Why do you Dress?

[Ashley050]

Sorry for the simplistic question but its not that simple to answer.

There are so many different motivations and circumstances and places in life for all CD's and why they choose to dress as a girl is different for everyone. Some are on a more transformative path, others just enjoy it for a variety of reasons, for some its more of a hobby.

I would put myself more in the latter category and put Ashley away often. I have a GF and she knows nothing about Ashley and won't (I hope) as it won't mix well. I notice many have accepting spouses which is great but something I have trouble understanding but great for those who have that support.

Anyway, I am not sure why I dress other than its in line with my fantasies and dreams, it has a sexual side as well but its much more than that. Lastly, its hard not to love all the variety of clothes that women get to wear. All the cute panties and bras and lingerie and skirts and dresses and so on. Men's clothing is so dull in comparison is one reason but it goes far beyond that.

Anyway, kind of a simple question but love to hear some thoughts.

[mykell]

ill play....i suppose in the beginning it was curiosity....later fantasy....teens *that*....marriage over it....later not over it

triblel communities called it two spirit, that captured my interest.....described as a stick, bent to have each end brought together to form a circle....believe ive been at many points of that circle.

welcome to the group Ashley....

[Ashley050]

Thank you so much, nice to be welcomed.

[Suzie Petersen]

Why? I have no idea. It doesn't really feel like a choice anymore.

[Ashley050]

If you can dress all the time then its a way of life. For many of us, we have to pick our spots as we may be in the closet or are not comfortable being our in public. If I were on a journey to transitioning it would be different, I am more of a casual dresser and sometimes it just makes me wonder why I go through the effort to do so. I do love love it though. I think if I were to explore the sexual side of it more, I may gain more understanding as I think there is lots to unpack there, for me at least.

[docrobbysherry]

Because I can?:tongueout

[BLUE ORCHID]

It's Just who I am & It's just what I Do, I can enjoy the best of both Worlds,

I guess I got started when I was about age 4 , 78 Years ago,

[bridget thronton]

I enjoy wearing dresses and heels.

[sometimes_miss]

It relieves the stress of gender identity dysphoria; I was convinced back around age 7 that god made a mistake, and that I was supposed to be a girl; once he had me convinced of that, I would see other things in my life which could be interpreted to support the gender mistake being real. As I believed that for almost all of my developmental years, apparently there is still a very strong lingering feeling that I am supposed to be a girl. As I had learned how to 'act' the part of a normal, 'standard issue male' over the years, I have managed to fool the world into thinking that's what I am. But it never feels quite right, and I only feel normal when dressed as a female, and allowing myself to behave as one as well.
I feel best, when I am dressed in slightly more explicitly feminine clothes; dresses rather than just woman's pants and tops, skirts rather than shorts, cute shoes rather than plain woman's shoes, and of course a long hair wig, rather than the bald head that I'm now stuck with.
Any questions? Or you can PM me here.

[Debs]

Because I absolutely love it !!!!!!

[nalasirder]

For me, the main motivation is the comfort and aesthetic appeal of the clothing and it being "off limits".

Ever since I was in my teens, I have had a pretty good style of male fashion. I have lots of nice suits and ties, casual wear and plenty of very colorful bright colors. However, I was also very interested in dresses. Especially every time we went to a hot outdoor wedding and I was wearing a suit and all the women looked so happy and comfy in dresses.

The fact that dresses seemed so comfy and also "off limits" to men made me want to try them. Since then, I've realized I also don't really want to present as a woman, so I primarily underdress or just wear parts of what I want from either genders wardrobe. I love panties, leggings, dresses, socks but tend to avoid ladies tops except sweatshirts.

I also paint my toenails for the extra color and style pop. I really really enjoy the creative expression and just being able to look at my toes.

Sometimes I feel sexy and turned on, but it's the minority experience. It's primarily just fun and comfy for my girly side

It's been working really well and I love it!

[Kris Burton]

For me there are many reasons. Primary among them is the ability to take on the role of the pursued rather than the pursuer - if only in my imagination - and get to wear some pretty,sexy outfits while doing it.

[Lacey New]

Because for me an addiction. It was hugely erotic when I started. It was arousing to get a new pair of panties, another bra, some nice stockings, eventually a skirt, blouse and a dress. And on and on. And while the instant arousal is no longer there, it is still part of the act and pleasant for me.

[CarlaWestin]

Hmm? You know, I haven't ever really thought of that.
I think because naked isn't widely acceptable in this region.
Or maybe all that beautiful stuff in my size just fits me better than it does my wife.

[Sabine7]

I do, because I need and desire to do. This is my vehicle to become a woman and to play a female role.

[Jade P]

Dressing feminine feels right because I feel I am genderfluid. I know I am not a normal man but I try to be a good person, husband and father.

[chrissy111]

Because humans wear clothes.

[Kayy]

I gave up asking the why question years ago, and decided to simply accept it’s what I do, besides, I like dressing up!

[GretchenM]

For me the answer is quite complex and largely hypothetical. I started quite young because it fit nicely with some kind of feeling I had about myself that I am somehow different and maybe even part girl. I understand that much better now as I strongly believe everyone is part male-like and part female-like. (The "-like" refers to the unique configuration of neural networks in our mid brain that control our behaviors as a reaction to signals we pick up from our environment. It does not refer to anything sexual. Female-like is feeling and expressing as a female would in everyday life. Nothing special - just being yourself without being actively engaged with being yourself - you just are who you are at that time.)

There are times where my internal sense of self becomes very female-like and I feel a need to respond to that in an outward expression. So when an opportunity arises I dress - usually very casual with just the essentials but sometime more "completely." It is more of an action that completes what I feel so if I look in a mirror for example the outside connects completely with the inside sense of self. Happy and comfortably me. I have gone out a few times but I find that too distracting with respect to the complete experiencing of my sense of self or identity as the complete Gretchen person. It can last for hours, but eventually it fades back toward being more middle of the road until the next time Gretchen is the totality of me with regard to identity. It is a beautiful thing.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Because I absolutely love it !!!!!!

I go out with my CT/TG Meetup group and I meet a lot og GGs while I'm out.

I love positive affirmations, like "I love your dress. Where did you get it", especially from random strangers.

Having knowledge in interest in the styles, and how much work it takes to get pretty, I also give positive affirmations. Last week, one of the SAs and the consignment shop that I go to paired knee-length boots with a short miniskirt. It made me jealous. I complemented her on her boots. She responded, "I got them at Target."

There's almost always some sort of conversation in my experience.

[Jenn A116]

Welcome to the forum!

Why do I dress? Simply because I like it. I long ago gave up the "why" question. Decided that it really didn't matter to me.

[Cheryl T]

Why?
War and Peace would look like a Reader's Digest story if I wrote all my thoughts on this. I've spent decades thinking about it and still have no reason that anyone would accept as definitive.

Basically I feel whole. I feel like this is how I should be. I feel free to express all the feelings inside that are always buried so deep. I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to cry, I want to laugh and I feel I can this way. I don't feel restricted.
It all makes sense to me, just not to others.

[NancySue]

Good question. Looking way back, the one word that keeps reoccurring is comfort. There isn?t one piece of female clothing that I don?t find pleasantly comfortable. My supportive wife?yes, I have one and it?s wonderful, doesn?t understand hose, underwire bras, heels, shape wear, etc. I love slipping on nylons daily as well as a bra and panties. All my tops and skirts, dresses are soft and very comfy.

[Marketa]

There's almost as many reasons as there are CD-ers.

Mine is unfortunately sad: it helps my male-self with depression. At the beginning of this year he was almost on the bring of getting suicidal and even though my origin is bit more complicated, at the end of April I was materialized, so he can "die" and have his peace while I take over and function at home. And luckily it worked. Now I've got my own phone number, email and even bank account and a card, but those are on the legal name, because banking laws, but they are mine.

As one member pointed out in my Six month wrap up thread not long ago: I bring the joy he was missing in his life.

And I agree with you. Men's clothing is dull and especially in comparison with women's clothing.

[crissy7]

It took most of my life ,but this is who i am.I like myself,i just enjoy everything about dressing.And i mean everything,from shapewear to mascara.

[danniUK]

It started out as a sexual thrill thing. It took a long time for me to realise that it was more than that, that my femme side was as big a part of me as my masculine. It'd only been a sex thing for all that time because, hey, dressing up in sexy clothes made me feel sexy! It was easy to tell meself it was nothing more... until I couldn't ignore it any more.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I dress to effectively "Take a vacation away from myself". By becoming "Not me" I am a different person and can completely relax and "de-stress" away from my own concerns and worries. The female part of it is I am also "not a man" and don't have to worry about any "man obligations" either. Complete bliss! Of course the Erotic element , from which it started years ago, is also still there and is a bonus, and it also feels good, just to "be pretty".

[Fiona_44]

Because I am more feminine than masculine and dressing as a woman is showing the world the real me.

[CynthiaD]

Because I'm female. I was born with male body parts, but this does not matter. I'm female and have always been so. I prefer female clothing because it's correct. I wear male clothing sometimes, but it quickly becomes weird and uncomfortable. It's such a relief when I can change back to female clothing. It's the real me.

[Snide_lobster]

I just like it...

I could throw around cliche words like "gender euphoria" (a term of growing popularity in the non-binary/trans community), I could dissect how it is in part fetishistic, it is in part being able to imitate the appearance and style of people I'd be attracted to, but also comes with a completely non-sexual thrill through the challenge of taking myself and transforming into something I'm not (dress up?). I could hypothesize and wax philosophical about how it probably started out as an odd coping response to excess stimuli and a reaction to feelings of humiliation. None of these are incorrect, and while they can illuminate the complexity of my desires, they only kick the can further down the road of, "why".

In short, the truest answer I can give, is that the brain chemistry feedback loop goes like this. I think about crossdressing, I get excited to crossdress, I end up crossdressing, and it makes me feel good

[alwayshave]

Because, as my handle states I always have. Really, For years I tried to determine why. Now, I just accept that I do.

[Mercedes]

I do not really have an answer for why. And my 10 year old self when he first looking at his mother?s underwear didn?t know. Or the 15 year old who shoplifted his first pair of panties couldn?t explain it either. And the thing is, I don?t really need to know why, and at the end of the day, it is part of me and I am glad that I do.

[Geena75]

My standard reply is that it's interesting, exciting, and fun. Since I was a kid I wondered what it would be like to look like a girl, I guess. It's just been in the last couple years that I've been able to fully realize that (and have developed a look that I enjoy). It has been a sort of fascinating escapism to transform into someone who looks so different for a little while. Another thing is that I've always loved the look of a woman dressed pretty and wearing nylons. The wife doesn't dress up like she used to, so Geena is about the only one I can gaze at as long and intently as I like.

[chrissy111]

For me it's just being who I am.

[@tammileetilliso]

Crossdresser is a special being. It should receive awards for its male and female union status.
-

[lance150]

I like crossdressing because it brings out the kinkiness in me. I'm mostly straight.

[Tamsin Englefield]

Part of it, not all of it, is the adrenaline rush of doing something outside of societal norms. Something many people would be shocked by compounded for us closet dwellers by the risk of getting caught or being somehow exposed. CDing is the naughtiest thing I do !

[Jennifer_Ph]

Because if I didn't my friends and family would think something is wrong. I remember being so scared to come 'out' and when I did, it was a relief. The kinda sad part is, now that it's 'normal' for me, there is no thrill of taboo, but I still very much enjoy it.

[Jessica Secret]

It's extremely sexual for me, I LOVE beautiful/romantic lingerie and the way that it feels and looks on me, and my boyfriend loves seeing me in it.

[AllieBellema]

It's hard to explain, but there is just a special thrill in seeing yourself all dolled out infant of a big mirror that makes me want to dress up every time. I love the thrill of wearing a poofy dress every time!

[Veronica Lacey]

Hey there Ashley...good to see you on here.

I believe that I was drawn to femme attire as a child as in my earlier years the women in my life were emotionally more stable and calmer than the male role models I witnessed. Much like a child emulates a hero figure by dressing as them - Superman/woman, a firefighter, a police officer, a doctor/nurse etc. - I believe that I was drawn to the softer, feminine clothing for this reason. I equated suits, ties and male dress shoes as stuffy, restrictive, archaic, unhappy, even angry. Therein was some desire to feel emotionally calm and perhaps thinking that by dressing in the clothing of those women and girls that I would feel more stable, calmer, safer, happier.

In my teens and early 20's, when access to my own supply of female attire exploded, I reinforced this function of safety by socializing myself that I wanted to wear femme clothes as much as male clothes albeit always in private. Finding my way through puberty of course added some twists to this logic but that desire for calm and to be happy was always there.

All in all, I know that I neither look nor act feminine - always a male in women's clothes - but it feel normal to be wearing such things including bra and forms. Somewhere deep inside it feeds that need to feel calm and at ease as those early female influences were in my childhood.

[TheHiddenMe]

When I was 6 or 7 I wanted to try on a dress. That desire never went away.

Eight years ago I arranged four days out, got pretty, bought some clothes, found out I liked going out, and have never looked back. It's fun and adds to my life.

[Georgia Rose]

For me it was curiosity to a large degree but also bought on by the fact that my wife was having to spend extended time away from home helping relatives with health problems, having children etc. I've always been interested in the variety and style of women's clothing and this was boosted by my wife being a keen dressmaker and often asking my opinion on fabrics, styles ,colours etc. Alarmingly the first time I used makeup came a realisation of how much I looked like my mother! Now I just enjoy being somewhat feminine. Love heels and dresses and makeup.

[SophiaRose]

Georgia, your observation about looking like your mother while dressed really hits home with me. Its shocking when I see my mother in a photo of my dressed self. Not that I dont like my mom, but I now deliberately avoid any possibility of resembling her.

[Bea_]

Drab is sort of like an old fashioned brown paper grocery bag that does it's job perfectly but with no sense of the specialness of what's inside. Femme is like a beautifully wrapped gift that celebrates what's inside.

[Traci H]

Love those analogues Bea! So true.

[Karren H]

Simple answer, do not know and do not care why. Gave up long ago trying to answer something that can not be answered and even if I knew, it would not change the past or anything going forward for me.

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

I'm a strait male who enjoys pretending that I'm a woman occasionally for a day, a week, or on longer trips.

My fabulous wife fully accepts and participates in my feminine needs by treating me as her “girlfriend” when I present myself as a woman, at home or in public.

The best part of all this is that we both have tons of fun, mingling with interesting, open minded, kind people.

The shortest answer as to "why I dress" is my need to experience femininity occasionally.

[JohnH]

Why do I wear dresses virtually all the time? Because I am sick and tired of trousers being so ubiquitous on men and overwhelmingly most women. I call that Trouser Tyranny. There are plenty of times that I'm the only one wearing a dress. The last time I wore trousers was at my mother's funeral visitation and service in late September. Before that I wore trousers when I climbed on the roof of my house in April to replace shingles.

John

[HollyGreene]

Because it enriches my life. There is something about CDing that the majority of men will never experience. It's hard to define, and impossible to describe, but once you've had that experience, you just know.
I pity all the people who will never experience what we have.

[Mtoffee]

As a horny kid (11/12) I was attracted to my sister's and mother's panties; the bright colors and lacy and soft fabrics, the used odor and markings. I tried them on and loved the feeling, finding it very exciting and, as Nalasirder says because it was definitely: "off limits". Naturally, I moved on to their bras, stockings, garters, and girdles and was turned on wearing them, repeating the experience frequently. As you say, Ashley, men's clothing and particularly underwear is dull in comparison. Dresses and blouses and other female garments less attract me.
Today I am very much a closet cross-dresser, but am lucky to have the support of my wife (who is often amused with my undressing!). I try not to push it but wear lingerie at times under my clothes when there is little risk of being discovered by "outsiders". Much of the lingerie is vintage copies (which really turn me on), and the sensation is sexy, relaxing, and "forbidden"; so it is now a fetish (described by Wiki as "Transvestic fetishism" I think).

If I was younger and had a nice body and the guts to; I would probably have gone the whole way, going out into the world fully "en femme"; and enjoying lovely hair, makeup, and pretty clothes.


Good question. Looking way back, the one word that keeps reoccurring is comfort. There isn't one piece of female clothing that I don't find pleasantly comfortable. My supportive wife? Yes, I have one and it's wonderful, doesn't understand hose, underwire bras, heels, shapewear, etc. I love slipping on nylons daily as well as a bra and panties. All my tops skirts, and dresses are soft and very comfy.

I agree, NancySue, and also you, Marketa, concerning the anti-depression effect!

Thank you Ashley for the question, and all of you for your answers and your honesty! :):)

[Joanne Heels]

For me it's erotic and an total admiration of the female form and everything women wear.
Like most of us I started at a young age, I was 11 or 12 when I was helping my sister pack for a trip when I noticed a very see through bra and panty set, after she set off I went back to her room to look at these wonders.
Then I thought to myself, I'm home alone and I would like to try these on, so I stripped off and tried them on, wow! what a great feeling it was and that was the first time I had been sexually aroused, ever since then I have dressed for sexual pleasure and in later years also for the absolute escapism it gives me from my otherwise very masculine lifestyle I live.

[Freddi]

For me I feel more comfortable dressed in a skirt or dress with a bra,panties & stockings. I've no desire to be a woman or transition but I don't see why I shouldn't wear what I feel comfortable in. This includes make-up etc. Its not harming anyone my wife has no issue with it,in fact often encourages me to dress and if I haven't dressed for a while asks me why not.

[JennyOpalstar1]

I am learning that I am CD'ing not so much to stave off dysphoria (which is real for me, but not to brain-breaking levels) but more along the lines of simply enjoying wearing and presenting as female, when I can. Yes, it gives me a hit of dopamine when Jenny can surface.

[NatalieR]

1. It’s fun.
2. It makes me feel great!
3. I always wanted to be “one of the girls” and it has brought me closer to some women friends and relatives.
4. It allows me to indulge a harmless fantasy I’ve had since my earliest memories.

[Georgina]

Ever since I put on my first slip, over sixty years ago, I was hooked. I now wear female clothes in my leisure time but not always with full make up. I have ventured out in public but I get most enjoyment visiting friends who know about my dressing. They accept me without wig and make up and this shortens the time taken to get ready. I do not want to be a woman nor do I claim to be feminine but I do love the clothes and how they make me feel and look.

[Aroara Xanthemae]

I feel some relief or comfort or an escape a fulfillment filling an empty spot or a release I love the feel of a petty coat and a dress with some tight panties and nylons? don?t listen to me I?m a crazy old man

[Melinda Jean]

Why do I dress? Woo, that's a somewhat complicated answer, for me at least.

I have been attracted to women's clothing for as long as I can remember. As I grew from adolescent to teenager to adult, the motivation has changed. As an adolescent, just the thrill from the feel of the fabric of lacy underthings and pantyhose was a huge draw. As a extremely introverted teen, it was purely erotic. I guess I can chalk that up to the raging hormones of going through puberty and numerous opportunities to experience dressing in frilly things. You can figure out the rest of that time.

Now, as a senior citizen (I guess), that is retired and divorced, I find contentment and relaxation in the fact that I can dress when I want and to what level I want. It just feels right. Some days I may just under-dress with panties and a bra. Other days it could be that with forms, a simple outfit and heels. Did I mention I love heels? Some days its full blown makeup along with what has been previously stated. Just depends on the day. The erotic aspect does surface too, I just never know. It's always a roll of the dice.

At this point in my life, I hold no hope of becoming involved in another relationship, mainly due to a medical condition that in my mind, makes me unattractive. Then try to throw in my lifestyle to that mix, I doubt that will happen, but you never know. I'm not actively looking for it, but if it happens, then so be it.

[BrendaPDX]

I dress because I have to, but I love it. I like the way I look and the feel of the clothing, but that's just me.

[getsmeexcited]

I started doing this consistently about a little over a year ago when my wife was on vacation and I started trying on her panties. Immediate love affair and turn on. Tried on every pair in her drawer and couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror.
Now I say consistently because I did this on very rare occasions where again I was home alone and got all of the same feeling BUT this time I decided I wasn't going to stop. I took a pic of myself in a playful pose with wife's panties and bra and sent it to her. She responded that she didn't mind about the panties but the bra was a hard no! Well I continued wearing the panties and occasionally wore a sports bra too but didn't really push the issue. Over time (a long time) I added garters and
stocking. I'm slowly getting her over the fear that I want to go whole hog with this and either present as a woman full time or transition. Thinking back now I have very early memories (like maybe 5) the first being caught by my mother when trying on some nylons I found on the floor. Some time after that maybe 12 or so I started going in to my mom's room and going thru her drawers. I loved the feel and look of her undergarments especially remember being fascinated by an open bottom girdle. Must have influenced me heavily because I want to get a vintage one like it to this day. In fact the vintage stuff is my cup of tea. So all these years pass (now 68) and I'm wearing panties daily and bras more so and my wife has seen me in them but again I don't parade around in the bras. During our special Saturday (wink, wink) night I dress in all lingerie and she's fine with it there funny enough. I know I don't want to transition and I'd never pull of dressing completely up because having done it when alone I see I look ridiculous. Just can't hide my masculine face with a wig and a bit of makeup but I would like to get all made up and go out with my wife in another city where nobody would bother me because it's so common and just enjoy the thrill/vibe. Ladies night out sort of thing even with her friends if I thought they wouldn't blab. Or if there was a club where guys who cross dress met up just to b.s and have a drink. Nothing sexual. Not something I'd do all the time and I can easily play the full "guy" role so I mostly just under dress. I wish my wife was more fully supportive so I could wear what I want around the house. For me it is relaxing yet a sexual element still exists. I still have to look at myself in the mirror and can't believe it's me in a bra and panties so the forbidden part is there. Comfort, hell yes and I love the colors, prints, lace and bows. A bra strap is like a big hug. Compression from stockings is like a drug.
Same with panties. So comfortable, so sexual so damn confusing! So many layers to it

[ossian]

Why do I dress?

I've been doing crossdressing since I was 10 years old. At times I wished I was a girl, but realized that was never going to happen. I still kept dressing. I love everything about it. The way it makes me feel. All of the crazy outfits that women get to wear. I wish I had a better answer. I actually don't know why. I use to feel ashamed about it, but now a days I accept it for who I am. I'm ok with it.

[Christina89]

I crossdress cause I fell more relaxed. Once Christina comes out and male me disappears a weight is lifted and everything is gone. Stress, nerves and anger all gone.

[Sophie_Rose]

I totally get that feeling! For me, it?s about feeling comfortable in my own skin. Dressing the way I want gives me a sense of freedom and helps me unwind. It?s like escaping the usual pressures and just being me for a while.