My form of pink fog

[Bea_]

I took a while getting out of bed this morning (10 extra minutes or so) because my mind couldn't land on what I wanted to wear this morning. I finally just got up and went through a couple of items that were freshly laundered and waiting to be hung. I?d slept in white bikini panties and a coordinated bralette and chose to put on a fitted neon orange woman's t that clearly showed both the outline and the color of the bralette. I then decided to put a pair of black yoga pants with it and then the girl sandals that showed off my bright pink toenails. I added pearls and mascara.

I'm definitely a man and love that fact. I've got a man's face with a beard and strong brow line and have zero issues with those characteristics. I've also got a man's body and I'm good with that. I don't wear women's clothes because I want to look like a woman. I wear them because I like the way I look as a man wearing them.

That's the background, here's the dilemma... I've worn women's clothes for so long and so regularly that they've become normalized to me and I really feel zero sense of disconnect between what I like to wear and the fact that I am totally a dude. So, I'm wearing the things described above and I need to run some errands. My mind thinks I should just throw a purse over my shoulder and head out. My mind is lying to me. I know I have to change to more appropriate clothes to run the errands or face both the reactions of others and, more importantly, the shame that my wife would feel for having me out and about like that.

I?m seeing the world through pink colored glasses and feel totally cool just owning it. I take the glasses off and I realize just how isolating just owning it could be. That's what pink fog looks like to me...

[Rhonda Darling]

Well said. I believe I walk on the same knife edge. At 73 I can still go full on CD, but with age, look like a 6', 222# barely attractive woman ? or, I could go out with no wig, minimalist makeup, my pink tummy control panties, my flowered white short shorts, bra, breast forms, my gray/pink "Believe in the Power of You" t-shirt, earrings, 'diamond' engagement and wedding rings (gift from my fabulous wife), and purple strappy sandals. I'd be happy like that, but would embarrass my wife to no end, and risk confrontation that I may no longer be able to handle. The pink fog is forever tempting me to just do it.

[tmannref]

i think the pink fog thickens for us every day. I am on my second week of vacation an have dressed everyday untik the wife comes home from work (dadt). such a glorious feeling getting up and showering and then heading to my stash to see what i can put together. then i go out to the kitchen and see what tasks have been left for me to do and then will judge what adjustment need to be done to complete the tasks assigned without being outed.

[docrobbysherry]

Well explained, Bea. Your post was a wake up. Because unlike u I HATE the way I look as a MIAD!:thumbsdn:

I'm not happy unless I see a woman with not a bit of maleness in my mirror.:daydreaming:

So, it never occurs to me to just "throw on something female", or, "grab a purse", before I go out. It's either the whole 9 yards or nada. Thanks for reminding me what a lucky CD I am!:)

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I'm right there with you, Bea. I wear women's clothes (not really, they're mine) so much that it's often tough to remember that I should change for this or that. And my wife is so used to me wearing what I wear that she will sometimes forget that whoever's coming over might have a heart attack if I don't change out of that skirt or spaghetti strap tank

[SophiaRose]

Agree with you there docrobbysherry. My face needs to match the clothes as best I can. Otherwise the fog turns to dysphoria.

[CynthiaD]

Bea_: How ever you do it it’s cool.

As for me, I have no brow ridge and I have no Adam’s Apple, not even a little one. When I was younger, I was very slim and had prominent hips. I was an athlete and had big pecs that looked a little like boobs. Yeah, I’ve been in a lot of fights. But then, I was an athlete.

[bridget thronton]

I know the dilemma well Bea - it is hard to decide how far to push the dressing each day

[JayBird]

I like the way some feminine style clothes look on me too, but for me I feel like to be accepted in our society I need to look like a woman if it is a dress, so I feel like I need to wear a wig and makeup to pull it off. There are some fem items I feel are androgynous enough I can pull it off without. My skinny jeans or a colorful shirt. I?ve been wearing more necklaces that make me feel good, especially a silver chain my grandmother used to wear.

I think that it shows the spectrum of all of us with regard to our gender dysphoria. For some it is minimal to zero, and is almost 100% the clothes. For others it is truly being trapped in the wrong body. To pull out number totally subjective, I am probably a 3 of 10 in my pink fog, and many times a zero when I?m back in my blue fog?. Is blue fog a thing?

I really do like reading your self analyses, Bea. You are truly an inspiration for me in this cyber world.

[CarlaWestin]

Bea, I can understand. I've been out doing regular shopping and nearly forgetting the rather prominent forms in a bra I'd chosen for the day.

[Julie Frisky]

Hi Bea, I certainly understand as it is very rarely I get to go full dress mode, as I normally only have an hour or two, so most times it's just slipping on some tights and a skirt then on with the day, it just feels so natural and have nearly been caught on a few occasions.