Bridging Two Worlds

[Heisthebride]

I live something of a double life. I have a friend group that I have known since high school who don?t know that I am a crossdressers. Actually, its possible they might suspect it, I have gone to a few Halloween parties as a female, but it?s not a well known fact.

I have cultivated another group of friends who are fully aware. About 14 years ago my wife bought me burlesque dance lessons and they were super fun. I continued to take classes, perform and formed a small troupe with my classmates. Within this world I commonly dressed up and the knowledge extended out to my neighbors as I would occasionally leave the condo while dressed to meet my burlesque friends. I was bound to run into some of them in the halls so I just came out to them.

As I get older I have moved past the going to weddings of my friends every year and on to the going to funerals every year stage as my friends parents are of that age. At these funerals there are always picture boards to share the life and times of the deceased with memories of their life. I myself am of an age where I am starting to think about these things and I would love to have a picture board of my ?girl? life when the time comes. The problem is half of the people would gather around and look at the pics remembering the good times and half would be ?what the heck is this??

I had considered making a videotape to be played at the funeral, sort of a self eulogy, explaining my crossdressing and burlesque experiences for the people out of the loop. As I thought about it, I asked myself why do I have to die before I explain this to my friends?

I feel like it?s time I just let everyone know. Of course people will react differently, but I don?t think I?m going to lose any close friends over it. It?s not as though I?m suddenly going to show up everywhere I go en femme, but I also don?t want to have to keep my friend groups separate either.

My goal this summer is to come out to a select group of my friends who don?t know. Start to bridge the gap.

[bridget thronton]

Best wishes for good results as you come out to others

[Fiona_44]

Good luck. I have come out to all my friends and acquaintances and the reactions have been fine.

[Kris Burton]

A bold and courageous move Rebecca - best wishes to you! I would say if you tell one, tell all at about the same time - let everyone know directly from you.

[Mercedes]

I am sure the burlesque troupe will have no issue with knowing you some times present in male mode. Heehee.

You know your friends best and I hope they are as accepting of the femme part of your life as any other part. It is what makes you who you truly are. Best of luck Rebecca!

[kimdl93]

It seems like you have given this reasonable consideration. I think its better to be true to yourself and others.

[alwayshave]

Rebecca, I hope your reveal goes well.

[chrissy111]

Hope all goes well.

[Natalie5004]

You will be amazed at how many people will not really care how you dress or present. They will just love you anyway.

[Cassiek]

Im right there with you Rebecca. I need to stop being so darn scared. Live is too short!

[docrobbysherry]

The biggest difference between CD's and trans. CD's wonder who to tell and who not!:straightface:

[JulieC]

Rebecca, I get the conundrum and I agree with you to an extant :)

It's weird; I make friends easy, but I live in a community that tends to be transient across all age ranges. I could count on four hands the number of friends I have made over the last few decades in this town who have ended up leaving. Friend after friend after friend after friend has left. So, in town I have almost no friends right now. Many of the friends who have left have moved to distant places. I keep tabs on them online, but in person is rare. There's really no one to come out to in that group, and I don't know how many of them would show up for a remembrance service if I had one (I don't want a funeral, and don't want a traditional burial). My time to leave this town is coming too. So, I don't see any benefit/need to revealing Julie to anyone other than the two people in my life who know.

But, in your case Rebecca; it's probably a stress to have to try to keep these two friend groups separate. You might lose some of the friends you inform. Sounds like you're not short of friends anyway if that happens!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Ho Rebecca :hugs:, So How do you want to be Dressed when you are Laidout ???

>>>>>>>>>>Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Philipa Jane]

Hello Rebecca .
The first thing to consider is am I prepared to lose friends?
Only if the answer to this is yes the go ahead and out yourself.
It would be na?ve to think everyone will be ok with this news.
People may surprise you with their response.

[Heisthebride]

Ho Rebecca :hugs:, So How do you want to be Dressed when you are Laidout ???

>>>>>>>>>>Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

I have always planned on cremation, I personally don?t understand the need for an open casket funeral but I don?t begrudge anyone who does. I think the picture board is enough.

- - - Updated - - -


Hello Rebecca .
The first thing to consider is am I prepared to lose friends?
Only if the answer to this is yes the go ahead and out yourself.
It would be na?ve to think everyone will be ok with this news.
People may surprise you with their response.

I understand your concerns, having known my old friend group for 40+ years I have an understanding how most are likely to react. We have political differences and some are more religious than others but all are socially liberal. One couple in the group has a transmasculine son and this has been discussed within the group and everyone is accepting of their choice.

If someone in the group was a smoker, would I stop being friends with them, what kind of friend would that make me. Probably not a friend they need.

It’s not like I will crossdress 24x7 once I come out and force it upon them. It’s likely they may never see me dressed unless they specifically ask to join me at an event where I intend to crossdress. I’m not overly concerned about losing any friends over this.