Post CD depression?

[Jenn A116]

OK, so I'm a CD (yes, self described) and I only occasionally get to go out as my femme side. Perhaps 10 times a year. Last night was one of those nights and it was really fun. Was out with a small group of CDs, SOs and allies. Dinner and a show for 10 of us. As I said, great time.

But the question was posed by one of the other CDs, do you experience a depression, or perhaps something of a downer time, after having a night out? Once you get back and have taken off the girl, how is your mind set? Are you up because you had a great time? Are you down because you turned back into a pumpkin? Both?

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't get into a funk if I've just been out for a night. I'm still in a euphoric high from getting out in the first place.

But, the first time I went to the Keystone, I got dressed en male on Sunday morning, had breakfast with the girls (who were still girls) and the guys who had already reverted to boy mode like myself. Some of the attendees recognized me in my boy disguise and greeted me as Steffi.

I was really depressed for about a week afterwards. The second time I went it was the same thing. The third time I went, I planned for a "soft landing". I stayed in girl mode for breakfast Sunday and drove most of the way home en femme. I stopped to get coffee or lunch and I went shopping at an outlet mall or two on the way home. Ultimately, I changed into male mode about 30 miles from home.

I won't say that I wasn't a little depressed, but I successfully executed a "soft landing". I've done the "soft landing" approach everytime since.

Soft landing trivia

Autorotation is a state of flight in which the main rotor system of a helicopter or other rotary-wing aircraft turns by the action of air moving up through the rotor, as with an autogyro, rather than engine power driving the rotor. The most common use of autorotation in helicopters is to safely land the aircraft [soft landing] in the event of an engine failure or tail-rotor failure. It is a common emergency procedure taught to helicopter pilots as part of their training.

[Maria 60]

Jenn I will say at times just to undress as a closet dresser it is depressing at times. As much as we don't want the clock to strike twelve we have been programmed that all good things must come to an end. Of course it is very depressing but I have come to except I must pay a price for everyone else's happiness. It's a price we pay to keep peace in our family.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't have any depression and I attribute it to, let us say, "pleasuring myself" before undressing. ------------ Once the effect "hits", I cannot take the clothing, etc. off fast enough. The CD desire instantly dissipates and I am good for several days before the urge returns again. I can't imaging simply undressing when it is "time to". It would be like "hanging in space" still having "the urge", ---something left not completed. No wonder many CDers get depressed after a session. But of course there are several different types and drives for CD, so what might apply to me might not apply to everyone. But this is the was I see it and How I deal with ending a session.

[Debbie Denier]

Hi Jenn, I think most of us experience a downer when returning to drab mode. It is the opposite of the extreme high that is experienced when dressing.

[Julie Frisky]

Hi Jenn, I certainly get a downer when going back to male mode, but part of it for me as a closet CD is guilt, I have often purged after having a good time dressed as once back in male mode I feel guilt and frustration as not being able to dress openly so purge everything, saying to myself never dressing again but give it a month then I am back dressing and having to buy more clothes, I have learnt that purging gets very expensive, so now when on a downer I put my things in storage instead of getting rid of it.

[Raychel]

Not sure I would call it depression.
I definitely prefer to be dressed. and going back to guy mode is no fun at all.
But I don't really feel it is a depression.
More of a reality slap I guess, :heehee:

[Genifer Teal]

Back in the day it was sad to cut my long nails off after a week. That's about it.

[Stephanie Michelle]

I always have a "I wish it was a longer session." But the worst part is when I want nails, I glue them on. Don't like the sticky tabs because the usually don't last long and I like the feeling of permanency. So lately I haven't been putting on nails because of not enough free time since I started playing pickleball every day.

[SuzyZahn]

OMG, I`m so much as what Marina said! Scary but in a great way. One things for sure is I always look forward to the next and the next and the next time etc..

[Marketa]

For me it's definitely a downer. Since my male-self suffers from depression, it's returning from nice, calm, enjoyable world to dark and cold world.

But luckily CD is helping with the depression big time, so the returns are much less painful than it was at the beginning. And I've got something I'm looking forward to and usually part of the day is spent on thinking, what will I put on once I'm at home.

So it's sad when I have to go from me to drab mode, but with time I learned to be looking forward to my next session. And as I'm living alone the sessions are every day :)

[docrobbysherry]

I consider myself a closet dresser because I dress for vanilla venues. Just clubs, bars, and CD parties away from home. I dress so often I never feel that old complusion any more. So, I don't dress at home anymore unless it's for a photo shoot.:daydreaming:

When I get home after a long nite of walking, standing, and dancing in 4"+ spikes I can't get all the girdles, cinchers, wigs, shoes, and silicone prosthesis off fast enuff!:devil:

[CDJessica4U]

I always feel a little sad that I can't dress more often!

[Christina89]

I do feel a bit down when I got from women?s clothing back to my male clothing. Once I?m back in male clothes I wait for the time when I can be back in women?s clothing.

[alwayshave]

There is always a certain amount of of post CD depression Jenn. But every high has a corresponding low.

[SophiaRose]

Depressing would be too strong a word for me. I'm bummed out when I have to go back to drab and go to work. Lately I almost feel reluctant to make the switch. Painted toenails and some under-dressing makes an OK compromise however.

[JesseVF]

Yes Jenn I would say there is almost always a sad feeling if not really depressing after a cd time. Even after yesterday which I posted about getting a compliment and which was probably the fullest and most enjoyable day I ever had out in the world. I thought I would just pick up the next morning and continue that freedom, but yet I had no desire to cd at all. However now 12 hours later I?m on my balcony enjoying being dressed and feeling better! So guess we just have to muddle through.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Washing makeup off is somewhat depressing, because I never get to have it on more than a few hours, since I only dress fully at home. I often wear a clear or light pink nail polish, even in male mode, but for certain occasions I have to remove it - sometimes in a hurry, depending on who's coming over or will get together with unexpectedly. But the absolute worst is getting my hair cut. Over the past 4 years or so I've had it a few inches below my shoulders, but a couple of times I let my wife or daughter cut it, but then I was immediately sorry I let them do it! Last time was just about a month ago, when it was frizzy from humidity and even in a ponytail it puffed way out and I felt self-conscious, especially when I briefly traveled in an area of the country I thought wouldn't "take kindly" to someone like me (got lots of stares - NO femme or androgynous clothes or makeup, just the long ponytail). I could have added a 2nd holder, but that seems as feminine as the fluffy long hair. Oh well, I had my daughter cut about 4 inches off, but now I totally regret it - NEVER AGAIN!

[Kris Burton]

I wouldn't call it depression. It can be tough to return to my male self because I'm usually having so much fun. In fact, I'm usually on a high for a few days after an outing, already planning for the next one, working with photos I have taken and getting ideas for new ones. I do get a bit down if the next opportunity to dress is slow in arriving, but that would be the only time.

[Jenn A116]

Appreciate all that have taken the time to respond!

I'm basically a positive person so I wouldn't really say I get depressed. Instead I tend to focus on the fun I had while dressed. I also spend time planning for the next outing.

[Cheryl T]

it was a downer for a while when I began going out. I didn’t want it to end and when it did it was sad.
Now that’s not the case as I dress daily and when drab is necessary it’s ok. I know it won’t last so the tables have turned.

[NancySue]

Interesting question. My wife asked me the same question, which opened up a great discussion. Maybe I?m just a born optimist, but when I?m washing off my makeup etc. I have a sense of gratitude for my supportive wife and the enjoyment I just experienced plus the anticipation of my next dressing adventure. I believe, too, that because I dress, to some degree daily, reduces any negative thoughts. My daily planning what to wear, including last minute changes, is very enjoyable.