Words have meanings

[Helen_Highwater]

There's a steady stream of posts about members being "caught". But is caught the right word? Caught is used when the police apprehend a criminal, a wrong doer. Should we instead use a different word, say discovered?

I know this may seem a little pedantic however if we feel that what we're doing isn't wrong for us, it's in our DNA, then for what ever reason we've chosen to keep it hidden then caught implies fault lies with us. We do no physical harm to anyone, life around us goes on unhindered while we stay within 4 walls. Even for those who go out it's only a small minority of the general population who seem to have any real problems with our presence.

And continuing to use caught heaps a sense of blame on ourselves and I suspect holds our community back from being more open and forward.

[Suzie Petersen]

That is a good point, Helen, I agree.

[docrobbysherry]

Caught is used properly if a dresser is caught completely dressed by a family member, neighbor, or close friend that had no idea the person was a trans/crossdtresser? Yes!

Partially dressed? Probably not. U could have just been trying on something just for the heck of it.

If strangers see u dressed up while out? No!

If someone sees your tites under your pants or top straps at work? No! U could be wearing those for any number of reasons.

If someone sees your painted nails? No! U could have been playing with your daughter, niece, or granddaughter.

If your wife, friend, or relative who knows u dress sees u dressed in some new way? No!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Hellen :hugs:, How about Discovered instead of Caught, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Stephanie47]

If you're trying to conceal something you do not want known, then you have been caught. I don't think legality necessarily has anything to do with it.

[alwayshave]

Helen, According to my Oxford dictionary one of the secondary definitions of caught is: (of a person) unexpectedly find oneself in (an unwelcome situation). That would seem to be how we find ourselves when "caught".

[CharlotteCD]

I consider it "caught in the act" which is therefore correct.

[Genifer Teal]

I've taken it a different way. Caught to me means you are caught hiding something, not to say what you were doing was wrong, but the act of hiding it from your wife was wrong. I'm not in that situation. I didn't put myself in that situation.I didn't want to be in that situation.Can't imagine how you all do that.The stories i've heard here of i've done this and my wife doesn't know.I just can't, imagine. on some level I can, but existing that way must be difficult.

[SophiaRose]

A year ago I would have used the word "caught" since my crossdressing was still strongly tied to embarrassment and guilt of hiding my actions from others. Living in fear for 40+ years was no way to live and now that I've focused on a journey self acceptance the word "discovered" would be more apropos. There's absolutely nothing wrong with our authentic selves and changing our mindset from being "caught" to being "discovered" represents growth in the right direction. I'm looking forward to the day when I'm not hiding anything anymore and so the word "discovered" will be a ridiculous notion.

[Brynna M]

I agree with Genifer. It more about being caught hiding something.

[chrissy111]

I'm with Genifer, not in a situation to be caught. Last time I was caught doing something was playing Hide and Seek.

[Shelly Preston]

I think Discovered is maybe a better word.

However I suspect "Caught" is more to do with being "Caught Out".

This is usually under circumstances where the person expected the dressing to kept it hidden.

[Debs]

Helen Highwater, any word you like will not stop us dressing, caught , discovered, it depends on how you handle being discovered, a word wont sort it out. but talking will

[NancySue]

Caught, discovered, found out, surprised, fate, fortuitous, etc. whatever, the results are the same. If she doesn?t know, it?s the beginning of a whole new experience.