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DualRenaissance
01-12-2025, 10:02 PM
t's been 4 weeks since that Sunday when you faced your demon, although it wasn't easy you faced it and it wasn't as difficult as you thought it was for so many years. Of course, you needed a bottle of whiskey but you faced it and understood that he wanted.
For years, since you were 12 you thought you were homosexual but after these 4 weeks you have understood that you are not, neither bisexual nor any label that parades every June in the so-called pride. As you have always said, you do not identify with that cause. You don't like men either. What do you have then? what do you want? You have a sensitivity outside the standard of the average man, in that sense you are not a man like the rest, fortunately; you have a strong feminine side, you don't know if others also have it, in reality you don't care; That sensitivity is what made you believe that the label of homosexual with all its implications of the time when you were 12 years old. The fear of that burden took hold of you, consumed you from head to toe.
You lived angry for many years, angry with life, with yourself, you hated the world and you believed that the world hated you back, you convinced yourself of that, and you lived with the negative, very negative consequences of unfortunate decisions, femininity trying to find its way out and you consciously trying to prevent it from leaving, in that struggle you lost a lot of life.
You are
a beautiful duality, there is no one like you, you are unique, you are unique, you are special.

I've already dressed as a woman and I felt good, I sat down as a woman and I felt even better, I put on heels and walked as a woman, being a woman make you feel good

Helen_Highwater
01-13-2025, 05:12 AM
Finding yourself must be, as per your title, liberating. To understand yourself better and to banish some demons.

Now is the time for baby steps. Slow progression, consolidate as you move forward. Get use to these new feelings.

The pink fog can dissappear as quickly as it came, blown away by the wind of change as you're suddenly left wondering, where next. Euphoria replaced by normality.

Please keep us informed as to how you now progress. And don't forget to call upon all the experience to be found here.

Kris Burton
01-13-2025, 08:22 AM
I know the feeling well DR, finally addressing them at age 69. Exhilarating! Now four years in, the feeling has changed, mellowed perhaps, but not abated. I wish the same for you.

docrobbysherry
01-13-2025, 12:45 PM
It's so much easier for the youth today. Because they aren't growing up with the gender duality that we did!
That "either male or female", mantra!:sad:

They accept that they r someplace in the middle.:battingeyelashes:

Kitty S
01-13-2025, 01:28 PM
I sometimes wonder if I would be interested in crossdressing if it were accepted more when I was younger. I love the experience of transforming into Kitty, the makeup, perfume, wigs, breastplate, lingerie and dresses with stilettos! I love being the 1950?s wife dressed to the nines cocktail in hand greeting my wife with the smell of dinner cooking. The experience I enjoy is not the experience of today?s women. My wife takes much less time getting ready, no makeup, simple hair style and comfortable clothes. She looks amazing every day without all the extra effort. There is no denying she is a woman no matter what she does. If I cut corners I look like a MAID. So it?s not the clothes but the whole package giving me a glimpse of what it?s like getting ready back in the day. Maybe due to it being taboo when I was growing up is part of the draw? I don?t fully understand it, so instead I?ll just enjoy it! I have always enjoyed lingerie and flashy sexy clothes. My wife does too but is shy and would rather not wear that type of thing. She likes that I will and buys me things she wants to see me in.

MsEva
01-13-2025, 01:41 PM
I am so with you. I think that I too am a 60's housewife trapped in this body. I love taking the time to dress age appropriate, do some house chores and be myself. Thankfully I have a very supportive wife that accepts that part of me. She was so cool this week that she said you haven't purchased any nice things for your femme side perhaps you should look into getting some more stuff. I love that woman.

GretchenM
01-14-2025, 08:14 AM
I absolutely love your post and very moving essay. I am sure it rings a lot of bells. It carries such beautiful messages filled with hope in the process of learning who each of us actually is. Love it.

bridget thronton
01-14-2025, 10:16 AM
Very nice post

Sometimes Steffi
01-14-2025, 10:42 AM
I have always enjoyed lingerie and flashy sexy clothes. My wife does too but is shy and would rather not wear that type of thing.


I've got an unproven theory about GGs not wanting to dress sexy.

I think is due to a life, or perhaps only an early life, of "body shaming'. They can't get past their "good girls don't do that" upbringing.