I?m just the wrong size

[Casey41]

Today was a little reality hit!

As I walked through the mall looking for a gift, I constantly saw pictures and advertising of beautiful clothes and women. I did want to find a
Couple tank tops that I can wear under my work shirts in man mode. But I wanted them to be women?s tank tops with out the small spaghetti straps. I went into La Senza and almost asked the SA to measure me. I found some men?s jeans and grabbed a women?s pair also but didn?t end up going in to change.

Anyways. I came to the realization while confronted by many mirrors that I?m just such a large tall man6?3? and thick 240 lbs that will never look feminine.

Some how I seem delusional when I dress that I imagine myself as Petite and small or even feminine. I want to imagine that I could pull off fitting in. I don?t think I ever will.

Anyways. A little reality check today.

Hmmmmm

[JayBird]

You are not alone. The gender dysphoria ranges in many of us at different levels. You can still find a size that fits you and that makes you FEEL good. That is what is important.:hugs:

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I'm 6 ft, 225 lbs, and I will never ever look like a woman. BUT I have dozens of feminine tanks, spaghetti straps, normal, and racerback, which I still look fairly good in (according to photos, mirrors, and my wife). Many of which I wear in public as normal men's clothes (not the spaghetti straps, but most of the others). The spaghetti strap tanks are for wearing on my own property or under a t-shirt. Or while driving overnite, as I did the other nite.
Today I wore a burgundy camo racerback tank that I got from temo to work (I work construction). Then I wore it to the UPS store, Home Depot, and had a couple friends stop by. No one seemed to notice that it was a women's tank. Which it wasn't, it's mine.

[alwayshave]

Casey, I'm 6'2, 250 and dropping, I'm never going to be a petite girl. I don't care. There are plenty of girls built like you and I.

[Helen_Highwater]

I'm 5'10 and shrinking as I get older, size 18 in the shoulders, 16 waist. But here's the thing. If I buy the correct sizes then women's clothes fit me. I'm not squeezing into them, they fit as they're meant to.

And that's the thing. You wear, as most women do, styles that suit your size. That's why a lot of retailers now do sizes for those females with "curves". Those ladies may dream of looking like catwalk model but know it's not happening anytime soon so they adapt.

Learn to be the best you can with what you've got. Balance your frame with hip and bum padding and it's surprising just what can stare back at you from the mirror.

[Debbie Denier]

Im 5?11?. Size 18 never going to be a catwalk model , but who is including GGs.

[sara66]

It is not your size or shape, women come in many also. It is finding the right cut for your body shape. I am 6' 300lb size 24. women's pant will not work for me, I have no butt. you'll find better luck in dresses. I would look for something knee length and a higher waist. Suprisingly something more fitted may work better. Avoid potatoe sacks they will make you look bad.
Sara

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Casey :hugs:, Have you noticed that GG's come in all sizes & Shapes,>Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Cheryl T]

Look around you.
Women come in all shapes and sizes. There are clothes for them all.

We may not all look like runway models, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy being who we are.

[docrobbysherry]

Casey, your post made me wonder about the 240 lb women out there? And, there r plenty where I live!
Do they think like u do?

They'll never be petite women either. But, they do look like women!:battingeyelashes:

So, I can't help thinking u could too if u want to badly enuff?:thumbsup:

[Casey41]

Thank you for all the replies. I was feeling a little lost I guess and having all of your supporting and encouraging words means a lot. I guess there is a chance that we could be a majority. Large people with taller and thicker frames. Trying to mask and manipulate the eyes to seeing a feminine form.

I wonder about you all? Wonder if there is any similarity to me. I think that I enjoy dressing so much beyond the feeling and sensuality. Obviously I love having some alone time and love and even get aroused by the dressing. BUT , I think a huge factor of my enjoyment is the escape. I get to escape being the biggest guy in the room. Escape the expectations of being tough strong and responsible.

I get to be pretty, cute, clean, curvy, light and I even love smelling like perfume.

Anyways. Do you dress to escape too??

[Jane G]

LoL, been there. I'm 6ft 4. 6ft 8 in decent size 13 uk heels. Spent pretty much my whole life working out, I love it. Still a 16. Could not pass for all the tea in china. I'm simply too big. GG's have it so easy.:heehee:

Just try to be yourself.

[Meg]

I recently read an article about passing. It was eye opening. It iterated just what many have said here, women come in all shapes and sizes. They are not all runway models. Do the the larger women not look fem? Of course they do. And any of us, with enough practice and preparation can too. Reading that article gave me a bit more hope in perfecting my fem self. I am built like a line backer at 6'3" and 250. I have met GG women who make me look small, yet they are very fem in their appearance. There is still hope for you and I Casey. Keep working it and soon we will be out there blending in too. Meg

[BiancaEstrella]

I am 6’3” 290 - on an NFL roster, I’d be listed as a defensive tackle, by height and weight alone, a long shot from my days as a 6’2” 190 free safety some 25 years ago - my size is something I’ve grown to be very proud of over the years. There are tall, large, and also feminine women in the world. We exist, I promise!

[Jodi79]

right there with. my 6-4 230 frame will never be feminine. however I don't do this to pass I do it because I love the look and feel and the way I feel in women's clothes. I gave up caring what I looked like in a dress a long time ago. I know it's not a pleasant sight but I don't care.

just enjoy!

[Verona]

I?m 5?7? and 180lb and I have great legs but broad shoulders, I sometimes wish I was taller so the shoulders were in proportion to my height.
I guess we can?t have it all. X

[Cassie2024]

Oh Casey, you touched something I think most of us deal with and one time or another. I am 5'6", was 258 lbs, but down to 215 lbs now, and trying to get to 170lbs. I have broad shoulder and a 44-inch chest, with what was a 42" waist, now hovering around a 38".... a virtual Pitbull with pretty eyes in boy mode. During one of my dressing sessions, I had the thought that in boy mode, i will never be masculine enough, in appearance, gestures, voice, etc... When I am dressed, I can never be feminine enough. I think one of the reasons I expanded my dressing to full feminine presentation is I wanted to look more feminine, and a simple blouse or skirt was not going to cut it. While my presentation has improved as the years passed, i know i will never reach the point of satisfaction. But you know what, that's ok. It's ok because my dysphoria will always motivate to improve my presentation, but more importantly, I feel so wonderful when presenting en femme. I feel feminine and people have interacted with me and responded to me as a female. I've been called ma'am, had doors opened for me, been given a peck on my cheek and told I was beautiful. So, I think once I resolve that my dressing isn't about achieving an image but rather reaching an emotional state of happiness and connection with myself, to become aware of who I am and present that way. Now, it's a constant battle, with all the images and advertising drowning us in a sea of beauty standards, it can be difficult to ignore the alure. But that battle is really something we all fight regardless of gender, sex, and constitution. Keep your head up, stand up straight dear, and one foot in front of the other, and go forward. :love:

[Sabine Janus]

Women come in all shapes and sizes.

Its not always about how you look, I'll NEVER pass. Its about how you feel

[danniUK]

You don't have to be petit to be feminine!
I'm 6'5", size 16 bottoms and 18/20 tops. In the right clothes I still fell feminine.

EDIT:
Imagine forgetting that international sizes differ and that most girls on here would be using US sizes!

I was of course quoting UK sizes, so I'm a 12 bottoms and 14-16 tops in US sizes.

[Lacy PJs]

I feel the same way... but maybe it's a blessing. Think of all of the money we save by not being able to buy all of the things we would like to have. :)

Lacy PJs

[Amelie]

My opinion, stay away from mirrors. I'm part Vampire so I am unable to use mirrors and am quite happy for that.

I don't think it's totally our size that matters. It's the people that make the clothes that mess up. I always had difficulty finding clothes that look right for me and I am 5'5.
The clothe makers seem to make clothes for a particular person in mind. My answer was to buy fabric and make my own clothes. Clothes that fit perfectly to my body.

Before I started sewing my clothes I would shop using a tape measure so I could measure what size would fit me. Besides trying on the clothes the size numbers on clothes weren't always correct to the measurements. A skirt might read size 7 but after measuring, it could actually be a size 8 or 10.

[CynthiaD]

Well, if you're too big to be a petite sexy woman, you have only one choice: be a great big sexy woman.

Rock the dress, Honey!

Hugs and kisses,
Cindy

[Stephanie47]

I'm six foot and 200+ pounds. I'm never going to pass as a woman. The once upon a time smooth skin is long gone. Aging is a reality. I forgo the butt and hip pads. I'm a dresses only woman. With the bust enhancement and dresses that do not have a defined waistline I have found plenty of dresses that please my eye when I gaze into a mirror from afar. I am basically an in-home dresser who has ventured out in the evening for a drive and a stroll when I yearn for more. In my past being six foot and 175 pounds was a chick-magnet. Today, if I was five foot six, it would be easy to mingle with the masses as an aging woman.

[Susan_Michaela]

I?m 6? but used to be 6? 2? as are a lot on here. I have ruptured disk in low back so figure that?s part of the reason I?ve lost a few inches but don?t mind or miss it. We all I assume wishes to be tall growing up but I never thought I?d end up a crossdresser but it is what it is and we live with it. I?m now happy I?m the way I am and have no regrets except that I waited so long to come out I feel so much healthier mentally since coming it wish I would have done it sooner. I?m 72 now and down to 175 from my former 265 so that alone is awesome as well plus I fit in cuter clothing than before the weight loss. Smaller sized clothes are so cute and fit so well I?m actually in a 9-10 size which equals a medium in women?s size. I think the best thing is being able to read about all the gals and their stories on here. Always been a help reading all the posts and comments from everyone. Rock on everyone.

[Stephj]

I am 5ft3in weight164 chest 46 waist 32 inches at 60 years old spent a lot of years bodybuilding and powerlifting I am trying to slim down some. Recently bought a flannel motorcycle jacket in a large my sister seen me wearing it a said I should have bought an extra large

[Sometimes Steffi]

Don't be jealous, but ... I guess one of the reasons that I'm comfortable going out dressed is that I'm a pretty average size for a woman. I'm 5'9 and 150 lbs, with a 32 inch waist. I typically wear a size 14 (XL) dress or top and a size 12 (L) pants. Since women's sizes are all over the place, sometimes I can even size down.

While I'm at the high end of average women's height, I'm probably of average weight. I guess I'm just lucky that I fit into and average GG height/weight profile.

[Suzie Petersen]

I am definetily at the tall and large end of the female spectrum at 5'11" and 170 lbs. I am pretty happy with that actually and while tall, I dont feel I stand out too much, especially when I chose to wear lower heels.
A couple of years ago, I was 210 lbs and felt terrible about myself.
Just the other day, I was out among a lot of people, wearing jeans and 4" platform shoes and nobody seemed to pay any unusual attention to me.
But, given the impossible choice, I sure would love to be 5'6" and 120 lbs, with a cute behind!
Well, a girl can dream, right.

[Karren H]

I'm 5'10 and shrinking as I get older,.

Gravity and old age always win! I have shrunk also, less than 5-9 now but I use to weigh 230! Decided to make a changes about 20 plus years ago and worked my ass off, ice skating and dry land training, eating good. Dropped to 170 in 9 months and could fit into a size 10! I miss this skinny days. Gained a few pounds since then but working in that right now. I also did some corset tight lacing to give myself a more feminine outline (currently back wearing a corset) and of coarse I have been growing my breasts (currently a 36DD). So what I am saying is you can change a lot of things to make yourself appear more feminine! Maybe not petite but certainly within one standard deviation of the average female! You just have to want it and work hard for it.

[ColleenA]

Yin: Cassie2024, you said something that really spoke to me: "my dressing isn't about achieving an image but rather reaching an emotional state of happiness and connection with myself ..." That hits at the heart of it - accepting myself for who I am, regardless. (And I decided to add that to my signature.)

Yang: The flip side, though, comes in a comment here from Stephanie47: "if I was five foot six, it would be easy to mingle with the masses as an aging woman." Well, I'm five foot eight, and my goal when I do go out is to do just that - mingle as a 65-year-old woman. So the image does matter as well.
Earlier this week, I was out of town and stopped by a thrift store. I found a lovely fancy white dress for a great price. When I went to pay for it, I saw that the line stretched forever. It turns out that the store offered everything for 50% off each Wednesday, thus the line. Because the dress was that much more of a bargain, I chose to wait through the line. The wait went past an hour. However, I struck up a conversation with the lady next to me, about my age as well. We passed the time chatting about kids, grandkids, jobs, where we were from, where we live now, and on and on. I doubt that would have happened if I was in drab and buying the dress as supposedly a Halloween costume.

[prene]

Yes, you are not alone.
I do wish I did have a smaller frame(just to blend in better), but Women do come in all sizes.
My last gf was 5'10" but yes a smaller frame. I wear sz 12 jeans, she wore sz 8's but sometimes wore my gg jeans.

For me just not being a standout is GREAT for me.

[DianeT]

Cassie, my grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand aunt Gudrun Haraldsdottir, at 6'3" and 240 pounds, ice-blue eyes and blonde hair, was as feminine as it gets when she was busy gutting and smoking fish in her exquisite 40% linen and 60% wool apron dress and fish oil-coated reindeer leather boots. She just wasn't a fragile thing. My wife is the size of an average man here and isn't a fragile thing either. When she puts on wedges, she towers at more than 6 feet, not far from my own size, and I love it when we go outside like this. Keep the spirits up.

[Maria 60]

I was just commenting to my sister in law the pressures my niece must be going through trying to maintain a body to keep up with the teenage fashion. The low cut tops with what you would have to have a thin stomach and really short shorts.
My sister in law did comment on the pressure her daughter is feeling because she has heavy set body and trying to maintain this isn't easy for her and having to deal with this at a young age. My wife was 110 pounds when I meet her and after having children her body took some changes and just in life everything slows down. She knows what to wear to make herself look good but does comment that most clothing she buys looks better on a thin set women.
During the Covid I had gained a few pounds and started realizing that everything was starting to feel tight, but mostly on my fem stuff. I had to buy new bras and no matter what I bought it just didn't feel right. I had lost some weight and all at once it just felt like everything felt more comfortable, dresses were falling nicer and showing nicer lines. For myself my only real women feature are my legs and when wearing a dress with open shoulders or spaghetti straps I have to wear a sweater with it to hide my arms. Imagine I'm feeling uncomfortable with my fem body and I don't even walk out the door.

[chrissy111]

I have a very good GG friend who is 6'4 tall. She owns it and looks Fabulous!!!

[Claire M]

Casey ... this too shall pass. There are times when I'm completely dressed in a fantastic outfit and full makeup and getting that same feeling. Fortunately there are a lot of other times when simply wearing a pair of panties makes me feel good. I think we all probably have our good days and bad. If your not feeling it, put it away for another day.

[Cheryl T]

We would all love to be slender and a model. We'd love to have everything just fit perfect and look fabulous.
To walk into a shoe store where all the displays are size 7 and just take it and slip it on for the perfect fit. To see an outfit on a model, order it and have it fit and look the same.
Reality is we can't. Some can, that lucky few who have those genes, but not the rest of us.
It takes time to become comfortable in your own skin and accept that while we don't look like the ideal woman, we are the ideal woman for us.

[HollyGreene]

I have very broad shoulders which I always thought would be the thing that stopped me from looking feminine.
But then I discovered that some clothes are better than others at disguising such characteristics.
I have found 4 brands of dresses that actually make me look good - Quiz, Capsule, F&F, and Klass. They just seem to fit my body shape well. Those brands might not work for others - it's a case of finding the ones that work for you.
I have dressed by other brands which I love to wear, but if I'm going to go out, I'll stick with one from my top 4 brands because I know that I'm more likely to pass.
To misquote an old proverb: "The right clothes maketh the woman".

[Heather1]

I'm 6' 1or 2", weight has dropped over the years from 300# to present at 185#, wife and I recently went to Vegas, I was dressed every day, even to fancy dinners, shows, playing poker at the tables, in a dress, skirt outfit, etc. wife was with me, we walked a lot and I was dressed, we went to Freemont street experience in full makeup, a skirt, women's top, stockings, women's loafers jewelry, rings, bracelets had dinner and walked about. the only time out of 7 days I didn't dress was when we went to the Grand Canyon that was 1 day, but after we returned, I changed into Heather. some stares, but we just kept walking.

[candice_cain]

We'd all like to have a thinner waist and bigger bottoms. We're built the way we're built. There are a lot of attractive women out there with broad shoulders.
The funny thing is you never know how something will look or feel on you till you try it on.
You just have to learn to be comfortable and beautiful in your own skin.
I think it's hard for all of us to be "accepting" of ourselves in may regards.