I got permission, even encouragement

[Sometimes Steffi]

It's not what you're thinking. My DADT wife didn't give me permission, but ...

I had my Medicare wellness checkup today and one of the things that I talked about with my GG PCP was my wife.

My PCP doctor has been read into the program so she knows that I crossdress. As I mentioned in a prior thread, my wife is having mobility, cognitive and memory issues. I told my PCP that I was often at a loss about how to handle it. My PCP set me up with an immediate appointment the the therapist on staff. I had seen the therapist before, and she has also been read into the program.

The therapist asked me what I do for me, something I really like. Hint, hint. One of the things that she suggested is to crossdress more often. Don't wait for my social group to set up meetups, but to go shopping and buy something, even if it isn't too extravagant. I guess that she was suggesting "retail therapy". LOL. She also suggesting that I set up smaller events with CDs in the local area with whom I am friendly. Go shopping with a CD friend, go out to lunch or dinner with a CD friend. I guess we could even go to a salon appointment together.

She said that I needed to do fun things to relieve the stress and to keep myself happy. I shared some recent pics from the Keystone Conference with her and she commented on how happy I looked.

So, if it works for me, it could work for you. Just do it!

[kimdl93]

Well, she is the professional! She is right on. As you bear the burdens of caregiver, you are wise care for yourself and expand the parts of your life that bring you joy.

[Brynna M]

I read somewhere that resilience in the face of challenges isn't about enduring but finding ways to recharge. Being our best selves for others means being that best self to ourselves too.

[bridget thronton]

I hope you will take a little more time for self care - you are doing a great job caring for your wife

[Stephanie47]

I like your therapist. Retail therapy is a great way to relax and escape the stresses of life, "IF" one can afford it! Sometimes that is the only way one can fulfill an inner need for self expression when in a DADT marriage.

[Marketa]

CDing prescribed by an actual doctor. That's something :)

What I've found out here is, that for many of us CD is a big stress reliever.

I'm glad things work in your favor in this regard.

[docrobbysherry]

I don't know if u r allowed to go out at nite, Steffi?

But, if u can u mite locate a nearby LGBTQ friendly bar/club near u. Then, u can go there whenever the need to dress and chat with others arrises!:battingeyelashes:

[danniUK]

Lovely to hear some positivity Steffi!
Professionals know their stuff.

(I'll admit that when I read the subject line I thought it was something that had come from your wife)

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't know if u r allowed to go out at nite, Steffi?

But, if u can u mite locate a nearby LGBTQ friendly bar/club near u. Then, u can go there whenever the need to dress and chat with others arrises!

I can go out at night, and I go out a lot with the girls in the two DC-area Meetup groups that I'm a member of. There is only one LGBT club (Freddie's) in Northern Virginia. I've gone out with the girls there many times, but most of the meetups now are usually at a hotel restaurant/bar about 5 miles from me. When I first started going out with these girls, my wife was out of town a lot, and I met the girls at Freddie's almost once a week. When my wife stopped travelling, I still met the girls at Freddie's. I told my wife that I was going out drinking with friends. Nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth.

I need to find some friends who will take me to some of the LGBT bars in DC. I don't know the DC area very well, and there's the whole parking and walking to the venue that makes it so much more complicated.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Update.

My TG event was more of a women's retreat. About half the participants were somewhere on the TG spectrum and the other half were cis. Two of the organizers were cis allies and the other was TG.

One of the organizers was a certified life coach and she held a session each day. She also advised me that I needed more girl time.

If I would listen to the universe, I would hear the universe telling me (almost demanding me) to make more girl time. I'm even starting to listen. I'm taking it under advisement as an engineering problem to resolve.

I will provide a day-by-day report of the retreat when I have time.

[Rhonda Darling]

Steffi: How long was the retreat? Was there a theme? I presume you were CDing the whole time? And lastly (for now) is it a recurring retreat? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Sometimes Steffi]

It was a retreat hosted by Cassandra Storm, Liz & Kristy Snow. It was for 4 days and 3 nights.

I arrived Wednesday and I checked in around 1. I checked out at noon on Saturday. I wanted to stay Saturday night and explore Lancaster Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning but the hotel was booked solid.

The theme was "Letting Go in Lancaster".

Yes. I was all girl, all day and all night. I had at least a couple of wardrobe changes every day. Plus, I left my home town dressed (not from home, of course) and I returned to my home town dressed (but, again, not at home). So, I was dressed from Wednesday (9:30 AM) until Saturday (8:00 PM). Plus, I slept in forms every night.

Cass's plan is to have it annually, but this was the inaugural event.

[Suzie Petersen]

You should always listen to your doctor!
"Dress as a girl and go out twice a week .... and call me in the morning!"

[danniUK]

Sounds like an amazing few days! Hope it was as good as it sounds.