Femme you and the SO

[Helen_Highwater]

Having posted about how wearing femme things changes my behaviour, mannerisms kick in, crossing legs at the knee, that sort of thing? it made me wonder that, should my DADT relationship become more open, how would my SO react to having a more feminine me.

There?s a difference from simply wearing femme things, being MAID I suppose to being ?The other woman? in the house. So how do those who have accepting wives behave when in the presence of their SO?

Are you male you but in different clothing or does your demeanour alter, a different dynamic and how does your SO find this?

And if you are MAID around the house, does this change if you go out shopping together with you enfemme? And again, how does your SO find it. Did you need prompting to be more feminine or did it come as a bit of a surprise to your other half?

[JulieC]

I suppose I'm more of a MAID than anything.

I've long been concerned about compartmentalizing femme and masucline characteristics of me away from each other. Since the femme side doesn't have a welcome seat at the table in general society, and since dressing at home is rare, I don't want my femme aspects to feel intentionally repressed. That's an ongoing struggle. Anyway, I try to integrate all of me into me.

I'm not consciously aware of femme behaviors that I have per se. I'm not overtly masculine, and I suppose some would view that as "less masculine" but I doubt anyone seeing me in drab would think "femme". When I do have the opportunity to dress, I'm just me in front of my wife. The same me. I think. I think :) Certainly walking in heels makes me walk differently around the house.

We haven't gone shopping together with me en femme. I think she would be ok with it, but I'm not terribly inclined. So, it hasn't happen.


/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
^^^ This line of the post was added by my cat, who thought it was a good opportunity to walk over the keyboard as I was typing :) I've no idea how they got the / and * repeatedly...they didn't tap dance the keyboard. Bizarre.

[April Rose]

My fiancee says that I clomp around like a buffalo when enhomme but I glide in April mode. :heehee:

[docrobbysherry]

Hi heeled spikes change my posture and gait.
But, I was taught by my mom to walk one foot in front of the other because, "Indians walk that way!":battingeyelashes:

When I'm in drab I often find myself with my legs crossed, pointing down, parallel. I quickly pull one leg up so they at 90 degrees when I realize I'm doing that!:o

[Suzie Petersen]

Reminds me of a cartoon.
Do a Google search on:

"the far side frank don't do that"

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't think that I have girly deportment.

But when I was at a therapist once, the first time she saw me dressed, she said that she could see differences when I was dressed. I was sitting up tall, with a straight back, legs crossed at the ankles, hands resting demurely on my lap. It was the first time that I recognized some natural transition into femme mode, beyond the clothes, forms, padding, makeup, wig, etc.

But, I'm in a DADT marriage so I have never dressed in front of my wife. Some femme deportment may slip in from time to time.

[Genifer Teal]

No SO here. What I have noticed in myself, the more I get used to a new (modified) behavior, the more it just becomes a part of me. I could not switch it on and off if I tried.

[bridget thronton]

No real changes in behavior that I am aware of

[Vikky]

Hi Helen
I guess I am a fairly good situation with my SO and her reaction to my CDing. Generally I can dress enfemme in front of her provided there is no risk of anyone seeing me. Thus it is in the evenings when the curtains are closed, but this means I have not been dressing recently in the evenings as its daylight until 10.00pm. I can live with this as the evenings are closing in and I will soon be dressing, maybe 3 or 4 times a week.
When dressed I try and adopted feminine mannerisms ? crossing knees, sitting a bit sideways, hands together on lap or to one side, dress management etc. I try and adopt a feminine walk as well, but not sure now effective this is.
There was a post recently about sleeping enfemme, and I can do this as we now sleep in separate bedrooms most of the time. So its bra, forms, long slip, and some panties and control underwear to keep the bits together.
My SO is quite happy to wash my femme clothes too, but although she regularly visits charity shops (op shops) she won?t look for anything for my femme alter ego. And she would not let me do any make up when she is around.
As I said, I am happy with this situation as I don?t go out enfemme (except for two car rides enfemme).
Vikky

[alwayshave]

Helen, I am the same person dressed or not.

[Cheryl T]

When I'm dressed I'm totally feminine. There is no sign of male.
I don't partially dress and always wear a wig (not by choice, but by genetics). My mannerisms are completely feminine. She is fully supportive and understands how I feel.

[chrissy111]

I've always been the same person. My wife says I always have had a strong feminine side.

[Raychel]

I am basically the same no matter how I am dressed.
Of course when I have heels on I do walk a bit differant.
But overall if I am dressed, I am just a guy in a dress.
It does not change my mannerisms at all.

[NancySue]

I?m basically the same dressed or not. When dressed, though, I do find myself primping a little more. I?m blessed with an accepting wife, who has no problem with what I wear or how I act for which I?m thankful. Being retired, I?m dressed most days, which includes hose whether with a skirt, skort, or shorts. She stopped wearing hose long ago and can?t understand how I can wear them daily. I just smile and reply, ?easy?.

[NatalieMN]

I am different as Natalie than my male self. And my partner can definitely tell. She has said that I am "softer" when dressed up and I feel a lot less brash, I suppose I could say. I know my posture and mannerisms change a little bit though I don't think it is a lot. It is more of a personality shift than anything else.