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MysteryWoman
08-19-2024, 12:04 PM
I seem to be in the minority when it comes to the question of whether Cders find the practice to be mostly relaxing or mostly sexually arousing. From everything I've read, the most common scenario is that even those who begin their journey with some element of sexual stimulation find that over time it becomes more about things like stress relief, relaxation, and expression of their feminine side.

Since the day I first encased my 11 year-old legs in my mother's Hanes nylons (in South Pacific shade) and experienced a spontaneous sexual response, for me it's always been about arousal and gratification. I rarely if ever have a session that doesn't end in you-know-what.

I wish it weren't so, because I do enjoy the other aspects of the experience and would like to enjoy them more fully. On those rare occasions when I have an extended opportunity to dress, I fantasize in advance that I will spend days luxuriating in my feminine finery. When the time comes, I dress and begin to enjoy and admire my femme side. But typically after an hour or two, I succumb to my primal urges and bring a sudden end to the session. And then, for hours or even days, I have no further desire to dress.

Thoughts anyone?

Kitty S
08-19-2024, 12:23 PM
For me my experience has been very similar. Dressing was initially just about sex, as soon as it was over off came everything. I would remove all evidence and think, I'll never do that again! A few days later the urge would return and the cycle would be complete. After a few months I began to keep my femme stuff on for a while, making dinner or watching a show. I would feel like it was a shame to waste the efforts getting ready to just remove it later on so I would stay dressed. Once I became more comfortable staying dressed I began to enjoy different aspects of being dressed. I started to enjoy being relaxed and felt at ease while in femme. My wife encouraged me to try full time and for a little over a month I would dress daily and not every day was a sex day lol. I still get aroused dressing but it isn't always about sex it's something more. We are all here for our shared interest in femme presentation/clothing but for different reasons, but we are all looking for validation and maybe a clue as to why me?

Bea_
08-19-2024, 12:48 PM
When I would try panties on my own, in the few months before I told my wife, my body responded virtually every time i put them on. Once she bought me a selection of panties and i began wearing them on a daily basis, it was just natural without a lot of sexual thoughts or feelings. As I began experimenting with yoga pants, women's top and then dresses and skirts, any sexual aspect of dressing was way in the background. The only time I ever really had any sexual excitement was in the days that I could still imagine my wife thinking I looked as good as I felt I looked. That fantasy wore off and dressing is just and indulgence to make me feel better. All in all I'm 95:5 (relaxation:excitement). But then I'm not sure I'd call it relaxation. I guess I feel calmer, but I also feel a sense of looking/feeling special which has a certain satisfying effect on my dopamine, even if it's not sexual. Nothing from my drab wardrobe does that.

Harriet14
08-19-2024, 01:33 PM
Arousal if I'm with my wife, relaxation too - even if just looking at my collection.

SuzyZahn
08-19-2024, 02:08 PM
I must agree with a lot of OG post. Early days it seems it was 90% arrousal. Currently (65+) its like 20 %. Its been a long interesting life understanding and accepting this otherside of `us`. At times ive despised it,others,,,i cant get enough,,such a quandry to be in. Oh well. Sites like this allow me to understand and accept being`me`. I`m lucky to have an accepting wife and shes allowed me most all times to accept my fem side . I think as one ages ,your dressing will become more about `being` than being sexual.Least its been that way for me. hope this helps.

Freddi
08-19-2024, 04:20 PM
It started off as curiosity....mainly because my mum often said she had wanted a girl....even had a girls name lined up before I was born. So I often wondered what it would be like to wear dresses etc. And yes in my teens I did often get aroused when dressing. But nowadays I find it more relaxing....apart from when my wife starts to fondle whilst I'm dressed then the inevitable happens. She has no objection to me dressing and knows I don't expect sex when I dress,if she fancies me whilst dressed then fine but I don't take it for granted she will. I find dresses,skirts & blouses more comfortable than male cloths.allthough I don't go out in public and only my wife knows.

Christina89
08-19-2024, 05:16 PM
When I first started dressing I did get sexually aroused. But after many years of dressing the sexual feeling fell off and then just became normal. Nowadays it?s more about being relaxed and less stress.

Stephanie47
08-19-2024, 05:58 PM
When teenage hormones started to rage there was a sexual component to dressing. Later in life it was (is) relaxing, stress relief. I believe if you "Google" the question you'll find self gratification is common among age groups of men.

alwayshave
08-19-2024, 06:10 PM
I started dressing at 4-5 years of age. So it wasn't sexual at that time. of course there was a point where it was. At this point it is just relaxing.

docrobbysherry
08-19-2024, 07:40 PM
I never have and never will consider dressing "relaxing". The day I do is the day I quit!:thumbsdn:

I find it stimulating and diverting. It clears my mind from the countless chatter that goes on in there normally!:battingeyelashes:

My first 10 years dressing were pretty much as u described, MW. But, since I began going out dressed and meeting folks about 20 years ago I've never been turned on even once when out! However, occasionally dressing at home alone that old urge strikes.:o

Julie Frisky
08-20-2024, 03:33 AM
Hi, not sure how to describe, I love the look and feeling of female clothing which I find so natural and calming when dressed but pantyhose a whole different matter for me as I have a huge passion for hosiery and if in the mood I find it very arousing.

HollyGreene
08-20-2024, 04:02 AM
Yes, I find it arousing, too. But if I'm preparing to go out for a walk or a drive, I'm not aroused. I just feel right dressing in whatever clothes I have chosen to wear. If I'm out driving or walking, no kind of arousal manifests itself - I just enjoy the idea that I am out presenting as a woman. When I'm walking, I love to see my shadow - the silhouette of the skirt or dress, and my hair, and it's a great feeling, but sexual thoughts are far from my mind.
When I get home, those feelings persist and it's not until much later that I might feel aroused.
If I take the arousal to its ultimate conclusion, I sometimes get the urge to divest myself. If I do, I end up putting on a different outfit maybe 10 to 15 minutes later. If not, I just stay as I am and life en femme goes on as normal.

Maria 60
08-20-2024, 04:29 AM
I'm not going to lie what you described is exactly how it was from the age what I believe seven or eight and up to I would say forty five fifty. I believe with age everything settles down and now I just do enjoy just relaxing and it's not all about the sexual finish. Don't get me wrong I still fantize that I'm that beautiful house wife of sexy secretary and the feeling of the pantyhose and slips still bring me back to my childhood feelings.

Hannah878
08-20-2024, 04:35 AM
So far (in my limited experience) for me it's been about the enjoyment (not sexual) of being able to express my feminine side, look pretty, and feel good. It's mostly about enjoyment, liberation, and I guess there is some stress relief in there too.

Kris Burton
08-20-2024, 04:41 AM
For me the overt sexual feelings have subsided, but I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy feeling sexy when I dress up. Relaxing? I wouldn't call it that exactly, more like refreshing to take on a persona that exists in the moment, without any of my personal baggage. Overall, I find the entire experience quite therapeutic actually.

Karren H
08-20-2024, 05:09 AM
At 7 I don’t think I knew what sexual feelings were, I just knew I liked to wear women’s clothing. Can’t say that sex never factored into it but I has been a very very small part. And as far as relaxing, not even close by if I want to relax I go hit the ice rink. Lol.

SaraLin
08-20-2024, 05:30 AM
I'm not sure I can describe this properly, but here goes.

For me, I've learned that my sexuality (my interest in, or desire for sex) is at least a little bit tied to my feelings of femininity.
I'm a more "frisky" woman than I am a "horny" man.
So it's no real surprise that in my raging-hormones days, dressing femme had a rather predictable outcome. But for me, it wasn't about the clothes.
It was more about feeling like I could be the desired one, rather than the desirer. (I fantasized about being made love to, no the other way around.)

BUT - this is a side effect. It's not really the reason I dress.
The thrill, excitement, or whatever you want to call it, is not as important to me as the feeling of being able to just be myself for at least a little bit - in at least a small way.

Clear as mud?
Thought so.

kimdl93
08-20-2024, 05:51 AM
Pre-adolescent me was not aware of sexuality and arousal. By contrast, as a teen, pretty much anything associated with girls was arousing. Small wonder that when cross dressing acquired a sexual association once overlapped with raging teen hormones. As many have observed, the association persisted, but dampened with maturity. Even in the absence of sexual arousal, cross dressing has continued to elicit a positive feeling.

The brain may not particularly care what causes a dopamine surge, whether its listening to music, jogging, hitting a the jackpot on a slot machine, enjoying a beverage, getting a buzz, or transforming ones appearance. In that respect, this can be addictive. I suppose it becomes problematic if one is depressive and continuously seek out and escalate that feeling to escape a dopamine low. The cycle of highs and lows can have adverse consequences, and to be honest, I can see that in my own behavior over time. Perhaps others do as well.

Genifer Teal
08-20-2024, 05:56 AM
I think the smoothness and tightness of some clothing and throw in a little bit of taboo; how could our younger selves not be aroused? Especially during a time when we were aroused so often and so easily. It is a normal response which many have made a lasting connection to.

Ashlee
08-20-2024, 06:23 AM
It was incredibly arousing at a young age, you could bend steel around…”it”. It waned but is now more comfortable and normal but a recent purchase of Wolford pantyhose has swung the pendulum back the other way, I’ve never experienced a hands free until sliding those on, I’m sold on them now!

SophiaRose
08-20-2024, 07:10 AM
Prior to and while dressing, yes, aroused. Once I'm engaged in an activity however the arousal subsides. I wouldn't say it's relaxing however. I'm keenly aware of what I'm wearing, always glancing at mirrors, and am in a heightened state of being. As others have mentioned, with age has come dissipating CD associated arousal. I actually welcome it however because I rather like being dressed for long periods and being aroused is an impediment.

CarlaWestin
08-20-2024, 08:02 AM
In the early stages it was scandalous adventure to actually dress and experience the tactile feedback that I was told was only for my sisters and girls.
Of course, once fully into dressing, I was the female I was allowed to be with, admire and touch. To this day, it's an elevated state of arousal awareness.
I do sleep heavenly in a nighty with forms so I guess there is a relaxation element.

Raychel
08-20-2024, 08:05 AM
Definitely relaxing for me. Not much more to say about it right now for sure.

StephanieLake
08-20-2024, 08:55 AM
In the beginning, there was arousal. As soon as I slipped on a silky nightgown or pair of panties, I had a reaction. As time has gone on, that rarely happens anymore. I just feel good when I dress up. I like both reactions, but the latter makes me happier.

Michaela Jane
08-20-2024, 09:38 AM
I wasn't bitten by the crossdressing bug until I was around 50yrs old, so I can't claim that I ever had a sexual response to any of my dressing. 20+ years on, all I can say is that it feels "normal" for me to be dressed and my wardrobe and underwear drawer reflect that, no male underwear, just panties, plenty of bras, femme jeans, a number of skirts & dresses, leggings, shorts, pantyhose etc....etc....
My old male wardrobe has shrunk considerably, mainly because I don't wear it, so it's all gone to goodwill. Except for my funeral suite that is. :heehee:

Vale
08-20-2024, 09:49 AM
For me it can be both. It depends. Sometimes when the excitement rises and the tension is released my CD event is not over. My dress & bra remain and in a few minutes the relaxation returns with a slightly different flavor. ? vale

Breezy
08-20-2024, 09:51 AM
Started as aroused, much like you with the early introduction to Hanes pantyhose, and silk slips.
I?ve grown to be able to purely have a feminine experience but, the arousal still comes everytime, even if I?ve been dressed for a few hours I?ll move or shift, catch a glimpse and I?m right back to aroused!

SometimesNatalie
08-20-2024, 10:06 AM
It's still both for me, but over the years it's shifted more towards relaxing. If I'm out at a PFLAG meeting, or shopping, or having dinner with friends it's relaxing and comfortable. The feelings of arousal only happen at home when I start paying more attention to how I look in the mirror - I'm just not thinking like that while my brain's engaged and I'm doing things.

I still haven't gotten completely comfortable with the arousal side of it, though. There's still some shame attached to that even though I've taken huge steps in embracing the fact that this is part of who I am. Still a difference between thinking and feeling there, even if it is only momentary.

SylphDevine
08-20-2024, 12:54 PM
For me it's an incredible mixture of feelings. I really take my time putting on each article of clothing and sometime spontaneously hands free once or twice before i even finish getting dressed. In the past once I finished I'd be done and remove everything on go on with my life until the fog came on again.

These days, just looking at myself in the mirror causes a spontaneous event, and that seems to be when I calm down after and feel lovely staying dressed, mostly because I can be that way when my wife is around. Intense feelings of pleasure and acceptance, and then just the way all the clothing feels.

It's just divine in every way. I have got to figure out a way to blend my clothing so I can wear whatever I want wherever I want, because this male when out female when in just isn't working for me anymore.

NancySue
08-20-2024, 03:40 PM
Like some others, my experiences are three- fold, when young, 5-6, slipping on nylons, panties, etc. was pleasure/comfort, from teens on, became pleasure to arousal back to pleasure. Now, as I?m dressed to some degree daily , it?s mostly comfort-pleasure, looking good going out. It?s been a wonderful sojourn.

Larissa Cassandra
08-21-2024, 01:59 AM
As I've said elsewhere, I'm lucky to have a supportive wife, so I can dress every day to varying degrees. I usually wear a femme top and skirt or leggings, or on a warm day a sundress, and a little lipstick and perfume (at home only, so far). If I had been able to do this when I was a lot younger, I would have had similar erotic experiences as Sylph describes. OK, maybe not twice in one dressing session, but for sure every time getting dressed up. In fact, I did get aroused every time I had the opportunity to dress or put on makeup in my younger years, even though I only had a few femme items at my disposal, and I only played around with them rarely. Now, as age has taken its toll on my libido, I usually just feel relaxed and have fun with my dressing. But every once in a while, while lying in bed in my silky nightie and pettipants in the morning before I get up, and I start thinking about what I can wear during the day, and I feel the lovely material on my shaved legs, it gets me excited. So then as I'm dressing, I have to "pause" to take care of it before I'm completely dressed. Then I'll just enjoy the resulting relaxation effect, even though I'm busy doing things around the house. Also, sometimes after I've been fully dressed for the evening, before I completely wash off my makeup I'll experiment and practice with different makeup looks and hairdos, and I feel very sexy and get very aroused just seeing myself in the mirror. Then after resolving the tension, so to speak, I can go to bed and sleep very soundly!

MysteryWoman
08-21-2024, 07:14 AM
As the Original Poster, I have to say I have been overwhelmed by the honesty, frankness, and intelligence with which so many have responded. I can't imagine there would be a forum anywhere else that stimulates people to share their most intimate feelings in such a thoughtful and classy way.

danniUK
08-21-2024, 10:06 AM
I was much like the OP from mid teens to mid 40s.
What an absolute sexual thrill dressing was to me!
Then I (finally) realised that the arousal came from feeling/looking feminine, this other side to me that had always had to stay hidden. Of course I felt aroused when I was dressed - it was like I was exploring a completely new "me", exploring a completely new body. And we all remeber what a thrill it was when we first started exploring our own bodies at puberty, when everything was new - right?
I eventually realised that dressing up allowed me to feel like the complete version of myself - masc and femme together - and the arousal was just a (albeit very natural) part of that.

Bear in mind too that, at least for me, I *do* feel sexiest in women's clothes, after all almost all of them are designed to look sexy whereas guys get some shirts, tshirts, trousers and a choice of dull shoes or trainers (sneakers if you prefer!)
Why on earth wouldn't I feel sexier in a figure hugging little dress with heels?!

Cheryl T
08-21-2024, 11:10 AM
it didn?t begin as sexual when I was 5 and had no idea of sex. Puberty changed that and the sexual component roared to life. That lasted a long time but eventually changed and now is rarely part of it.

steffigirl37
08-23-2024, 04:17 AM
I?ll admit at 68+ I still get very aroused with any aspect of women?s clothes and dressing. Although over the years I have learned to relax with it particularly with my wife?s presence when we are enjoying a quiet evening.

Kate Jennings
08-26-2024, 01:54 AM
I started putting on femme attire at such an early age, I didn't even know what sex was. All I knew was I had a drive to wear it, and it felt so stimulating. As I reached my teens, I felt both relaxed and excited in women's wear--In those days, my motivation was almost entirely sexual. I think in many ways, I was creating the type of woman I wanted to be with.

As I got older, let's say my 30's and beyond, I still received a major sexual thrill from dressing but, I found my dressing was more about actually being the woman I had created. By that age, I realized with the right clothing, attention to makeup and proper comportment, I could project a feminine image that was in line with the way I felt inside. Thereafter, my dressing wasn't only about sex, it was about being the woman within. That's how it has continued until today.

Lorna
08-26-2024, 04:28 AM
As others have said, originally arousal was automatic. As time went on, though, I was sometimes annoyed that dressing was quite a brief (pardon the pun) experience because I really wanted to enjoy being dressed for longer and being able to do more things while dressed - and finding out much more about what it was really like to wear women's clothes in practical situations. I continued to experience arousal but I managed to discipline myself to avoid arousal being the end point of a dressing session and could then stay dressed (and even switch outfits so as to experience the differences) without arousal bringing it to a sudden end.

CDMargret
08-26-2024, 07:41 AM
Hi. I started with Mom's nylons as I just loved the look and feel of them. Then my sisters ballet outfits. I was very very young. 5 or so. Wasn't sexual then. I just liked wearing the clothes. In my teens I was to busy to even think about dressing. Cars and boy chasing girls stuff. The 80's happened. Oh how I loved the way the girls could dress. I found clothes and loved the looks on me and now and then happy ending would occur but I would want to put something else back on. Has always been that way. I don't want to take whatever it is off. Dressing up whether leotard with tights or in dresses (and of course tights), fills me with happiness. Take them off and it's like I am starving for the moment I can get back into them. Been like this my whole life.

But here is something new. I am married. 17 years. She has been the most supportive girl ever. Known about and helps me dress from our first few months married. I know she likes a manly man look. So recently I go all out dressing very manly once in a while because I know it's what she wants and desires. This excites me cause this excites her. Rocks her world and I love the excitement she has about how I am dressed. So it's kinda backwards I wanna say. I mainly dress femme and get excited about dressing manly for her. Crazy right.

Jane G
08-26-2024, 09:47 AM
Usually it's just very normal. Always has made me feel more me and that adds relaxation. Of course I get aroused some times when dressed, just as when I am not dressed. Other factors apply. That is just part of the human gene ohm, built in to evey man and woman ever born. The 80's Margeret, now those were good times. Still the best music ever produced for dancing to.

KymG
08-26-2024, 04:18 PM
Its both relaxing and arousing. Its mainly a need to relax, i find it easier when dressed but it can then become arousing aswell.

SissyHema
08-26-2024, 05:42 PM
It's more relaxing than arousal now. A feeling of calmness and belonging. I remember when I was in my late teens, my girlfriend then used to love dressing me totally "en femme" using her clothes and make up. She would be so aroused which in turn would make me aroused.

Giddy
08-27-2024, 06:49 AM
If I haven’t dressed en femme for a long while, it’s always instantly arousing and sexual for the first hour or so, leading to the inevitable peak. After a while, I settle down to appreciate the look and feel of my femme clothing. If I manage to dress regularly (every few days), the experience is more about the look, feel, comfort, and appreciating and expressing my inner (usually hidden) female self.

Lacey New
08-27-2024, 07:13 AM
When I first put on a pair of panties it was instant arousal and was that way for many years. It was actually rather addictive as while I found that panties were wonderful, adding other lingerie and eventually even some outerwear was even more arousing. Now in my later years, the arousal is much less and it is simply just pleasant feeling.

Georgina
08-27-2024, 03:00 PM
Totally relaxing. I have a good friend that I visit enfemme and I am really relaxed around her and she enjoys the company.

DianeT
08-28-2024, 02:17 AM
It's always arousing for me to dress in female clothes (I define it more aptly as troubling). It sends so many cues ringing bells to the heterosexual CDer I am. And my dressing started for sexual reasons when I was a child. But it immediately developed in something more complex, the experience of dressing as a woman and the sensations associated with it being a new world to explore, making me want to spend extended hours in that state of bliss. And this stuck. Over the last dozen of years, as I switched to less fetishist and more real life attires, the experience became even much richer. But the erotic subtext is always present, and this only makes sense as I don't identify as a woman.

CDJessica4U
08-28-2024, 09:56 AM
I started wearing my moms panty hose when I was probably 5 or 6 and thinking back, it was definitely a rush of arousal tho it was a few more years before I understood what that was. Now, its still a rush of arousal but I also LOVE being glamorous in ways that a man dressed cannot. Most times I dress, I'm aroused whether it produces a physical change or not. I don't think I've ever dressed without being aroused even if just in my mind. I'm 58 next month and still have a very high libido.

Snide_lobster
08-28-2024, 06:24 PM
six here half a dozen there. In short, the best way to describe it is sensual and arousing, but not exclusively sexually. Is there a fetishistic component, no doubt, but it also shares the general excitement/adrenaline rush of other completely nonsexual hobbies and activities (I've gotten similar bursts of excitement venturing into the world of model train building or going into a sporting race and I'm pretty darn confident those are benign activities), and at times soothing (although I'm not sure I'd ever say relaxing). Calling it either a hobby or a fetish (exclusively) is necessary but very much incomplete.

Rhonda M.
08-28-2024, 09:40 PM
There was a time when it was always about arousal. Getting dressed was essentially a form of foreplay. Lately I've been wearing panties to bed every night and when the weather gets cooler I will add a pair of leggings, not for arousal but because it feels nice and comfortable.

I will still put on certain lingerie and outfits for arousal purposes but it is no longer 100% for that reason.

Monique65
08-29-2024, 06:18 AM
Dressing was a very large part of my sexual experience for many years. With my wife’s acceptance, however, the erotic feelings have abated, replaced with a calm serenity of being who I feel is my true self. It’s as if the taboo of dressing was the main sexual attraction.

Meg
08-29-2024, 07:27 AM
There was definitely a fetish/arousal aspect to dressing for me when I was young. Today I find it has a calming effect. I just feel so good and relaxed when I am able to don a skirt, hose and top or other styles. Nothing can compare to coming home from a days work in heavy, dirty industry and finding time to dress softly. And now that I am retired, nothing compares to finding time to dress softly. Hugs, Meg

RoseReve
08-30-2024, 01:22 PM
Hmmm Relaxing or Arousing?
At first glance I would say: Do you have three hours of free time in front of you!?:heehee:
At second:
Yes/No
No/Yes
Yes/Yes
No/No
and many other things...!!
And at third glance: weird how I feel much more anxious to answer this kind of question, same with the "str8, gay, bi" topic...10 years ago I would have written a novel to explain it, but now...It has become maybe too serious and too intimate for me to explain it in details in front of many people, as supportive as they can be.
Maybe in a PM! Or maybe in a part of the forum less open to a wide audience...
Please do not blame me for this. That's just the way I feel about it.
Cheers, have a nice time,
Rose

Jessica Secret
09-02-2024, 04:27 AM
It's always been both for me, I started dressing in my teens wearing beautiful/romantic lingerie to bed (which I still do!) and I have a boyfriend which needless to say makes things even more sexual for me because I am truly in the girly role in our relationship. Beautiful lingerie is so feminine and gorgeous to wear, and you can imagine the arousal for both of us when I go to get ready for bed every night.