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Maria 60
01-06-2025, 07:59 PM
I'm just writing this so everyone can see the challenges of living in an Italian household. My wife's brother was in the area and dropped by. His wife like most Italians love gossip and dirty laundry and usally my wife doesn't care for it, but yesterday it hit close to home. Try to follow along, she was telling us that her daughter went to a club and seen so and so's girlfriend at the club dancing with a girl. When her daughter approached her to say Hi it wasn't a girl she was with, it was so and so's son wearing women's clothing dressed as a women. Her daughter was a little confused but so and so's girlfriend explained it in a very normal fashion that this is something they do almost every weekend and they are living together and he dresses at home at times to. She turned to me and asked me if that was the most disgusting thing I've ever heard and something must totally be wrong with that girl, not to mention there getting married this July. I answered maybe they love each other and he treats her good, after all isn't that what everyone really wants. She snapped at me "F&$K THAT, a women wants a man, a protector next to her not a sissy". I then got up and stepped away and went downstairs to get a bottle of home made wine. When I came up she asked my wife if I would have told her I liked to dress as a women would she have still married me? My wife put her finger to her mouth and said "let me think".
"We love each other to death and I couldn't imagine living one day without him, he loves his children to death and would do anything for them and double that for his grandchildren and when I got into the car accident without asking he stepped up and has been treating me like a princess". "Yes I would have married him in a heartbeat, one hundred percent".
My sister in law had a disgusting look on her face and then my wife asked her if she would answer a question. She said to them that I helped with there renovation, that I did the demolition and the hardwood floors and ceramic tiles and who knows what else she doesn't know of. When there nephew was drowning in drugs I was the only one to talk to him and take him to rehab twice a week on my own time. I'm going to write exactly what my wife told them. "After everything my husband has done for you and our family, if he stands up right now and drops his pants and he is wearing pink panties and pantyhose what would you think of him and me?
OMG! I took a big gulp of wine, because I had a feeling my wife was going to make me pull my pants down to make her point because I was wearing that. My sister in law didn't say a word but my brother in law told me if I pulled my pants down it wouldn't matter what I was wearing under because he knows who I am and he respects me.
He asked if we could please drop the conversation and I agreed and went downstairs again to cut some home made salami and aged cheese and opened another bottle of wine.
We ate lunch together but it was very cold between the women, they were barely talking to each other.
When they left I told my wife for a second I really thought she was going to make pull down my pants, she said if her sister in law would have said one more word she was going to make me do it. I think that was our first laugh of the afternoon just thinking of what that would have looked like.
It was very discouraging and sad to hear her sister inlaw talking the way she did, she's young but I feel growing up in an environment that one has to be a curtain way to make sure that other people view them a curtain way for the price of there own children's happiness.
My wife made her point, if I did drop my pants everything I did for them would have been wiped out and I would have been seen as a weird freak. Thought I would share my Sunday afternoon with you after coming off a Friday shopping with my wife high ruined.

OrdinaryAverageGuy
01-06-2025, 08:13 PM
Sounds to me like you're just a great guy who likes to wear cute things. I think you and your wife handled that beautifully. I gotta ask, would you have dropped your pants?

Sandi Beech
01-06-2025, 08:19 PM
Yea that kind of conversion is something I avoid with family because it can deteriorate quickly. Some people like to vilify others even when they really know nothing about them.

Sandi

Maria 60
01-06-2025, 08:36 PM
OrdinaryAverageGuy when my wife wants to make a point she is very stubborn and I believe if I did it probably would have been something she would have regretted. That would have spread to the family faster then any high speed internet.
I just have to laugh of her even thinking of that. There was a lot more to this but I decided to write the more interesting parts.

Glenda58
01-06-2025, 09:20 PM
When I came out to my wife's family that I was trans my sister-in-law husband is Italian and refuses to see me. That's been 6 months ago. I do miss it but time will tell if I get back in there with them.

kimdl93
01-06-2025, 10:25 PM
Your Friday was not ruined by that Sunday encounter with a bigoted SIL, at least not unless you let your SILs attitude control your mood or worse yet, let your SILs disapproval cause you to retreat into the closet. Live your life and let her stew in her own miserable juices.

Crissy 107
01-06-2025, 10:25 PM
Maria, A close call for sure but both you and your wife handled it quite well. It will be interesting to see how her SIL is the next time you see her.

_jenni_
01-06-2025, 11:01 PM
Sounds like your wife understood the assignment 👏👏👏

JulieC
01-06-2025, 11:02 PM
The high ruined? I don't think so. The high just got taken to an even higher level. YOUR WIFE IS AMAZING! Fantastic! It won't cause any change in that woman, but it most emphatically let her know there's no room for her petty hatred in her house. BRAVO!!!!!

And yes, such hatred is taught, and usually at home. It's very sad.

TheHiddenMe
01-07-2025, 12:43 AM
"We love each other to death and I couldn't imagine living one day without him, he loves his children to death and would do anything for them and double that for his grandchildren and when I got into the car accident without asking he stepped up and has been treating me like a princess". "Yes I would have married him in a heartbeat, one hundred percent".

This is all you need to remember from the conversation.

Period.

bridget thronton
01-07-2025, 01:40 AM
Your wife is great

DianeT
01-07-2025, 07:17 AM
I would like to sympathize but in the end of the day you are confronted to other peoples prejudices and with your constant generalizations about Italians and Europeans you are not really different from these persons, only the targets are.

Philipa Jane
01-07-2025, 07:26 AM
I just loved the way that your wife stood up for you without actually making you drop your trousers.
It must have been a good feeling to know she has your back.

alwayshave
01-07-2025, 07:44 AM
Maria, That is quite a story. I'm glad that you have such a fierce advocate in your wife.

Jackiemtv
01-07-2025, 09:19 AM
Hats off to your wife. I think she handled it perfectly. You are very lucky to have her.

chrissy111
01-07-2025, 09:28 AM
Your wife Loves you and clothes are just clothes. She loves you for the person you are.

Aka_Donna
01-07-2025, 10:01 AM
Like most Italians I know, your wife is good with words. All I can think of that she could add is question if SIL is really Italian or not.

QUESTIONS
What did Caesar and men of his era wear daily? What did Italian men wear in the renaissance era?

HISTORY
Caesar: either tunic [a bit longer than tunic women today wear] or formal dress [leather tunic down to hips and leather belt mini skirt with 2 inch wide tassels]
Renaissance Italian men: puff sleeve short tunics with puff arms and leggings, or tights.

QUESTION FOR SIL
So if Italian men wore leggings, short tunics and mini skirts for hundreds of years, then how can a real Italian criticize a man wearing today's equivalent of those clothes?

I have a mental image of 2 women from My Cousin Vinny having fun arguing with all the snide terms and emotions, etc. It's part of culture, so don't take it too serious. Enjoy your wife and rest of your family.

Jillcder
01-07-2025, 10:20 AM
Great story and outcome the only thing better would have been if your wife did have you stand and drop your pants showing the sister in law that us crossdressers are really good people. Love hearing about your dressing experiences.

Brynna M
01-08-2025, 12:09 AM
Sounds like your brother in law at least has the right intentions. A point blank reminder of some of the bad things in this world is always a downer especially when it hits close to home in your own home. I hope you feel better.

SophiaRose
01-08-2025, 06:04 AM
Interesting that we often assume women will be naturally more accepting. Not so much in this case. So easy to stereotype.

Stephanie47
01-10-2025, 10:07 AM
"If I did drop my pants everything I did for them would have been wiped out and I would have been seen as a weird freak" resonates with me. I have encountered such bigotry. When it does arise I do challenge the person. I do not let it slide. Sometimes, it seems society thinks it is more acceptable that a man is an alcoholic or drug abuser that being a cross dresser. How often would one hear the phrase, "She still married to a cross dresser, what's wrong with her?"

abby054
01-11-2025, 08:40 PM
Your wife is amazing. The best part is I would marry him in a heartbeat. One hundred percent.

I can only imagine the look on your face and the feeling in your gut when she proposed you dropping your pants to show off pink panties and hose when you were actually wearing them. Wow. You must have ice water in your veins and the worlds best poker face.

Carmen
01-13-2025, 05:16 PM
Maria that's a great story.
My wife 'sort of' outed me to her sister, since then she has randomly frisked me looking for a bra 'neath my shirts.

Carmen

Heather76
01-13-2025, 09:50 PM
That is a great story that shows several things. First, the learned hatred many people have. Second, and more importantly, the unconditional love we can have for one another. Your wife surely demonstrates that. You are lucky to have her.

Liz Jones
01-16-2025, 03:26 PM
Slightly off course perhaps but can i point out that,
1) men wore stockings & a form of suspender belt long before females ( around 15/16 cent i think )
2 )high heels -- these were invented by the Persian army to stop horseback archers from loosing there footing in the stirrups. When a delegation from Persia attended a meeting in Paris the courtiers liked the heeled shoes.......... Look at paintings of royalty around the 16th century.
3 ) skirts, a large portion of the world both past & present wear skirts of one sort or another.
So --- perhaps its you who should disapprove. :-)

snoostrawberry
01-16-2025, 04:37 PM
I would've been absolutely horrified. Your wife really handled that well, but I would be put off by the inlaws and that would be hard to overcome. Inlaws are sometimes not the easiest people to have relationship with.

Claire M
01-19-2025, 12:15 AM
Maria, your wife is amazing and you both handled it so beautifully. I've been in a few conversations around crossdressing although none quite so confrontational. Afterwards I second guess myself that maybe I should have been more supportive of crossdressers and trans people, even at the expense of outing myself. But then you realize that doing so will not change their opinions and probably only deepen the disgust and hatred people like your wife's SIL harbor.

sometimes_miss
01-20-2025, 05:50 PM
Interesting that we often assume women will be naturally more accepting.
I think that's more because they behave sort of entitled to borrow our clothes whenever they want, or, just buy anything from the men's department as sort of a fashion purchase. Where as, if WE do something like that, it's seen by them as crossing the line of what's acceptable and what's not. My wife routinely wore what were originally men's style shoes, like penny loafers and boat shoes, sneakers, and work boots when it snowed; jeans, T shirts, jackets, and more, but wasn't cool at all at my desire to wear fancy girl clothes, ever.
Also, women tend to be more accepting of gay men. So we erroneously think that means they see femininity in men as okay. But it's really a NIMBY situation.