The Real goal of crossdressers!

[wo-MAN]

All of the threads of shopping for clothes or going out enfem are all nice and all, but is it are goal to look like women or to get the world to accpt us as people who are diffrent. Throughout history people of all different sorts deided to make a stand and be accepted as equals through differences (i.e. blacks, women, gays). Now I think that it is time the crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and tansgeners male female and 2nd sex males/females should find a way through non-violent means to get accepted instead of trying to pass as as a memberr of a different sex. I know that it will be very hard but if others can do it then so can we.:smug:

[RhondaLynn]

When I first started my adventure into women's attire as a child, I was only interested in lingerie. Slips & hosiery were my passion. Later, as I began my self-discovery of who I was and where this passion could take me, I moved up to outerwear - dresses, skirts, heels. I wasn't really interested in outerwear then, so i reverted back to my lingerie passion.

As I've gotten older, I've learned to enjoy completing the experience. I now wear a bra, breasts, a blouse, skirt & heels when Rhonda feels the urge.

I'm not trying to 'look like a woman' per se, but more so, I'm trying to 'complete' the experience of 'feeling like a woman', at least as she does when wearing such attire. For me, it's more of a curiosity that's evolved into a desire. I see the women @ work in their skirts & hose. They look actractive. They have characteristic body language when in skirts & hose. I always wondered what it felt like to them - how their legs felt as they crossed them, what it must feel like to go through the day with the constant sensual feel of their garments. I wanted to experience it for myself. Once I did, I found that i truly enjoyed it. Some women despise wearing such attire daily, and don't understand why we desire to. That is the point exactly. They have been doing it daily for years, and have grown tired of it. To me, it's an escape into another perception of reality - one that I enjoy.

I've never tried to 'pass' as a woman, but I have strived to replicate many of their features, the the way they move when dressed, the outlines of their breasts against their blouse. I wondered what it must feel like to have breasts, so I began wearing a bra, breasts, and a blouse to see. I liked the way it felt, the way my breasts moved & felt, the sensual curves they added to my outfit - they completed the 'look & feel' of experience.

I have developed a greater admiration & respect for women after crossing over to their side. Yes, hose can become uncomfortable after hours of wearing them. Yes, it's hard to walk in heels, but I really enjoy it occasionally. Women have an insatiable urge to shop for clothes. I never understood this until I crossed over. I now have more women's clothes than men's. My SO asked me once "How many times are you going to change clothes tonite?" "Until I find an outfit that feels right - that matches my mood." I told her.

I have accepted Rhonda as my feminine half, and allow her to express herself as she feels fit when she feels like it. I love to watch her (me) get dressed, then admire her looks - I guess I'm attracted to her in a way, since she dresses in the style that I find attractive. And the best part of the experience is that I get to experience how it feels to dress as she does.

The enjoyment of watching her dress up in an attractive outfit, admiring her once she's dressed, and experiencing how it feels to wear & move around in the outfit is what it's all about for me. And of course, shopping for lingerie & outfits is another experience altogether. That is a task that must be mastered over time. But, again, shopping in the mall's lingerie department is an experience that once mastered, can become an obsession as well.

[sharifemme]

Wo...

I agree. I couldn't care less if I am accepted as a man or a woman. I am either both or neither. People are going to have to start looking at the total package and decide whether I am worth knowing as a person or not. At times I present myself as male and others, as female. BUT I am the same person no matter how the cloth in my clothing is cut and put together or whether or not I wear makeup and perfume.

I don't ever worry about passing as one sex or the other. For me, it's hard enough to pass as me!

Sharifemme



All of the threads of shopping for clothes or going out enfem are all nice and all, but is it are goal to look like women or to get the world to accpt us as people who are diffrent. Throughout history people of all different sorts deided to make a stand and be accepted as equals through differences (i.e. blacks, women, gays). Now I think that it is time the crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and tansgeners male female and 2nd sex males/females should find a way through non-violent means to get accepted instead of trying to pass as as a memberr of a different sex. I know that it will be very hard but if others can do it then so can we.:smug:

[Lawren]

I totally concur. No two people in the world are exactly the same so why do people have so much resistance over differences? CDs are just different people, nothing more, nothing less but we still have to win our acceptance in society. What a srewwy world! :idontknow:

[MarinaTwelve200]

All of the threads of shopping for clothes or going out enfem are all nice and all, but is it are goal to look like women or to get the world to accpt us as people who are diffrent. Throughout history people of all different sorts deided to make a stand and be accepted as equals through differences (i.e. blacks, women, gays). Now I think that it is time the crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and tansgeners male female and 2nd sex males/females should find a way through non-violent means to get accepted instead of trying to pass as as a memberr of a different sex. I know that it will be very hard but if others can do it then so can we.:smug:

Yes, but CROSSDRESSING is just THAT---only wearing the clothing of ones opposite biosex, for WHATEVER reason----perhaps because one is transgendered, transsexual or gay, but THOSE are OTHER issues, aside from clothing choices. Some of us have FETISHES others are playing with "identity escapisim", etc. Crossdressing is a SYMPTOM or an outgrowth of many different conditions, many not related to sex or idenity at all, not a condition in itself. So one cannot put all people who crossdress into any one grouping such as a "third sex".

Crossdressing is something we DO for various reasons, not something one might "be". One might COUGH, for example, because they MIGHT have a cold, Tuberculosis or even clearing one's throat, One cannot ascribe the action of "coughing" as a condition in itself, but arising from other factors. Its a SYMPTOM of something else, just as crossdressing is. To call someone a "crossdresser" makes as much sense as calling someone a "cougher" it really means NOTHING unless the "WHY" is included. you can't assume one who Crossdresses is "transgendered" any more than one can assume a person who coughs has TB.

[melissacd]

Rhonda,

You have made some excellent points here. To me being a cross dresser is not about being a woman or trying to pass as a woman, but rather it is about many of the things that woman take for granted that we are attracted to and want to emulate and enjoy as well. In as much as I enjoy wearing a bra sometimes to complete the experience, I am also finding that I can enjoy just wearing femme things acknowledging the male biology that is underneath and doing the best that I can with that. It still gives me the experience and yet does not raise the issue of "why would you want to wear a bra when you don't have breasts". I am trying to express myself both ways.

To me it is about the experience, the sensations, the range of expression, the colors. It gives us a window into a world that we love, it gives us a way to better express a part of who we are. I have noted some of the key points that you made (I have done some editorializing) that I thought summed up much of it for me:

- experiencing how a woman feels when wearing such attire
- a sense of curiosity about the feminine experience and point of view
- a voyage of self discovery of our feminine side
- experiencing the body language of wearing skirts, heels and hosiery
- the enjoyment of the sensual nature of feminine garments.
- an escape into a different (and enjoyable) perception of reality
- experiencing movement when dressed - weight, volume and movement of breasts, the sensation of fabrics, the different way the structure of the clothes tugs and pulls and stretches, sensual curves
- it helps us garner a greater admiration and respect for women and a greater appreciation of the efforts they make to enhance their already beautiful bodies
- an understanding and appreciation for why women have an insatiable urge to shop for clothes
- an understanding of how clothes having a feeling of rightness that resonates with our various moods and emotions

Thanks for giving us yet more insights into why we love women so much that we want to emulate them.

Huggs
Melissa

[Toni Shelton]

I have to keep mine short.
I dress to feel, as the woman inside would feel.
I try and dress like women my age, life style, and up bringing.
I try to be the woman I think I would have been, if I had been born with the body of the gender inside me. Even as a child, I wondered why the girls got to play with dolls and I didnt. I knew what I had between my legs and thought the other girls did too. I didnt think I was like the boys down there.
I was a 6 year old kid wanting to be homecoming Queen.

[Christina Nicole]

I can't speak for anyone else. But my real goal is to have more shoes than Imelda Marcos, more gowns than Cher, more makeup than Tammy Fay (but not worn all at once as she did!), etc.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[maid phylis]

I have to keep mine short.
I dress to feel, as the woman inside would feel.
I try and dress like women my age, life style, and up bringing.
I try to be the woman I think I would have been, if I had been born with the body of the gender inside me. Even as a child, I wondered why the girls got to play with dolls and I didnt. I knew what I had between my legs and thought the other girls did too. I didnt think I was like the boys down there.
I was a 6 year old kid wanting to be homecoming Queen.
dear cindy ,i agree with you 100%.this is exactly as i feel and i dress just like you and when i was a kid i always had a feeling that i was different ,especially when i came home from school and i put on my mothers lingerie..love phylisanne:doll:

[Melanie R]

All of the threads of shopping for clothes or going out enfem are all nice and all, but is it are goal to look like women or to get the world to accpt us as people who are diffrent. Throughout history people of all different sorts deided to make a stand and be accepted as equals through differences (i.e. blacks, women, gays). Now I think that it is time the crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and tansgeners male female and 2nd sex males/females should find a way through non-violent means to get accepted instead of trying to pass as as a memberr of a different sex. I know that it will be very hard but if others can do it then so can we.:smug:

Yes, we can be accepted in society if we dress and act with dignity. On April 9 our group of 9 crossdressers and 10 wives and family members including my brother and sister-in-law returned from a 7 night cruise to Jamaica, Cayman and Cozumel. We were a small group among 3500 other passengers. Most of the CD's stayed enfemme throughout the cruise and even in Jamaica where we were called "shemen" with praise and not condemnation. My wife thought that the acceptance rate among the other passengers was 95%. We could only remember one negative statement from a "christian" who told one of our CD's she could not accept our sinful lifestyle. Many passengers smiled, wanted to be in pictures with us and enjoyed our company at dinner and in the 22 bars and lounges on this mega ship. We educated MANY people positively about the transgendered community. Now we look forward to our next Dignity cruise - an 8 night Halloween cruise out of Los Angeles October 28. Send me a private email if you want more info on the next cruise. A picture of the group is below.

Melanie

[DonnaT]

All of the threads of shopping for clothes or going out enfem are all nice and all, but is it are goal to look like women or to get the world to accpt us as people who are diffrent. Throughout history people of all different sorts deided to make a stand and be accepted as equals through differences (i.e. blacks, women, gays). Now I think that it is time the crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and tansgeners male female and 2nd sex males/females should find a way through non-violent means to get accepted instead of trying to pass as as a memberr of a different sex. I know that it will be very hard but if others can do it then so can we.:smug:
One way to do this is through political activism, and if necessary, demonstrations.

Activism isn't that hard, just takes volunteering one's time and takes patience to get results. Results are occuring slowly in states, cities, employers.

Demonstrations take courage. Courage to be seen as either gender varient (including gender expression) or supportive of those who are. The problem is, many are not even able to come out to their family, wives, girlfiends or boyfriends, so getting a large enough group to put on a peaceful, notice us, demonstration is a tremendous undertaking in and of itself.

[stephanie100]

Organisation BUT not just in the USA or UK global is the only way to go as to the threads on make up clothes that is a part of who we are if we didnt ask questions of our peers who can we ask?
To be stephenie is what i would wish not him. that is why im here at last after 40 years of dressing Im at the stage now where I dont care if the world knows of stephenie she is who i am who i want to be.

Good luks if you have the time and energy required for an effectiveb campaign
Steph

[Karren H]

Depends if we are trying to look and pass like members of the opposite sex or just trying to be ourselves and dress how we like to dress!! I perfer the latter and because I strive to look like the best woman I can, I could care less if I get read or not, or care if I'm accepted or not! Going out in public just affirms to me that I'm looking like I want to look. Not imatating someone else!

Love Karren

[HaleyPink2000]

Karen H, Sis! Where are those books at, been waiting weeks. LOLOL:)

Ok to the subject I just try to look as nice as I can. It's a time consuming task for me as I am a 235 lb guy and really try to diet as much as possible. But the lack of hormone controle from a burnt up thyroide took care of me big time. It's like so hard to look nice if your a larger person. But Girls I try! Believe me I try.

But as for getting Read. I probably do all the time. But I have a keen sence of humor and always try to ignore most bad things going on around me. Like the teen age girls in the Jewlery shops at the mall. I have not even had problems with them. Not even a glance. The only person that ever got to me was this dark Woman and her kid that just push their way through people and have no concern for others. I know you have seen many people like these. The ones that just plow right in front of you. Well that did happen to me and I said to Her in my Most Male voice " Excuse Me Ma'am". Gawd was She supprised. LOLOL:)

Oh well Hugs my Sisters on the Forum. Your all wonderful. :)

[gennee]

I want all people in the transgender umbrella to come together and secure our equality. We are people, too. I love being 'Gennee' and dress whenever I can. I will be going out in public shortly for the first time. I'm not concerned whether or not I will pass, but to express the feminine side of me. Since discovering my own transgenderism, I want to help others in their self discovery and acceptance of their true selves.

Gennee

[livy_m_b]

Yes, we can be accepted in society if we dress and act with dignity. Melanie

Most of the reasons people give for wearing the clothing of or otherwise emulating the other gender just make my head spin. It seems like somehow everyone is missing the point. Moreover, it seems when I try to describe or explain it I also miss the point. We're all trying to describe a feeling, emotion, thought that is not general in the population at large so there's not a ready-made vocabulary for it. I suspect if we could get to the origins of the whole thing we (tv, tg and ts) would find we are more alike than different, and that our apparent differences are more a matter of a difference in personality, experience, degree of introspection, and the like, than anything else. Dressing and acting with dignity seems to cut thru a lot of that and leave us where we should be.

[Sally24]

I can only speak for myself. Personally, when I'm dressing, I want to feel and be treated like I "am" a woman. It's not about the clothes, although they are much nicer and have a greater range than men's. I am not a TS but not to far from that edge either. When I started, I thought of this as a sexual thing, but the more I do it, the LESS sexual it becomes to me! I am just trying to feel and express as the woman that is a large part of my personallity.

If you want to dress and be accepted as a man wearing women's clothes, more power to you. My goal is to just go out and experience life as a woman, not to make a political or social statement. I'm not acting out, just trying to find a way to live my life with what's in my head without going crazy! O.K., without going too crazy.

[wo-MAN]

what i'm trying to figure out is if we are going to earn respect like other minority groups or be classified under one because we as a collective are unwilling to come out and state we are different. the ore we try to pass the less we are trying to get accepted as males dressed as females and accepted as males trying to be females just to be di. i am not good with words but just my0.02

[sharifemme]

what i'm trying to figure out is if we are going to earn respect like other minority groups or be classified under one because we as a collective are unwilling to come out and state we are different. the ore we try to pass the less we are trying to get accepted as males dressed as females and accepted as males trying to be females just to be di. i am not good with words but just my0.02



You're great with words and I see your point, but do we really have to draw a distinction here? Aren't we all transgender?

By the way, I said your words are great but your typing could use just a little work. LOL! I know, I know, I'm kind of anal-retentive about spelling!

Shari

[wo-MAN]

no i am not trans gender. trans gender is a male wanting to be female but does not want sugery

[Siobhan Marie]

I'm not transgendered, I know I'm not, I am a crossdresser. I don't know what makes do this, I really don't, if I knew I'd tell you all. What I do know is that it feels so right. I just want to respected and loved for who I am. Its is a part of me that will never go away. I don't need to pass, I have enough trouble working out who I am at times. I thought that my needs extended as far as panties, nighties and other lingerie and that was it, but the CD in me is really starting to come out, which is great and my needs are changing all the time. By that I mean I need to shave my legs and buy outer clothes ie skirts and other things, I want shoes and boots as well.

[stephanie100]

I think this is the point of the exercise Bruey and Wo man If i understand the original post correctly we are seperated by differant titles ie Trsans gendered, cross dressers trans sexual. yet in some cases someone can move from say cross dresser to transgendered because they have discovered another part of their fem side yet we are all part of the same collective group.
We need a word that does not fragment us into smaller groups.
The gay populous took the word Gay to replace other more derogative discriptions. perhaps we should do the same.

[Jasmine Ellis]

No matter how you look at it, a cd is just that. I love the clothes, the make-up, the high heels. You can dress beautifully, your face feels nice and looks great, you walk in those high heels like they belong on your feet. You just want to be who you are when out, I know under these clothes I'm a man, BUT, if my little magget don't grow no one will know............:D

[Siobhan Marie]

No matter how you look at it, a cd is just that. I love the clothes, the make-up, the high heels. You can dress beautifully, your face feels nice and looks great, you walk in those high heels like they belong on your feet. You just want to be who you are when out, I know under these clothes I'm a man, BUT, if my little magget don't grow no one will know............:D

You've hit the nail on the head! Couldn't have put it better myself

[TGMarla]

It would be good to have universal acceptance, of course, but when I dress, were I to go out, I wouldn't want others to say, "Oh, look at the pretty crossdresser." I'd rather they see me as just some woman that they don't know, and move on. So my goal would be to pass completely. I absolutely would not want to stand out in a crowd and draw unneccessary attention to myself.