Therapy adventure

[Bea_]

I had a very good therapist for almost three years before she decided that she needed to go online only. She referred me to another therapist who shares the office suite with her. I'd interacted with the other therapist several times while presenting mildly femme and the lady seemed very warm and non-judgmental. I've been seeing this new therapist for five or six visits now and had an appointment yesterday.

My crossdressing was the major topic of my sessions with my former therapist and she'd seen me in various femme presentations including skirts and dresses. With the new therapist we've talked about other issues as well as the crossdressing and I've gone with mild presentations until yesterday. Yesterday I went wearing a really cute sundress with pretty much full femme presentation other than my beard.

I left my house wearing a tshirt and joggers over the dress and considered removing the outer clothes in the restroom of her office. But I pulled up to find her parking lot empty and had enough time to slip out of the pants and tshirt and put on some large hoop earrings and pearls. My legs are shaved and my sandals showed of some very bright pink toenails. I also had light makeup. I was nervous at the prospect of walking in from my vehicle dressed like that.

She pulled up and I waited for her to get to the door to unlock it before I got out of my van. She had her back to me as she checked the thermostat and made comments about how nice and cool it was in the office. It was after about ten or fifteen seconds inside that she turned around to seem me and her reaction couldn't have been more positive. "I like that! I mean I really like that!" I already loved the way I looked so getting the affirmation was amazing.

She made herself a cup of coffee and we small talked for a minute or two before she looked at her schedule and realized that my appointment was an hour later than I thought and that she had another client coming in. I mentioned waiting in my car for an hour and she encouraged me to just wait in the lobby. So, I did it.

Her client came in and seemed too distracted to even notice this guy sitting there in a dress. Another therapist who shared the suite came in a bit later and was warm and friendly. Apparently the second therapist specializes in working with children and a young mother brought her 5'ish year old son into the office. He walked in ahead of her and the stopped short and smiled and said "Hi". I smiled and said "Hi" and his mom directed him to a seat across the small lobby and read to him while they waited. There was no sense of tension before they were called back for their appointment.

I finally got to my real appointment and it went well. She was very encouraging, even suggesting that I should get out wearing the dress after the appt. That wasn't going to happen but the encouragement was nice.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like a good session Bea

[Sandi Beech]

Hi Bea,

I think many of us could use some of the acceptance you were feeling when your therapist gave you heart felt compliments. I have been going into mostly LGBT type bars for 8 years, and I have received a lot of that acceptance. It is quite addictive. It is hard to explain to others who have never had a chance to see how people react to our varied presentations. Granted it is not zero risk, since someone can hurt our feelings easily, but so far it has been worth going out and meeting people for me anyhow.

I am glad you made the leap of going to see her as the person you are. Nothing ventured , nothing gained.

Sandi

[docrobbysherry]

I found it odd that u discussed so much of your day leading up to the appointment. But, little about what u talked with her about, Bea?

I'm interested because my therapist and I talked about my CDing when I first began a zillion years ago. It lasted 10 minutes and went like this:

"So, what problems has your dressing caused for u and your family?"

"None so far. No one except my wife knows."

"Ok! Then, I don't consider your CDing a problem. Keep on doing whatever makes u happy. If it causes problems we'll talk about it. Now, let's move on to the serious issues I know u have with your wife."

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've had a number of therapists over the years.

I asked the first one about coming in en femme, and he strongly discouraged it.

The second one, I went in en femme randomly and always got a positive reception. I changed in the bathroom in her building.

The third one, I went in en homme for the first visit, and then I surprised her by being en femme for the second visit. I changed in one of the bathrooms in the office. I only saw her for a few months, but I dressed every time I saw her after the first visit. I used the opportunity to try one different outfits, from pants and a top, to skirt and a top, tp dresses. Once, I even wore a miniskirt that would make most teens self conscious.

The last one I went dressed each time. I changed in her office. She was the youngest of my therapists and had a nice boho sense of style. I tried copying a few of her styles. She always asked me if I was staying dressed after my appointment. The answer was always the same, "No, I'm going right to work after our appointment."

Therapy is supposed to be a judgement-free zone. If you're getting judgement from your therapist, you need a new therapist.

[Stephanie47]

I am sort of surprised at the lack of privacy in the waiting area. I know, it seems every talk show is yelling about the virtues of therapy (like on "The View") but I always have the impression most people do not want to run into people they know.

[Raychel]

That is awesome to hear Bea. A perfect visit totally accepting from everyone.
Must have really made you feel good and given you a boost.

Thanks so much for sharing your day with us. :) :) :)

[Bea_]

I found it odd that u discussed so much of your day leading up to the appointment. But, nothing about what u talked with her about, Bea?

I started therapy over some traumatic events in my life and dealt with those for over a year before adding crossdressing as more than a mention during sessions. After we'd felt we'd gone as far as we would get in addressing the events that took me to therapy, dressing became the major topic with the other topic(s) coming up as needed.

The initial motivation for therapy is far from resolved and in starting with the new therapist, I've had to bring her up to speed on how those things are affecting me. The crossdressing is somewhat intertwined with the other issues and the conversation goes back and forth. None of that is anything I'd discuss here on the forum. I'll pretty much stick to the crossdressing parts of therapy and may share some of the encouragement I get there.



The last one I went dressed each time. I changed in her office.

With my first therapist I began changing in her office while she waited in the lobby before starting. As time went on I sort of assigned myself some "exposure therapy" by walking the few steps from my vehicle to the door of the lobby and took my chances as to who might see me. I did wear dresses and skirts occasionally but mostly stuck to a more slightly femme androgynous look. I think that maybe twice other clients have seen me in skirts with femme tops. I've had slightly negative reactions but nothing major and I've come away feeling stronger, even with the negative responses.



I am sort of surprised at the lack of privacy in the waiting area. .

The office suite is small with up to four therapist each renting offices. The lobby is small and I've never seen more than one client, or a parent and child client in the small lobby at one time. I actually find the interaction, while en femme, in a fairly save environment to be a source of encouragement. I'm not sure how they could do it differently.

[CharlotteCD]

My therapist always insisted that you do not visit the property until 5 minutes before your appointment. This allowed time for the person before you to leave in privacy.

[BethanyCross]

When I was 14 in the 1970s, I told my mother about my crossdressing as I was afraid of what I was going on in my head. She set me up with a therapist. The first thing he did was put me on what I believe was Premarin to calm my sex drive. Purple pills and at every session he was checking to see if my breasts were growing. We had continuing sessions and he was always trying to get me to tell him what my ultimate turn on was. Well, at that time it was to get my hair permed. This was before men got perms. I never told him because I was worried about what saying the word 'permanent' would mean to him. These were the days of Christine Jorgenson. Anyway the sessions ended after about two years with him telling my mother I would grow out of it. Years later I saw a university Phd student psychiatrist and the school looked up this therapist. They concluded he was not very good, perhaps even a quack. I often wonder what would have happened back then if I had opened up more with this therapist and told him I wished I could get a permanent. Maybe a sex change?

[audreyinalbany]

Bethany...it sounds like you were one discussion away from sexual abuse....checking to see if your breasts were growing?????