The mind never stops

[Maria 60]

I feel as if I have to explain some history for this to make sense. This summer I asked my wife what she thought about me going to a venue that someone from this community has in our city. I watched as her hair was turning grey and wrinkles were forming right in front of me and I decided to stop the conversation right there. Instead she wanted to talk about it, telling me taking my Friday drives in a tinted window car and maybe stepping out to put gas or air in a tire that there was risk but it was small. But going totally out in public was another. Make a long story short she just told me that if I wanted that it was better we tell the children because I will be taking a bigger risk of being seen and if I was confident and head strong enough. I told her I didn't want to complicate things and just leave things simple as they are.
Our neighbourhood started getting a lot of criminal activity, car jackings and home invasions and on one of my Friday drives I came home and all the lights were on in the house and my wife waited for me and didn't go to sleep. Not wanting her to feel this discomfort I stopped the Friday drives and a few weeks later she asked me why I wasn't going anymore and I explained it to her. In response she appreciated that I did that for her and said as it was a low risk going for those drives, but it still was a risk of an accident or being seen and felt like it was a weakness and would feel better if I kept it more in the closest.
I respected her wishes and after all back in 1986 when I told her about my hobby her main concern was if I was going to be happy in the closest, in which I told her I would be.
Since our last conversation about the drive I only went out dressed for my tradional Halloween drive.
This week I had to take her to a medical procedure that was going to take about three hours. It was to far for me to come back home and the clinic was still under Covic rules and only patients were allowed in so I told my wife I would go to a coffee shop or just wait in the car. My wife suggested for me to pass the time she was sure I would enjoy if I dressed up and drove around to kill those three hours. I did that and I have to admit I miss it so much, I put in gas and the feeling of the outdoor air and walking on pavement, I can't explain it.
Thank goodness everything went well with the procedure. Yesterday being Friday she asked me if I missed the Friday drive, she explained to me she didn't understand it because if I'm telling her the truth I never leave the car except to put gas, so what's the big deal of just driving around doing nothing. I really didn't want to get into it but I explained to her that it was something to look forward to at the end of the week. An excuse to fully dress with make-up and jewelry and wear something new and to totally look my best as a women. I'm not going to bother doing all that just to sit around the house and she then admitted she was wondering why I wasn't asking her to buy me makeup lately. I told her I'm happy that I'm able to dress in front of her in the house and underdress most of the time. The point of this long post is, the truth be told ever since I stopped months ago my mind never stops thinking about it. I'm always looking into every conversation with my wife and kids and seeing if a drive can fit in. If she calls me at work and tells me she's going to her moms or out for dinner with some co-workers or out with one of children for whatever reason or notice her car needs gas and maybe make a short dress drive out of it. Even though I told myself I want to keep it in the closet my mind is subconsciously always working and trying to find an excuse to take a drive, it's exhausting me.
It's almost like I don't even realize I'm doing it and all at once it's like someone snaps their fingers and I snap out of it reminding myself to resist these feelings. The mind never stops thinking and is very powerful.

[Joanie CD]

Well, the bottom line is that dressing up is important to you, just like other things in your life, so it stays in the forefront of your thoughts. You can't get rid of it. Your wife is doing a good job of supporting you so far. I don't know how old your kids are, but if they're at least teenage, I think they would just see it as *another* way parents are weird :-). IOW, it wouldn't bother them.

[audreyinalbany]

I don't know about others, but for myself I find that the more the urge to dress is suppressed, the more desirable it becomes. I think thats just kind of a human nature thing

[docrobbysherry]

I've told u this before, Maria. I just don't get how easily you're satisfied? Early on I went out for drives dressed, too. But, even those 2 times were in daylite. Nite time driving sounds completely pointless to me!:straightface:

I tried underdressing for a week before that phase wore off!:sad:

Even tho I'm a shy introvert I go out dressed to meet people. Otherwise, I'm perfectly happy dressing to 9's at home just for me and for photos!:daydreaming:

How u and others here that r satisfied just throwing on a few fen things, under dressing in whatever, or drive around in the dark astounds me!:eek:
I believe it's human nature to always want and do more!:battingeyelashes:

[bridget thronton]

I do not leave the house dressed often - but like your wife Maria my wife insisted I tell out adult children before I did (she did not want strangers to tell them they had seen me dressed - my kids and their spouses were fine with it and so was my wife).

[char GG]

Would you consider asking your wife to go on the Friday night drives with you? You both might enjoy that.

[Aka_Donna]

You have had a desire to go out for a long long time. I don't think the desire will go away or that you will be happy until you do. It's time to think about discussing/telling kids.

[NancySue]

Yrs, the more you suppress the desire to go out, the stronger the urge. Char is right. It?s what we do. We?re cognizant of the risks, accident, police, etc. but the enjoyment is beyond description. Where there?s a will, there?s a way. Go for it.

[April Rose]

I think Char's idea is a good one.

[Stephanie47]

I classify myself as an in-home dresser, although the pull to leave my home has caused me a lot of angst on occasion. It was something I had to experience. At first it was just a drive near my neighborhood. It was late enough that few people would be out. Then came getting out of my car to walk to a night return slot at the library, mail a letter, retrieve a free newspaper from a box, increasing the distance I had to walk. Then, I had to get out of the car and stroll through a safe neighborhood. I found that once I did it, the urge or pull subsided. I think, if your car is distinctive or has a unique license plate, then it is possible you can run into "Hey, I saw a woman, who was not your wife, driving your car." Yikes! A Char proposed, have your wife go for a drive with you and let her drive. With winter and cold weather approaching I think it becomes easier to conceal one's face with hats and scarves and a longer coat. I would love to live in an area with snow so I could don a dress, boots and hosiery, coat, hat and muffler. Although my wife hated having to wear a dress to work in cold weather, I would like to experience the cold breeze caressing my legs.

[Genifer Teal]

Many people here have issues with their own dressing. I can't imagine what issues a spouse would have. It would take them at least as long as you to get okay with it, maybe even longer. It is sad, but understandable you need to get so much approval before you're able to try something so seemingly benine. It shouldn't have to be the big deal it's turned into. Unfortunately, that varies depending on where you live.

Is telling the kids an option? Maybe you should start there if she was serious.