier]

My lowlight was also when my wife discovered my stash. The gay questions and ultimatum to get rid. I reluctantly complied as I valued the other parts of my marriage and children.Honesty wasnt the best policy for me after my dishonesty.

[kimdl93]

It is a memory I prefer not to revisit.

[SaraLin]

Lowlights? too many to count.

The worst one? I've told this before, but it was when the mirror bluntly informed that transition was not possible for me.

The most recent? when my wife looked at me and told me to "take that hideous thing off." It was a nightie I've been wearing in her presence for a long time, so it indicates that she's getting LESS tolerant, not more. <sigh>

The most common? public reactions on those rare occasions where I try to show my "pretty" face - but someone inevitably reacts negatively (and usually loudly!)
It always makes me want to crawl back into hiding and never show my face again.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Maybe the nighty was getting ratty and she thought you should get a new one.

I also dislike the ugly comments from the muggles. I try to remember to smile back, not to shirk. Tt take practice. Truth is, many times my "pretty face" is more "comely" than their pretty face. Or my dress is much more feminine than their grubby jeans.

- - - Updated - - -



We ended up leaving because he started screaming that I was a guy in a F-in dress.

Kind of surprised that he yelled that out. What does that say about him. I guess he could blame it on "beer goggles".

[CarlaWestin]

I was going to mention the time that fully dressed, makeup, heels, the works, I was ever so quietly closing the front door to take a moonlight stroll when a framed mosaic decided to release itself from above the door and crashed squarely on my head. the gushing blood ruining my makeup, clothes and adventure. Surprisingly, no one was awoken.

But, that wasn't the worst.

My ex pretending to play along dressing me nicely just to get Exhibit "A" in an attempt to capitalize her divorce. Failed miserably for her.

[michelleddg]

I was turning left, and picked it up a bit as the light had turned yellow. While steaming through I saw the sign above "no left turn 2pm to 4pm". Sure enough, it was a turn trap, the police were on the ready one block up the road.

Pulled over and put through the process. The cops were 1000% professional. They tacked on that I was driving without sight correction, but advised I could get that waived if I could pass a visual exam at DMV. They also advised I could get the illegal left turn waived if i took a defensive driving course.

Still, getting pulled over while gorgeous was beyond mortifying.

Hugs, Michelle

[SaraLin]

Maybe the nighty was getting ratty and she thought you should get a new one.


I wish, but no.
It's a maxi, tie-dye patterned, and deliciously comfortable. When I first got it, she said that it was pretty. Now, she says it's "hideous."
I have a second one in a similar design that she'd previously vetoed my wearing as soon as I got it <sigh>. Maybe she thought I'd decided to wear that one. Who knows?
I'm not sure yet, but I don't think I'm going to back down this time. Time will tell, I guess.

[countrygirl]

To be told by dad that I was no longer his son, when he found out that I was still dressing. He had known for years that I crossdressed. He discovered this many years ago from a neighbor who saw me and told him. He thought after yelling at me, that he had solved the problem. Yet, it made me be more careful as to bringing this side round. I ended up cutting him off for about a month and a half after that. It took my sister to tell him what a huge but he was. He never formally apologized to me for that. I went and was the bigger person and started to talk to him again hoping to regain some sense of communication. We talk but I don't know if I will never recover from that from him. It hurt me very deeply. This is why one day if I ever have a kid that wants to wear a dress or a suit I don't care. I will not be my own childs bully. I only wish that dad would meet this side of me, I know that will never happen. He is too stuck in the past. I am currently dressed writing this, it feels normal because it is. I only wish that those of us who are AMAB who want to wear a dress, bra, panties, makeup, slips and other feminine items do so without fear and are supported by those who love us.

[abby054]

Two experiences: one that happened and one that I fortunately avoided.
1. For years, I often dressed early in the morning. Wife sleeps in every day. One Saturday, she got insomnia and found me fully dressed. We were already DADT at the time but this ended those arrangements. Things were tense for months, as I have described on this forum in other posts.
2. I was on travel last January to a big city several states distant where I caught covid for the seventh time. Covid symptoms progressed as expected, mostly. My last covid symptom is usually temporary loss of sight in the outer half of my right eye. When that blindness happens at night, I may not recognize the loss immediately. Coming home from a concert one Friday evening, I had lost my sight but I did not notice it. I made a left turn and totaled a rental car because I did not see oncoming traffic. No one was injured. I had initially decided to go to the concert en femme. But I got busy that afternoon and time got away from meeting. I decided to go to the concert in drab rather than miss it. What a lowlight it could have been to deal with the cops, the other driver, witnesses, tow truck drivers, ambulance, all while en femme.

[DavynaCD]

Getting caught dressed up by my wife after 25 years together. Easily the lowest point. But thankfully, she has decided to accept it and give me a chance.

[prene]

Yes a low light for me.

I am somewhat glad she found out before our relationship went farther.
I just wish I could find a accepting gg out there.

II decided to go to a therapist and it has helped me a lot

[BethanyCross]

One of my lowlights was when my wife discovered a tissue in the toilet that had lipstick on it. She confronted me about having an affair so I clearly had to tell the truth that it was mine. She said she thought I was over that. I had to explain - again - that this does not go away. Another time I picked up my teenage daughter at school and she asked me why my lips were so pink. The lipstick had stained my lips ( it went in the garbage immediately, btw). I told her it must have been from the glass of red wine I had just finished. Prety lame excuse and I am sure that that episode, combined with a few other similar ones makes my daughter wonder about me.

[Bea_]

The first time I ventured out to a coffee shop in a hybrid femme mode, including badly done makeup. A nice young bohemian type guy took my order and was totally professional. But a cute young female barista standing behind him looked like she was throwing up in her mouth. It took a while to try again. My wife gave me constructive criticism on my makeup attempts and I feel much more confident in that aspect.

[sometimes_miss]

It would be when my ex divorced me, and blackmailed me for everything we had, or she would out me to my friends, family, and work. She had pics that she had taken of me, back when I thought she was starting to accept me as a CD, and had bought me some girl clothes. Afraid of how my family would respond, I told my mother and sister. Neither took it well. Mother would go on to try to avoid the topic, 'Are you still doing that?' as a derogatory comment, and then refuse to say anything more about it. Sister started avoiding all contact, would answer the phone but only respond in single words to anything I tried to talk about. She basically cut off almost all communication.
AFAIK, wife held up her end of the deal, and told no one, since she got everything she wanted.

I got out of a bad marriage, but it cost me everything. That's pretty low.