Dressing vs hanging out with friends?

[SuzyZahn]

As a life long sister here, i`m curious as to what would most of my sisters prefer? A day enfemme or a day hanging out with SO/friends/ or couples? As time has gone by( and it does quickly) I find that I prefer a day being my softer side much more enjoyable. On the other hand I get a guilty feeling at times of avoiding get togethers with friends/acquaintances and other couples as i do put a large importance of interacting with friends etc. No ,,I do not interact as Suzy, although that bucket list item is still there. so i guess i`m asking is whats your importance ?

[Jane G]

Interesting to read. Since retirement, I get all the time I could wish for to be me. Much of that is spent climbing mountains drab and much at home dressed. To combine the two would be ideal, but it is never going to happen. Enjoying life goes on despite the obvious compromise.

[jjjjohanne]

The evidence in my life suggests that I give much much more of my time to family/friends than I give to getting away and having a pretty day. I doubt I have ever canceled plans to go crossdress, but I have canceled a plan to crossdress because something came up.
However, every minute I spend dressed pretty is a minute that could have been given to my family, etc. So, one could make an argument that it is sometimes more important.
Overthinkers can find a hole in any logic!

[SuzyZahn]

I agree Johanne, family is first,,,always friends and others is probably where i come into enjoying my softer side.

[Brynna M]

It's rare that I get a chance to dress. Only when family aren't around. I would never bail on anyone to dress but I wouldn't pass up my rare opportunities by planning something with friends.

[Fiona_44]

I am fortunate to have the best of both worlds. I live 24/7 as a woman so get to hang out with my friends as a woman.

[Glenda58]

I came out to all my friends and now I go with them as Glenda. My family has been with from the start.

[alwayshave]

Suzy, I have a friend who holds a dinner every year around Christmas. Usually it falls the same day as one of my CD social groups has a dinner. I always go to the CD social group all pretty.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I am lucky, or maybe unlucky if you prefer. Boy me doesn't have any friends. Steffi has lots of friends like her. So if the question is Boy-me friends or Steffi's friends, the easy answer is Steffi's friends. If the question is family or Steffi's friends, I'd try to harmonize the schedules.

[TheHiddenMe]

How about a day dressed with one of my GG friends?

There is a time for everything; family, dressing with friends, dressing solo.

[SaraLin]

For me, I guess I'd have to say that the real world comes before my dream world. There have only been a few times where I could mix the two, but those times were wonderful!

[Marketa]

As a solitary person it's CD for me. But I'd love to go out with a GG friend as me. But I started CD in April and I'm not even 40, so I hope I'll have the opportunity.

[CynthiaD]

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I feel starved for human contact and need to hang with friends. Sometimes I really need to just be myself, en femme. I’m out to many of the people I’m closest to. Two birds with one stone.

[Stephanie47]

When I was still working I would always choose private femme time over interacting with fellow humanoids. I always got burned out yapping too much with others. After I retired I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. I have had a set routine of meeting with fellow veterans once a week. As a senior you find there is a generational divide with a lot of people. Right now it's my wife and me against the world. My wife, also a retiree now, has taken up overnight stays with our grandchild which gives me an extended period to bring out Stephanie. I don't think people realize, femme or en drab, they need solitude on occasion.

[Richelle423]

I have no friends except you girls on this forum and don?t want any. I prefer to spend my days off and vacations enfem .

[SophiaRose]

Virtually all of my social time is organized by my wife with mutual friends. I used to complain about going, instead wanting some alone time to dress. I?ve recently made a significant commitment to work on my marriage and so dressing just has to wait. No problems finding other opportunities so all is good.

[docrobbysherry]

I believe you've perfectly explained why I socialize more with other dressers and trans friendly folks than I do as a man, Suzy.:hugs:

And, remember that I identify as a closet CD!:tongueout

In fact, I only dress alone at home for photo shoots anymore. Even tho I live alone!:battingeyelashes:

[Kris Burton]

I always will prefer to spend time with my family - my wife, sons and their SOs, and they will always come first. Other socialization is with other CD/TG persons I have met either here or at gatherings. A lot of it is the online variety. So far I have not had any conflict between the two - I try to plan ahead so I am guilt free.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzy :hugs: Honestly I really enjoy just having the Best of Both Worlds, >Orchid>Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[krissy]

hi i know what you mean on solitude .im retired too so is wife 45 years but she cant stand this side of me but its us against the world .lol gut the kids and grandkids and great grand kids its hard to have alone time but that's life i guess

[audreyinalbany]

kind of a zero-sum game...can't we have both? That's what I would prefer

[Genifer Teal]

kind of a zero-sum game...can't we have both? That's what I would prefer

You have to put in the work and create it for yourself. Most of my friends only know Gen. Maybe it's a little different for me Because I take this more on the trans side. When I'm with my friends I get to have both. I surround myself with accepting people.
I convinced myself in the beginning. It was cool to lead a dual life. It didn't take me long to realize how tiring that can be. And that wasn't really what I wanted.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Suzy,

You must have thought a lot about which of your friends just might be accepting enough to handle meeting Suzy...

Did you come up with any names, male or female?

I've always felt more at ease with women than men, from an early age. While a few male friends have seen pics, only one has met Nikki in person. But I've come out to 3 or 4 women friends, and it's very touching to have their acceptance.

If I lived alone on a desert island I'd still want to wear women's clothes, but it sure is nice to share it with someone.

[PaulaJeanette]

Suzy, while we always want both, we can only achieve one or the other. As a VERY private dresser, Paula normally dresses only when alone at home. With the exception of the ladies here online, no one or very few know this part of me. Also, I don't believe coming out to family and friends is worth the disruption to these important relationships.

[Cheryl T]

I will always choose a day to be me rather than hanging with friends.
Actually I would really prefer a day being me and hanging with girl friends, chatting, watching movies or whatever. If I could only find some in my area or within a reasonable drive.
Still looking ...
Anyone in NEPA?

[BiancaEstrella]

For me, in my most nascent days of crossdressing, it was mainly something I kept to myself. I eventually got to the point where I wanted some friends to know, because I wanted more for myself (learning makeup, putting together outfits, etc.). My early confidants were friends who I knew were LGBT-friendly from their social media activity, very foundational and not judgmental, just open-minded question-askers who wanted to understand how to be a good friend to me... this was a mix of people I attended school with and "women I only knew from online but seem cool and will happily cut away from if this goes sideways" in about equal measure. The second group consisted of friends who were women's college athletes - relating to them about height-based things created openings to introduce them to a side of me that understood more directly than they'd realized; these friends benefitted greatly from mail-order things I'd try on but wouldn't work for me. The third group I told - and this was by far the most risky - was women whom I found attractive, but I'd never made a move on or done anything with. The goal here was to disarm them (and to a lesser extent, myself) from feeling like I might, while simultaneously expressing my appreciation for how they dressed and carried themselves.

When I wanted someone to hang out with *and* get some dressing in, I made sure I had options of people to call.

Chances are you know someone from all three of these groups. Make your new friends!

[Heather76]

Since I am very much a loner, it's no contest. I would much prefer a complete day/week/month en femme vs. hanging out with others.

[danniUK]

Seeing my friends - my real friends of old - is such a rarity that I'd definitely choose them over dressing.
Though it's my long term hope to talk to them all (a group of 4) individually so that when we have one of our regular meet ups I can dress however I like.
I've talked about this on another thread previously - I've talked to one of them already, three to go. We're such old, close friends that I'm confident they'll be accepting... I just need the courage and the time to talk to them!

[Debs]

Outside work, all my friends are trans or xdressers, I meet them when I go to Blackpool and stay overnight when we go shopping during the day and pubs clubs at night

[countrygirl]

I would prefer to hang out with friends while dressed. Some know some don't. But usually I am at home alone and dress.

[Debbie Denier]

Dressing as opportunities to dress are rarer than opportunities to hang out with friends.

[Evelyn37]

Being a widower, I have plenty of time to dress so I strike a balance between the two.

[Verity]

A great question to consider. I am not yet brave enough to go out dressed, but getting there, so time en femme is really precious. My wife is supportive and kids know so I can dress at home at will and don?t have choose to miss time with them if I want to dress. I am not out to friends or wider family, still considering who may need to know or whom I?d to. I would love having friends who knew, or couples my wife and I could socialize while dressed, that would be ideal. For now I would say it?s a balance. Sometimes choosing socializing, and sometimes choosing dressing. It?s hard to fully enjoy each moment when there has to be a choice made, I hate missing out. Might be a good motivation to be brave and find more I can share this side of me with.

[Staci]

I always choose doing something with friends or family before dressing. The only person that knows about my love of crossdressing is my wife and my plan is to keep it that way. I might try to attend a Crossdressing meeting or event dressed in the future but so far it is only a dream.

[CDMargret]

Well my adventures include what I like to call Muggle friends and family as well as those in the know. It's a pretty close balance of time dressed and not. When dressed I have CD friends that visit or we go to events. Like living in two completely different worlds. And if those two worlds collide one day, I am just fine with that too. Lucky to have my wife fully involved in them both and then some.

[Violetgray]

I hang out with my friends while femme constantly

[Leah87]

If I suddenly found that I had a free day to myself, I would definitely use it as a chance to dress as opportunities are so rare.

The only thing that would take preference would be a chance to meet up with either of my sisters. Opportunities to meet up with either of them are rarer than they are to dress.

My friends are important to me, but I already meet up with them on a regular basis.