Why not take this public?

[Genifer Teal]

I just read for the 1000th time, " I have no desire to dress in public." This makes me curious why? I'm curious to hear different perspectives on this.

I never felt a strong desire to go out. For me it was just a curiosity. To experience being dressed for not than just a few hours at home. To leave the house dressed as a woman and have to stay that way until i got home. I wanted to say look what I did, instead of just looking at myself in the mirror.

It wasn't until i went out that I got compliments, made friends
and got special treatment in the clubs i went to. All this reinforced dressing as a good thing.

It's easy to say you have "no desire to go out." I'm wondering if there really is no desire or if it's circumstances or maybe something else? If anything held me back in those early days, it was my look. What are the main factors keeping you inside or is there REALLY no desire to go further with this?

[audreyinalbany]

I've always felt that any presentation..not simply gender presentation...is essentially a social statement...punk rockers with myriad tattoos....business men with expensive suits...so, by all means it makes perfect sense to express yourself socially as your feminine self.

[Helen_Highwater]

I suppose it can start small. For me it was the curiosity to know what it felt like to wear a skirt/dress out in the fresh air, you know, the breeze on the legs. Couple that to wanting to walk more than the few yards the hallway allowed me to walk and on a hard surface. Certainly in the early years going shopping or socialising wasn't in the thinking.

And had it not been for the internet and discovering there were others like me and seeing their exploits I could have easily remained within the boundaries of my house and garden.

Is it also the case that for those worried about being seen and judged for their appearance, many of the post of first time outers are ones of zero to hero. Out of the house and into full on public exposure. Not so many staged, "I went of a drive" stories as perhaps there were.

All that said, like Genifer, I'd be interested in just what keeps folk from ever considering going out, even for that late night drive.

[Kayy]

A combination of factors keeps me indoors. I was in the closet for a long time, and I think the fear of being found out still lingers. But it’s also not practical, it would be difficult to get out of the house unnoticed by neighbours, I don’t drive (bad eyesight) so driving somewhere I’m not known is not an option. I guess I could walk around the block when it’s dark… now that’s got me thinking….

[Jasmine23]

Hi Gennifer,
It's not always a straightforward case of wanting to go out dressed and actually doing it, for me personally I would love nothing better than to go out dressed, but, circumstances, opportunity and fear of being " caught" stop me. I live in a very conservative area where everyone knows everyone else, so it's not the same as living in a city where you can be anonymous much easier. I have no real reason which allows me to dissappear for a while to go somewhere else to dress up, as there would always be someone who would want to tag along. I 'm pretty certain people where I live wouldn't be that accepting, they wouldn't get their pitch forks out ( well I hope not!), but, they would definitely think less of me, it's not something I want people to know as it's none of their business.

The other big issue is that I would like to be able to pass to some degree, but, as I have no real makeup skills or opportunity to practice makeup so I can't really go out. I am hoping to go to a dressing service sometime next year in a place no one knows me and maybe even go for a stroll in public, but, it's difficult to get a time to do this on my own. Everyone's circumstances are different, so the difficulty level to go out dressed is different for everyone. I admire all the girls on here who go out in public and I know they all, including yourself had great difficulty at one point when starting to go out dressed, but, it's now almost second nature to you, which is great. BTW Gennifer how often do you dress in public yourself, I've always got the impression that you generally dress in girl mode now.

[Sandi Beech]

I have had it both ways. It was mostly fear that kept me from going out in years past. I did go out some but I was so scared back then my hands would literally shake when I was paying for something at a store.

Fast forward to 2017 and I was fed up with hiding and took the plunge of going to a bar while dressed up to the 9s. I have not looked back and have gone clubbing many times. Acceptance from others is ultimately cured me of the fear of going out.

Things are slow for me right now though. Maybe again soon.

Sandi

[Diedre]

Before full puberty set in when I was 13-15, I could easily pass as a young teenage girl. I had the help of a female cousin who had great makeup skills and we would go out together to another part of the city and I enjoyed fooling the world.
However, once full blown puberty hit there was not a chance of passing in a dark room full of people wearing sunglasses. The fun, mystique and thrill of going out was gone.
These days I lounge around in nightgowns, lingerie, pantyhose and women's shoes that seems to fulfill my desires. My wife accepts me for who I am and life goes on. And, I have great memories of knowing I was once on top of the CD world.

[MarciMaybe]

For me, I can sum it up in two words.
Fear & Cowardice.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've told my story many times before. I found someone on CD.com who lived near me and was active on the forum and in real life. We arranged to meet en femme at an LGBT bar. She introduced me to two friends and they introduced me to two friends and they introduced me to two friends. I very quickly went from isolation to having a group of CD friends to hang out with. Eventually, the group got larger and one of the girls invited everyone to her place to party. Soon. the party got too big for her place and we went en femme to meetups at a local hotel. Then I went to Keystone.

Based on meeting one girl en femme, I found that there was a whole new world out there. It's easy for me to say "Just do it" but I had the support of a large group behind me. By the time we were meeting in public places, we could easily gather 50 girls together. Safety in numbers.

[Teri Ray]

Scariest thing I ever did was go out enfemme in public Most thrilling at the same time. Found out that nobody cared. The world seems different from a female perspective. If you are on the fence I say go for it.

[BrendaPDX]

Like Marci said, "Fear and Cowardice" hit pretty close to home for me to. I was a total closet case for years, but once I went out, passed and took a few pictures, I was hooked. I am still not totally "out", but I am okay with that.
Brenda

[Gi Gondin]

For a pretty long time this would be my answer. And it would be an honest answer.
If you are in a relationship with someone that doesn?t accept your CDing, going out is too far on the horizon to be included in a wishlist.

On the contrary, when met my now wife and told her about CDing, for her, was an obvious step, that we took when she hired a makeup artist for me.

Nowadays, my answer would never be that one.

[danniUK]

While I was closeted, basically in denial and telling myself that my dressing was just a sex-thing, it never crossed my mind to venture outside.
Since I finally admitted to myself last year that my femme side is just as much a part of me as the other (and frankly far prettier!) I've been yearning to go out dressed. Though I've been taking the lead from my wife, not doing anything that she's not OK with.

It took some time for her to get used to the idea but it's culminated in arranging a weekend away at a Pride event in May (her idea) which, if all goes well, will hopefully be the first outing of many.

I totally get the the "fear" thay many have though. For me it was that realisation of "this is just who I am" that's stopped it being a factor, at least for now.

I think when I finally do step outside that hotel room for the first time it'll be 20% fear and 80% excitement. I guess a little adrenaline just makes it all the more exciting?!

[Genifer Teal]

Interesting responses. Seems somewhat as I thought. Fear and other constraints are more what's holding people back than a lack of interest in exploring the outside world. That's kind of what I wanted to find out. if people genuinely had no interest in going out or there were other factors keeping them indoors. It's a shame we can't just do as we please.

There's an interesting comparison I often make. there was this guy that used to go to some of the same places and hang with some of the same crowd locally at the bars and clubs. This was back in the nineties. He must have been a huge Elvis fan. He would show up every night dressed as elvis In that white satin bell bottom outfit. All the ladies would flock to him.He had a great circle of friends.

I always thought how much guts it took to do that, and how he had a personality to capitalize on it. Then I realized, that's not so different from what I'm doing. Going out as who I am and making friends and having a great time. Am I really just getting away with it because of my personality? Probably. To a large extent, yes.I'd like to also think there's some acceptance thrown in there. Either way, the end result is what i'm looking for so I try not to overthink it.

[kimdl93]

I had to think back almost 15 years to my first steps out of the closet. For decades prior, I suppressed my desire to dress and present as a woman. Then it seemed like everything fell in place. After realizing that I actually could do it, that is be reasonably presentable, I felt an overpowering need to get out and experience the world. My fear evaporated soon after stepping outside.

These days, my life has changed again. In retirement I almost never go out at night, avoid bars and socialize infrequently. Maybe I am just getting old.

[SophiaRose]

I look forward to getting out once I feel like my hair and makeup are good enough to blend in. Im not sure if I?ll ever be satisfied but one day I?ll just say ?to heck with it?. I had this strong urge to leave the house last week so it won?t be long. Fo some reason being completely in femme feels empowering.

[DanielleDubois]

The OP said : It's easy to say you have "no desire to go out. I'm wondering if there really is no desire or if it's circumstances or maybe something else?

Well for me it is easy for to say I have no desire to go out.
I'm not sure why it seems hard to believe that for some of us including me it is as simple as we have no interest in being out in public. I know it is important and enjoyable on many levels for many crossdressers to be out in public but I have always been perfectly content to confine my crossdressing to my home. Close CD friends and members have told me if I started I could find going out to be addictive but for me it is still a hard no.

I have explained before the exception would be to attend a CD event in a hotel but that would be to meet other crossdressers in person and not for the fact I would kind of be out in public.

Any other apparent outliers like me on this question?

[Sometimes Steffi]

Scariest thing I ever did was go out enfemme in public Most thrilling at the same time. Found out that nobody cared. The world seems different from a female perspective. If you are on the fence I say go for it.

Scariest thing I ever did was to take a class going up on one of those water skiing kites. Kind of like a hang glider. It was scary and thrilling at the same time. My scuba checkout dive was a close second.

I did both of these with a group of like-minded people. Doing it alone would have been much scarier.

I know. Not CDing, but that's the point. We've all done something scary in out lifetime, maybe even scarier than going out in public dressed!

[Genifer Teal]

As the original poster, it's not hard to believe some people don't want to go out. I am simply asking if that's the real reason, or there's other circumstances making it difficult or impossible. Looking to hear people's real story to see if no desire to go out is the actual reality.

[Erin Lafleur]

The OP said : It's easy to say you have "no desire to go out. I'm wondering if there really is no desire or if it's circumstances or maybe something else?

Well for me it is easy for to say I have no desire to go out.
I'm not sure why it seems hard to believe that for some of us including me it is as simple as we have no interest in being out in public. I know it is important and enjoyable on many levels for many crossdressers to be out in public but I have always been perfectly content to confine my crossdressing to my home. Close CD friends and members have told me if I started I could find going out to be addictive but for me it is still a hard no.

I have explained before the exception would be to attend a CD event in a hotel but that would be to meet other crossdressers in person and not for the fact I would kind of be out in public.

Any other apparent outliers like me on this question?

I'm pretty much with you Danielle. My dressing takes place exclusively at home and that's what suits me. To each their own.
I lived in Phoenix for some time and there was a pretty active CD meetup group there and I thought to myself if I didn't do it now, I would never go out in the wild.
I had to find out where my boundaries lay and since there was no possibility in running into someone I knew, it was the perfect opportunity. Obviously being with many other like minded gals would ease the jitters... safety in numbers and all of that.
Anyway, we basically rented a small LGBTQ bar on the outskirts of town and off I went all dolled up! I didn't really know any of the other girls and while they were certainly pleasant enough, I just never really made any kind of connection. We all had our collective interest in cross dressing in common but for some reason it just didn't seem as though that ought to be a reasonable topic for conversation. I don't know why, likely just me I suppose.
I stayed for a few hours and then was on my way as I just never felt entirely comfortable for some reason. It didn't help that the A/C wasn't really working and it was hotter than hell.
Anyway, that was my first and last sojourn out in the wild. It wasn't awful, just not something that appeals to me. At least I gave it an honest effort!

[Sallee]

Going out makes a differance and its fun Actually after awhile you begin to realize no body cares. I guess that depends on where you go and how your dressed. I go to malls and drag clubs. At the clubs go big, big hair, tall heels overdone makeup what ever your fantasy is. For the mall for me everything is toned way down slacks, flats boring makeup. I strive to pass. Some times I do sometimes not. Usually I do, or at least I don't get driven out by the wild hordes. The sales associates want the sale so they will treat you nice and even make passing suggestions some times. The wild hordes don't pay attention usually. At worst they might do a double take. There are a lot of not so pretty women out there and we are probably some of them. But thats okay nobody cares.
Have fun thats to me is what life is about.

[GracieRose]

For me, I enjoy being recognized and treated as a woman. Today (being far away from home on vacation) my wife agreed to go out with Gracie looking through the local art stores. Every time we walked into a store we were greeted with "Good afternoon, ladies", I got a thrill.

[DanielleDubois]

As the original poster, it's not hard to believe some people don't want to go out. I am simply asking if that's the real reason, or there's other circumstances making it difficult or impossible. Looking to hear people's real story to see if no desire to go out is the actual reality.

I apologise, I didn't mean to insinuate that you didn't believe there were people who simply don't want to go out. I should have not confused things and simply answered the last question in your post.

For me, there REALLY is no desire to go further with this.

[Genifer Teal]

No worries, we all read text differently. It's very different than a face-to-face conversation. It's easy to misconstrue what someone wrote.

In the early days, going to some type of cross dresser or a drag related event seemed like the only option for going out.My first thought was, why do I wanna be around other men dressed as women? I clearly knew I didn't. I can understand why others wouldn't find that an enjoyable situation either.

I realize there are many constraints to someone being able to go out. I'm just trying to see if so many here really have no desire to go out, or it just isn't practical due to the many constraints in their life.

When I say it's easy to say they have no desire to go out.I mean, it's easier than explaining the details of the complications in your life it would create.

[CDMargret]

For myself I can't pass. Built like a line backer. Now I do go to clubs and events that are setup or accepting. Yet to just hit the mall I would look so not right and attract negative attention. I do wear leggings with longer shirts in public. Looking like I am heading to the gym. Tights under pants in the winters. To dawn a dress and shop the sale a Penny's is but just a dream that may never come true do to how I am physically built.

[CarlaWestin]

Erin, I found your reply most interesting. I've been going out for a long time but always just a solo experience in mundane public venues. There's a thrill of vulnerability that elevates the excitement and always a heightened sense of situational awareness. I totally avoid being detected by men or groups of younger folks but no problem striking up conversations with women. I've never encountered a CD social group and I'm not sure if I care to.

Gennifer, I can attest without disclosure that I know CD's that have a very formatted experience to enjoy and a certain look to achieve that would just be uncomfortably interrupted by the prospect of leaving the safety of their comfort zone.

[DianeT]

I explained many times that I have no desire to go out, that my dressing is a personal experience of feelings and introspection. I want to see myself in a woman's presentation, and listen to how my mind and body respond to it. Others have no part in this, therefore I have no use for others seeing me. For those reading books, it's a bit akin to sitting in a good armchair and losing yourself in the read, having others reading your book over your shoulder or commenting the opus would just ruin the experience.
In addition, I have no sense of being female, my dressing's sensations work because of the contrast between my male conscience and my female look. This disconnect is the essence of my dressing experience and, again, being seen by others would add nothing to it. Thinking about it, I would probably feel also like a fraud, not feeling female or girly behind the surface.
If I try to make the mind experiment of going outside, I can understand that it can be exciting and exhilarating. The thrill, the challenge may be quite funny. But that's it. I don't crave it or feel like something is missing in my dressing experience. Given the hassle it would represent to go out, the fact that my wife would be very uneasy with it, and the absence of real motivation, I have no interest in doing it. I seldom read the "going out" threads for that reason. They don't speak to me.
But thanks for asking!

[DanielleDubois]

DianeT, so much of your reply speaks to me and mirrors a lot of my female time confinement to my house. The big exception is I now do share Danielle fashion shows with of wife to get valuable comments and opinions on my Danielle presentation. The fashion shows also are very special to me since they illustrate my loving wife's support and acceptance of my crossdressing.

[Philippa Jane]

When I first ventured out it was mainly at night and going to a drive in movie.
Even then I always felt people could SEE me. Paranoia.
Like Steffi I found a friend here and I was more at home underdressed. Then came a time when I took her to the airport and while we were hugging goodbye she felt my bra and announced n a loud voice "You're wearing a bra". In boy mode this was embarrassing to me but probably nobody heard or noticed.

My first real outing came when I went to buy my wigs. I had to look like a woman (in my eyes) in order to see what I would look like in a style that suited me. I was over dressed for the occasion but that day was a stand out for me.
With a new wig I began to see the possibility of passing.

Many months later I do recall going to a casino and once again being fearful of being noticed.
These days I have a better wardrobe and really don't care what anyone thinks and nobody ever has said anything to me.
Rock on ladies and give it a try.

[DianeT]

It seemed to me that the thread was about members not going out explaining why. Not for members going out explaining for the umpteenth time why they should. Do what's right for you, and let us do what's right for us. Thinking that all members not going out are doing it out of fear is a projection on your part. Maybe talk less and listen more : not everyone is like you. Simple fact.

I went out dressed as a girl once, a long time ago, during a Mardi Gras, and for a whole day. Very rare at the time to see guys dressed as females, so I really felt lonely and self-conscious with the whole classroom looking at me at the high school and then later, walking crowded streets. Yes, it was intimidating. Yes, I did it. While I was happy that I took up the challenge, I did not find it particularly exhilarating or exciting. And in the streets nobody cared. And soon I didn't either. And still don't.

- - - Updated - - -


DianeT, so much of your reply speaks to me and mirrors a lot of my female time confinement to my house. The big exception is I now do share Danielle fashion shows with of wife to get valuable comments and opinions on my Danielle presentation. The fashion shows also are very special to me since they illustrate my loving wife's support and acceptance of my crossdressing.
You have a loving wife. I am glad for you. I do too and count my blessings.

[DanielleDubois]

Gennifer, I can attest without disclosure that I know CD's that have a very formatted experience to enjoy and a certain look to achieve that would just be uncomfortably interrupted by the prospect of leaving the safety of their comfort zone.

To quote from the TV series DIFF'RENT STROKES: Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis? :):heehee:

I think I just outed myself. :doh:

[Erin Lafleur]

[QUOTE=DianeT;4713714]It seemed to me that the thread was about members not going out explaining why. Not for members going out explaining for the umpteenth time why they should. Do what's right for you, and let us do what's right for us. Thinking that all members not going out are doing it out of fear is a projection on your part. Maybe talk less and listen more : not everyone is like you. Simple fact.

I certainly agree with what you say Diane and your earlier metaphor regarding curling up with a good book as opposed to someone reading over your shoulder is certainly relevant to me. I have absolutely no compulsion beyond reading my own book and having others I don't know somehow validating my experience is not on my radar in any way.
That validation is simply not important to me. I am quite happy exploring my femininity in the comforts of my own home.

[Genifer Teal]

Thanks to those who clarified my question and got what I was asking. Even for those who say otherwise, it seems there is some element of fear, whether it's getting laughed at or getting caught or others knowing about your "hobby" that you don't want to. It may not be the whole part of why you don't go out, but it seems to play a role.

It would be difficult to have a controlled experiment where it totally didn't matter If anyone saw you, yet somehow they still reacted naturally, not knowing they were part of a test. Then you could have the freedom to go out and see what it's like without any fear of retribution or change in your life because people know your secret. Without that, we can never truly see what people would do if they were unrestricted.

On some level, that's a little bit sad. It's not sad that people want to stay in or want to enjoy this in their own way. It's just sad that to some extent, much greater than it should be, what we do is controlled by outside influences.

[DianeT]

"There's an element of fear for most people if they think about tickling a rhino's armpit. So even for people who say otherwise, I suspect they secretly want to do it. It may not be the whole part of why they don't do it, but it seems to play a role."

Sorry, but you are beyond my persuasions powers. If you have the answer no matter what we tell you, why ask the question? For validating your prejudices?
Thinking that other people can't possibly be different from you may seem harmless, but in reality it is the beginning of intolerance.
The kind of intolerance that leads, for example, some people to think that males aren't supposed to wear women's clothes.

[Heather76]

I've been dressed in public 10 - 12 times. It's always been where I won't have a lot of face-to-face interaction with people. I don't have a "need" to be out and I do have to be careful where/when I go out in public. Simply put, my wife has a "no family or friends should know I CD" limit. So, unless I'm out of town alone, I leave Heather at home. That said, I am always underdressed even if it's only panties. If it involved wearing slacks, I likely have nylons or fishnets under. If it's cool enough for a windbreaker or jacket, I am likely wearing a lace bralette and small forms. But, I do have to be discrete to honor her limitation. If she had no limits whatsoever, would I go out dressed more freely? I might, but I would still be likely to pick and choose when and where based on the odds of seeing someone we know. I suspect that would be because of the fear factor of their reaction.

[JulieC]

I've only on occasion been in public, either fully en femme or partially. It's rare for me.

One thing that definitely slows me down in doing this is that there have been times when fear has absolutely undermined me. I commented on a thread a long time ago about this. I was in the military, and I tend to be the type that goes TO the danger, not away from it. I trained to do this, I did do this. When it comes to presenting en femme, it's like my brain can't find that gear. I know how to get in that gear, but my brain doesn't want to get into it. It's odd.

Anyway, that fear...if it shows up...causes mass adrenaline to dump into my system and my heart to seriously race. One time that happened, I said to myself "This can't be healthy!" and stopped doing it for quite a while. This is a lot less likely to happen when there's below zero chance of anyone I know seeing me, but it can happen as such times too. Frustrating, and part of the puzzle of me that I keep on trying to figure out.

[Shelli]

I have only dressed in public on one occasion, a total whim, and it was great! I was in a new town where nobody knew me, I wore a short denim skirt, a tight knit blouse, small water balloons in my bra, shaved legs, flats, just a touch of eye-shadow and lip gloss, and I went out dancing at a local bar. I felt entirely in Shelli mode. Nobody acted strange or offensive to me and my dance card was full all evening long! The only thing missing was a gurlfriend to share the evening with!

[Amelie]

Years ago I use to go out all the time. Mostly at night cause that's when things happen. I went to clubs, bars, concerts, anywhere there was music and dancing.

Nowadays I go nowhere, for a few reasons.
1-There's no go good places to go anymore. Everything I liked has ended or closed down.
2-I live way out in the boondocks with no car. The closest store is 5 or more miles from me.
3-I enjoy staying home with my dog in the garden. Much more fun than being with humans.
4-And fear. There are some very bad people in the world and they scare me.

[Erin Lafleur]

Thanks to those who clarified my question and got what I was asking. Even for those who say otherwise, it seems there is some element of fear, whether it's getting laughed at or getting caught or others knowing about your "hobby" that you don't want to. It may not be the whole part of why you don't go out, but it seems to play a role.

It would be difficult to have a controlled experiment where it totally didn't matter If anyone saw you, yet somehow they still reacted naturally, not knowing they were part of a test. Then you could have the freedom to go out and see what it's like without any fear of retribution or change in your life because people know your secret. Without that, we can never truly see what people would do if they were unrestricted.

On some level, that's a little bit sad. It's not sad that people want to stay in or want to enjoy this in their own way. It's just sad that to some extent, much greater than it should be, what we do is controlled by outside influences.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm with DianeT on this one.
Even when we answer from a genuine place, you simply seem to want to reaffirm your own position, regardless of what we say. I wonder if you've even read what several of us have put out there.
For the record, I have gone out in the wild and found it simply isn't for me and I'm wondering why I even feel that I have to explain that position. It wasn't out of fear that I decided not to pursue the outside world but rather, out of disinterest. It felt awkward and unfulfilling to me but at least I tried it. Not my thing...
Beyond that, there's another really compelling reason that makes dressing only at home more enjoyable for me. My dressing sensibilities are such that I really enjoy ultra feminine clothing with all of the bells and bobs that it entails. Think lots of lace, bows, petticoats, stay ups, Cinderella type heels with bows, lace top stay-ups... you name it. I don't always dress that way, but often enough. My everyday dress at home is generally panties and bra, cami and any one of a number of long flowing peignoirs. That's as comfortable and content as it gets for me. Although I have outfits that could be confidently worn out in the wild, they aren't very high on my to wear list.
Which brings me to another point. I'm in my mid sixties and I have absolutely zero desire to wear clothing that is "age appropriate" for a woman of my age. Which is yet another reason why I enjoy being left to my own choices in what's appropriate for "me." I feel absolutely no compulsion to allow others to dictate what is or isn't appropriate for me.
Why on earth would I care what others think? Why would I allow myself to be controlled by outside influences as you say?
I support the girls here that enjoy going out, even though that's not my thing. It's none of my beeswax. I really don't think it's helpful to compartmentalize and evangelize one's position regardless of where one falls on the CD spectrum. We're all different and those differences ought to be respected...

[Genifer Teal]

So far, many people have replied that there are restrictions keeping them from going out. A few people have responded they simply have no desire. I don't believe one is more right than the other. I don't believe people need to go out to enjoy this. I don't care which is your preference. My views on this are completely open.

There's now a separate thread for those who stay in. Let's not end the conversation here. This conversation is open to everyone, whether you stay in or go out or want to go out but haven't yet.

What are your reasons?

[Lauren4444]

As a person who doesn?t get out nearly as much as I wish, (and Genifer Teal knows all my excuses ha ha), I really liked reading responses from girls who said they have not gone out yet, for multiple reasons including a bit of trepidation, but are keeping an open mind to maybe give it a shot one day.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Why do I go out?

It's pretty simple actually. My wife doesn't want to see me dressed, but she obliges me by letting me go out. If I didn't go out, I'd never get dressed.

When I started going out, it was great to go out and meet gurls like me. It was wonderful to talk with them about their life and experience. I also got to love the positive affirmations, especially honest affirmations from random GGs. I don't hold a candle to Sandi's style, and I don't think I'd be comfortable dressing like her and going to the venues that she goes to. But, I'd go with Sandi if she were my wingman. Sandi, "Take me along with you".

Even though I can't match Sandi's style, I've developed a style all my own and get a lost of positive comments on my style. I'm happy where I am, but I'd like to go out even more. Hence my thought of going to Pilates in costume.

[KymG]

Because I'm terrified of being found out by most people I know. Id like to, maybe one day.
Sneaky night drives are as much as i can manage.
The odd neighbour may well know, I can live with that.