Oh my god. My first time in public next week

[Verona]

My wife has booked a night in a hotel next week for us on the night of a meet up with other dressers.
I am so excited but so nervous. We have been toying with the idea for months as they have monthly gatherings. But now it is booked I am kinda dreading it. I really want to do it as it is what I have always wanted, as most of us do, to be accepted and respected as our alter ego/dresser.


I really need some reassurance and kind words to get me through the next 8 days until what feels like D Day.

Helppppp xxx

[chelyann]

dont stress about it, go and you will have a great time

[JocelynJames]

I?ve been to one event with all dressers(probably 40-50) and some SOs. It was so fun. Don?t stress, just be you . Probably first timers , but definitely those that can relate and will reassure you. Keep us informed!

[CynthiaD]

It might be stressful for the first couple of minutes, but very quickly it will seem normal and natural.

[Suzie Petersen]

It will be fun! The next day, you will be wondering what the big fuss and nervousness was about, and you will be kicking yourself for not having started going much sooner.
As Cynthia said, after the first few minutes, it will all feel normal and fine.

And as the saying goes, enter the room like you own the place!
It is a group meeting so people are there to socialize. Even if you feel nervous, walk up to people or groups of people, introduce yourself and you will be making friends in no time.

[docrobbysherry]

My heart was beating like a drum as I prepared to open the door of mky hotel room the very first time!:eek:

Would someone be out in the hall? No.:)

After a long walk to the elevator I hersitated to press the button. Would it be filled with drunk, redneck, homophobes? It wasn't. Altho I felt all their eyes on my back!:straightface:

Then, out the elevator door to the bar where all the T girls were gathered. It was a long walk. But, I just looked straight ahead and walked fast!:straightface:

ten, I met all the girls I had chatted with online. Ordered a drink and had my best evening ever dressed!:hugs:

That was 20 years ago and I've done this a 100 times since that first time. And, I still get excited when I first enter the room where the girls r all gathered!:battingeyelashes:

The other stuff isn't a worry anymore!:thumbsup: Go and have fun, Varona!:heehee:

[alwayshave]

Verona, The thoughts in your mind are way worse than anything you will face. Take a deep breath and relax. You'll have a great day.

[kimdl93]

You will be fine. Between now and then, prepare yourself as best you can and discuss your apprehensions with your wife. Then put your mind to other things so that your are not dwelling upon and exaggerating imaginary fears.

[Geena75]

I felt pretty nervous the first time I attended a group meeting. Once I got in, though, it hit me that everyone there was doing the same thing I was, and everyone knew. I could really relax and not have to worry about being 'found out.' It has always been a great experience for me.

[Mercedes]

I have never done what you anre about to do, so I completely feel your anxiety. But, I am also so jealous that this is something you are going to do and with a supportive spouse. Stay excited and nervous, but lose the dread and I am sure will have a blast with the most supportive people you would want to meet.

[BiancaEstrella]

Okay, so

Firstly, congratulations on taking these first steps
Secondly, very grateful that you have someone with you to be your co-pilot, you’re not going alone

Now, for the group dynamics

There will be others just like you there, who either felt your nervousness or still do
But you’re all gathered for a positive cause and you’re doing nothing wrong

You know yourself quite well after living with yourself your whole life
You have positive personality traits and others will be happy to know you
Lead with a smile, you’re doing something you love (and how!)

You got this

It’s going to be so much fun

Pick yourself a cute outfit with some fun accessories and your favorite shoes
And smile

You can do it ❤️❤️❤️

[JessicaCD1964]

I'm happy that you are able to attend a gathering and be with a group of like minded individuals. However I'm the CT area and can find absolutely no resources or support groups for CDers. It's very frustrating.

[bridget thronton]

Enjoy yourself - you have a great wife

[danniUK]

You'll be absolutely fine and have a lovely time - like Suzie said you'll be wondering what you were worried about!

I'll be in the exact same position next year, my wife's booked us a weekend away so I can go out dressed for the first time. It's at a Pride event so I'm less worried than I might ordinarily be!

[Verona]

That?s great news Danni. Where in the uk is it?
I?m uk too x

[Shelly Preston]

Verona

Take deep breaths and relax.

Everyone there had the same experience of it being their first time.

I am sure they will be super supportive. I also met a few partners or parents of those attending

It's hard to remember not knowing them.

I hope you have a great time.

[Jillcder]

Verona, you are very fortunate to have your wife participating in your Crossdressing just relax and enjoy your first outing as a lady the feeling is awesome! Also dressing in public is very addicting enjoy the ride.

[danniUK]

That?s great news Danni. Where in the uk is it?
I?m uk too x

Always nice to hear from another Brit girl!
It's in Birmingham - sufficiently far enough from home for us to be anonymous and coincides with my birthday month. It's kind of a birthday present from her!

[Verona]

That is fab Danni.
Hope you enjoy every minute.
I may start to attend some pride events too x

Thanks ladies for the moral support x

[ColleenA]

Verona,
From your post, it is obvious that your wife is supportive. That is wonderful.
Remember that women will generally give themselves a look-over as they head out somewhere, especially if they are looking extra nice. Before you leave for the gathering, be sure to ask her to do that for you and give you any pointers that will help.

However, though you say you two will have the night in the hotel, it's not clear whether she will be joining you at the gathering. At some of these events, wives are invited along. If so, I would encourage it. Not only can she continue to show her support (and having her there might help you just get through the door if you have serious hesitations), she could meet other wives and receive her own separate support for her part in all this.
Thinking about all this, I guess I am just elaborating the statement at the bottom of my posts. :)

[Keremy]

Why stress?

First of all you have your wife?s support something majority of us can only dream about. Give her a big hug of gratitude from all of us.

Second you are going to an event that is for people like us and is very excepting. Embrace it and enjoy yourself.

Third. Put on your big girl panties. :battingeyelashes: Be confident you have the love of your wife who would not let you do this if you were going to embarrass yourself. The people who will be attending are like you and will only think the best of you. You go sister and make us proud.

[Jean O]

As someone doing this alone be very thankful for your wife. Iy is a blessing. Not put on your brave face and smile. Huggs

[Jenn A116]

I highly encourage you to go. Yes, it's terrifying. But it is also exhilarating. The terror will fade. You'll remember the exhilaration.

[chrissy111]

Having your wife by your side should help you feel more relaxed. Have a great time.

[NancySue]

Couldn?t say it any better than several other posts. I felt anxiety, nervous the first 3 times. Having a supportive wife for reassurance helped immensely. Go out. Have fun, enjoy.

[Amy Randal]

Enjoy it. Getting out in public is one of the most enjoyable things about dressing, once you get past the nervousness.

[Cheryl T]

I remember my first time like that. With my wife, attending a group meeting.
I felt like all eyes were on me ... they weren't. That's all in your mind.
Be confident, hold your head up, show that you belong there just like any place else, any other time. This is no different. Your presentation is female, but nothing else has changed. Walk through the hotel as you would any other time. This is no different. Confidence.
Don't scan the room to see who is watching you. They probably aren't. Just be you and enjoy the evening.

[Celine 9]

I have been a stay inside crossdresser for much of life. My first time outside was taking selfies of myself dressed as Wonder Woman. To me, going outside means a lot to me because it helps me to get out of the house. This was 3 years ago. I have been outside 4 times this year mainly to mail letters and to get the mail. In other words, I just outside to stay close to my house. Going outside dressed takes time. The more you go out dressed the better. The 4 times that I have been dressed took place when everyone else was gone. Please plan accordinlly when you go outside dressed when the time of day is right for you.

[Helen_Highwater]

It might be stressful for the first couple of minutes, but very quickly it will seem normal and natural.

Exactly,

I remember the first group meeting I went to held in a hotel. It had a marble floor so as I walked in the click of my heels sounded like gunfire to me. Walking into the room I could see people just like me. Having introduced myself to the organiser I found a table, asked if I could join the 6 or 8 gathered around, sat down, started to chat and literally in minutes it seemed the most natural thing in the world to be doing.

Don't over think it. All will be good.

[Verona]

Hi Helen
I am going to lynx ladies next Friday.
I?ve tried replying to your messages but I do not know if I am doing it correctly x

[Natalie5004]

Remember to use an anti perspirent

[JoyceAnn]

It's normal to have butterflies. Usually, the other dressers will make an effort to put you at ease and to welcome you to the group. It's a sisterhood and the sisters tend to take care of each other. The nervousness should pass. Above all, have fun doing what you have always wanted to do. Hugs!

[Verona]

Thank you to all. You have really helped.
Hugs x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Verona :hugs:, You are so Blessed to have such a Special Wonderful:love:Wife,

She will have your Back,mEnjoy yourself.>>>>>>>>>>Orcchid*O:daydreaming:O**

[Raychel]

That sounds like a great time away.
I would feel the same, so nervous and anxious
If I could force myself to go I bet it would be super fun.

Let us know how it went. :)

[Stephanie47]

Verona, just remember you're going to be among like minded thinkers and there is strength in numbers. When I was younger I would have jumped at the chance. When my wife and I had "The Talk" she told me to join a support group. I looked but there was none to be found in the early 1980's.

[Sandi Beech]

Here is a tip you will want to remember. If you notice someone wearing an item that you like, pay that person a sincere compliment. It is a great ice breaker for conversations with GGs and CDs alike. For those who are shy, engaging in friendly conversation will help you relax a lot. I was once fearful and shy, but you would not know that from my posts ; )

We process these things in our head all the time. Oh how I like her makeup etc. but we fail to tell the person. I complement people all the time now, and it really does work. Give it a try.

Sandi

[Debbie Denier]

Go for it, you will be fine Verona. If I remember correctly Lynx ladies is in Lincolnshire . There are a couple of members of this board that attend the group. I was invited there when I first joined CD. Com but couldnt make it as I live on the opposite coast.Look forward to hearing about your trip.

[Glenda58]

The first time is the hardest, but you have the support of your wife that most of done have. Enjoy your first time it will be one of many.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm happy that you are able to attend a gathering and be with a group of like minded individuals. However I'm the CT area and can find absolutely no resources or support groups for CDers. It's very frustrating.

There are at least a couple of groups in CT. Scarlett's Makeovers and Tiffany Leigh's GORGEOUS Party. Plus, last time I checked (LOL), CT is close to MA. Check out "The First Event" in the Boston area in January. Just sayin'.



I remember my first time like that. With my wife, attending a group meeting.
I felt like all eyes were on me ... they weren't. That's all in your mind.
Be confident, hold your head up, show that you belong there just like any place else, any other time. This is no different. Your presentation is female, but nothing else has changed. Walk through the hotel as you would any other time. This is no different. Confidence.
Don't scan the room to see who is watching you. They probably aren't. Just be you and enjoy the evening.

I don't remember my first event exactly, but I met a member from here IRL. And she introduced me to a couple of friends, and they introduced me to a couple of friends until I had a dozen local friends like me. I used to go out with them regularly when my wife was out of town. We did go to a gay bar, so there was some inherent safety. My wife never joined me, so you have a built-in wing woman.

Now, we typically meet up at the restaurant/bar at a local hotel. It's a public place and I've had may great interactions with GGs there. A couple of times, a group of teenagers even joined our group to meet us.

Now, I'm out pretty often. and have and I have no fear or nervousness, unless I go out alone in a strange place.

One piece of advice that I was given. Walk in, standing tall, tits first, head up, with a big smile. Don't wear heels higher than you can realistically handle. You don't want to wobble or fall.

[Helena]

Hi Verona, we are looking forward to meeting you both this Friday.

First time is nerve wracking. I thought I was going to have a heart attack the first time my partner got me out the door, and my initial solo visit to Lynx I got to the carpark and nearly went home, but thankfully another member spotted me and walked me in.

I doubt you could have picked a better event. The hotel is very LBGTQ friendly. We are in a private room a couple of yards from the bar. Our members are very friendly and welcoming, with such a mix and with quite a few wives and partners.

Try to relax and enjoy what will become a lasting memory, and not overthink.

[Verona]

Thank you Helena
That has made me feel so much more confident.
X

[Helen_Highwater]

Verona,

I've been fortunate to meet Helena a couple of times. Trust me, you're in good hands.

As Helena says, don't over think it. After you've been with the group for only a few minutes you'll feel right at home and wondering what all the fuss was. Oh, and the first time you go to the bar and order drinks.......savour that moment.

[Verona]

Thanks Helen
You?re amazing. I will savour that moment for sure x