What should i do

[LucyPi]

I have been dressing since i was about twelve. I live at home and share a room with my younger brother which makes it hard to find time to dress. My mum once found my womens clothes in my room. Most of these were ones which i had either taken from her drawer or out of bags of clothes she was throwing away. She jus took them all and went mad about the fact that i had taken them but never actually questioned me as to why. The house was empty today so i dressed for the full day. I went outside in the garden for a whle and was spotted by a neighbour whose face displayed a look of horror. I fear they will tell my parents neither of whom i think will approve. what should i do if my parents say anything. Should i just come clean ?

[Christina Nicole]

Rather late to think about that now, dear. You are going to have to roll with whatever comes your way. I assume that you are a minor, and therefore dependant upon your parents. You don't have a lot of options. You can try to avoid, stall, and / or delay if possible. If you have to offer an answer, better to have some supporting documentation that shows crossdressing does not mean that you have a disease, a mental defect, a dangerous sexual fetish or that you're gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with being gay! Some of my best friends are gay!) Try to avoid using on-line references. If you do, print the documents. The documents you use should be items written by professionals with standing in medical community. Something written by Bebe Le Flamee, drag queen will carry less weight with your parents than something written by Susan James, Ph.D. and William Smith M.D. Those little letters at the end of a name mean so much.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Lucy

I dont know how old you are but I think it unlikely the neighbours will say anything. Ther would have to be really good friends before they would mention it.
If they do you have to think about how you want to respond.
Be prepared for lots of questions. but if you don't know, say that you don't know.

Why being the first ?
How often ?
Are you Gay ?
Hopefully when you are asked it is in a clam rational manner.
You should tell them you do not have all the answers as to why.

This site may be the best source of information for you parents as well

How you decide to proceed may be age dependant

[DonnaT]

Hi Lucy, one has to be at least 18 to be on this site. So, for the time being I will assume you are at least 18. If not see http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums which has a younger age restriction.

Your experience sounds a lot like mine, although I don't think any of the neighbors saw me when I went out in the back yard.

If your parents and neighbor talk, then it may come up in conversation.

Just be honest with your folks. Tell them what you are feeling. Tell them that you have this need to crossdress, and that your research has found that there is no cure, and that since it appears that you will have this desire for the rest of your life, that you'd like their understanding and acceptance. Hopefully you've achieved self acceptance in this regard.

My parents once asked me why, but I ducked the question and continued to hide what I was doing. I've learned that it is easier and more healthy to be honest. My mom and I can now talk about it, and she has even given me clothes and jewelry.

Good luck.

[jjjjohanne]

My dad once said he thought he saw our neighbor outside his house enfemme. None of us ever said anything to him or his wife. There is a reasonable chance that it will never come up. But, you know your family's relationship to your neighbor well enough to know the likely hood that someone would bring up such a topic.

Joe

[sharifemme]

LucyPi...

I feel your pain at having everybody knowing you are transgendered but want to tell you what I'd do now that I know what I do. I grew up without the benefit of the internet and all the information it provides. Like you, I hid who I was from EVERYBODY.

If I had it to do over, I would have told my mother my true feelings when she caught me the first time many years ago. When she did catch me, she threatened to send me to a psychiatrist. I now realize that if I had been able to see a competent gender therapist back then (there weren't many), my life would probably be much different and happier today.

I don't know how old you are but I suspect you are a lot younger than my 50+ years. I want to tell you that you will never stop dressing and you really need to be who you are. If you try to suppress it, you will be in for a life of nothing but heartache. Yes, there will be some of that anyway, but it is much easier being true to yourself than living a lie all the time.

So, my advice is to see what happens. If anybody calls you on your gender expression, I would tell the truth. It may hurt for a while and some bad things could happen, but I think it would be better for you in the long run.

Sharifemme




I have been dressing since i was about twelve. I live at home and share a room with my younger brother which makes it hard to find time to dress. My mum once found my womens clothes in my room. Most of these were ones which i had either taken from her drawer or out of bags of clothes she was throwing away. She jus took them all and went mad about the fact that i had taken them but never actually questioned me as to why. The house was empty today so i dressed for the full day. I went outside in the garden for a whle and was spotted by a neighbour whose face displayed a look of horror. I fear they will tell my parents neither of whom i think will approve. what should i do if my parents say anything. Should i just come clean ?

[Danielle]

Crossdressing at any age is hard sometimes and by the way you are still at home with family so it's a bit harder I know because I live with a brother which has no idea.As for the neighbors a little entertainment won't hurt so they will eventually forget or play dum so be cool and stay relaxed.It's not the end of the world;)

[Krystenw]

I agree with Sharifemme. There is nothing like the truth. Your parents and siblings may not understand at first, but if anything is said, don't lie and for heavens sake, don't argue or yell at them. That just makes it worse.
You might try to find the "right time" and just talk to your mom. Ask her for her opinion. Ask her for her help. Even if you want to keep it a secret from everyone else you would at least have one person on you side. I wish I would have. They are actually a lot smarter then most young folks think.
Besides that, my last shrink told me it was all my mom's fault to start with;) .
Best of luck.
Krysten