Advice

[Aprilbuttons35]

Hi. I have been dressing for a long time on and off. recently told my wife I do this and I am bi sexual. I have a 17 month old son. I am worried that as he grows up he will see me more and more often dressed as a women. I worried that he will find it strange and also his friends will bully him as he grows up. is anyone in the same situation or has been?
I also have had very increasing thoughts about becoming trans. I find it very difficult to talk about and understand. I don't like my male body, or any male things really. but I also like to have relationships, fun with men. thank you for reading. I hope someone can help. April

[audreyinalbany]

its kind of a 'no-brainer' you need to find a therapist who is well versed in gender issues to help you through this

[Verona]

Hi April
How did your wife react to you revealing your dressing, did you also tell her that you are bisexual?
Do you want to fully transition? If so it?s probably best to be honest with everyone and start the journey sooner rather than later if you are worried about how your child will perceive you
X

[Brynna M]

I worry about the same things. You aren't alone in your concerns. But I know I'm not trans. Because it's not psychologically imperative to me and because my wife is totally opposed I've decided to keep it from everyone especially my grade school age son. He doesn't need a secret to keep a weird dad for people to make fun of him and constant bad blood between his mom and dad. But that is my situation. I hope you find the right answer for you.

[docrobbysherry]

Good advice costs. So, I strongly recommend a good therapist for u and your SO while u still can, April!:eek:

Worrying about your dressing affecting your toddler will seem silly after u have a few years of experience with kids!:heehee:

[bridget thronton]

My daughter and grand daughter have seen me dressed for years and they still love me

[Genifer Teal]

Kids only know what you tell them. I mean, they will eventually learn from outside sources, but if you give them the right basis of understanding, that's what they will have to work from. We have the perfect example how schools teache kids to think a certain way which includes acceptance of everyone. Anyone here will tell you the younger a person is, the more likely they are to be accepting. The values you teach at home will be a smaller tighter, knit version of what else they are taught in school or anywhere. It's just an example that how a child is raised will it greatly affect their beliefs and understandings of the world. What's normal at home will for the most part seem normal to them.
There will be a tricky part when they differentiate how normal is their family compared to the rest of the world. I don't see that as a problem. We usually grow up thinking like our parents.We take so much from what we learn at home. A simple explanation "this is what some parents do" should be all that's needed for a while.

[GretchenM]

I agree with Audrey - find a good family counselor and get the expert answers there. Your situation is a tough one, but its solution probably is found after one knows the details in depth. In counseling sessions the counselor will gather information on the details. Only then can they recommend well founded directions for you to use. Keep in mind; they will not likely tell you what to do but they will guide you and your wife to find a solution that fits you the best and then will provide support and guidance in your implementation of the choices you two make.

[kimdl93]

I agree with those who suggest asking your gender identity questions and notions about exploring extramarital issues with a properly qualified therapist. Your wife should be part of that conversation