Sleeping separately

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife moved out (of the communal bed) over 10 years ago. At first I thought that she was so disgusted by my crossdressing that she couldn't even sleep with me. Not that she has ever seen me dressed, unless she has X-ray vision and can see when I'm underdressing or she can see my painted nails.

She has come up with a number of reasons/excuses over the years. The one I like the best is that my CPAP is too noisy for her to sleep comfortably. I switched to a different, quieter mask but that didn't change her mind.

But, there is an advantage to sleeping separately. I can sleep undetected in a bra with forms. like I did last night. Once she goes to bed, I can put on my bra (clipped in front), spin it around and insert my forms. I also have some sports bras that are very comfortable to sleep in, even with forms inserted. Depending on the specific design, the forms slip around a little bit, but don't fall out.

Waking up with breast forms is the "Breakfast of Champions", for those old enough to remember that tag line.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like you are both happier sleeping separately

[docrobbysherry]

Back in the day we called it snoring.:straightface:

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I sleep apart. Both of us snore, but that's not the issue. She has had too many surgeries and those aches and pains that led to the present day. First, it was lower back pain for her that had her moaning and turning. Then she had a total knee replacement. I have a shrapnel wound to the shoulder that has me constantly changing positions which sort of rock the boat (mattress). So. both of us toss and turn and wake the other up. Off to the other bedroom for her. Corrective surgery and physical therapy was about to end; one more session for her and then she discovered a lump in her breast. That entailed another reason to stay apart. When that was successfully treated another issue arose and another surgery for her. She needs another total knee replacement to get rid of knee pain. She is starting to resemble the "Bionic Woman." Now, it's just more comfortable to not wake each other up.

So, every night it is a bra and panty under a full slip, and, sometimes a nightie over the full slip. She is a late riser and I am the opposite. So, from 6:30 AM to about 10:00 AM I am able to keyboard, read and eat breakfast attired in my night clothes. Does, she know? Maybe, but she has never said anything bad about it since the early 1980's. Life goes on.

[Helen_Highwater]

My situation is similar to Stephanie's. Due to sleep apnoea my SO needs a ventilator and link that to slipped disks, arthritis in ankles and hands, one replaced knee another soon to be done, she's a duvet thief, I kept walking up cold with all the duvet her side, she snores for the national team, I opted for a bed of my own once the kids had moved out and a decent nights sleep

[Raychel]

My ex-wife and I slept in the same bed right up until the day it was over. Never again after that.

Now I can dress however I want at bedtime.
And you are so right. "Breakfast of Champions"

[Bea_]

My wife has had major health issues for the last 30 years. We still slept together until 3 or 4 years ago when she was having problems sleeping and laying in one position to keep from waking me and her joint pains worsened as a result. She also would need to get up several times a night and it got to the point where I decided to experiment by sleeping in spare room. She still has a lot of trouble sleeping through the night but i've been able to string 5 or 6 hours together most nights. I get up early and move around the house trying not to bother her and she usually gets most of her sleep by sleeping late.

I've found that sleeping separately does give me quite a bit more freedom to get up and be dressed however I've decided for the day before I take her a cup of coffee when she wakes up. I then make us breakfast so that she can take her meds and limber up for the day. That's worked for both for our mutual benefits for several years now. It has been a positive development overall.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Back in the day we called it snoring.

Sounds funny, but it's not true. Before I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, I rarely snored. When using the CPAP mask, the CPAP device is constantly pumping air through my throat to keep it from collapsing. It's the air moving through my mask loudly that keeps my wife awake. I have significant hearing loss, and I don't hear the air blowing through my mask.

[Helen_Highwater]

Steffi,

My SO took a lot of persuasion that she had apnoea. She also said she didn't snore, yep like she'd know as she's asleep!

The thing that used to get me was not so much the noise of the ventilator but the times air would escape from the mask and it'd be like someone blowing on my face constantly.

That might have been the straw the moved me to another room thinking about it.

It did of course then give me the opportunity to sleep in a chemise and later forms. While a win it wasn't as much as a decent night's sleep.

[CarlaWestin]

Wife and I have slept separate as an accommodation for my early bird schedule and just general comfort. I've been luxuriating all snug and warm in a silky nighty with sports bra and soft forms every night, walking the dogs out in the morning and then keyboarding. She sleeps in so most mornings I go down to the barn/garage/man-cave and fully dress and sometimes go out for some CD adventure until 9-10 when she starts to stir. I had a rare opportunity to have the house to myself for a week recently but instead of dressing 24/7, I opted to remodel the hall bathroom and cut in a door to my bedroom. Certainly time well spent.

342454

[JulieC]

I read something recently that said more than 50% of married couples sleep separately. True? I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. My mom and dad had a bedroom suite that had two beds. Back in the day, that was common apparently.

My wife and I sleep apart, but our marriage is 100% strong. We both use CPAP machines. When I wear mine (which is every night) it stops my snoring. She wears hers, and I sometimes can hear her snore. It's not one of those freight train kind of snores, but it's barely enough to cause me to wake. And there's the problem; I struggle with insomnia. I have a hard time getting to sleep, and if I'm woken up within an hour or two of going to sleep, I won't get to sleep again. So, we sleep apart because I struggle so hard to sleep well.

My wife is completely supportive of my crossdressing. If we were sleeping together, she'd be fine with me crossdressing while sleeping. I do crossdress when sleeping when the opportunity arises. I still have a couple of (adult) kids at home. Recently, both of the kids were gone for a few months. I slept crossdressed every night, usually with pantyhose, bra, forms, and nightgown. Sometimes I had a full slip underneath the nightgown; the feeling of such fabrics against each other is exquisite!

[Debbie Denier]

My wife also has CPAP machine. As Helen pointed out the air released from the mask can be irritating. However with 2 daughters in their 20s still at home and unlikely to leave in the near future. I have no choice but to wrap up and get on with it.

[danniUK]

The thing that used to get me was not so much the noise of the ventilator but the times air would escape from the mask and it'd be like someone blowing on my face constantly.

That might have been the straw the moved me to another room thinking about it.

My SO started using a CPAP around 6 months ago. She was a heavy snorer but since the machine I've never had such good sleep! I find the machine really quiet - the only issues are when (as you've said) the mask isn't sealed to the face and there's air escaping. Beside that I think the CPAP is the greatest thing since sliced bread! (ah, another ancient expression!)

[Cheryl T]

We have always shared the same bed and that will continue no matter what I wear to sleep.

[chrissy111]

We always sleep together.

[Glenda58]

We used to sleep separately because of my snoring and keeping her awake then she would be in a mad all day. Now I wish she was mad at me now I sleep alone because she's gone.