Wife/SO,, accepting or the other way?

[SuzyZahn]

Just gonna throw this out there. Curious.

[Bea_]

Accepting for the most part in private. Sometimes it's more reluctant tolerance, but she doesn't express it as such. It's unspoken. I used to try and be more intentional at appeasing her but I've been just letting her adjust to me rather than the other way around. It took a couple of years of therapy to get to the point of deciding that my life and preferences were as valid as hers. I finally just decided to allow her the freedom to reject me without retreating.

[Kayy]

Totally accepting, after a period of DADT. I know I’m lucky on that score.

[chrissy111]

Accepting

[BLACK STOCKINGS]

She gets mad when I do not dress every day. She loves my outfits - only thing that bothers her is she can not walk in any size heels -

[SuzyZahn]

wasnt expecting the acceptance,,,nice

[Jenn A116]

She is OK with it. Certainly would prefer that CD doesn't exist but does accept that it is something I enjoy.

[Traci H]

Not much acceptance. Doesn?t like that I wear panties, but kind of quit hassling me there. Doesn?t like that I only wear woman?s jeans, afraid others will notice. I started wearing woman?s sleep shirts and top and she asked me not too. Creeped her out. My closet is full of slinky rayon/spandex slinky tops that I only wear under other clothes in winter. She found one in the wash and called it my skanky top. Thinks I?m wacko with the unneeded bras. Like I said, not much acceptance.

[Stephanie47]

Since the early 1980's she has not said "boo." She let me know she is not interested. "If I wanted to be married to a woman, I would have married as woman," she said. I suspect she knows I indulge in her absence, although she probably does not know the extent of my wardrobe.

[Steph_CD_62]

My wife is 100% accepting, but she would be happier if I didn't crossdress.

She supports my crossdressing she goes shopping with me once or twice a year and she will give me her honest opinion if I find something on the internet. Since she married a man, we compromised and I dress usually less than 1/2 the time, but I can freely dress in front of her with no problem. Of course, she requested that I don't dress on her birthday, our anniversary and any major holiday.

[Joanne Curl]

Totally unaccepting. I came out to her about 15 years ago(she saw that I?d been on this site!). We talked about it, she was so upset. She asked if I was gay or if I wanted to be with a man,sexually. She researched and found out as much as much as she could about crossdressing but didn?t want to see it or know about it. So today we don?t discuss it and I?m in the closet, forever, if I want to stay married to her.

[tifftg]

Hates it.

[Mercedes]

My SO is tolerant but certainly wishes it was not part of my life. Since my Shopping Adventure (story in the Shopping forum) I have worn the skirts around the house and she has made no comment what so ever about them. And in bed, if I am wearing anything from panties to something more risqu? there is not a word to be said. It could be worse and there could be complete rejection, instead we have established a middle ground.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Hell, my wife doesn't even notice anymore. She's so used to it we can have a fight (rare but we're not perfect) while I'm wearing a skirt and cami and it doesn't become part of the script. On the down side, if someone's coming over and I don't know about it, she might not tell me I should change clothes because she forgot that what I'm wearing isn't "normal"!

[Jodi79]

absolutely hates it and it's not allowed.

[alwayshave]

My wife is very accepting. If she wasn't, we wouldn't be together.

[JulieC]

100% accepting. I wouldn't say encouraging though she does occasionally ask why I haven't dressed if I haven't dressed in a while. She does buy things for me from time to time without asking.

I told her early on in our relationship, before things got too dramatically serious. If figured if she didn't accept, I was gone. I was tired of being with women that were unaccepting. I mean, I get it...a heterosexual woman wants to be with a man, not whatever we are. But, I wasn't going to live this part of my life in the dark recesses of a closet. I was done with that. I figured either I found a woman who was accepting or I was going to remain single for the rest of my life. So, I told her. Two days later, she bought me pantyhose. We've been married more than 20 years now, and the rest is history :)

[bridget thronton]

Accepting at home - occasionally when we are out of town.

[Gi Gondin]

My wife is a huge supporter of Gi. Lately refers to me mainly using female pronouns.
It?s better than my wildest dreams. I have found an unicorn! And I guess she feels the same.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife tolerates in small doses. Mostly, it's

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil"

She has never seen me dressed or even pics of me dressed, nor seen any of my wardrobe, except maybe a stray panty or two.

She knows that I go out dressed, but I dress outside the house and return in male mode, unless I sneak in really late.

[RoseReve]

Hello Suzy and everybody,
as I posted on my presentation in answer to a question by Nikki, things are not really easy with my beloved wife, I think she is going through a mix of fear and denial.I am eager to discuss this topic with others, with the hope of finding a way to make it better...
The problem being I think that maybe she is unconsciously aware that I feel more like a girl than a boy, I feel like I am a woman playing the role of a man...I'm okay with it if it's not all the time and if I have also time for myself to let my feminine self live. But I think this truth frightens her, it's like a sword hanging over us...At least that's what she feels...And it's sad because that's really only one part of my life, of our reality...There is so much more to a life than the gender topic.

I hope she understands some day and lets loose, gives up control...But that's a problem for her, to give up control...She is frightened by her social image, my social image, the social image of our couple...And we've been living through so many things together than I can't impose on her. I try to find a therapist for her, to talk about it, but she never did. Many we should try couple therapy...Or I should convince her to read the "Ask a GG" thread on this forum, which is so full of great reflexions !!

We'll see, in the meantime I try to manage things as they come...
And I would really be happy to find some support here and share experiences.

Has anyone experienced a positive change of attitude in his/her wife ? Or is it mainly fixed for ever ? (I fear it's the second answer !!!:daydreaming:)

All the best,
Rose

[Sometimes Steffi]

Not really very good in my case.

She went from "Get fixed" to "Tolerant"

[DAVIDA]

From the moment I told her.
It is not an issue in any way, and has been out with me several times in Atlanta, but it has been a very long time since I have been out dressed.

[RoseReve]

Not really very good in my case.

She went from "Get fixed" to "Tolerant"

So it's a "slight amelioration" :)

- - - Updated - - -


From the moment I told her.
It is not an issue in any way, and has been out with me several times in Atlanta, but it has been a very long time since I have been out dressed.

Good to know that it's not an issue for you both :)
All the best,
Rose

[Kris Burton]

My wife is very accepting and supportive. We have been married for 43 years, and in that time we have had many trials and challenges. My crossdressing has not been one of them. I am one of the lucky ones.

[Andrea Renea]

Largely accepting but not her favorate attribute of my personality.

[SophiaRose]

Hopefully I'll be able to answer this question in about 6 mo. I just started therapy to sort out how I really feel about myself so I can open up to her. There are an equal number of posts here that are inspiring and scary. My wife grew up on a ranch surrounded by hyper masculine cowboys. Even if she wants a DADT relationship I hope she doesn't think less of me as a husband. That would be somewhat devastating to my ego.

[Teri Ray]

I am 52 years married to the love of my life and she does accept my passion. I know I am one of the lucky girls here.

[Leah87]

0% Acceptance / 0% Tolerance. Pick whichever one you like. If I could give her a minus figure, then I would.

[Monique65]

After many years of her ignoring my attempts to breach the subject, she is finally accepting of me wearing panties, a bra, and night gowns. I feel that she is willing to let me express my feminine side freely rather than try to stifle it. Needless to say, our relationship is much stronger now, and I have no plans to take my dressing any further.

[sara66]

My wife tolerates and mostly accepting of my dressing as long as she does not see me dressed. She fine with my closet full of clothes as long as i keep my spending in check. We can talk about it as long as it is not the only thing we talk about. I think there are time she is less understanding but still tolerates me.
Sara

[JesseVF]

Tolerant but doesn?t like it so I mostly keep it private. Of course still way better than totally in closet so I?m grateful for that.

[Lacey New]

0% Acceptance / 0% Tolerance. Pick whichever one you like. If I could give her a minus figure, then I would.

Ditto. And that is why I hide it very carefully.

[Jamie Lynn]

Tolerant but no make-up, wig or going out. Does tease occasionally.

[JocelynJames]

My wife is accepting , and minimally encouraging. For example ?this looks more your style ? or ?that?s a great look? ,vs ?let?s get you dolled up and out in public? .

[danniUK]

I only recently admitted to her (and myself) how much dressing means to me, so we're still finding our way. Sometimes it feels like she hates it, other times accepting (she's arranged for my first outing in public with her for my next birthday).
I'm hoping things keep moving in that direction.

[SaraLin]

Panties are OK (she doesn't have to see me in them)
Nighties are OK (as long as they're not too feminine - IOW, plain and the longer the better)
Nothing else is OK in her world. This hasn't changed in 20+ years.

So I'd put her in the "barely tolerant" category.

[suezeq]

i told wife before we even meet and all she said is that all been together 24 years now when she has some thing new i get as well under dress every day ,sleep in what i want to ,her only rules are no wig no make up been out twice

[CynthiaD]

Acceptance and approval are two different things. She accepts my cding. I can wear whatever I want whenever I want. Does she approve? Not really.

[kimdl93]

Uhh, ex wife, 0% accepting

[Debbie Denier]

Its not normal were her exact words. So 0 tolerance and 0 acceptance.

[Julie Frisky]

When I tried telling her years ago it did not go well, so I am well in the closet but she is ok with me wearing pantyhose so that's something

[NancySue]

Count me as one of the lucky/ fortunate ones. I think because I fessed up to her prenuptial. She is totally supportive and helpful. Neither of us understand this phenomenal, but we both enjoy it. She?s been so helpful with makeup, selections, etc.
It?s fun to chat. Actually, I helped her. I recently purchased several front clip underwire bras and mentioned how much I enjoyed them and how comfortable they were. Even though she hates underwires, she bought one and had to admit they were nice. I can?t convince her to start wearing hose. 😔

[Megan b]

I have an ex wife now,mostly because of my crossdressing.

[tamara]

Not accepting at all. If she knew about my Crossdressing, most likely we would end up divorced. But I love her, and I am OK hiding it. Although it would be a dream come true to be able to share it with her...

[Christie ann]

Tolerates just a little tiny but. It can have Womens sizing but better not look like it at all. Accepting not even a little bit.

[cd300]

Been Rollercoaster of a marriage.

She was confused then sorta accepting.
Then had to throw it all away.
Then DADT
Then absolutely not
Then somewhat acceptable but
Not seen to her but she bought me things.
Then I kinda got used to not being able too do it.
Then full acceptance, participation shopping together
Actually makeover together nails done together.
And now poof she wants nothing to do with it and our marriage end after 20 years.

[Mercedes]

Well this is an interesting update I think. I recently bought some new skirts and worn them in front of my wife in the past week. Well moments ago I asked her if she was ok with it and she said it was fine. So I asked her now if I could go and put on one of the skirts and she said ok. So I am typing this while sitting in our family room wearing the skirt pictured here but without the nylons or top. I think this is a pretty big move on her part and I am thankful.

Mind you I am also not posing, but sitting with my legs crossed drinking a lovely Gin cocktail.

342954

[Joanie CD]

I am ridiculously lucky. My wife is 100% accepting. I came out to her about 6 years ago, after 37 years of marriage. She had no idea. The outing happened because I left a plus-size skirt on the bed that I forgot to pack for a business trip. I was always afraid to tell her because she had made a negative remark about crossdressing many years before. I am now SO sorry I didn't tell her sooner. She never once worried that I was gay or wanted to transition. She bought me some makeup almost immediately and shared some of her own. Now we go out for drinks or dinner with me dressed and she says she forgets I'm dressed, because it's so normal. When we go shopping at thrift (AKA charity) shops, she likes to find stuff she thinks Joanie will like. I can dress at home whenever I want without any real rules. She might get irked if I'm spending time on dressing when there's something else I'm supposed to be doing, but that would be true of any hobby as well. She has helped me find out what clothes look better on me, helped me with growing out my hair, and otherwise been a fount of GG advice. She is truly one in a million.

[Anarainbow]

Lucky you:) I've been scretly started crossdressing since about 16-17 years ago. When I used to date my now Ex-wife, we were hanging out in my apartment bedroom that my shoes, dresses, makeups and so all tucked in the closet. After I get married, she actually gave me some hints about letting me crossdressing, I think she was also into it. Sometimes evening time when we watching movies in the bed, she would offer me some nail polish with a big smile on her face, I would joking with her but then to decline. Also one halloween she brought full wig and dresses tights heels..., the full outfit just for me, but the same as I declined, and she was so sad.

It has been almost 10 years since then, that time I was in the deep closet, even she asked I would say no. Only if I can travel back in time for a second chance, I would definitely do my best in crossdressing with her.

[Freddi]

Lucky to have not only an accepting wife but a supportive one. She'll buy me cloths & make-up or simple point out what would look good on me. She's been supportive ever since I came out to her.....that was pre marriage. But she would rather it was for her eyes only....I'm happy enough with that. Although she has on occasions suggested we renew our vows but this time me in the dress.....but I'm not sure how serious she was or even if I'd have courage to do it either.

[DianeT]

My wife is accepting, despite the fact that I hid it from her for a very, very long time. This is an acquired taste. Still puzzles her more than I could say, but she does her best to cope with it and accept me. I don't go out and don't fancy it. She hasn't seen me in full nines per mutual agreement but I dress in front of her in MIAD mode.

[Jessica Secret]

My boyfriend is 100% accepting, supportive and encouraging and has been throughout our entire relationship. I wear romantic lingerie to bed so needless to say he loves it when I get ready for bed.

[Cacique82]

She’s fully accepting.

[EmilyShy]

Tolerant sums it up. She appears accepting but her expressions scream she hates it.


Emily xx

[CarlaWestin]

DADT and IDWTSI.

As full disclosure @10 years ago went horribly wrong, I don't let any mention of my activity or desire enter into our relationship.
She knows of my proclivity but wants no part of it. Even as the media showcases the worst of the gender twisters, I have no comment.
I keep it all away from US although, I dress practically every morning and sometimes go out as she sleeps in due to the luxury of having wonderful private space on property.
I often wonder if every week or so it would be tolerant for me to be the lovely uniformed housekeeper for the day.
Maybe offer her a totally indulgent spa day for her in exchange and she comes home to a clean house and then we go out for date night.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzy, We have a very workable DADT,

[Tanya silk stocking]

Mys/o is totally accepted my cross dressing with no boundaries what to wear

[Cheryl T]

Fully accepting.
Never thought it would happen, but luckily her love was stronger than I imagined.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

barely tolerant

[Meg]

I count myself lucky. Ex-wife knew before marriage and had even bought me items. It became a problem, (See ex-wife). I met a lady that was accepting to a point. Panties, pantyhose, gartered stockings and nightgowns. No wig, bra, dresses etc. Nothing too fem. I think she became more tolerant as time moved on. I am widowed now and my dressing has increased. Love and Hugs, Meg

[Lori Anne]

We're very much DADT.

[Verity]

I have been very fortunate. My wife actually got me thinking about my desire to dress, and asked me questions in a very open way. It?s not exactly easy for her, but she is rather supportive and wants me to be me, and be honest. While she thinks it weird that I like bras, and doesn?t like that part of the look on me, she is fine with most of the rest and has been having fun finding jewelry for me and painting our nails together. I feel so lucky to be able to openly dress at home. It feels so good and relaxing to go femme several times a week.

[TheHiddenMe]

My wife is tolerant but not accepting, and there is a difference between the two.

She knows and has known for a long time, from the early days of meeting in 1985. She doesn’t mind the dressing but would prefer I not leave the house, but I have too much fun going out for that to happen.

I get acceptance from the friends I've made, and that means a lot to me.

[Connie D50]

Says she is accepting, action more times than not show other wise.

[sometimes_miss]

Well, it resulted in my divorce, so 'the other way'.
I still date, but have yet to find a woman who's actually okay with having a mate who crossdresses. I have not outed myself, but carefully bring up CD in discussion. No enthusiasts so far, among the females.
But I live in eternal hope.

[Evelyn37]

I am not confident to tell a significant other.