Unexpected benefits of crossdressing

[CynthiaD]

I was reflecting over my cross dressing journey and I realized that something unexpected happened when I finally embraced my cross dressing.

In male mode I always felt like a fake. Despite having lived an Uber-macho life, I was always inwardly unsure of myself. Once I embraced crosssressing, I realized that my male persona WAS all fake. That made things so much easier. I love being an actress pretending to be male. I can now tune it up to exactly the right point. Before, I was always overdoing it. I still, occasionally feel the macho side of me, but in a female way. Women can be tough too, and that?s how I feel. I love it.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I have never felt "Fake", but it was not until I was CDing that I realized that a male was held to certain "standards" of action in a wide range of activities, attitudes, etc. But, in fem mode, I do not have to worry about ANY of that stuff. This releases the stresses about being "manly" (or not) in life and helps me totally be "free" and relax. This de-stressing is further enhanced by also , effectively becoming "Another person" who is "NOT ME", Thus I can also drop the worries and obligations associated with my normal life and FURTHER relax. There is also the fun feeling of "being pretty".

[SophiaRose]

I can relate to the feeling of being an imposter. In the company of others Ive always felt like I needed to adapt my true persona to fit in. Only recently have I accepted my true self as somewhere on the dual gender spectrum and am trying to figure out how to let this person emerge without freaking out my friends and family. I still feel like I need to tread carefully. A work in progress for sure.

[Bea_]

My father was most influential of my idea of what I'd be as a man, but he was not traditionally masculine. I'd never call him feminine and I'm sure he'd be horrified to have known that his oldest son turned out to crossdress. So, I ended up being a loner, much because I never learned any "man rules". I had an artistic sense that most men have no interest in and never had a personal interest in what most men deemed to be important. I never learned to fake masculinity. As a result I think many have wondered about my sexuality over my lifetime, starting as a kid. I'm totally heterosexual as well as naturally monogamous.

The masculinity I always had, i still have. It's been expanded to include an aesthetic that is personal to me. I love so many of the things that women have claimed as their own and am slowly becoming more comfortable allowing myself to enjoy them and allow others to see small displays of that enjoyment. I still love my beard. I love having long hair. But, I also love my shaved legs and painted toenails and many other things considered to be exclusively feminine.

I was never all that great at faking masculinity.

[oh to be rachel]

This imposter syndrome strikes me hard.
Each time I've crossdressed, my brain is saying go further. This is where you belong.

[Marketa]

I wanted to write my own experience, but Marina already did it :)

To expand: my unexpected outcome is that I appreciate more women's outfit and when it looks good. When getting dressed as a man, it's "take the one from the top" attitude, but as a woman I really put some thought into it. So since I started CD I compliment my colleagues dress/earrings/skirt... I know these girls for years, so I know I can compliment them without any issue.

[Cheryl T]

Similarly I always felt that didn’t really belong as a male. It was awkward in some circumstances and I’ve always felt more confident and comfortable as a woman.

[docrobbysherry]

As someone who never thot about trying on women's things until I was 50, I had no issues or questions about being a man until then.:eek:

Then, it took me over 10 years to find out I'm not trans, just a CD at best!:straightface:

What I love about dressing is being a homely old man able to present as a pretty, younger woman!:battingeyelashes:

Thru all of this I can't say I've ever felt either strongly male or female. I've always just felt like ME!:heehee:

[Fiona_44]

I was also very unsure of myself as a male but am now sure that living as a trans woman is the better version of me.

[chrissy111]

Being able to be me.

[GaleWarning]

Oddly, perhaps, I've always felt Human - neither male, nor female, not non-binary, not bi, not ...

Simply whole and complete, no matter how I am presenting. Just me.

[GracieRose]

When I was young, I was constantly told "boys don't sit like that, boys don't giggle like that, boys don't walk like that" etc. when I just did what came naturally. Since boy behavior didn't come naturally to me, I observed how the boys did things and adopted some of those mannerisms. I wasn't aware that these came naturally to the boys, and I assumed that everyone else was faking it as much as I was. Many of the behaviors that I observed I didn't adopt because they were just too foreign to me. I adopted enough mannerisms to fly under the radar, so to speak, but not enough to fit in. I could see that that I fit in with the girls but wasn't allowed to hang out with them. I could also see that I didn't fit in with the boys, so I became much of a loner. It wasn't until more recently, when I found out that I was not unique and others, such as yourselves, were much like me that I realized that I was faking it all those years and that is why it never felt right.
I am allowing some of those natural behaviors to slip back into my persona, and it does feel so much better and less stressful. I have to agree with Cheryl that I feel more confident and comfortable as a woman, and happier!

[DianeT]

Interesting (because unusual) insight on mannerisms. Even for individuals without a natural inclination to "feminine" (normatively considered as feminine) mannerisms, "masculine" mannerisms aren't natural either, it's all education and learned habits, and also require some level of effort.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I just totally enjoy having the BEST of both Worlds,

[Kris Burton]

I don't think I ever felt like an imposter or a fake in male mode, but I do know I felt a draw toward certain male norms or standards over the years. I no longer worry about such things.

[Raychel]

Funny you should say that.
When in guy mode, I always feel I dont fit it.
I am constantly second guessing what I am doing and what I am saying.
I feel like I am being looked at and judged all the time.

When I am dressed at home everything just feels right.
Hard to explain, but that is how I feel.

The few times I have stepped out I feel judged and looked at all the time as well
I wonder if I went out more often if that would change.

I have a plan in my mind to dress pretty for a long drive Monday and Tuesday.
Maybe that will help. :)

[kitten kaboodle]

I have to say a new benefit of cross dressing is find this forum where I feel a kinship with all of you to read and post thoughts I am not able to with my trad friends. It all feels so light and lively, thanks to all.
I had a trad male life with a sort of b

- - - Updated - - -

Oops interrupted by my clumsy fingers!
What benefits I noticed as unexpected is the care and attention I pay to little things like personal grooming and skin care, how I move differently in a dress , how I speak and act more gently even my dancing has a more graceful flow to it and a sassiness that has a feminine flavour.
The man is still here but he now has a lovely companion and we get along swimmingly, my only little problem now is how to introduce them both to the big wide world. hiho!

[kimdl93]

When I was young, I was constantly told "boys don't sit like that, boys don't giggle like that, boys don't walk like that" etc. when I just did what came naturally. Since boy behavior didn't come naturally to me, I observed how the boys did things and adopted some of those mannerisms. I wasn't aware that these came naturally to the boys, and I assumed that everyone else was faking it as much as I was. Many of the behaviors that I observed I didn't adopt because they were just too foreign to me. I adopted enough mannerisms to fly under the radar, so to speak, but not enough to fit in. I could see that that I fit in with the girls but wasn't allowed to hang out with them. I could also see that I didn't fit in with the boys, so I became much of a loner. It wasn't until more recently, when I found out that I was not unique and others, such as yourselves, were much like me that I realized that I was faking it all those years and that is why it never felt right.
I am allowing some of those natural behaviors to slip back into my persona, and it does feel so much better and less stressful. I have to agree with Cheryl that I feel more confident and comfortable as a woman, and happier!

I totally relate to GracieRoses observations. Even at a very early age I was apparently not always behaving like a boy and I got the message that feminine behavior was not acceptable. I suspect that both feeling disapproval and faking probably contributed to the depressive moods that plagued me through much of my life.

[Brynna M]

Seems like many of us had to choice of fakery or isolation. That would never mess anybody up…..

[alwayshave]

I don't feel like an imposter. I was always comfortable with both boys and girls.

[NancySue]

Ditto with Jamie. Life?s too short. Enjoy.

[SissyHema]

The Unexpected benefits of crossdressing for me is a wonderful feeling of relaxation and happiness. In my male mode, I am on a "high tone", stressed and high blood pressure individual but totally opposite in my female mode.

[Rachel Anne]

When I first started, the unexpected benefit was the discovery of how much better girl clothes fit. I always had a hard time finding clothes that fit correctly. I went through a period of time where I had to wear suits, and if I didn't do a custom suit, anything I found that was worth anything I had to have heavily tailored. Anything off the rack fit me like a sack, and it was a pain, and pretty expensive.

Right after I dipped my toe, I splurged and got a nice Ann Taylor suit, as I always liked their line of clothes. Along with the suit I bought a blouse and shoes. The feeling of wearing clothes that fit correctly out of the box was a revelation, and was a part of what set me on my path.

I still have that suit, and it still looks great.

[CarlaWestin]

I've always emulated as male and considered myself as alpha male. But, definitely not uber male. As others were obsessed with sports competition, I always thought it was pointless and prefered more creative and intellectual pursuits.
And things of beauty like nature, flowers, fashion and cars. My CDing is an extension of that. When I read the OP my first thought was that I stay trim, healthy and fit so my girl clothes fit better. And something I've noticed with all my buds that are around my age is they all seem to be having knees and hips needing replacement from mindless sports competition in their youth.

[Lilly Diadem]

In my personal space I'm doing my best to see myself more as 'just me' these days without social constraint of gender stereotypes.
I am happy doing things that I enjoy and am trying to do those things as much as possible regardless of whether they are traditionally seen as masculine of feminine although it is not always realistic.

I do enjoy wearing clothes and shoes seen as female but I'm not one for long hair and I'm not bothered othered about makeup any more; I only did this to become passable in the past and no amount of makeup is gonna make me look fem these days even if I wanted to!


.... I also love my shaved legs and painted toenails and many other things considered to be exclusively feminine. .... I love these two things too and don't have an issue with it being part of everyday me although it isn't at the moment.

I've had pierced ears since my late teens and whilst I never wear earrings on a day to day basis I adore the feel of them when I'm dressed.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm pretty content in living in both worlds or in either world.

As a boy, I was uber boy. I was into all sports, baseball, (American) football, basketball and even hockey. And I played those sports, even more than I watched them. Many people here comment on being the last one picked when picking teams. In my age group, I was usually one of those who did the picking, due both to my skill at the sport and team leadership.

But then, when I was about 12, I developed this little twist about liking to wear my mom's panties, girdles and bras. I occasionally dipped into her lipstick and tried on her jewelry, including rings, bracelets and clip-ons. I was very ashamed about this "little twist" and kept it very buried for decades, even though I kept coming back to it. I was a real-life split personality.



The Unexpected benefits of crossdressing for me is a wonderful feeling of relaxation and happiness. In my male mode, I am on a "high tone", stressed and high blood pressure individual but totally opposite in my female mode.

I totally understand what you are saying and feeling, but I'm wondering if you've every taken a blood pressure in jeans vs in a dress. I feel that I'm less intense and more demure en femme, but I've never thought of checking my blood pressure. I'm going to put it on the "To Do" list.

[SylphDevine]

I don't know about anyone else, but my BP is ALWAYS 10 to 20 points higher when dressing and it stays that way while dressed (I've checked). It comes back down when I go back to boy mode.

[Veronica Lacey]

That's quite the epiphany, Cynthia.

I am male - I like being a man - but certainly enjoy and find a sense of normalcy in dressing feminine. As I hide this part of my personality from the world I often feel incomplete and wish for more opportunity to do so at least at home. I don't feel like an imposter while in male mode; I just feel that I'm missing out on expressing more of who I feel that I am.

[missjoann49]

I love who I am and who I have become

[Jessica Secret]

I've never felt "fake" in male mode but I obsessively love being in girl mode. :)

[Cassie2024]

My unexpected benefit to dressing is the euphoria releasing my masculine side brings me. Having men and women look at me and respond to me as female. When I came out to the two CISmales first as gay, then as gender fluid was liberating for me. One of the men is gay like me and was not surprised. He encourages and helps me purchase clothes and other items. The other was one of my former partners when i was a police officer. He was not surprised or shocked either. i sort of thought he would take it well. He doesn't understand it as well as my friend who is gay, but he is accepting.

[Claire M]

Dressing has always been relaxing for me. Getting dressed there has always been the anxiety of what to wear, and the fear of being caught. But once dressed it's like the clouds lift and I'm relaxed. I told my therapist that I dressed to relax. She posed the question whether some of the stress in my life was due to NOT dressing. SylphDevine mentioned her BP went up 10 points when dressed. Mine actually goes DOWN!!!

Dressing has also been a motivation for eating well and keeping in good physical shape. I so want to be a consistent size 14!!

[AmandaCD2023]

I have seen an analysis of Batman. He considers his Batman mode to be his true self and Bruce Wayne as the mask that he must wear in order to function day-to-day in society.