Just (re)starting - hurdles that stopped you for a while?

[Penny Daniels]

Hi all. I'm fairly recently returned to crossdressing, albeit in a very limited fashion. I started trying a bit over a year ago, but my wife found me out and was creeped out by it, so I stopped. I also stopped because I hadn't really done the legwork to figure out what would fit - I was just furtively popping into a TJ Maxx and trying to spend as little time in the women's section as possible. So I ended up with a couple of (fortunately cheap) dresses that really didn't fit, and really weren't flattering (think sausage bursting out of its casing).

The feeling of being unable to find something that looked good within my self-imposed shopping restrictions and having my wife give me a very negative reaction to my first coming out put me off crossdressing for a pretty long time. I was wondering what others have experienced, and how they came out of the funk?

I got lucky, to an extent... my little girl wanted to paint Daddy's nails. So, yeah, of course I was up for that - I'd never done it but always wanted to, but it seemed like something that would be too obvious to hide. After she did it, and my coworkers and family saw them in that context, I kind of rolled into a "Well, she seems to like Daddy having pretty nails, and you know what, I really like it too." I've been rolling with the nails since then - even got my first manicure and am planning on a pedicure soon.

I also started shaving my legs again. I've done that every now and again for probably 20 years, but I haven't been able to keep up with it - in large part because, again, I was trying to do it furtively whenever I had a chance, and never really took the time to do it right. This time I've been keeping it up for over a month so far and plan to keep it up indefinitely. Surprisingly, after trying to talk me out of it (because ingrown hairs), my wife has actually said "Well, if you're gonna do it, you should consider laser, at least for the sensitive spots." Which was a shock to me.

I still have low expectations of acceptance of anything beyond nails and legs, but nails and legs are pretty awesome (plus I'm underdressing a little bit today, boy everything but some really sexy black pantyhose under the boy stuff).

BTW, are we allowed to post pics (headless, tasteful) in here? I could really use some advice on shaping.

[Genifer Teal]

For me, it was my height and my job. Transitioning at work is awkward to say the least.Those who quit one job to transition had trouble finding a new job. I realized early on, having a good job and keeping it was paramount. You weren't necessarily talking about that part of it, but yeah, that was a big deal for me and it really held me back.

More relatable is my height.That was another a big issue for me. I can be tall and still look good and be glamorous and all that, but when you are tall the, moment you walk in a room everyone looks and notices you. Now imagine feeling awkward about your presentation, not wanting to make waves or get noticed too much and you walk into a room, and everyone looks at you. Initially, they were looking just cuz, I'm tall. It was hard for my brain to separate that from them starting at me because i didn't belong. I learned how to walk into a room with my head held high and own it, not like i'm the greatest thing, but just that I belong there to!

I never had the most outgoing personality. I got over it, and now I do have a pretty outgoing personality. My friend who avoids talking to anyone. As much as possible will say, I am probably one of the most talkative people they know when it comes to strangers. Being forced into this position made me become a more well rounded person. I've taken the height thing instride l o l. It's gotten me great recognition in the places I go in my area. And my personality gets me well liked on top of that. I wish it didn't take as long as it did to get to this point. Probably held me back for a year or two in the early days. That job thing is almost done.We'll see what comes next.

[kimdl93]

To your question first, there are lots of headless posts. Some members are just more comfortable with doing so, at least for a while. Either way is ok.

Low expectations is a good thing. Just strive to both be happy with yourself and your family, whatever you do.

[Penny Daniels]

I hear that on the height thing. I don't think I'd transition at work, or at least it's so far down the road I don't think about it. But on the height thing, I'm 6'5". Makes it hard to not get noticed if you're trying to blend in.

[Fiona_44]

Tunic tops are good for hiding the belly.

[docrobbysherry]

After about a year of starting to dress rite out of the blue at age 50? I was able to create some very sexy shots of my fem figure.:daydreaming:

But, my homely old man face was ruining for me!:eek:

Then, one Halloween about 30 years ago I tried on a female mask just for the heck of it and Sherry was born! I haven't looked back ever since!:devil: