Going out? Why.

[Julie York]

There is something I've noticed about the whole "going out" thing and it is interesting.
I have not been out and don't really want to unless it was some crazed CD party. (And even then it would take some doing).

But if I did go out to town, the thrill would NOT come from expressing my feminine persona and "being me" in public. It would come from some perverse thrill of being in a secret world that I am not supposed to be allowed in. It would be the thrill of deception.

I see a lot of that in some posts. And yet in other posts you see that someone has taken a great daring step in being able to express themselves as they wish to be perceived.

You can see it when someone uses some method of presentation that is asking for attention. "I wore six inch heels and red pvc skirt to the mall and it was such a thrill".

And in others your heart goes out to them for being so couragious in trying to free themselves.

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?

[Tina Dixon]

My self I am getting bored getting dressed at home and just sitting there, I want to go out in to the world, but not the mall so much but to CD events now that would be fun, but I just need to go the next step.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

For my sake, it is something I "had" to become more "whole". To become more "alive" and not just "existing" I'm still mostly just "existing" though.


Veronica

[Toyah]

There is something I've noticed about the whole "going out" thing and it is interesting.
I have not been out and don't really want to unless it was some crazed CD party. (And even then it would take some doing).

But if I did go out to town, the thrill would NOT come from expressing my feminine persona and "being me" in public. It would come from some perverse thrill of being in a secret world that I am not supposed to be allowed in. It would be the thrill of deception.

I see a lot of that in some posts. And yet in other posts you see that someone has taken a great daring step in being able to express themselves as they wish to be perceived.

You can see it when someone uses some method of presentation that is asking for attention. "I wore six inch heels and red pvc skirt to the mall and it was such a thrill".

And in others your heart goes out to them for being so couragious in trying to free themselves.

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?

I am with you hun cannot really see the point but admire those who do I guess

[Faye Emmette]

I don't get out anymore and not too often when I had a sweety.
Being out is just an extension of being dressed and following the natural path of being a woman. I did enjoy the wind on my legs and the feel of my suspenders stretching sitting down in a restaurant but this was also a bit of the "I've got a secret" thing too.
I have to go shopping today and that means changing so there is the convenience too.
So, depending on chromsomes, it's natural to go out, a bit naughty, novel and convenience. For me.

[Girly Sara]

Hi Julie,

I went out shopping enfemme for the first time last month and it was very liberating for me. Been on the scene for 3 years and this was THE big one for me...my biggest challenge!

I was so happy to have overcome my inner demons and reach out to the real world. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy when i first stepped out but the overall experience turned out just fine with not one adverse comment being made. Loved it although it also felt very normal and i didn't have the 'euphoric' feeling i thought i would have.

Just need to organise another trip now!

Hugs from Sara xxxx

[Sherlyn]

Hi Julie ..I go out ..just coz I go out no matter how I dressed ,,,I just spoke to Di about this ..... when I'm dressed I notice not that my heels are clicking on the pavement or that Im wearing a skirt and its forbidden .. its taking me to this point to get comfortable going out ... its not the forbidden thrill of being dressed in a public place...its simply at this point in my life ..this is the side of me I,m choosing to be in this world around me ...and I'm not staying in just because I'm wearing my female clothes and comfy with them :)

[Sam-antha]

Greetings to the world out there !
I am honestly not sure why. Just want to. Because. (Warum ? Darum ! ) To feel different to the usual me.
.....To be different to the usual me.
........ To be not me. Yes, that is it.
.............To be someone other than me. Which is difficult.
Does dressing differently help ? For some considerable number of years, yes, it must have done.
But why? I do enjoy dressing and going out.

Never had the urge to go to a gathering tho.

Samm

[Jodi Lynn]

I go out because it makes me feel better. I go to a local gay bar on Saturday night when TG girls take over the place, and I love being out with the other "girls". It is a huge step for some girls. It was for me I know. Took me a long time to get the guts to do it. And like Tina said it get boring dressing and home with to were to go.

[DonnaT]

To experience the whole of being me. Some stay in the closet, some venture out around, but in, the house, others go outdoors.

I feel like I'm in a jail if I'm not able to get out.

[Jennaie]

Very interesting responses to your thread. I guess perhaps I am bit different. I have thought about this quite a bit and I think that I go out because I need to be recongnized as female. I want my female persona to be accepted.

I have read a lot of information on this subject and I suppose the most common way that I have heard it stated is " Some crossdressers have a need to be validated as a woman" so they go to great lengths to go out in public in an attemp to "pass". I think I fit into this catagory.

I have read many post that say, who cares? why worry about passing? why do you care what others think of you? Well, I suppose this is my response to those post. I care, I have a need for people to see me as female, and if they can't, for me at least, there's not much point in going out.

Everyone already knows I am a man, and I don't have a need for everyone to know that I am man who likes to dress up in womens clothing.

[Missy]

For it is the trill and shock value I get from others I have a form of showing off in front of others :eek:

Missy :)

[GypsyKaren]

When I was a little kid I dreamed of being out and about as the girl I knew I was, but wasn't. As I got older I kept thinking how wonderful it would be to just be able to sit in a restaurant as the real me and do something simple like have a cup of coffee. These were always pipe dreams for me, I knew it would never happen. It was all quite depressing, and I knew I was stuck with the trick Mother Nature had played on me.

A funny thing happened after I came out to my Kat. She decided to make me up so we both could see the real me, and when she was finished and I saw myself, I cried. She took me out into the world for the first time, it was so surreal, like I was moving but time had stopped. This was the first time out for the real me, try living a lie for over 50 years and going out as a fraud, I don't recomend it.

I go out all the time now dressed as a woman, because to me that's what I've always been. The lamb got tired of wearing wolves clothing all of her life, she's now settled into a comfort zone she has no intention of leaving. I go out because I can, I'm no longer trapped within a prison of a closet. I go out so I can finally breathe free air, and after a lifetime of living in black and white, I go out so I can see the colors of life. Hope this explains it to you.

Karen

[Christina Nicole]

I've posted about this before, but here goes again. I go out to be me,to be seen as me and to interact with other woman and the rest of the world as me. Christina.

That and "all dressed up and no where to go," isn't much fun.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[LeannL]

That is a very deep question (for me at least). On the physical side, the feeling of the wind or night air under a skirt is a thrill (not quite the right word) that I don't get when I am wearing shorts. It is also a function of how I feel (which may for months at a time not include a fem mode). As I ahve stated elsewhere, when I feel feminine, I will actually go to church dress (don't hijack the thread on this please) because that is how I fell best about going before God. I do go out to eat, to the movies, the symphony and shopping dressed. The latter includes groceries to women's clothes. I do try to pass and I think I can do a reasonable job of it (except for the dreaded teanage girls). I am luck in that I am 5 ft 7 and 155 lbs. There are times that putting on a skirt just feels very natural (like now except I have a red dress on). It is me and if I have to do something, then I go as who I am at the time. I find it important for me to do the best job of passing for two reasons. Minimizing being read makes it safer for me and it disrupts others lives less (especially at church). If I get read at church and someone is not paying attention, I have left and gone to another mass.

Don't know if this explains why I go out but I tried.

[Julie Avery]

I only go out in public as a male, but I show feminine aspects, as I've posted ad nauseum, nails, brows, jewelry, fragrance, and most extremely, shaved legs with womens' shorts, which are shorter than men's.

Why do I do it? I don't have a very good answer even in the privacy of my own thoughts, except that, at age 51, these are things I've always wanted to do, and time is getting short.

These are things that are very close to the core of who I am. I would like to be who I am, and to be seen for who I am, while I still have time.

[Sally24]

I have to agree with you Jennaie, I do care. If I couldn't pass at all, then I wouldn't go out. That must mean that I want that outside validation or confirmation that I could be female, if only for short periods of time. I'm 6 foot but I've gotten down to 150 lbs so I think the "tall girl" thing works for me.

[Butterfly Bill]

Have you ever been out in a slightly loose dress on a warm windy day and been able to feel the breezes all up and down your body? That's an example of the first reason. Can't do that just around the house.

The other reason is absolutely not having to worry about whether or not anybody knows, and the feeling of relief, then serenity.

[Teresa Amina]

I haven't gotten out yet, but am looking forward to the experience. Why do it? Because you can't hide forever, especially from yourself. If there are "safe" venues, and you're comfortable being yourself instead of that front-to-the-world you've pretended to be, how can you not eventually get out there? A few more details to take care of (like my voice) and I'll step out.:)

[JoannaDees]

Good question Julie! I've been out, and many times as I do, no questions asked or maybe a raised brow, I think, WTF AM I DOING? WHY do I do this? What am I trying to portray or prove? I don't really have an answer. I really don't. It's not sexual. It's not .... not ... see ... I have no idea. It's just who I want to be. Is that an answer? Not to me. I'm SO confused.

I remember sitting on the beach in Santa Cruz, after "the walk of see me", and nothing, and I"m sitting there, wondering, WHY? I had no answer, but I did have a feeling ... and that feeling was "because"!

[Faye Emmette]

I think some of the answer is " It's just being who I want to be..".. Tha is the woman side of you just doing what comes naturally.
With Missy and Jen, I am the opposite and the mindset that 'people won't be staring at me' let me escape the house. And I just fitted in and let my girlfriend do the talking :cool:
I suppose these questions just confirm that we are all different ... thank Heavens.

[DawnRodgers]

I think it is a self validation. If you can go about and preople accept you as a woman, well you are a woman. I certainly feel a nedd to be so accepted as I attempt to look as much like a contemporary female as possible. I dn't want to attract undo attention with dress or make-up. Just be accepted as a female. Yes, there is the "all dressed up and nowhere to go" mibdset. After all, why go to the attempts to be "noirmal" in appearance if no one knows, sees or accepts.
Go to a mall, the movies or just out for a walk. Feels so good, so natural and makes me so happy and satisfied.
Dawn

[KathrynW]

WHY?
The million dollar question....
Well, let's face the facts....shall we?
Some of us are far more passable than others. If you're unquestionably passable and can pull it off, I see no reason not to.
If I felt I was passable, I might consider going out in public. But, that's not the case and will most likely never be the case. But it's not really something I lose much sleep over... :straightface:

[Ms. Donna]

Hi Julie,

Good thread, this one.

I don't do the dress-up thing. Not that it isn't fun, but it's just not who I am. My presentation to the world is something inbetween: sometimes I get read as a woman, other times as a man - and the odd WTF from some. I joke that it's my goal to screw with at lease one preson's head every day - to let the world know that it isn't all black & white, male & female, man & woman.

I have, at times done the white bra under a white t-shirt thing when shopping: basically being quite obvious as to what I was and what I was wearing. While it goes to the above, there is a 'thrill' knowing that other people know and that in itself can be fun.

I think Joanna's response is great: It's just who I want to be - or rather who I am. It's about being honest with myself - and with others. I'm not some 'bloke hanging out at the pub' - I'm not some 'macho' sports guy - nor am I this 'girly-girl' or what not. I'm just me: strange, ambiguous, sometimes confused and never to be normal me.

I go out in public because I have to - and for too long I did it disguised as someone I wasn't.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Nlenro-nu2]

Hi! I'm Nlenro-nu2 I don't believe in messing with other people's heads. There's enough psychologists, psychiatrists and evil people that do that!
I do crossdress mostly at home but occasionally I go out dressed as female
Sure I get lots of guff and ridicule from those put downers they really don't understand!. My true spirit is female if I understand what a female is but my body may show otherwise if I'm not correct. If I live as a male then I'm hiding my trueself the way I see it! Sure I could go on seroquel or other psychotic drug to nulify my sex brain receptors but that's like being the walking dead.. I know cause I tried it! That type of life isn't for me! I agree that we should live our true self. Yes we often do find our trueself
from straying away from it! Listen to yourself and your feelings. Don't make the big mistake I did which was... listening to others telling me that I was wrong about things and followed their advise only to learn that I was right and they were wrong!

[sharifemme]

Julie...

Really good question!!

I have felt all my life that I was to a large extent female inside. All of that time until I reached where I am now, was spent in the closet. I never really revealed that side of me to anybody. It was depressing for me to have to always be something I felt I was not. Sure, I learned to be macho and to live in a male dominated world but it wasn't me. When I came out to my wife and some others three years ago, it was the start of something new.

Going out as my other self gives me a sense of relief that I don't have to hide anything in the environment where I am. It IS liberating to be able to be who you are with no guilt. However, I can't do it near home, not because I am afraid or because I wouldn't want anybody to know about me for my own sake. The only reason I protect that knowledge in my local area is for my family's sake.

For the record, I don't "pass" and don't feel I have to. I don't intentionally dress to shock although I dress in a way that pleases me. And finally, if I am out and en femme and someone has a problem with it, it's their problem and not mine!

By the way, Julie, if I gave a wild CD party, I'd love for you to come! LOL!

Sharifemme



There is something I've noticed about the whole "going out" thing and it is interesting.
I have not been out and don't really want to unless it was some crazed CD party. (And even then it would take some doing).

But if I did go out to town, the thrill would NOT come from expressing my feminine persona and "being me" in public. It would come from some perverse thrill of being in a secret world that I am not supposed to be allowed in. It would be the thrill of deception.

I see a lot of that in some posts. And yet in other posts you see that someone has taken a great daring step in being able to express themselves as they wish to be perceived.

You can see it when someone uses some method of presentation that is asking for attention. "I wore six inch heels and red pvc skirt to the mall and it was such a thrill".

And in others your heart goes out to them for being so couragious in trying to free themselves.

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?

[EricaCD]

Very, very interesting thread and thanks to all who have replied. It has made for fascinating reading.

My thinking is along the lines of Jennaie and Sally24. To the extent I go out, I would like to be generally perceived as female. If I believed that I would immediately be read as male by everyone that glanced at me, I seriously doubt I would have any desire to venture into public. This is absolutely not any sort of statement, and I wish the best to the girls here for whom passing is either unimportant or specifically not the point.

My personal preference runs smack into the inconvenient reality that my height will limit my ability to pass in public :( And yes I do know that there are plenty of women out there over 6' tall. I also know that many of them get a second glance (even in New York), which is what I am trying to avoid. So I plan to stick to evenings and very early mornings (limited light), thinly populated areas (my relative height is not as immediately apparent), etc. I very much enjoyed my first drive - again, hard to discern my height behind the wheel. You get the idea. Like good makeup, a good wig or Adobe Photoshop, these are just additional tools to ensure that the image presented externally matches the internal feeling to the best of my ability.

Erica

[Shelly Preston]

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?


Hi Julie

Your question may be the wrong way round
I would suggest going out is normal.

The main reason for not going out is fear of being exposed, spotted, humiliated or worse. If everyone knows then its less of a problem going out. I am sure most here do not want to cause offence to any one.
If it was easy to go about your business and not create any unfavourable reactions. There would be more of us out on a regular basis.

[Caitlintgsd]

I have to agree with Shelly. I was stuck in the closet for years due to my thinking that my height was a problem (6'2"). I realized that the odds of my growing shorter were rather slim. I figured that it was time to go out in the world and just see what happens. I've never regretted it and only wished that I'd done so earlier. Yes I get looks and an occasion comment but my world has opened up tremendously.

[BonnieJG]

For me I'v I don't go out I'v been dressing for about 5 years now. Ive been out with just a bra under my reg. couthes, I don't think I would NOT PASS as a female I look to much like a man when I'm dressed, but my wife alway says you should of been a girl ! I would like try it just see what It wood be like to just go out side fully dressed and just go for a walk mybe at night to start, just to see what it would be like to go outside all dress To experience the whole of being Bonnie.

Any help would be welcome how to take that first step ouside !

[Julie York]

Hi Julie

Your question may be the wrong way round
I would suggest going out is normal.

The main reason for not going out is fear of being exposed, spotted, humiliated or worse. If everyone knows then its less of a problem going out. I am sure most here do not want to cause offence to any one.
If it was easy to go about your business and not create any unfavourable reactions. There would be more of us out on a regular basis.

You have a good point. And if there was nothing to fear then everyone would be able to express themselves any way they chose so the idea of going out would not come into it.

But as there is a lot to fear, I was wondering what the main driving motivation was.

I'm surprised more thrill seekers haven't replied. Maybe there aren't as many as I thought.

[Deidra Cowen]

My three main reasons for liking to go out enfemme:

1) I love looking and acting like a female. I feel great when I am totally dressed up and enjoy going out that way. I honestly believe I got a lot of fem in me and probably should have been a woman!

2) I do my best on my appearance and this is shallow but I absolutely get a huge thrill when I get postive feedback. My best situation for that seems to be when I am driving around Atlanta. Several times I've had guys notice me and seem to make postive remarks or gestures. Also a few times GGs out at bars have complimented me...I remember each and every time! It just feels great.

3) Whenever I break a new benchmark I get a thrill and rush from it. For example last Friday night I went to my first Str8 bar. Loved the feel of butterflies in my stomach as I drove there and walked in. When finally leaving after a sucessful evening I had a great feeling of accomplishment and a rush from taking a chance on a risky act (going to a Str8 bar as Deidra was very risky feeling to me at least) and coming thru it well.

Cool thread and I enjoyed reading your question and the other responses. :thumbsup:

[Phoebe Reece]

My first memories of crossdressing go back to when I was around 4 years old. I dressed up in an old dress of my grandmother's, stockings, heels, and a floppy hat. I wasn't content to just sit in the house like that so I walked outside, marched down the sidewalk next to the house (it was on a corner), and talked to everyone I met, before coming back into the yard at the back. I had fun doing that then and have fun doing the equivalent of that now.

When I was employed overseas where my crossdressing was restricted to inside my house for many years, I got extremely tired of being all dressed up with nowhere to go. Since I retired from that two years ago, I don't bother to dress up unless I am going out.

I do get a thrill from pushing the envelope a bit and going to places that any ordinary woman might go. I've never had a problem doing this, although I am read as a crossdresser by many that I encounter. And I often get a chance to educate people about crossdressing in a positive way when I get a chance to discuss it with curious strangers.

I have been involved in amateur drama for many years. Crossdressing in public is a lot like acting on a live stage - there's just a bigger stage and a larger audience.

I do have to say that trying to convery what it means to go out to someone that hasn't done it is a little like trying to explain color to a blind person. You're never really going to get it until you do it yourself.

[Debbie Kong]

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?

This is a joy to answer. Just to set things straight, I have never gone shopping or carried out day to day routines "enfemme". With the exception being a lunch date with an Admirer all of my outings have been to night spots. It can be fun to go out to clubs and such. I meet more people as Debbie than I do as ___ and for the most part my experiences out on the town have been fulfilling.

I also must add that I do like to buy vintage dresses and going out at night is a great way to show off my wardrobe. Sadly, I suppose, my wardrobe lacks clothing which is more suitable for daytime outings and perhaps that has, mostly, prevented me from going public during daylight.

An admission I must make is that the first few times I did go "out" were forced upon me by myself. A TG friend of mine, many miles away, had gone out for the first time and I felt I had to make that step too. So I did. It just became addicting after that. I wonder though if it had it not been for my friend "raising the bar" (That would be a good Sport Theme!) how much longer it would have taken me to go stepping out.

Debbie

[jdotp75]

went out for the first time this past saturday night to a local club. main reason: i wanted to know if i was really as hot as my girlfriend says i am, or if she's just that supportive. turns out to be both. i got hit on twice before we even made it to the club! but as soon as i spoke, the gig was up. had so much fun we're going out again asap.

[Clare]

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?1. Because I need to. 2. A sense of belonging.

On the few occassions that I have gone out in public, it was to determine whether I felt right in that environment. If you don't try, you'll never know!

In the future, I want to be as presentable as possible in femme mode so that I can feel comfortable in public areas.

[cindybarnes]

Hi Julie,

It usualy takes a CD event to get me out of the house dressed. These are always fun times since I get to see friends and relax as Cindy. There is no real pressure about passing usualy, but sometimes we mingle with non- CD folks.

I have just gone out once during the day while dressed to shop. I did that to prove to myself that I could do it I guess. Its not something I plan to do often but realy do want to try again. Im not one to try and draw attention to myself,as big as I am that already worries me !

Cindy

[TGMarla]

I've never gone out. I've been told numerous times here that I ought to, and that I'm passable, but being passable in the pics I choose to post is a far cry from actually passing in public. In pics, I may pass for the moment that the shutter captured me, but in real time, one has to pass every moment that one is dressed.

I'd like to try it for the same reasons Cindy said: to see if I could do it. I'd also like to try it just for the experience. Simply put, I'd like to walk around in the world as a lady. My situation is such, though, that it causes me logistical problems in attempting it. I have no idea when the people I live with are coming and going, so the likelihood of me coming home to a populated household is far too great for me to make the attempt.

Like KathrynW, I don't lose any sleep over it.

[sherri]

A friend of mine once said that if you spend too much time alone, sooner or later you figure out that you're in poor company. :cheeky:

We are social creatures, and that attribute doesn't cease when we put on a dress. It is only natural to desire interaction. For me, it isn't about passing, but it is about longing to interact with others as a feminine personality, perhaps even finding those special people with whom I might forge relationships.

But I will admit that another aspect of it is narcissistic. The thrill of taking the plunge, the physical commitment of stepping out of the car, the feel of the clothes, and wanting others to see what I see in the mirror -- all part of it, yes indeedy.

[michelle19845]

my reason to go out would be to go a step further,but right now i am content with being in the closet.i have taken very small steps toward going out,but it would have to be the right place and the right time most of all.i would hope to pass as a woman and not be noticed at all as CD.


michelle19845

[sharifemme]

Michelle...

I don't know what you look like or how you act when dressed. You could be the most beautiful, ladylike person in the country, but SOMEONE will ALWAYS spot you as TG if you are a crossdresser, especially if you haven't been out much. If you are going to wait until you can "pass" in all situations to get out of your closet, I'm afraid all you will do is exchange that closet for one that lays horizontal and 6 ft under. In other words, life is short and if you want to go out, GO OUT! I'm not saying this to be mean but to encourage you. If you need a controlled situation, go out in a known TG friendly place not in your home area. I'm sure some of your sisters here who live near you would make arrangements to go with you if you want. I know I would if you lived within an hour's drive of me. Just pick your time and place, make arrangements and DO IT! You won't be sorry!

Sharifemme


my reason to go out would be to go a step further,but right now i am content with being in the closet.i have taken very small steps toward going out,but it would have to be the right place and the right time most of all.i would hope to pass as a woman and not be noticed at all as CD.


michelle19845

[Jenna1561]

I have always wanted to be accepted as a girl/woman. I go out dressed and do some shopping, run errands, and have lunch. I enjoy dressing and seeing myself as a woman. I hope others see me that way and I usually do pass as a woman these days.

I enjoy the time as a woman, I enjoy talking to others as a woman and they perceive me as that. I get no 'thrill' from it but I do have a sense of deep satisfaction.

I enjoy looking like a woman and being accepted as a woman. That's who I am.


Jenna

[Lissa Stevens]

For me it is that I feel like wearing women's clothes is natural so I should be able to go out enfemme. I don't go all the way because I would be ridiculed and laughed at, and no matter what some say that hurts. (Picture Dick Butkus enfemme) The reason I want to pass is so I am not laughed at. Hence I only go out wearing things that could go either way. Occasionally I will cross the line a little but not often.

[Sam-antha]

Problem, going out dressed looking like a woman and feeling that I look like a woman is something.
But what do women feel like when they go out dressed as women ?
Uh ?

[Toni]

Michelle...

If you are going to wait until you can "pass" in all situations to get out of your closet, I'm afraid all you will do is exchange that closet for one that lays horizontal and 6 ft under. In other words, life is short and if you want to go out, GO OUT
Sharifemme
I couldn't agree more, I go to a gay bar once a week and to church once a week and these two outings make me feel wonderful. I've never had any adverse reactions unless you count a teenage girl shouting "I'm a laydee" I just said "So am I" she said "You wish" and I said "Yes but not as much as you pet" we both just laughed and I went on my merry way. I'm not really sure whether I pass or not so I don't dress over the top but dress my age and try to blend in and I honestly believe this helps as 99% of people are too wrapped up in themselves to bother about me. The picture is of me and a living statue in Dam Square Amsterdam.

[Donna O]

I do it for several different reasons. It makes me a better person. It makes me feel good about myself. My wife approves of it. My wife will accompany me to different places while dressed.

[Sally24]

Make your first outing safe. Definitely at night, although my first was in the middle of the afternoon. The less movement the better, if you're unsure. So go for a drive, preferably as the passenger, or go to a restaurant. You'll be seated most of the time so height or movement is minimized. You also have less close contact with others. I wouldn't recomend a walk, especially alone, as you'll be exposed and usually close to people passing by in their cars.

Try a movie. It's low lighting and people are not looking at you. Many recommend TG friendly places and clubs. I tend to just go to mainstream places a GG would go in her regular day. Most people are not looking around much and anybody but teenagers usually leave others alone.

Find someway to get out, if you feel the desire. It is quite liberating and the feeling is hard to describe. I have to agree with many that the feeling of the sun and wind around a light skirt or dress is for me the best!! I do wear jeans and pantsuits to fit in with the average girl but my real love is silk dresses, which is what I always wear out in the evening to a show.

Good Luck!

[Jodi]

Sally, You are correct about making the first outing safe, but I disagree with you about going out at night. I have been out and about for a number of years. Going out at night, especially by onesself can be downright dangerous. People are mugged and beaten at night in areas that one would consider to be a safe place.
I would strongly recommend the first outing during the day. A mall during the week is best, or maybe a walk in a nice public park.

Jodi

[CammyT]

Aloha,
Next month, I'm going to try it! Just a short evening walk I think, with someone who's willing to lend an arm I can hold on to for moral support (I can walk in 4" heels just fine thank you). For me it's partly for the "sinsation" of doing it! I know I won't be 100% passable, but, and I know it's naughty, if I get some confused looks, I think it'll be fun! I've been out on the hotel lanai (balcony) before and I do get noticed, but it's dark and usually the men are a bit distant and drinking, still.....:cheeky:
Now, what to wear......

[Rene]

This is a great topic, with such a verity of responses. I love to lounge at home in total or partical fem mode. But after so many years of shame and guilt where I felt like I had a life sentence, being out in the real world is liberating. It is almost a healing experience. I think we get a little sense of who we are from how other perceive us. So to be out in the real world being veiw and accepted as a woman only reinforces how I feel inside. Having a man open a door for me or having a waitress say, 'How are you ladies' adds to my own self expression.

I have been to the movies, shopping, out to lunch and dinner, as Rene'. With each new experience the shame that I once felt gets pealed away. when I stay home now it is by choice, it is no longer the prison that it once was.

[Joy Carter]

Why don't we all go out in mass who would F--- with us / violent fems kinda thing just looking at lingeray and shoes. LOL

[Patty]

I went out dressed for the first time last Saturday. It was to a CD meeting in San Diego. I was very nervous. I have driven around before and got out to walk while no or few were around. What I have really enjoyed is to take my camera and tripod out at night near the beach and take pictures.

[donna h]

im new to the forum have been reading for a few months, just joined yesterday.My SO knows some and does not want me dressing at home so we agreed I could go to hotel a dress there. Last month was my first time out. I dressed totally and looked at the car 6 feet from the room door for a while. I said to myself this is it DO IT. I walked out for the first time WHAT A RUSH. The wind blowing my skirt around`(not up) was agreat feeling. All I did was a quick car ride but it was awesome. Sure I will do it again. T o answer why I guess some of us need that feeling and some do not. For me it was a dream come true.

[Amelie]

I go out because it would be tough to fit a DJ booth with DJ, the bartenders, the bouncers, the silly coat check guy, and 200 insane people dancing inside of my small apartment. If all these people could fit in my apartment, then I would never go out, so for now, I have to go to the disco where they are. Also, The Clash wouldn’t play a concert in my apartment either, I had to go to the club to see them. This is why I go out, otherwise I would just stay in bed and sleep.

Dressing as a girl wasn’t to big of a thrill. But dressing as a punk girl and hanging out in the street with other punks was kind of a thrill.. We used to piss people off with the way we were dressed, this was a thrill, seeing people get annoyed with us. We loved pissing people off. When we walked down the street together at night it would look like a funeral scene from a movie.

[Julie Avery]

The older I get, the more I like a gurl with an attitude

[Cherry Lynn]

Going out and interacting with others makes it feel more real than just sitting at home dressed. I have gone to a party dressed where there were about 15 couples and got lots of compliments from the GG's. My wife and I went to visit friends about 3 hours away once and she conceded (uneasily) to me dressing for the drive and it was such a thrill, especially when I walked into their house dressed and he saw me. He could not resist hugging me and giving me a kiss. Last time I was out a friend took me with him to get take-out food for us.

[Glenda]

There are a lot of reasons to go out dressed. Some of mine, in order, are:
1) A Prom Dress skate with a group of rollerbladers;
2) Halloween. My date was dressed as a male with a Ross Perot mask;
3) Same girlfrined scratched my face in a drunken rage. I took the week off from work, she left to visit a friend on the coast for a week and after 4 days of dealing with my anger and disbelief I was crawling up the walls. I decided if I could go out dressed on Halloween, surely I could visit one of the local gay bars dressed en femme. Full make-up (my first time applying it), the wig and dress I had borrowed from her for Halloween. Ended up staying out until closing time, playing pool, having almost every drink bought for me;
4) Sharing with her that I had gone out dressed and she attacked me again accusing me of being gay and doing it to hurt her because her first boyfriend had been gay;

I loved the way I looked and felt dresssed en femme and knew that a part of me I had never discovered was there on the surface when I dressed. I had always been a crossdresser but had never known until I actually did it. I moved out and bought my own wig, clothes, make-up and jewelry. She told every one I was a crossdresser. My friends, my family, my work...they thought I was doing it just to get rid of "Crazy Kathy" (their term, not mine).

That was 11 years ago. Other reasons to go out.....

5) Six girlfriends wanted to take me out dancing as Glenda for my birthday;
6) Friends at the bars I frequent all heard about it and wanted to see me;
7) Living alone again I had a lot of time to be dressed;
8) I couldn't hide every time someone wanted to come by my house with a pizza and beer;
9) I got tired of taking off my make-up every time I needed to take out the trash or go to the store for cigarettes, milk or bread;
10) My friends tell me I look good, come as you are, you're always welcome regardless of how you're dressed;
11) One of my sons moved back home with me for a year after he ran into financial trouble. I chose to continue dressing rather than hide that part of me from my family;
12) I've never had a bad experience while out dressed en femme.

So I didn't spend years hiding in the closet with my secret. The opportunity came, I accepted it and now spend about 50% of my time dressed en femme. I lead a normal life with lots of friends and support. I'm happy to be able to be myself.

[tori-e]

Why do you go out in public? What do you get from it?

About six months ago I'd never been out the door. Since then I've been out many times. The first few times to other CD's homes for dinners, then restaraunts, support groups, even out with my wife to a movie. The more I get out, the more I get this great sense of contentment with myself. I've never had this as a male. When out, I do my best to blend in. This means jeans and comfortable shoes. The makeup and the hair are the fun parts. But I try to play that down too. In public places, no body has ever stared, giggled and pointed. Waiters call me ma'am.

I go out because it makes me feel good about myself.

Tori