Olivia J. Robinson
07-21-2024, 09:57 PM
Hey girls. (Spam-ish post, mental unloading about to occur)
Just thought I would post the aftermath of my little crisis-of-faith at the theatre.
This was a response that I posted to my original post, as the show, "La cage aux folles" - performed at the Avon Theatre, in Stratford, Ontario - was about to begin:
Oh, what a perfectly vicious little brain loop.....
1 - no show better to dress up for
2 - feeling full-on fear at this "audacious move" on my part. I know I am capable of standing out this much...but ... anxious...
3 - angry at myself for not being already dressed....only 25 minutes to Showtime ...not enough time now
4 - sad at what feels like a missed opportunity now.
Wow, I am standing here, and have almost broken into tears a couple of times...
I have the guts for this...
Simultaneously, I feel so incredibly alone in this... (not the case, but I would be the only CD'er here, dressed)
Sorry girls. Pity party as coping mechanism. I'm okay.
(I will get dressed up later and show y'all what I had in mind for this)
��
So, now, it is the following day, and my emotional balance is almost regained.
I never did get dressed for the show, so the opportunity to do so is very much gone. I have gone through an abbreviated period of mourning for that. ��
As I watched the show, though, I realized that the outfit I chose to bring would have been elegant (deep blue wrap-style dress, long blond wig, etc.) but not nearly sparkly/glamorous enough to reflect the spirit of the show. After the show, I went to the gift shop to pick up one of the feather boas and a pretty chunky necklace. I figured I could maybe use a touch of retail therapy here. And my daughter, who is a sweetheart, stated that I should not buy such an "expensive" boa here, since a Dollar store carried them too. She had no idea that this helpful suggestion on her part utterly shut me down.
The only "me" that I had left was the "what I have to do" version that ALWAYS puts everyone else ahead of me, in all things and all ways. Not really grumpy, but definitely no sparkle in my soul anywhere.
The next morning, my daughter, wife and I went to have brekkie out, and I very deliberately dressed 100% drab to match the wasteland that felt inside. They could tell I was upset and being "stoic" about it, (bless their souls!)
Once we dropped my daughter off at her apartment in town, I was able to share with my wife just what state I was in. I had resolved to step away from Jenny for a while since there was no way I wanted to feel that badly, but the sharing helped. She is so supportive. Eventually, we decided that I need to:
- acquire a truly sparkly, fabulous outfit of some sort. Sparkle, sequins, go go go!
- return to Stratford and see the show again... only this time, going in fully "dressed to impress" and as glamorous as possible...taking all necessary time to get the presentation just right.
So...that's my next move. I have no pics to show anyone, but I suspect I will when retail therapy is done.
<shrug>
[Okay, brain is unloaded. If you've followed along with my little narrative, thank you. I appreciate your attention.]
<image of Jenny tossing wrapped chocolate truffles around to everyone, in gratitude>
Jenny. (gads, I almost typed my drab-name just there. Sheesh!)
Just thought I would post the aftermath of my little crisis-of-faith at the theatre.
This was a response that I posted to my original post, as the show, "La cage aux folles" - performed at the Avon Theatre, in Stratford, Ontario - was about to begin:
Oh, what a perfectly vicious little brain loop.....
1 - no show better to dress up for
2 - feeling full-on fear at this "audacious move" on my part. I know I am capable of standing out this much...but ... anxious...
3 - angry at myself for not being already dressed....only 25 minutes to Showtime ...not enough time now
4 - sad at what feels like a missed opportunity now.
Wow, I am standing here, and have almost broken into tears a couple of times...
I have the guts for this...
Simultaneously, I feel so incredibly alone in this... (not the case, but I would be the only CD'er here, dressed)
Sorry girls. Pity party as coping mechanism. I'm okay.
(I will get dressed up later and show y'all what I had in mind for this)
��
So, now, it is the following day, and my emotional balance is almost regained.
I never did get dressed for the show, so the opportunity to do so is very much gone. I have gone through an abbreviated period of mourning for that. ��
As I watched the show, though, I realized that the outfit I chose to bring would have been elegant (deep blue wrap-style dress, long blond wig, etc.) but not nearly sparkly/glamorous enough to reflect the spirit of the show. After the show, I went to the gift shop to pick up one of the feather boas and a pretty chunky necklace. I figured I could maybe use a touch of retail therapy here. And my daughter, who is a sweetheart, stated that I should not buy such an "expensive" boa here, since a Dollar store carried them too. She had no idea that this helpful suggestion on her part utterly shut me down.
The only "me" that I had left was the "what I have to do" version that ALWAYS puts everyone else ahead of me, in all things and all ways. Not really grumpy, but definitely no sparkle in my soul anywhere.
The next morning, my daughter, wife and I went to have brekkie out, and I very deliberately dressed 100% drab to match the wasteland that felt inside. They could tell I was upset and being "stoic" about it, (bless their souls!)
Once we dropped my daughter off at her apartment in town, I was able to share with my wife just what state I was in. I had resolved to step away from Jenny for a while since there was no way I wanted to feel that badly, but the sharing helped. She is so supportive. Eventually, we decided that I need to:
- acquire a truly sparkly, fabulous outfit of some sort. Sparkle, sequins, go go go!
- return to Stratford and see the show again... only this time, going in fully "dressed to impress" and as glamorous as possible...taking all necessary time to get the presentation just right.
So...that's my next move. I have no pics to show anyone, but I suspect I will when retail therapy is done.
<shrug>
[Okay, brain is unloaded. If you've followed along with my little narrative, thank you. I appreciate your attention.]
<image of Jenny tossing wrapped chocolate truffles around to everyone, in gratitude>
Jenny. (gads, I almost typed my drab-name just there. Sheesh!)