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danniUK
10-14-2024, 07:51 AM
Next year my wife's taking me to a pride event for my birthday which will be my first ever public outing while en femme.

Hotel and transport are all arranged, the one thing that isn't settled yet is childcare. I'll be asking my sister if our son can have a 2 night sleepover (her kids are a similar age).

I've thought long and hard about it and decided to tell her where we're going and why. We've always been close despite her being 10 years younger and I'm positive that the only reaction I'll get will be positive.

I can't explain exactly why but I really want the people closest to me to know. Sometimes I feel a bit wierd about the idea of people knowing but other times.... I can only describe it as a feeling of pride in who I am and wanting everyone to see all of me.

Wish me luck, I'll report back with how it went!

Crissy 107
10-14-2024, 08:16 AM
Hi Danni, This is a major step forward so hopefully it goes very well. Good luck and looking forward to hearing your updates on the conversation.

Verona
10-14-2024, 08:18 AM
Good luck Danni
Fingers crossed x

Jennifer_Ph
10-14-2024, 08:30 AM
You'll be happy that you did. From my experience, those that love you don't care what clothes you are wearing. Everyone I know now knows, and it's enlightening, refreshing, and all the taboo feelings you have will vanish. Best of luck!

BLUE ORCHID
10-14-2024, 08:32 AM
Hi Danni :hugs:, See line #4 in my Signature,

GOOD LUCK !!

chrissy111
10-14-2024, 08:45 AM
Good luck, hope all goes well.

Abbycd41
10-14-2024, 10:11 AM
I hope it goes well. Good luck.

kimdl93
10-14-2024, 12:18 PM
Seems like you have thought this through. You have a good reason for needing a sitter and confidence in your sister. Will it change your relationship? Probably for the better. Good luck!

Marketa
10-14-2024, 12:42 PM
Wish you all the best, Danni.

And who knows? Maybe you will some day go shopping as sisters :)

KymG
10-14-2024, 01:28 PM
"I really want the people closest to me to know. Sometimes I feel a bit wierd about the idea of people knowing but other times.... I can only describe it as a feeling of pride in who I am and wanting everyone to see all of me."

I feel a bit like that myself. Somedays im glad a few close people know, and other days i hate myself for letting it out.

Which pride event is it if you dont mind my asking?

alwayshave
10-14-2024, 01:42 PM
Danni, Best of luck on your reveal.

Suzie Petersen
10-14-2024, 01:50 PM
I definitely understand your reasoning for this, Danni. I feel the same, but I am not ready for letting anyone close in on this part of my personality, other than my wife. But who knows what the future holds.

I think a lot of the difference between success and failure in what you are about to do, lies in how you present it and how your sister perceives your mood that you express.
What I mean is, and I say this because I feel I myself made a mistake in that in the early years with my wife, if you give the impression that this whole girl thing is depressing and it causes your fear, angst, pick a word, then she will see it as something that is bad for you and potentially for her too. If on the other hand you show her that it makes you happy, open, bubbly and allows for a good part of your person to flourish, then she is much more likely to see it as something that is good for all of you.

Of course you already have, but think about how much you show her! Be careful with showing her pictures or being dressed up when you tall her. Allow her the option to let it sink in, without being overwhelmed with visuals at the same time as the first reveal. If she is good with it, then there is plenty of time to show her what you look like in girl mode. If it frightens her, or in some other way is not good, then you have a better chance to get the relationship with her back to where it is right now.

Good luck!

RoseReve
10-14-2024, 02:51 PM
Hello Danni,

all the best in all of this!

It certainly was a relief to let my femininity out a few years ago. Everything went smoother afterwards.

I've done it in different degrees depending on the persons. With some, who I trusted would understand, I made a real coming out, telling them how I felt inside. With others, my feminized outlook obviously indicated a change towards less masculinity. But I'm a very fluid kind of person and I guess not everyone would like to play it like I did...

Some have asked questions directly, others have tried to know in a more indirect way...

All in all it didn't create anything bad. I must add that, like Suzie advised, I never obliged anyone to see me fully transformed into a woman. Which I didn't find natural anyway, as it implied too much cheating with my true apparence...

Eventually I realized that my social play with femininity wasn't such a big deal. But the decisions with a real impact on my life were still hanging in the air, and regarding these, I was all by myself...Which at the time I didn't want to be, because it scared me too much.

Once more all the best anyway, I hope this all will do you much good!!!

Cheers,

Rose :rose2:

Fiona_44
10-14-2024, 03:01 PM
I am out to the majority of the people I know. At first I was nervous telling people but i quickly discovered that I looked forward to telling everyone and having them meet the real me.

Brynna M
10-14-2024, 03:03 PM
Best wishes on your step. I'm glad you have someone you trust that way. I hope see gets to see the same great person we have.

danniUK
10-14-2024, 04:45 PM
"I feel a bit like that myself. Somedays im glad a few close people know, and other days i hate myself for letting it out.

Which pride event is it if you dont mind my asking?

It's Birmingham Pride in May. It's far enough from home that we can go out and (hopefully) be anonymous and close enough to my birthday for it to be my birthday treat!

- - - Updated - - -


And who knows? Maybe you will some day go shopping as sisters :)
That thought had actually occurred to me!

audreyinalbany
10-14-2024, 05:03 PM
I came out to my sister several years ago & it's improved our relationship tremendously.
we've been out to dinner together and a few museums and its' been great

Glenda58
10-14-2024, 05:24 PM
I told both my sisters tears ago. Both were fine with it. When my wife got upset with me about my dressing, she called my sister to complain and my siter told her she knew about it before we got married and that I'm her brother and she stands with me. Love my sisters.

Sometimes Steffi
10-14-2024, 08:57 PM
This is really a tough one. I got a lot of advice to NOT tell my SIL in a recent thread.

Some people may go off the rails about something as simple as crossdressing. I would expect the typical questions. Are you gay? Do you want to be a woman? Do you have any pics?

One caution. Do you have any Plan B for someone to take care of your kids if your sister decides this is not her thing.

My typical (non-committal) excuse is that I'm going to visit some friends, or work colleagues, whatever matches your lifestyle.

danniUK
10-15-2024, 03:43 AM
We're close enough that I can't see anything other than getting a positive reaction from her; even if it "wasn't her thing" I'm 100% sure that she'd be supportive.

I came out to her as bisexual not long after she came out me as bi too (when she was in her 20s and me in my 30s), we're fine with discussing sexuality so no worries there.

If she asks to see a pic... infact I might volunteer it - I'll show her my profile (not avatar) pic. I know people generally don't like a "ta-da" reveal but I don't think it'll come across like that. To be honest it's the first filterless pic I've taken where I honestly think I look pretty so I'm quite proud of it.

Yeah we have other options for child care for that weekend but (for reasons I won't bore you with) we're trying to encourage our son to stay for sleepover with a broader range of people than he currently does. But I really don't think she'd say no, unless she genuinely had other plans already for that weekend.

Oh, and I meant to add - my wife's fine with me telling her.

Connie D50
10-15-2024, 05:38 AM
Danni, good luck hoping all goes well.

RoseReve
10-15-2024, 09:11 AM
"ta-da" reveal

Lol such a sweet and so accurate way of saying it!!!

Thank you :battingeyelashes:

And once more all the best, I'm sure it will be alright!

Rose :rose2:

Jenn A116
10-15-2024, 09:14 AM
Adding my voice to the chorus here. Hoping that the reveal goes well for you Danni.

Jasmine23
10-15-2024, 10:43 AM
Best of luck Danni, hope all goes well for you. It's a massive step to take, but, sounds like you're sister will give you a positive response which will open up a new side to your relationship.

Debbie Denier
10-15-2024, 12:27 PM
Good luck on Thursday Danni.

NancySue
10-15-2024, 02:25 PM
You have my best wishes that things will go well and your sister will accept you with open arms. Follow your dream. If things go as planned, between now and next year, you?ll go out. You look very passable. Best. 💄🤞

Christie ann
10-16-2024, 08:50 PM
Good luck!

BrendaPDX
10-16-2024, 09:54 PM
I am so happy for you, you are doing the right thing. Wishing the best of luck and all of my unspent good carma!
Brenda

Debs
10-17-2024, 01:23 AM
Well today is the day Danni, be positive and if I was you Id get some pics ready to show her, you might as well go the whole way instead of letting her form some sort of picture in her mind of what you look like in makeup.

danniUK
10-17-2024, 10:14 AM
Thanks for all the support, ladies!
She comes round in a couple of hours, I've double checked that my wife's still fine with it (she replied like "it ain't no thang") so all is good.
Weirdly I don't feel nervous at all! Maybe that'll change when 2pm rolls around!
Will let you know what happend later.

- - - Updated - - -

Well that really could not have gone better!

We'd talked a while over a coffee after she'd arrived and then I asked her about having our son stay over while we went away for my birthday weekend.

We'd recently talked about something else that'd been going on in her life, something pretty personal, so I mentioned that conversation and how it'd got me thinking that even though we've always been close there's been things we'd never talked about, and so that's why I wanted to tell her where we were going and why.

I said "We're going to Pride in Birmingham so I can go out looking like this" and handed her my phone with my profile pic open.

She did a double take and said "No... no way! Did you do that makeup?" I told her my history of dressing up dating back to my teens (when relaying the events to my wife afterward she was confused with my use of "dressing up in private" which I'd meant as a euphemism for "dressing up for sex", not a phrase I felt comfortable using in conversation with my younger sister but nevertheless the most accurate description of the dressing of my youth).

When I'd finished my confession she stood and said "Gimme a hug!" then said "I had no idea!"

We talked for a little while then changed the subject briefly which was funny becuase after a few minutes that subject came to an end and she went silent for 5 seconds before saying "I have so many questions!"

Was I being someone else when I dressed or was I still me? Did I have a female name? Since it goes back to.my teens, did our mother know? (she passed away when I was 23). Does anyone else know?

The main takeaways were:
So glad you told me.
Can we go out somewhere together sometime both all dressed up?
You look amazing!
How did you make your eyebrows look like that?!
I always wanted a sister.

She could only stay for an hour, when she left she said "Thank you for telling me."

I really can't tell you how happy I feel right now!

Erin Lafleur
10-17-2024, 10:49 AM
Bravo! You must feel immensely unburdened!

Marketa
10-17-2024, 12:38 PM
YAY! :)

That's awesome it went so great!

Debs
10-17-2024, 01:14 PM
Danni, your now fully qualified to step out into the big wide world with me in Manchester !!!, lol

Mercedes
10-17-2024, 07:28 PM
Congrats Danni! Great outcome but I think you called it correctly from the beginning. I think we have a sixth sense on who we know will be accepting and who won’t. Now we just need the sisters shopping stories.

Brynna M
10-17-2024, 08:33 PM
That's wonderful. I'm so glad it went well.

kimdl93
10-17-2024, 09:21 PM
I am very glad that the conversation went so well and your sister is so supportive.

bridget thronton
10-18-2024, 12:40 AM
Wonderful to have two great women in your family supporting you

Shelly Preston
10-18-2024, 03:33 AM
Hi Danni

That moment will be an unforgettable memory for all the right reasons. :)

Genifer Teal
10-18-2024, 03:34 AM
So glad it went well. Now who do you tell next? :-)

Suzie Petersen
10-18-2024, 05:25 AM
That is wonderful, Danni, good for you 🤩

SophiaRose
10-18-2024, 05:42 AM
Happy for you that it went so well. Inspiring!

alwayshave
10-18-2024, 06:44 AM
Danni, I am so glad that went well. I imagine that is a large weight off your shoulders.

danniUK
10-18-2024, 07:15 AM
Thanks everyone! I really does feel good to have told someone else, particularly someone I'm so close to.

- - - Updated - - -


Congrats Danni! Great outcome but I think you called it correctly from the beginning. I think we have a sixth sense on who we know will be accepting and who won?t. Now we just need the sisters shopping stories.

Yes - I think (aside from total strangers) you always have a good idea of who'd be accepting. You'd hope that all those closest to you would be in that category. Ideal world, I guess!
Will definitely report back on an shopping trips that happen!

- - - Updated - - -


So glad it went well. Now who do you tell next? :-)

Ha, yeah I've already been thinking about this. I posted a thread earlier in the year about planning on telling my three closest friends while on a weekend trip. I told one of them, so two to go.

One of the two is coming to stay for a weekend at the start of December for a theatre trip (for those in the UK it's Armando Iannucci's version of Dr Strangelove with Steve Coogan in the lead, can't wait to see it).
My family'll be around for a lot of the time (still undecided if we'll make it a day trip to London for everyone rather than just me and him going) but we'll still have a few hours of just us two to talk.

He's said in the past that he doesn't really "get" trans "stuff" so in some ways it might be the hardest conversation of the 3. Though he's my oldest, closest friend (we were best man at each other's weddings) so it should also be the easiest.

Well see! I think I definitely feel more confident now about how the start a conversation though.

- - - Updated - - -


Danni, your now fully qualified to step out into the big wide world with me in Manchester !!!, lol

Would absolutely love to, Debs!
After I've had a first outing with my wife and made sure she's OK about me continuing to go out while dressed I'll definitely start planning some trips.

Jenn A116
10-18-2024, 09:00 AM
congratulations on taking such a huge step! I'm sure you are relieved. You've got a great sister there so be sure she knows how much you appreciate her.

Bea_
10-18-2024, 10:47 AM
I'm late getting here but loved reading the outcome of your conversation. It's very inspiring. I look forward to reading the report from your outing.

Jasmine23
10-18-2024, 10:51 AM
Danni, I'm delighted it went so well for you. It will mean more opportunities for you to dress up now!

chrissy111
10-18-2024, 12:20 PM
Very happy for you, sisters are the best!!!

Verity
10-18-2024, 07:42 PM
Woooooow, that is just so great! I am thrilled for you. Couldn?t have gone better. I hope you?ll take her up on the chance to go out together dressed. That sounds so fun!

tiffyjo
10-19-2024, 12:52 PM
Very happy for you! It's tough to feel we can't be open with many in our lives. Be happy and love the life we all have!!

Philippa Jane
10-20-2024, 02:32 AM
I think Suzie had some of the best thoughts here about not overwhelming your sister, but that was before you said you and your sister are both BI and that you have confided that with each other. It really should be plain sailing showing her how happy it makes you.
I had similar thought about coming out to my sisters but they were both really supportive,
Good luck but you probably wont need it.

JulieC
10-22-2024, 07:54 PM
danni, I am SOOOO happy for you!!!!

RoseReve
10-23-2024, 01:53 AM
Hello Danni,
sorry I'm seeing your last posts so late!!!!

I'm so glad it went so good for you.

And I might say that this:



I always wanted a sister.


is what I would have liked to hear coming from my bother. But it didn't when I told him...Too bad.

Hope things will improve some day.

All the best, cheers :battingeyelashes:

Rose :rose2:

CDMargret
10-23-2024, 06:49 AM
Congrats. I am so very happy for you and your sister.