Simple words of Acceptance from Spouse

[Mercedes]

Since the summer I think I have had a permanent shift in my approach to my dressing. Prior to then I was very limited in my opportunities and wardrobe so was confined to mostly underdressing. In August, I had my first serious shopping trip for Mercedes in years and since then have been wearing my new clothes on a more regular basis. I was thinking I was just in the pink fog, but I think now, five months later, I have instead taken a step to allowing Mercedes more into my daily being.

Since the summer I have been wearing panties everyday. Thanks to the post about the number panties everyone owns, I had to up my game and since then have bought many more and most are comfortable for a full day, however I am sucker for thongs. And with this, my spouse has seen me in panties a lot more than she had previously. As well, I have been wearing bras, nightgowns and other fun things to bed nearly every night.

As I type this, I am currently wearing my black silk top, black mini-skirt and black opaque nylons. I also have some breast lifts in to fill out a small bustier, probably a 'b' cup. No make-up or wig. The family was all out for the day so I had an opportunity to be dressed for several hours. I knew my spouse would be on her way home and I decided to stay dressed. Over the last few months she has seen me dressed a couple of times so when she saw me today, there were no comments or looks. We talked about her day out like nothing was different. It was kind of nice. A few minutes later, I went to her and wanted to find out how she was feeling about my recent dressing.

I started by saying the obvious, that I was feeling like dressing more and I assume she had noticed. I also asked, more importantly, how she was feeling about it. Well, I was happy to hear that she was not bothered per se, more that her approach is still in the ignore, avoid, try not to think about it kind of attitude. However, she did say that she does not have a problem with me dressing in front of her. I also asked if she wanted me to provide a heads up prior to dressing when she might see me and she said she didn't need it. She did say that she would have more of an issue with make-up and wigs. I did say that I would like to be able to wear make-up more often, it just is not practical currently. So for this I will be sure to respect her boundaries. I thanked her for her understanding and she said, I did not need to thank her. That comment felt like recognition of that part of myself and Mercedes and in her own way there is acceptance. I then kissed her and thanked her again.

The conversation may have been a total of 3-4 minutes. That was all, and it made me feel so much relief that Mercedes could feel more at home in her own home.

As an aside, shortly after the talk, we had a normal conversation about the mail and the birds in the back yard. I was dressed, it was no big deal.

If you stayed to the end, thank you for reading,

Mercedes XOXOXO

[Aroara Xanthemae]

That is great of her to not make a deal out Of it I think your relationship is in a good place

[SophiaRose]

Wonderful to hear it's going well. It's interesting that so many SOs are OK with the dressing until it involves wigs and makeup. As CDs, many of us don't feel complete until those final touches round out our transformation. The impact it has on our state of mind must also similarly effect the women in our lives though with a very different response.

[alwayshave]

Mercedes, I'm glad your conversation went well.

[JesseVF]

That is a super conversation and sounds like a very acceptable situation - enjoy your freedom!

[docrobbysherry]

Great post for us closet dressers, Mercedes!:thumbsup:

If you're seen dressed without a wig and makeup? Maybe 9 out of 10 folks will recognize u.:sad:

But, with full make up and wig that number drops to maybe 1 in 10!:tongueout

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mercedes :hugs:, That sounds great,

Well the Ball is in her court now, Just be Careful and Don't Overwhelm her,

Good luck in your new found Acceptance, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[DianeT]

It's nice that your wife seems to be taking this well. My suggestion however would be to ask if something is ok before doing it, instead of forcing it and asking after the fact if it was.
For those wondering why makeup and wig makes a difference (note: and probably forms too) for wives, the answer seems obvious: until then, it's just clothes.

[Debbie Denier]

Be careful out there and take it slow. It was the wigs and bras that freaked my wife out and set me back. Good to hear things are positive with you and your wife.

[Raychel]

Every woman has their own level of acceptance.
Only thing I can add is keep up the communication and
if she has limits, respect them. Make sure she is comfortable
with the situation.

[chrissy111]

Nice to hear about your wifes acceptance.

[Stephanie47]

IMHO, I think the makeup and wig being unsettling is because that would make you lose too much of your physical identity. Without makeup and wig the visual is her guy is just wearing women's clothing.

[Suzie Petersen]

I agree with Stephanie that the makeup and hair, and possibly breastforms, is what makes it go from "just clothes" to something very different. Now you are emulating a woman, a very different person, and you are stepping over the gender line.
For many people that is a big deal even if a dress is not.

You talk about having worn women's clothing in her presence many times, so she is obviously more or less used to that by now, even in the bedroom, which for some wife's is a no-no. Your conversation with her confirms that all of this is not a big deal to her, which is good.
You should still be very sensitive to any negative signals she sends you, and be ready to change your behavior if it seems you are overdoing any of it by amount or by frequency.

Depending on how your relationship and communication works, it may be difficult for her to speak up if she is unhappy with something, so I would suggest that you agree on choosing a signal, like a simple word or something, she can say which simply means "Too much" or "Not today" or "Enough for tonight, please change back". Pick something fun or silly that can be said while keeping the mood light, and respect it with a smile and without hesitation when/if she uses it.

You are not saying in this post if she has ever seen you with makeup and hair, it sounds like perhaps she has not, but it is clear that she has an issue or at least a concern there. Be VERY careful not to push her with that and I agree with Diane that just doing it and ask her about it afterwards, is a bad approach.

If makeup and hair is something you can do without, I would just enjoy the rest of the dressing and not do that, but as Sofie says, for many of us, makeup and hair is an important part of this. If you feel you must get to that point, you should talk to her and see if there is a compromise she could become OK with, or maybe a slow path for her to get used to it over time. Maybe it is very light makeup, maybe it is one but not the other, maybe it is very short hair. Who knows, but talk about it and don't just surprise her one day.

All in all it sounds like you are in a good situation and a good relationship. Don't mess it up by overstepping the boundaries, including the ones you do not know about. Go slow, don't go overboard, be sensitive to what she tells you and to the non-verbal signals she sends, and try to find some balance between your two sides.
Marriage is about both of you, about compromise, and about love and respect for each other.

[Fiona_44]

Mercedes,

Go buy your wife a dozen roses to thank her for her level of acceptance. Just take things slow, don't push it and most importantly keep the lines of communication open and you should be fine.

[JenniferR771]

Fiona is right. You owe your wife a big hug and some special considerations.
Maybe she needs new shoes--or a new car.

[Mercedes]

Thank you ladies for your kind words and support and Happy Holidays.

Prior to recently, my spouse had only seen me dressed very occasionally in the past 30+ years. FYI, she knew I am a crossdresser before we were married. I do plan on taking it slowly and the wigs and makeup will be private. I do wear bras that give me a noticeable shape, but I am quite happy keeping the girls in a reasonable B or C cup. I think anything larger would give her cause to rethink her current level of acceptance.

Wishing that you all get to live your best lives in 2025!

Mercedes XOXOXO