Unable to dress... for a whole new reason

[CharlotteCD]

For the last 10 years I have been unable to dress due to it being a secret from my (Soon to be Ex) wife, or from my infant daughter, or simply a lacking of desire.

Well today I have a whole new reason why I am unable to dress - All of my clothes, makeup and wig are at my girlfriends!

Days like today are real "pinch me, I must be dreaming" days, where I genuinely cannot believe the position I am in.... It doesn't change how frustrating it is though!

I don't have the spare money to buy a second makeup kit for my house, and I don't want to keep carrying it back and forth between the locations as sometimes I do nights at Family Home, Girlfriends Home, Parents Home, then back again.


Oh well. First world problems and all that.

[kimdl93]

Seems like a tolerable situation.

[Debbie Denier]

Your circumstances are frustrating Charlotte. However if I had a tolerant and accepting girlfriend , I would be spending as much time at her place as I possibly could.

[Jane G]

Dare we assume your new girlfriend knows you crossdress? If so then chat about it and hopefully you can move your girl things to a place where they can be enjoyed more.

[docrobbysherry]

Let me get this straight: You're married and your fem stuff is over at your girlfriend's house? And, your wife knows nothing about your dressing?

Since dressing can't be the cause of your upcoming divorce, Charlotte, I'm curious if infidelity is the reason you're leaving your wife and infant daughter?:doh:

Sorry I can't be more sympathetic about your fem gear but divorce sounds more serious to me. Maybe u could explain the details?:straightface:

[CharlotteCD]

I'll give you the timeline Sherry, just to clear things up for you and others who may also wonder.

My wife knew of my dressing since over a year before our daughter was born. She accepted that it was a thing, but didn't like it and was DADT. She was still willing to have a child with me as the dressing didn't bother her that much.



Fast forward from 2019 to 2024...


January - I tell Wife I am fed up of being treated so badly, with no intimacy, no affection, and no love. It's been happening for 18 months or so. She says fine, divorce or open marriage. I say no to both, because I don't back down on my vows of til death, and she has claimed she isn't interested in sex for 18 months, so why would she want an open marriage?

Feb/March - I try everything to work on the marriage and am totally open at counselling. She refuses to engage, then gives me crap like "I can't force myself to do things". I end it in March and say fine, let's respect our vows and not be with anybody else until the divorce is submitted.

April - She refuses to submit the divorce, then goes off and - her work colleague, gets caught, admits it, then the next day realises it'll ruin her ENGAGED colleague's family and tells me she made it all up. Classy as they come, and exactly what I suspected all along - she was having an emotional affair and that's what caused the disengagement from the relationship.

May - I meet an incredible woman and, as per my vows, I force the divorce through so I can start dating with a clear conscience. Divorce is submitted, and once it has been filed I start dating.


There has been ZERO infidelity or cheating on my part. I have honoured every part of my relationship for 10 years and never so much as had a peck on the cheek or a hand holding from another woman until the day the divorce was filed.


To answer Jane's Q, yes, she is aware. I have been open with her regarding the dressing and she is happy to do have dressing both in the bedroom and as a part of general fun in the house. She's done my makeup before etc. There are no secrets between us, hence her giving me a drawer for all of my femme things.

[docrobbysherry]

Char, thanks for explaining and I'm SO SORRY! I went thru a very similar set of circumstances in my divorce so I can imagine what u must be going thru!:sad:

I sincerely hope things work out with your GF!:hugs:|

It took 2 years before I was interested in women or sex again after my divorce!:doh:

[danniUK]

I'll give you the timeline Sherry, just to clear things up for you and others who may also wonder.


So sorry to hear this Char, my first marriage ended when I caught her out cheating on me, also with a young child in the picture. It absolutely killed me, until I met my now-wife who's the most amazing person.
It sounds like you've already met your amazing person! I really hope things work out between you.

[Heather76]

Debbie mentioned exactly what I was thinking. If all your fem wardrobe is at the GF's place, I'd be there as much as possible.

[CharlotteCD]

Due to other commitments like work, 50/50 custody and the distance between us, it isn't practical to be at hers any more than the 2-3 days a week I am already there.

I've definitely had my eyes opened as to what an accepting partner can bring to the party. I don't push for dressing much as a day-to-day thing. It's just something that she's happy for me to do if I want, or something she might tell me to do if we're feeling naughty - like telling me to underdress at a public place purely because we know and nobody else does.

[Aubrey Cane]

2-3 days a week at your GF?s house is a decent amount of time, so maybe you have to pull back a tiny step back with the dressing to take much larger steps later. You seem like you are in a perfect scenario where everything is working out the way you want. You just have to be patient and everything will work itself out.

Also if you weren’t intimate with your wife for 18 months and she wasn’t willing to be intimate but then suggested an open marriage, im sorry to say but she was being intimate probably the whole time. A woman who asks for an open marriage just doesn’t turn off the intimacy switch.