Did you tell your Mother?

[Stefanie Taylor]

When I was younger and my mum was still around I was petrified about telling her about my crossdressing urges.

Having said that, I was rubbish at hiding stuff like worn tights, so she probably had an idea!

The older I get, the more I regret confiding in her about my needs and desires.

Anyone else feel the same? Or maybe did tell and had good/bad fallout.

(Still deciding on my fem name)

[kimdl93]

Felt very much the same, of course, about hiding stuff. I know she found them, but she was too calm and reticent to bring it up. She was probably relieved and satisfied that I grew up, got married, had kids and a job.

[Joanie CD]

I never told my mother (or, to this day, anyone in my family), but I think she would have been OK with it. Not sure about my father. We had a close relationship, so I think he would be been accepting, but confused. :-)

[audreyinalbany]

she knew of my invading her drawers when I was little and was never harshly judgmental about it. I wish I'd come out other as an adult. I think she would have been accepting.

[Debs]

Didnt have to, I could tell she knew

[Debbie Denier]

My mother discovered hidden tights when I was a teenager. A wig , dress and high heel shoes were found by my father in my early 20s. My mother told my father they were hers, even though the size 9 stilletos gave the game away. She knew from my teens. When my wife discovered my stash in my 40s . I thought it was game over for me. When I told my mother she suggested I store femme clothes in my then late fathers wardrobe. She allowed me to dress at her home for 10 years until she passed away. .She showed me unconditional love and support. Wish I came out to her a lot earlier than I did.

[_jenni_]

I told her after being caught and caught again that I just liked it better. That shocked her?still got me in trouble but when I started my own collection she never seemed to notice but we know she did, they always do.

[sara66]

I never told my mom, but I am sure she knew. Mothers have a sense for they things. She did make a few "offhand" comments that I am sure she was trying to prompt me with. I wish I could have told her when she was still around. She would have been very accepting. We also can never tell the people around us that we love them enough.
Sara

[BrendaPDX]

Like others here I never told my mother, but I know she knew.

[Stefanie Taylor]

Reading all of these replies is making me a bit sad. I so wish I'd have told my mum before she died.

Her acceptance would have been so good.

[Raychel]

My wife (now Ex-wife) was in the hospital for an operation, My mother was there for support.
While we were waiting for the operation to be done, My mother and I got into a pretty deep
conversation. She told me that my sisters ex-husband was a crossdresser. I did not know that.
But I did know that my uncle was also. We took the conversation outside of the hospital where
there were no listening ears. I told her that I was a crossdresser as well, She said Huh, I thought it was your brother.
So that made me question if one of them may be a crossdresser as well.
But either way I did tell her, She was very accepting.

[Steph_CD_62]

I never told my mom about my crossdressing.
I vaguely remember being caught by her wearing her panties around 5 or 6.
As a teenager, I thought I hid it from her, but according to my current wife she knew.
While married to my first wife, she threw all my lingerie in my parent's front lawn, and they had to pick everything up. We never discussed it though.

[alwayshave]

I have commented on this before. My mother over dinner one night about 20 years ago, asked me if I was still a crossdresser. I replied yes. Nothing more said. So I never told her, but she knew.

[JulieC]

Stexxl; First, WELCOME! Glad you're here! :)

I never confided in my mother, but she found my (limited) stash of pantyhose when I was ~14. I got a verbal lambasting that last for quite a while, including being read passages from the Bible. She was completely unaccepting of it. My mother was, from my view, otherwise an absolutely amazing mother. I could not have asked for a better mom, even with this. She was a single mom, and doing the best she could in a world where there were a lot of potential threats to our family unit. Her anger at finding my stash didn't do anything to stop my crossdressing. What it did do was teach me to hide it better. My new hiding location for my stash was in a cold air return vent in my bedroom. It was perfect. Easy to access and virtually no chance of detection.

I realized years after I left home that prior to getting my own stash, she probably knew something was up when I raided her drawers but didn't know if it was me or my brother.

[HollyGreene]

My mother is the last person I would have told. She had severe prejudices against anything that she didn't consider to be "normal".
She was dead against my first marriage just because my wife had a child from a previous marriage. ("Why are you bringing up someone else's kid? Where's his real father?)
She didn't accept inter-racial marriage - especially with black people.
I think I would have been completely disowned if she knew I was a crossdresser.

[Jessica Secret]

I told her when I was 17, nervous as hell but I wanted to take away the aspect of getting "caught" and not have her find out that way. She was very accepting and in fact bought me lingerie for my 18th birthday plus bought me lingerie again when I told her I was ready to make love to my boyfriend and needed something special to wear to bed for him.

[susan jackson]

Not having any sisters, my mum was the first person I told when I was about 8 years old

She was my biggest champion and a great help to me

[Sabine7]

No, I did not tell my mother. I have however as a boy explored her closet including silver evening knee-long dress, heels, garter pass and nylons. She had to be unwillingly my femininity influencer. I happened once that I broke a strip in her heeled sandals. She was surprised and how it could happen.

[Myra Thomas]

My Mother definitely knew when I was young, around four years old, as she would help me dress up in my sisters clothes. However when I got older I would hide my stash of her old underwear/clothes, but I am sure she knew. My one big regret is not telling her when I was in my teens and living at home.

[CharlotteCD]

I'm sure she suspects or knows, but there's no way I ever want to tell her or my father.

[Lacey New]

I think at one point, she suspected that I was using her panties because she made a remark about how young boys were attracted to the scent of a woman. After that, I decided to lay low for a while. Nothing else was ever said.

[Karen Wilder]

Hi Susan, wow how lucky. Could you tell us some stories of your mom's help?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Only Shared my Secret with my:love:Wife,

And a few Hundred friends on this wonderful Forum,

[Monique65]

I came very close to being caught by her but she never mentioned it. Of course, I didn’t bring it up either.

[SaraLin]

Eventually, yes I did. It was when I visited her from out of state. I was around 40 at the time.

Her reaction? "Oh. I thought you were going to tell me you were gay." That was it, basically a shrug. I think she went on to ask me what I'd like for dinner.

The only time she actually ever saw me dressed was one Halloween when I was about 8. She dressed in my sister's things since we couldn't afford a real costume.
While I loved it, it wasn't a big deal for her. In her eyes, it was just a costume, after all. It never happened again, either.

[chrissy111]

Yes she knew, I think I was 14 or 15 when I told her I liked girls clothes.

[JocelynJames]

Have never uttered a word of it to Mom. She?s 82 and still very with it . It?s not proper, but she has said I?m her favorite ( out of her 6 boys) . Could it be she unknowingly connects with my feminine side ? Just can?t see telling her or the rest of my family.

[Cheryl T]

Never came right out and told her, but I'm sure she knew. So few hiding places for my clothes. Not that she was nosy, just almost impossible to keep everything hidden.
I wish I had told her.

[SophiaRose]

Good Lord No. She would have cast some crazy Italian curse upon me. I had to show my father my stash however when I was 10. I got caught with firecrackers at school and had to give them up. He followed me to my hiding place in an old heater vent. Not sure if he ever told my mother.

[Stephanie47]

I did not tell her. Who else would have snapped the strap on her sole black bra? She and my father tried to hunt me down like a rabid dog. They were homophobic to the core.

[Marketa]

Short answer: No.
Long answer: Hell no! She criticize my male-self for everything under the sun and is master of emotional manipulation and blackmailing. One example to tell them all: Some time ago I had noticeably more weight on me, not to be obese, but I definitely wasn't slim and when I lost the weight (still had a bit more kg/pounds than I have now) she said I look sick how skinny I am. And when I visited her few months later she said that she's still getting used to how scrawny I am.

Imagine the carnage if she'd find out I'm a CD.

[Bethany38]

When I was younger and my mum was still around I was petrified about telling her about my crossdressing urges.

Having said that, I was rubbish at hiding stuff like worn tights, so she probably had an idea!

The older I get, the more I regret confiding in her about my needs and desires.

Anyone else feel the same? Or maybe did tell and had good/bad fallout.

(Still deciding on my fem name)

I told my Mom a few years ago. It literally rocked her world. I kind of regret it as it shattered her image of me.
Luckily I think she has forgotten due to other issues.
Thereb is much more background to this but I will keep that private.

[JohnH]

As someone who is now in his 70's, I told my mother about my wearing dresses and heels about 7 years ago. She passed away this past August at the age of 98 years. Her reaction? "Why do you want to wear 3 inch heels? I never did." She also said men will wear skirts someday. Other than that, there was no reaction.

John

[CynthiaD]

By the time I felt comfortable enough to tell her, she had severe dementia. There would have been no point in telling her, because she would never remember it. One of my biggest regrets is never going shopping with her as mother and daughter. On the other hand, I suspect she knew all along but was too embarrassed to mention it.

[DianeT]

My mother caught me once as a child, and found my stash another time. I never confessed but should have. I'd like to do it nowadays to make amend for that lie but not sure it makes sense to bother her now with this.

[abby054]

I did. At age nine for Halloween, I asked her to dress me up in a maxi skirt and an off the shoulder blouse and a wig. I had a great time. But it was only that one time. Soon thereafter, my younger brothers and sisters became old enough to tattle and gossip. I am the eldest of fourteen. I kept it secret from then forward.

It turned out to be a wise course of action. The most important rule growing up in my family was anything you say or do can be used against you. For my parents, their rule was in any dispute between children, the younger is always right. That explains why I ghosted them as much as possible. I had a job outside the household from age ten forward and I joined the Army as soon as I could get in. I still have little contact with them because those two rules still are in full force.

[jjjjohanne]

I never told mom. She is still around. I have seriously considered talking to her about it.

[Maria 60]

I guess when we are young we think we are so invisible and smart but thinking back I was so naive. I was caught once by my mom wearing her red skirt and pantyhose. She asked me why I did that and I just didn't answer her and that was it. I had a drawer with pantyhose in it and I would find them washed and folded neatly at times and never wonder who did it.
I knew she knew because one night she left some clothes in the bathroom before bed and my father seen them and thought they were mine because my father told me that my mother told him that she caught me and that I had a stash of pantyhose. After that night we didn't talk for five years till I got married and I guess he thought I was normal at that point.
It's strange at times how our emotions work because a few years back I wanted to come clean to my mom and tell her, I don't know why. My wife told me that she was eighty nine at the time and to maybe let her enjoy the rest of her life and not put this out now at her age. I see it in my wife once you become a mom, she will climb the highest mountain and swim the longest river to protect and make sure her children are happy.

[SheriM]

No, I did not tell anyone. However, I was always supposed to be a girl, something I was reminded of often. I wonder if that has something to do with my desires to crossdress or even be a girl. For me, early on, as young as 3 yrs old, I loved and still do like girdles. Still remember when mom got her first long leg girdle vs the open bottom girdles that were the norm at the time. I couldn't wait to try it on (by that time I was a little older.)

[JesseVF]

Never considered telling her or anyone for that matter. She caught me playing around with my sisters swim suits - I was actually trying to convince a few buddies of mine to try them on which even sounds very bizarre to me - talk about a pink fog! She just said stay away from their suits.
No idea how she would have reacted to an actual conversation about cd although she came to accept my gay brother so maybe it would have been ok? Looking back wish I had talked to him about it, but again this was the 70?s.

[Mari]

My mom passed away in November 2024 from cancer. As far as I know, she never knew about my dressing, and I certainly would never have told her, as she was very religious, and openly trans/homophobic, so she wouldn't have been accepting of it at all.

[Genifer Teal]

Nope! Mom's not a dog but at 91 we're not teaching her any new tricks. She said a long time ago I never want to talk about it again unless you're giving it up. It was at that moment i knew I'd never talk about it again with her. I never actually brought it up. Back when I was living at home she saw makeup i left out. That's when she said that.

[jjjjohanne]

My mom passed away in November 2024 from cancer. As far as I know, she never knew about my dressing, and I certainly would never have told her, as she was very religious, and openly trans/homophobic, so she wouldn't have been accepting of it at all.

My condolences on the loss of your mother, Mari.

[Katherine L.]

My mother caught me wearing one of her bras I found in the laundry hamper when I was 11 or 12 years old. I was very embarrassed at the time, but she didn’t make a big deal out of it. Wish I could remember exactly what we both said, but the fact I don’t suggests she wasn’t very upset and didn’t make it an issue. In retrospect, I’ve long thought she knew I had been trying on her bras before she actually caught me.

[Heisthebride]

Did I tell her? No. Was it discovered? Yes, when I was 15 or 16. It probably would have been better if I had told her, mistakes were made from both of us but it didn’t negatively impact our overall relationship.

It did teach me to be upfront about it when I was dating my now wife. I made sure to tell her fairly early on in our relationship.

[danniUK]

I'd only been dressing for a few years before my mum passed away (and that was only stockings in the bedroom, for the sexual thrill of it all).
It feels like I was a completely different person back then, there'd have been no way I could have told her - though I suppose because for a long time it was only a sexual thing and really, what guy talks about sex stuff with their mother, particularly when it's something unusual/a kink/etc. Which is very much what it felt I was doing, back in those days.
When she was terminal but still up and about she did tell me it'd be OK if I was gay. I was still trying to come to terms with realising I was bi at that time so didn't admit to that either.
It's funny how time changes you though.
I think I would have liked to have told her and I'm absolutely certain she'd have been fine with it. If it made me happy I think it'd have been OK with her.
I'm actually now only a few years away from being the age she was when she died and I do think that the sense of mortality that's given me has played a part in the feeling of "life's too short not to be who you really are" that I've had this last year or two.

[Georgina]

No I didn't but I wanted to. I was working up to tell her but unfortunately she passed before I got to do so. She may have known but she never said anything.

[Lacey New]

No, I never did tell her but I did suspect that she suspected that someone was raiding the clothes hamper. I could tell because all of a sudden the panties and bras were not there. I started to lay low after that.

[kayegirl]

No I never told my Mother, although I am fairly certain that she knew. But I never even thought about using any of her clothes or shoes. I believe that had I done so, there would have been serious reprocusions. Instead I used my older sister's stuff.
Now that I come to think about it, there was one dress that I cannot recall my sister wearing, but it was always easilly available to me, only disappeared when my sister got married and left home.

[Beano980]

I did, in both unsaid ways and later in life directly. I confessed to my mother when I was about 12 that I wanted to dress up as a girl for halloween. She was completely on board. Shoes, socks, dress, training bra. No wig or makeup. It was fun and I loved it. But I felt guilty and tried my best to downplay how happy I was about it. I'm sure she understood. When I was young I was often told by my mother's friends what a pretty girl I would have made!
Later in life, my crossdressing was a serious friction point in my marriage. My now x would often say how she felt so alone with this secret so I told her I would inform my mother so she would not have to carry this "burden" alone. My x thought that was a great idea in hopes that it would help my mother understand why my x was sometimes so difficult to be around. It did not work out the way my x was hoping. I shared my secret with my mother who simply shook her head and said, "it's not that big of deal and she should not be reacting this way towards me". I love and miss my mother very much ( she passed away 13 years ago)

[ShelbyDawn]

I never told my mother but one day I got out of the shower and went to get dressed. All of my underwear had been changed out for bikini briefs. I'm pretty sure she knew I was stealing my sisters' panties.

[Stefanie Taylor]

Wow, what did I start here?

There are a lot of touching replies that I've found quite emotional!

You're all a lovely bunch of ladies!

Lots of love xxx

[Christina89]

I attempted to a few times. I believe I honestly should?ve done it when she first discovered the stash of clothing I had of hers when I first started. But I did try officially again in 2010ish maybe and it started cause when we were at my grandparents house she made mention that she had hoped I was a girl. When we got home that night I tried to tell her and be honest with her about my cross dressing, but she wasn?t happy about it. I have wanted to bring it up again a few times lately, but I haven?t been able to do it.

[MsEva]

Never told my dear Mom. She had four boys. She longed for a girl. I was supposed to be a girl according to the old wive's tale of using a needle and thread over the hand. Yeah junk science! I guess she was sort of disappointed in that. Then my little brother came along and she was so hoping for a girl. Her sister had a girl about the same time. She once was trying to get me a halloween costume and said to just go as a girl. That sort of struck a nerve with me even at the age of 10 or so. I got furious with her suggesting that. Why o why didn't I just go along with that. Maybe that would have opened the conversation. Oh well. Life goes on.

[Claire Dee]

No and never would consider it. We have very different views on pretty much everything.

[JustineFallow]

Throughout my teens, I lied to myself that she didn't know about it. But I was not as careful as I thought I was about putting things back exactly where I found them, for one thing, and never realized that I was stretching out her bras! We never mutually acknowledged it until I was 40, and had a few brief discussions about it afterward--even made a few jokes about it here and there. In all other respects, we were very close, but I thought that it would have been a bridge too far to talk about it in my teens, or even to--GASP!--ask her to buy stuff for me. She was raised by pretty hardcore Catholics and all of her brothers were big manly men, so I don't think she really had a frame of reference for dealing with her son secretly wearing her pantyhose, heels, and dresses (and she had really nice stuff. But I always appreciated that she never embarrassed me about it, and that she knew I wasn't hurting anyone. I had shown her photos from professional makeovers, which she was guardedly impressed by, but it was an unrealized ambition to sit with her over a pot of tea while dressed up. It probably might have been a little too unnerving for her, mind!

[Freddi]

I never told my mum....maybe I should've done...she always wanted a girl....even had a girls name picked out ready for me & my brother but it wasn't to be. When I put make up on though if its a certain colour I can see why some say I'm like her.

[JoyceAnn]

Never did. Mom was open-minded and she might have understood. She had 2 boys and wished she had a daughter. She told me that Joyce Ann is what she would have named me had I been born a girl. I could have told her about me, but I don't know how that would have gone over. Not sure if she knew I tried on her clothes. Mothers have an intuition about that, but she never said anything to me. She was the type to bring things out in the open, so I think she would have had a talk with me if she had known. It would have been nice if we could have discussed it. It's possible that the conversations would have diminished my shame and would have given me self-confidence to carry into adulthood. Today, I think perhaps she is watching from above and is thrilled to see how happy I am when I am out as Joyce.

[snoostrawberry]

My mom really wanted a girl when she had me as well. Seems to be a trend! Today, I imagine she must have known that I was trying her clothes and things. I was a 10 year old kid, so I'm sure the things in her dresser were not they way she remembered leaving them. It makes me cringe a little. I never have mentioned anything to her, just because I wouldn't know what it would really accomplish.

[LIKETODRESS2]

I let my panties sowing on purpose in a way so my mo would seee them i. She in a way of coming out she freekd out

[Stacy Darling]

I had no choice, Mother new how Gurly I was and my older sister new way too much. So I just came out!

[Traci H]

No I never told my mom and if think it was best that way. She was pretty accepting and I think she would have no issue with it, but there just wasn?t any reason to burden her. After my father died, she had more than enough things that changed in her life.

[DAVIDA]

Yes, I actually did.
My daughter and I had been shopping, and I bought a skirt that was longer than we thought it needed to be.
So, I went to my parent's house and told her about what I had been doing since a very early age.
She said she had no idea, even when I brought up a few times I left some of the little sample lipstick tubes she would get from the Avon rep out.
After talking a bit, I asked her to hem the skirt about two inches shorter.
The only thing she said about it was, don't let this become a habit.:heehee:
Pretty much everyone in my family knows I am a crossdresser.:)
None of them has a problem with it at all, but I will not be dressed in front of them.

[tiffyjo]

I never told my mom, but I suspect she may have known, and possibly gave me a bit of a push?
** I'll explain **
I've done a lot of looking at old pics and came across quite a few that it appears possibly she was dressing me in girls clothing. Many appear as a little skirt and many with me wearing bonnets and frilly shirts and skirt type bottoms. Some that I would guess my age about 3. Makes me wonder if she planned a bit for a girl and had some girlish outfits. I even asked my brother looking at the pics and he agreed that possibly she had some outfits before I was born that if they had a girl, there were clothes available. Fast forward to when I was about 8-10 and she had sewn together a hanging "rag bag" is what I would call it. She put old wash clothes, towels, socks, etc. in it and they were just tossed in there. She hung it on the clothes rod in my closet upstairs as it was a very large closet/storage room. One day she asked me to go up and grab a couple of old wash clothes so she could do some dusting and when I reached in I felt something that felt very soft and pulled it out. it was a pair of her old panties and they were neatly folded and in a stack with about 6-7 other panties. I grabbed the wash clothes and back downstairs I went, but those panties had left a huge impression and excitement for me. That night when I went to bed I grabbed a pair and put them on and that was the start of the wearing of female underclothes because I loved the feeling and excitement. I always would fold them back up and put them in the bag, just as I found them. Days off from school and anytime I was alone, I would wear a pair. Mom would have me help put away clean laundry and many times I had to take stuff into her room and I would see pantyhose, girdles, bras laying on chairs or her dresser and of course I would wear them if home alone. Mom was a very neat and tidy person, so seeing those items laying out on the chair or dresser was a bit odd, but looking back, was she doing it on purpose?

Mom passed away in 2005 at 60 years old and with my life turning out how it has, I would like to ask her if she had staged that for me to find and experiment. She was a very open person with me and I would love to tell her how her putting those old panties in that rag bag has led to a life of being drawn to women's underwear and even some experimenting with blouses, jeans, shorts, etc.

[Katie Lynn cd]

I never told my mother but she eventually found my stuff. She never said a word until one evening there was a well known celebrity that was cross-dressing on a game show. Her response to that was extremely negative. I had my answer to her non-acceptance.

[cd300]

My mom knows and loves me either way. She has been the many pictures I have but hasn't yet seen her in person. Said she would like to one day

[JuliannaS]

I did not tell my mother, but after she passed, i showed up to her grave dressed and told her. I think her spirit is happy to finally have a daughter.

[JulieC]

That's an interesting idea, JuliannaS! My mother's grave is a few states away, and I haven't been back that way in a long time. But next time?

[Erin Lafleur]

I've often thought about telling Mom. She's 90 now and won't be with us much longer and we are very close.
She somehow knew that I had tried on her panties and slips and rather than embarrass me publicly, she took me aside and gently explained that little boys don't wear girls clothes.
Sometimes they do Ma, sometimes they do...
But I thank her everyday for doing what she thought was right but in a very loving way.

[Sallee]

I am sure my parents felt the same way They knew I was into crossdressing even sent me to a shrink but I refused to talk. I'd talk up a storm now. I eventually moved away got my own place and continued cding. Now I am married with kids, wife knows and puts up with it. My parents probably thought I grew out of my cding. Its still fun.