Gender dysphoria or just crossdressing

[LianaT]

Did many of you feel gender dysphoria played a part in your lives or did you always know its just the clothes?

[Amy Randal]

For me it’s just the clothes. That being said I feel very female when dressed.

[JesseVF]

Definitely part of me wants to and feels natural switching gender. For most of my life I was really only concerned with body shape, not clothes. Only expanded to other areas like clothes, makeup, wigs in the last couple years.

[alwayshave]

While I know that I will never change my body, if there were no consequences, perhaps I would.

[TheHiddenMe]

A boy who likes to wear girls clothes and present female from time to time.

[chrissy111]

There were times I wished I'd changed, but to me I've been pretty happy the way I lived my life.

[LianaT]

Thanks for sharing everyone

[GretchenM]

Early on it was mostly just the clothes, but I now recognize there was a good deal of dysphoria involved even though at the time I certainly did not think of it that way - in fact, I don't think the term or concept of "gender dysphoria" even existing in 1952. But as I got older, dysphoria mixed into it more strongly. In part that is simply a matter of being old enough to actually identify those feelings in a more mature way. Young boys and girls switch roles all the time in play - they are not old enough to sense anything uncomfortable about who they are. But around 4 or 5 that begins to change.

There are some who believe some kind of dysphoria is always involved in crossdressing after about 4 or 5 years old because they are old enough to fully understanding the customs of male and female dressing. It is not a natural thing- it is learned. Because in some cultures different clothes are not adopted until much later in puberty. Don't forget we need to look at other cultures to fully understand the nature of gender - and not just our own.

[GracieRose]

Definitely dysphoria, not just the clothes.
From a young age I could tell that I belonged with the girls, but was always steered away. Sometimes more forcibly than others. As a youngster, I didn't understand what was going on, so I did my best to pretend to be a boy, rather than behave in ways that came naturally to me. As I became older, and more transgender information became available to me, it was clear, to me, what the "problem" had always been. the clothes, makeup and wig are just my way to let the world see me as I am, and how I see and feel myself. When I am called "ma'am" or equivalent, I am so happy to recognized as part of the "female tribe".

[ellbee]

Gender dysphoria or just crossdressing


Yes.

(It's both! :heehee: )



I always kinda knew, even from a young age, that I was a bit different than most. Like, not *totally* different, as perhaps as much as someone who eventually goes on to transition.

Some of that, anyway... Enough to be like, Whoa, wait a sec! :eek:

Just a "milder case" of GD? :strugglin



At the same time? I also consider myself to be somewhat of a fashionista. :)

I love clothing geared towards GG's. Always have, always will.

And just when I think I've learned enough about it? I find myself one day falling further down that rabbit hole!

The colors, the styles, the fabrics, the fits, the patterns, whatever. It's just totally awesome! :worship: :dom:

While I love it on a GG, absolutely... I also want to join in on all the fun! :thumbsup: The aesthetics, the sensation, the psychological & emotional component to it, etc.


But in my case, anyway? That almost sorta keeps me in that feedback loop. Neither necessarily a good nor a bad thing... Just the way I was built / operate.

I'm just someone who's basically socially-transitioned these days (outside of work & rare family events) -- who *also* happens to love fashion!

Not much different than some of the GG's who are basically the same way. Honestly, had I been born a GG, I'd be right alongside 'em!

:battingeyelashes: :battingeyelashes: :battingeyelashes:

[Georgina]

Just the clothes I never wanted to change my gender.

[docrobbysherry]

I guess I do everything the hard way or backwards? When I suddenly began dressing out of the blue in my 50's I thot I wanted to become a woman!:battingeyelashes:

Then, 12 years later I discovered I really only want to look like one! So, as ui can see from my avatar that I'm now a happy CD!:daydreaming:

[kimdl93]

It?s very hard to say with any certainty.

[BrendaPDX]

I have always been pretty happy with my body, but after the first time I crossdressed I knew there was a bigger world out there. To answer your question yes a little but never anything big enough that I wanted to alter my physical body.

[Taylor Dame]

I am a man who loves to fully dress in women's clothes. I do not feel I am the wrong gender, or wish to change.

[Kelli_cd]

It started with panties, then bras, then camisoles, then the clothes. I love feeling pretty. I won't ever get that feeling in my man clothes.

[LianaT]

Thank you for all of your replies

[Sabine7]

Gender dysphoria or being a female euphoria?
I think in my case crossdressing is just a top of an iceberg. After decades of practicing it, it is quite apparent to me that I desire having a female body.
To be honest if being offered to switch to a curvy female body somehow magically and to live a woman's life I could hardly resist.
However, I am not going to change anything with my physical gender because of an external world and my current lovely family life which is very precious to me and I don't want to destroy it or hurt anybody.

[prene]

Gender dysphoria or just crossdressing ?

I love dressing and being fem.
This is the question myself and my therapist have been talking about for a while.

I do love the feeling and feel very female when dressed. Wish I had the physical body

[Claire M]

While I would like to say "it's just the clothes", mine is also dysphoria. I frequently find myself picturing or pondering what it would be like doing whatever I'm doing as Claire. If we go to a theater or nice restaurant, or even mundane things like grocery shopping, I'll catch myself wondering how I would fit into this scene as Claire. What outfit would I wear? How would I do my hair? How would I be treated if I were presenting as Claire. Sometimes a woman's outfit will trigger these thoughts. Sometimes it's just being there. When I was seeing a therapist, she told me that was definitely dysphoric. However, I like my male life as well and would never trade away the life i have with my loving family.

[Kris Burton]

I am quite fortunate as I feel no dysphoria whatsoever. I accept that I am a guy who enjoys taking on a female persona when the mood and opportunity arise. It's more than just the clothes as for me the duality is exactly the point. It would be nice to be able to snap my fingers and take on a full female body at will and then switch back again, but since that is not possible crossdressing hits the emotional and psychological spot quite well for me.

[SaraLin]

It's always been dysphoria for me.
As far back as I can remember, I knew that I was supposed to have been born a girl but that something went wrong.

While I love the colors, the feel, the choices, etc. that feminine clothing has, dressing has <for me!> always been more of an attempt to connect with my inner girl. I want to at least look and feel like who I was supposed to be. Hiding my male-ness is more important than the length of my skirt or lace on my undies.

If I could blend into the female population without a ripple, I'd do it. My life, my wife, my body, and so much else, ensures that it isn't going to happen. Hence the dysphoria.

[Keremy]

Fully male who loves to wear womens clothing. Never have I thought or will think about changing gender. Hope there is a time in the near future when it is not considered taboo for men to openly go through life wearing womens clothing. Have some nice clothes I would love to wear to the office.

[Jasmine23]

Both, but I do really love the clothes. I have considered transitioning, and if there were no negative consequences or in an ideal world I might have, as I feel my personality is probably better suited to being female, however, we live in the real world and for me transitioning would have very negative consequences, on balance I feel that I would lose so much more than I'd gain. I'm with peace with the fact I won't be transitioning and I think it's the right decision for me on balance.

[Cheryl T]

It's never just been about the clothes for me. I love the clothes, always have, always will, but there's this internal thing that only feels right when my outer matches my inner.

[Phoebe Reece]

I've never had gender dysphoria. I've never thought of myself as anything but male. However, I do have gender envy. I want to be able to adopt the appearance that women have from time to time. I love to dress fully as a woman and go out in the world and interact with people experiencing life in that manner. But I do not want to do that full-time. I just want to experience the best parts of both worlds when I feel like it. For the last 20 years I have been lucky enough to do that.

[Elizabeth G]

For the longest time I thought I was "just a crossdresser" but some time ago when I dug deeper into why I dressed I realized that it was to present as and be perceived as a woman to the best of my ability. I have, over time, come to recognize myself as trans. I don't know if I will ever be able to transition but I would dearly love to.

So for me, yes, definitely dysphoria.

[JocelynJames]

When I know , I?ll let you all know 🤔

[Stephanie47]

A PTSD counselor I saw for over ten years was of the opinion each man or woman has some degree of dna of the opposite sex within their genetic makeup: In some it is more than others. Perhaps, that would be explained by a sliding scale of sexuality. There is absolutely no reason why as a young boy, who had no need for girls and played sports and participated in all male activities, that I would ever want to emulate a woman. "It does not compute." Yet, when puberty set in I was drawn to wearing women's clothing, i.e., my mother's clothing. Fast forward ten years and I am drawn into the ultimate male activity of slogging through the muck of Vietnam as an infantryman. Yes, issues arose at a later date. Why did I seek refuge in emulating a woman or was it in my dna chain that this was an avenue of escape. All my buddies in counseling ended up self medicating with drugs and alcohol. Frankly, that seems to be the acceptable manner to deal with combat related issues; not becoming a cross dresser. There are other physical and psychological markers that seem to solidify my counselor's position. I suspect, when needed, that slider just slid across the spectrum and drew upon other traits that are usually associated with females of the species.

[Meg]

I can honestly say that I have thought about transitioning. But i have always known it was not right for me. Fantasy is better than reality. I have always loved the clothes. As was said earlier, the colors, materials, fit, fashion, etc. As a very young boy I would tuck everything under and stand in front of the mirror to see myself as a girl. But I did not need that to complete myself. I do need to dress to complete myself. I find it so sensual and relaxing. Stephanie, I am so glad that you can find some relief in dressing. So many of our service members are unable to find any peace. I am glad that you have all of your sisters here to communicate with and share a common bond. Love to all, Meg

[Aroara Xanthemae]

I have been simply a crossdress and as the dresses and makeup go on time after time I feel more and more feminine and love the look more and more and now looking back maybe I was a little different and I could not get girlfriends to have sex with me so maybe I was just another friend to them.
I would never cut off my male parts to get female parts and I really love the dresses and sexy N?glig?e or lingerie and nylons I cannot wait till after work so I can feel normal in feminine cloth so?..
What does that make me I have no idea just beautiful

[Lacey New]

I have always been just a boy who gets a thrill out of wearing womens clothes from time to time. It has always had a sexual component to it even way after my teenage years

[CynthiaD]

I’m a woman all the time. I wear female clothing because that’s what women do.

[SophiaRose]

I've been wrestling with this question for decades and still don't have a good answer. Most of the time I'm ambivalent about my male gender, neither taking much pride or joy in it. At times I feel almost claustrophobic in my own skin and loath my current identity. Dressed however, I find a great deal of happiness and comfort. It's not just the clothes that elicit this feeling necessarily because when I get the makeup and hair just right I see a different person and feel excited and at home. If I still look like a guy in the mirror it's disappointing, if not slightly depressing. I doubt this would qualify as dysphoria because, while I've always been preoccupied with the idea of transitioning, I can still function without depression or negative ideation. Can there be different levels, or manifestations, of dysphoria that I'm denying? I'm not convinced I was born into the wrong body, I think I'd just be much happier as a woman- or at least what my perception of a woman is.
Taken together, these haven't been good enough reasons to declare dysphoria, come out as trans, and blow up my marriage, career, and relationships to satisfy my own selfish needs. I already feel guilty enough being a closeted crossdresser. Screwing up my family, and hurting my wife is my biggest fear. Having "the talk" about crossdressing will hurt our marriage and her trust in me enough. Ultimately, not having a reasonable answer to this question, dysphoria vs CD, is the main reason I'm seeing a therapist and am currently avoiding coming out to my family. Until I get better clarity on who I really am, I guess I'll just have to be OK with being frustrated and confused.

Did anyone else find this question especially triggering? It was hard to simplify my thoughts and contribute to this one. Deep stuff.

[CarlaWestin]

The clothes, the accoutrements, the stepping into that other life or maybe comfort zone. Totally male+ and never female. Just fem when I want to be and as much as I want to be.

[Geena75]

For me it's the clothes -- plus. I am content with my birth gender which is how I present 99% of the time. But those rare times I clean off my face and fully present as Geena, I can't help but feel feminine and love going out (I don't think I 'pass' but I'm a long way from MIAD). I find it a very enjoyable feeling that way, but it goes away when I take off the wig.

[Jade P]

I feel gender fluid so it is more than just clothes. I dont want to transition because I dont feel exclusively female, I also like being somewhat male.

[Raychel]

It is just crossdressing for me.
I am still a guy, just so happens I feel more comfortable in womens clothes.

[NatalieR]

More than clothes for me. I don't think of it as dysphoria. I am a very happy person and living life mostly in Boy Mode doesn't cause me distress, but I would have preferred to have been born a girl and feel like I missed out on that life.

[JustineFallow]

Just the clothes, ma'am. Although it would be fascinating to be in a female body--oh, the fun I would have!

[tiffyjo]

It's been the clothes for me since I tried them on almost 50 years ago. The last couple of years has had me wondering about how great it may be to present as a female all the time. I often think about how I would look of my breasts were bigger and my butt filled out my jeans so men would always be checking me out, even if I would be a larger woman, as I am a larger man. The ability to wear makeup and have a head full of hair and not bald on top. The last year I have had some thoughts about being the female in a relationship. I'm 100% sure I would never make the leap to gender reaffirming surgery, but the thought of being with a man does excite me some.

[DianeT]

Even if it has considerably faded, there always has been an element of gender dysphoria in my dressing. I obsessed over the female body as something that looked like perfection to me, and there have been many times where I wished I could reach that perfection. But dysphoria is probably an inaccurate term, since I didn't hate my male body and didn't really suffer being a boy. No, more a fantasy, a day dreaming. I just figured I would look and feel better as a girl, and wondered what it would have been to be born as one. The fact that I had a very nasty example of toxic masculinity at home may have been a trigger, but if it was, it wasn't the only one. Anyway, sometimes I was happy being a boy, and sometimes longing to be a girl. Over the years, this craving faded, and today, the dressing allows me to get a glimpse of what I may have looked like, but I don't get this hint of dysphoria I used to have, it is more an introspective search that is joyous and fun, and fills me with positive vibes. So, it's more for the clothes now than before. But it's never just the clothes. Dressing and seeing myself transformed is still an amazing sensation, and crossing the gender boundaries an extraordinary experience. No amount of fabric can explain that magic alone.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I like Phoebe's "gender envy", yeah I can relate to that! If only I could be that beautiful from time to time, if only society would be ok with me wearing whatever I want in public.... but that's another thread.

I'm a crossdresser, ie. I'm a man who likes to wear women's clothes. I've never been confused about that.

That being said, if there was some magical way to temporarily become a real woman or to trade bodies with a woman for a weekend, sign me up, I'd do it in a heartbeat just for the experience! Same if there was a pill that would give me D cups for a day or two, hell yeah I'd get me a bottle of those!

But if there was a way to permanently turn into a woman (modern science isn't there yet, it can just approximate the look) then I don't know that I'd want to, since it's still impossible I honestly haven't given it much thought.

[Adelaide]

It was never the clothes to me.
I always wanted to have very long hair like most girls. I felt it was so feminine....so me. Then growing up in my very early teens, I wanted to grow/have breasts.
There was no internet in those days to learn more about how I was feeling. I could not speak to anybody about (there were no such therapists in those days), fearing being treated with meds in a psychiatric hospital.
Only later in life was I told by therapists that I was a woman inside out. The wife never agreed with it.

[NatalieMN]

I don't think dysphoria is the right word for me. I don't feel wrong as a male but I enjoy being female. Younger me was definitely more about the clothes (and more on the fetish side of things) but as I get older I find I enjoy experiencing life as a woman. Not to the point where I would ever transition (I enjoy life as a man too). I just enjoy being both.

[sometimes_miss]

It sort of started as gender identity dysphoria after being told that I was actually supposed to be a girl. After that, I kept observing girls, to see how I might be like them, and then, thinking about my early life to see if there was any indication that I was likely to have been a girl, and just wound up a boy by mistake. Just like Joe McCarthy's 'looking for communists' and of course finding them everywhere, I was looking for the 'girl' in me, and finding her. So for many years, the thoughts of becoming a girl eventually pushed the dysphoria along, which pushed the crossdressing, just so I could feel normal to myself. Which of course was backwards, because I would later learn that I wasn't actually transgendered as the psych community found more differences between how men and women think and behave. So now I'm stuck with never feeling quite what I am. Oh well. At least the confusion is gone, and I know why I feel so mixed up. As they say, modern medicine can't always cure you, all they can do is help you to deal with it a little better.

[Stacy Darling]

I'd go with Gender before clothing, and that's something for me to say, cos you can't get me out of a skirt and (the rest)
Born Gender Girly!

[BLUE ORCHID]

For me it was just the feel of the soft Pretty Clothes,

[LIKETODRESS2]

Its gender 100 percent. I like the cloths but i am defently female

[Michelle1955]

Starts like 65 years ago, at age 5 thoughtfully sooner.
Around age 5 my friend and I switch underwear and panties while playing at her house.
Puberty was very hard.

[Sallee]

I think cross dressing is gender dysphoria. I feel it, GD, comes in different levels, stage 1 thru stage .... stage 1 maybe panties and masterbation the end stage being lets get surgery, Can't stand to go out looking like a man not happy being male not matter the situation, with several stages in between. This is a uneducated theory just my own uneducated theory and experience being just a CD who enjoys dressing and getting out. I guess you could call it a fetish, again uneducated WAG. I like to dress and go out But just dressing and photos is a kick to. Just fun. I tend to go out every time I dress which is not often enough, but I do go out Malls, bars and tourist spots. To me its fun and to see how well I pass. For the record I think fairly well but there have been those calls of "thats a man" and for the life of me I don't know what I did different. Butit is still FUN.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Some of it is and some of it is NOT. Depends on the person and the reason. The fact that MANY people put crossdressing, Homosexuality and Transsexualism in the same "basket", so to speak, just adds to the confusion for observer and CDer alike. All 3 types Cross-Dress (verb) but the reasons are different. It is obvious why a M to F TS would do it, as they identify with women. It is, as many say "being their true self". Homosexuals who are not Trans might have more complex reasons. A true "Transvestite", nowadays simply termed "Crossdresser" (Noun), is most complex and varied of all. One most common reason is for "Relaxation" or "stress relief". In effect becoming "another person" and taking a vicarious "vacation away from ones self". They get away from all their personal stresses and worries. The becoming female part, also relieves the stresses and responsibilities of manhood, and enhances the "separation from self" even more. Such people are "escapists". Instead of becoming "Me" they become "NOT ME". Another Version of actual CD is "Humiliation" S/M where becoming a woman is embarrassing and gives them a HIGH. Related is "Taboo tripping" where one gets and enjoys a HIGH from deviating from a social norm. Then there is an EROTIC reason, a form of Auto Gynephilia, being turned on by a female version of one's self. Next comes simply a FETISH for woman's clothing, and as a final example, a simple arousal for the FEEL of certain fabrics often associated with woman's clothing. These or a combination of these and other factors is which drive STRAIGHT crossdressers (Straight is part of the CD definition, not being Homo or Transsexual) I suppose the BIGGEST TV/CD indicator is specifically NOT identifying as a WOMAN. Those who DO likely ARE TS to a degree.

[Andrea Renea]

What Phoebe says in post #26

Ditto

That's me also

[Karren H]

I do not think its just crossdressing. Maybe it should read, Crossdressing or just Gender dysphoria? Or Just crossdressing or just gender dysphoria? IDK. Anyway, beats me. Think I love wearing the clothes but have evolved into wanting my body to fit the clothes. Some days I do not care about the clothes, have not worn any for a few weeks but yet I am still working on changing my body almost every day?

[BaliGirl]

No dysphoria in me.

But if there was some magic or pill for me to try out being a woman, I would totally do it. Maybe two or three days just to see what it is like. It would be great to just put on some underwear, put a dress on over that, and just go out and not get noticed. If it worked out, maybe 1 week a month?

I do enjoy reading fictional stories where the main character is man who is transformed into a woman accidentally. It is an interesting thing to think about - how I would deal with that.

[_jenni_]

Personally, always (as far back as I can recall) wanted the body parts the clothes acted as a means to visually make it happen.