The Early Years 2

[Debbie Denier]

As I approached my final year in school. I noticed the girls in my class becoming women. They started wearing darker shades of nylons. I started to do the same as I wanted to be like them. We went on holiday with my cousin Val. She was dressed up lovely. I wanted to be like her and started buying my own clothes from charity thrift stores. I wanted to up my game but didnt know how to. I saw an advert in the personal column of my local newspaper for a CD / TV support group. I called them on the landline number. Spoke to a helpful CD Anabel who changed my life for ever. She told me not to feel guilt and shame CD should be fun. She told me where t to buy stilleto shoes, lingerie and wigs . Gave me the names of the contacts in the shops.It became a thrill trying on womens clothes and shoes in drab mode. I went to the support group in drab and for the first time met people like me. When I was ready I turned up with my fem outfit in my sports bag and proceeded to change. In the changing room there were also other CDs in sexy lingerie, stockings and suspenders. I became aroused and confused. I had girlfriends. It didnt seem right.Once dressed I felt great and felt welcome as a CD for the first time in my life.

[KrissyTN]

It took me a long time to find a support group. My first introduction to the fact there were other CD's was when I saw an advertisement for Michael Salem's boutique in NYC. They also had a catalog that I sent away for (no internet then) and even though much of the catalog was pen and ink drawings, it opened up a whole new chapter in my dressing!

[Jane G]

In many ways I wish I could relate. In others I married the girl I love 40+ years ago and she is my life. I have thought about finding local support groups, but never acted on those thoughts. I doubt I will ever truly be released to be me. But there is so much else.

[Cassie2024]

Debbie, I'm glad you found a support group. Your story sounds like mime. I showed up to our local support group in drab, scared to death. I sat there and didn't say a word. A few of the members said hello, but conversation was like pulling teeth. I didn't go back for a couple of years. During those couple of years, I found my therapist and he was so supportive of me in my journey. He suggested I try the group one more time. It took a few months, but I did, again in drab. This time, I was a bit more relaxed and i am pretty sure that allowed easier conversation. I learned that I could change before the meeting and after if I so choose to do so. I did. I underdressed as much as possible and even applied a lot of my makeup. As you said, once I was dressed and made my d?but, I felt GREAT! To actually interact as Cassie in a social setting and being called Cassie was so incredibly exhilarating. I felt normal for the first time in my life, well, since i recognized why and what I was seeking all those years. Eventually, i began leaving the apartment and driving to the meeting dressed. My confidence grew from that point where i began to venture out dressed as Cassie during the day and early evenings and have dinner with a male friend, the only one who knew about Cassie at the time. So, take it at the pace that you are comfortable. Always be aware of your surroundings and be safe, but most importantly, have fun and be Debbie .:love:

[alwayshave]

Debbie, I belong to CD social groups, not necessarily a support. But it is great to be around other girls.

[jjjjohanne]

I have only ever gone to one such meeting. I went because it was somewhere to go while dressed pretty. By this point of my journey, I had been out in public many times. My wife was uncomfortable about me going, as usual, because she felt one hour away from home was too close. I am pretty sure if one of our acquaintances were at this meeting that it would have been alright. This group was a transgender group, and I am not a TG person, so it wasn't a perfect fit. There were several new people at this meeting. They were scared to death, just like you were. One said, "My name is Mike. I call myself Bree." He said it in other words that communicated that he was ashamed and afraid. People responded with, "Hello Bree!" There were a few people who were on hormones. One FtM person had a full beard. A MtF person looked like a genetic woman A couple others looked like tall, large-framed grandmothers. I probably would not have realized they weren't genetic girls in any other setting. I was just a man wearing a dress. I felt a little vibe of "You're not one of us," from one person. The others were friendly and welcoming.

I think my most memorable encounter at this meeting was before it started, I was walking from my car, trying to find the building. It was at a Universalist church. In the light of some outdoor lighting, I saw someone else. I decided to ask if I was at the right church. Anyhow, the other person, who was short, petite, and had short hair said, that they were looking for the transgender group meeting. Suddenly, I went from being in a skirt in a strange place all alone to having a travel companion. He was a young, FtM person. He probably looked a lot like a short-haired girl with no makeup. I think we both appreciated having a buddy to accompany us as we walked into our first meeting.