Coming out due to wearing an anklet

[Misty_cder]

During this summer drought of dressing, and having a deep lack of pink fog, I wore an anklet today as I drove into the office hoping it might give me some inspiration to dress when I get the chance again. I have done this before and typically take it off when I hear fellow employees enter our suite. I am usually the first one in the office. Today I got in earlier than normal and started addressing major issues on a deliverable that is due to a client tomorrow. I got into a ?zone? and didn?t hear the suite door open. There is a fellow manager who normally gets in early too. Seeing my office light on, he stopped to say hi. When he said Hello, it startled me and I jumped in my seat. In doing this, my left leg which had the anklet must have become visible under the desk. The beginning of our conversation was catching up on project related items. He then asked me about my jewelry. At first I wasn?t sure what he was talking about, and then it hit me. I must have turned so red because my face felt like it was burning. He laughed at my reaction and said he didn?t think of me as someone who would wear an anklet. This manager is gay and has a great personality so after I regained my composure, I was comfortable telling him I identify as being apart of the LGBT community as a man who emulates women. He thanked me for having the courage to share this with him.

I have taken chances in the past with my dressing like shaving all my body hair or wearing unisex clothing that leans more towards being feminine. Wearing an anklet in public is an other risk for exposure and I finally got caught. The funny thing is being discovered gave me more courage to own the fact I enjoy dressing as a woman. I kept the anklet on all day as other staff arrived and I?m sure some noticed. This isn?t opening the flood gate of dressing in public, but it defiantly cracked open that closet door a bit more.

[Chrishearne]

Absolutely, there's nothing wrong with that at all! Everyone has the right to express themselves in a way that feels authentic and true to who they are. Wearing women's clothing, or any clothing that makes you feel comfortable and happy, is a valid form of self-expression. Embracing what makes you unique is something to be proud of, and it?s important to live your life in a way that feels right to you. You?re not alone in your journey, and there?s a whole community out there that supports and celebrates diversity in all its forms.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, sometimes an accidental revelation like that can help us find acceptance from others and courage in ourselves. It can be like a damn breaking!

I recall unintentionally outing myself to a female co-worker by a simple slip of the tongue. I was washing clothes when I got her call. she asked what I was doing, and I thoughtlessly/spontaneously said something to the effect that I had just washed and hung my nylons to dry. She laughed and I could have passed it off as a joke, but something moved me to say, no seriously. A long conversation ensued, I shared some pictures, she gave me some eye shadow and in the months following we went out on GNOs with another colleague that she brought into the secret. I have never regretted it.

On another occassion, I was working from home for a week and had just had acrylic nails applied when I remembered I had a meeting with a female colleague. After a little thought, I decided I wasn’t going to ruin my nails so soon after having them applied, so I went to our meeting en femme. She was unfazed and we handled the business side of the meeting, the addressed the obvious questions. Again, amazingly supportive.

That meeting ended just after 1 pm, so rather than just go home, I called another woman I had worked closely with in recent months and asked if she wanted to meet me for coffee. Instead she invited me to her house. I casually mentioned that I was dressed a bit differently. I recall her laughing and asking if I was wearing a tux. No, I explained, just a peach top and white knit skirt. Her response was an enthusiastic “Come on over!!” We talked all afternoon about this part of myself and it cemented our friendship. We went out for lunch, dinner and drinks many times after that.

[docrobbysherry]

Your choice to be found out it sounds like, Misty?:o

U could just as easily have blown it off as playing with your daughter/granddaughter/niece, etc. if u really didn't want to him to know!:heehee:

[Kris Burton]

I think sometimes we do things subconsciously to reveal ourselves when we find it too hard to do it consciously. In any case, you're secret is revealed and you have benefited from it. Kudos to you and for the progress you have made!

[Heather76]

If I make a mistake and inadvertently out myself to someone else, I will own it. I will not lie about it as I've proven to myself on one occasion. A lady who works where I volunteer saw me buying a dress 20 miles from my home. I didn't see her. The next time I saw her, she asked how my wife liked the dress and also if I bought clothing for my wife very often. I told her the dress was for me as I enjoy CDing. She has been very accepting, and we have become better friends than before. While someone may not care for the fact I CD, if they ask about it, they will not be able to question my integrity and truthfulness. I just hope I don't give people a reason to ask me if I CD.

[JoyceAnn]

Misty_cder, kimdl93, and Heather76, it sounds like you all had great outcomes. I'm glad it worked out for you all. I love reading about experiences like this! Enjoy to the fullest!

[Debs]

Misty it happens, over the years when i was working my trip ups became obvious, leaaving jewelry on will be your least issue, wait till you dont wipe all your makeup off, explain that one away. or your stockings are showing under your pants, youve got a lot more to happen yet, what got me most was you talking about project work etc, Id forgot what it was like to be in a team of serious issues and be deep in thought, them days have gone for me, but tell you what, I dont miss it one bit, Ive been approached to do some vba programming in my retirement, but my brain couldnt even comprehend where to start and it doesnt want to either , lol

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I often wear an anklet out and about, wearing shorts and sandals so it's obvious. Not a comment yet. I was expecting comments at a party once and was ready to say "my wife bought it for me" which in that case was the truth, but no one mentioned it.

My toering on the other hand has gotten a couple of comments. One friend asked why, I answered why not? That was it. Another friend just said he didn't think he'd be able to wear one, thought it'd be uncomfortable. I assured him it wasn't, even with shoes on. That was it.

[SophiaRose]

What a great outcome. It's inspiring to hear that that you handled it with complete honesty and grace. I'm sure I would have been a deer in the headlights stammering to figure out what to say.

[Julie Frisky]

I love hearing everyone's experiences and I'm so glad they all seem to have a good outcome, which gives me a little more confidence knowing that if I inadvertently out myself all will not be lost thanks for sharing.

[alwayshave]

Misty, I have work knee highs rather than socks and never a word has been said.

[JesseVF]

I agree on some level there is the desire to be outed. Although I am quite discreet when I?m out locally I realize this could happen. I guess you never know but my feeling is if it happens anyone I know would be accepting. My issue is more that it would complicate things for my wife and children.

[Rhonda Jean]

I'm curious. Looking back, do you think the anklet was that big of a deal? My dad wore a gold anklet and never felt like he owed anybody an explanation. I've seen other guys wear them. I wore one for a while back in the 80's/90's (male mode) and never felt it was much different than wearing a necklace. I never felt like it identified me as anything. Maybe it did and I didn't know it. In combination with the shaved legs it might have made some people wonder, but nobody ever said anything. I think (with me anyway) when something means something to us, we think everybody who sees it can see straight into our mind and see what's lurking there. Maybe there's something to that, in some cases. "Takes one to know one" probably applies in some cases.

I think it's absolutely a fact though that if you want to wear an anklet, you ought to feel absolutely free to do so, and screw anybody who doesn't like it. I understand the paranoia. We tend to be a paranoid group and sometimes for good reason. We can get so paranoid and self conscious that we take it to the point where it's just oppressive. Preaching to myself to a certain extent here. If an anklet makes you happy, you should definitely wear an anklet all the time!

[Bea_]

I wear a sterling silver anklet regularly, even to church, all in male mode. I cannot sit comfortably for long without crossing my legs and the anklet is clearly visible to anyone nearby when I do cross them. The first time or two was sorta nerve wracking, but now it's just how I roll. I also just got my ears pierced a couple of years ago and after a few months in simple studs, I went through several iterations of increasingly larger sterling hoops, all in male mode. Now, I daily wear a pair of 3/4" hoops and it's totally natural and nobody says anything. I've been on that same trajectory with makeup. People get used to things that might surprise them at first.

I've been wanting to start including pearls in my male presentation but haven't gotten there yet other than a couple or three outings. I've been complimented when I've worn them, being told that I "rock them".