More excuses for why I don't go out dressed

[Nikkilovesdresses]

My objective in dressing isn't to pass as female, it's to relish the look and feel of the kind of clothes I'd wear if I were a woman.

When I found this forum, ten years ago, I was mostly into Goth. Now I find I'm drawn to far girlier clothes, lots of colour, floaty dresses and skirts, and lots of gorgeous bras and corsets.

I have various wigs and an amount of make-up, but it's hot here in southern France, and wigs and make-up are too much faff and too uncomfortable, so I'm even further from passing than 10 years ago. Add to that my ten-years-older face, and the thought of going out dressed to pass is just too daunting.

Thank you all, especially Helen and Kim, for your encouragement- I appreciate your thoughtful replies, and I'm happy to read of your exploits, but when I go to pick up pizzas tonight to take to my understanding friend, I'll have on trousers and a baggy shirt over my dress- I'll change in the car before I walk the 50 yards to her house, knowing that I might well meet her neighbours on the way, as I did last time. That much exposure I can handle!

[danniUK]

I don't dress with the intention of passing either, it's how the clothes feel and make me feel that's the thing.

Though I do think that my age - coming up on 50 - actually moves me closer to being able to pass. Could I have passed as a cute little thing in my 20s/30s? Doubt it.
But I think passing as a middle aged woman might be closer to possible.

[JohnH]

I hardly wear trousers anymore; my standard attire are dresses. The last time I wore trousers was in April when I climbed up on the roof of my house to replace shingles. And I wear my dresses to church, doctor's appointments, and to go shopping.
I have grown my hair out so I don't need a wig.
The overwhelming attitude with my attire is people simply don't care.
So I encourage you, Nikki, to wear the dresses openly as I do.

John

[Julie Frisky]

Hi Nikki I'm a little like yourself I love the look and feeling of the clothes I'm wearing I think most of my time dressed is without makeup and wig that's partly due to not much time but I am very wary about walking down the street in either full fem or partly fem mode, as I don't like being stared at, so I quite understand your comments and feelings.

[JohnH]

Julie and Nikki,
I don't get stared at all when I wear my usual attire, i.e., dresses.

John

[Stephanie47]

Nikki, I totally agree with you. Yes, I do enjoy reading the journeys of others. Perhaps, I am envious. I am satisfied with in-home dressing because it meets my need for an air of peace and tranquility. As I posted yesterday I have two days to be en femme, so I spent it in-home doing domestic chores and enjoyable things. In the past I have gone out to just get the feel, although limited, of the cool breeze playing with the hem of my dress and slip; the click of heels on a hard surface. I have fabricated a reason to get out of my car; mail a letter, return library books, buy a soda from a machine outside a grocery stores, etc. At 200 pounds and six foot I have no desire to engage with the general public. As Julie stated, I also would not appreciate stares and under the breath comments. It would destroy the tranquility I enjoy being en femme. I realize I may enjoy a secure venue or meeting. I looked when I was younger (decades ago) but none was to be found.

[NancySue]

My wife and I love to go out and do, but I like to look nice, which includes makeup, hose, heels and skirts or dresses, earrings, etc. These are rarely seen in our town, thus too much attention. Getting read would not be good.

[docrobbysherry]

I can only pass in my photos and at Halloween. Becqause I have an 80 y/o face. See in my avatar, Nikki.:daydreaming:

I'm like u, I don't underdress. I go out a lot dressed. But, I don't dress out to vanilla venues!:thumbsdn:

[Helen_Highwater]

Nicki,

You're probably aware but there's another of our community, bobbi, who also lives in France and spends most if not all her time dressed. Might be worth comparing notes and draw upon her experiences.

As I've said before, it's my belief that every CD'er should, at some point in their lives, experience being out fully enfemme in the real world. It's like food, you can't say you don't like it till you've tried it.

[CarlaWestin]

For myself, going out dressed is a scandalous thrill. I can really put in the effort and the extra layers to attempt to pass but, over the years I've found it easier to just pass by undetected for the most part.
When you're getting ready and checking the mirror you can assure yourself that you have a passing appearance which is fine. But once out in the wild, there's different lighting and generally you're a bit taller than the other women.
I think worrying about passing too much distracts from the fun of in all.

[Lisa Gerrie]

My voice is as low as James Earl Jones' so I've known since puberty that truly passing in public ain't gonna happen. But my reason for not going out while dressed is that I don't care to. I've always had problems with social anxiety, I feel awkward and self-conscious doing anything social, even in drab. I'm retired, so I live my life at home and can dress pretty pretty much whenever I want. Which is all day, most days. But being dressed is too cumbersome and hot* to let me do hard work in the yard or other activities I enjoy. Impractical.

As my makeup and other skills improve I may change my mind someday, at least under the right circumstances. But it's not a goal in itself; it would be the result of accomplishing other things.

* temperature-wise

[kimdl93]

Each of us has our own motivations and needs. Nikki, you be you!

[Kris Burton]

I've always had problems with social anxiety, I feel awkward and self-conscious doing anything social, even in drab.

Lisa - I've also had a problem with this aspect of life. What I have found is that taking on an entirely new and different persona - free of my personal baggage - actually helps in this regard. You must do what is right for you as Kim says, but that has been my experience.




For myself, going out dressed is a scandalous thrill. I think worrying about passing too much distracts from the fun of in all.

This really nails it for me as well Carla. I'm going to remember this, especially the "scandalous thrill" part!

[Anarainbow]

My first try on crossdressing into public was on Halloween, went to the gay bar area. That time I was really bad at the makeup, did eyeliner wrong, no fundation, no lashes.
But that night I was dressed hot, in my LBD and 5 inches grey booties, pink and black layered tights, brown curly wig, had bra, but wearing a men's glass.

I walked from parking lot to the bar, about 500 yards away. At the street intersection, a flock of college girls in theri sexy customs was starring at me, not sure if they think I was a man in drag.
When I arrived at the bar entrance, the guard and they bar girls didn't recognize me as a guy until I spoke to them, so I'd say passed.

You can try to walk around the neighborhood or maybe driving in cross and these can boost your confidence as you do.

Also I think personally the actual challenge for first few times out is to wearing the heels. Especially those sky high heels with 2 or 3 inches platform. It feels entirely different at home in heel than out in heels. Heels too tall are difficult to walk and can grab some attentions, try some comfortable shoes like flats or lower than bedroom heels when you're going out.