It's not good

[Sharon budd]

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing good.
My partner and I have had a bit of a spat. She's left me and gone to her daughter's for a few days.
We had a bit of an argument which she raised some issues that took me by surprise.
She said she support's me, but she's fed up of seeing Sharon's clothes in our closet. She can't stand me leaving lipstick and nail varnish on the bathroom shelf. She says I leave my size nine shoes next to hers, which apparently is annoying. I'm getting really mixed messages, she sometimes buys things for Sharon so what is going on here? She is great, I miss her.
Sharon x

[char GG]

It sounds to me that she told you loud and clear what was bothering her.

[Maria 60]

It's such a sticky situation but I could only explain how my wife handles most things. She is very supportive as long as we keep both ends of our deal. She will buy me what ever I want and doesn't care if I'm dressed all the time but we agreed to keep it between us. My wife gets unset when I start to get careless, like leaving my shoes out and she has got upset that I did leave lip stick where I keep my wallet and car keys. When I told my wife her main issue was if I was able to keep it in the closet. I agreed and leaving my stuff out is kind of going against my agreement. Knowing how this bothers her I try my best to be more careful. I'm not going to lie I love to see my pink fluffy slippers out with hers and some little items around. It almost make me feel a more excepting feeling, but I'm not going to risk everything else for that. I guess in my wife's situation she doesn't mind me dressed as much as I want but when I finished she doesn't want to see it around. Sounds almost like something similar but your going to have to talk to her on this one.

[CharlotteCD]

It sounds to me that she told you loud and clear what was bothering her.

Yes. Without giving any suggestions as to what resolutions will make her happy. Typical crap communication that leads to spats going OTT like this.

[Debs]

It could also have nothing to do with it, and she's just using it as a stick to beat you with

[audreyinalbany]

I, of course, don't know you or your wife, but if this was enough to get her to leave and go to her daughter's for a few days, it sounds like more than 'a bit of a spat'. I think the two of you need to sit down and have a real heart to heart conversation.

[_jenni_]

She can support you and still not like things laying around?happy spouse happy house and all.

[Raychel]

I agree with Char 100%, She told you exactly what is bothering her.
Sharon is too much in her face. Time to man up and and Sharon needs to lay low.

[Genifer Teal]

Sounds like she's still figuring out how to deal with your dressing. Part of her wants to be okay with it. Part of her doesn't know how that can happen. Leaving these things around is a constant reminder of this looming conflict in her mind.

First and foremost, get everything in a separate closet, so she doesn't have to see it by accident. You need to reassure her about your future together, and what this means for your future. She might have concerns how far you will take this girl thing.

Give her some time to collect her thoughts. While you collect yours. The two of you need to discuss this much further.

[Claire M]

While she may claim to be supportive, she might not like the idea of sharing her space with this other woman, Sharon. Definitely a good discussion of how SHE really feels is needed, and maybe finding a better place to store Sharon's things not right in her face everyday?

[Di]

I agree with Char 100%, She told you exactly what is bothering her.
Sharon is too much in her face. Time to man up and and Sharon needs to lay low.


Agree with Char and Raychel completely.
She told you what’s bothering her….its there in her face all the time .
Take each thing she said and find somewhere else so it’s not in her face.
You say she buys you things to support you….she loves you.
Do the same for her , if these things in what was her domain before now bother her why is it too much to consider her.
Not saying you did this ….but we read all the time the wife is trying to show her love that she loves you buys you things….and we see here the CD makes it all about them .Why we repeat over and over baby steps.

Seriously this is not that big a deal just talk…..fix the things that bug her.( minor things)

Again with Limited info ….we read it here all the time the CD comes out the wife wants to show she loves you and give support and the CD makes it all about them. Baby steps…grow together….this sounds new to her . If I have this all wrong…forgive me…..but still these are simple things . Don’t make it where it’s all about you and not you as a couple. It takes time on both of you to find your way.

[Jillcder]

First of all Im very jealous you can wear size 9 ladies shoes. I would be more careful about leaving your girly items in plain site.

[danniUK]

Sounds like she's still figuring out how to deal with your dressing. Part of her wants to be okay with it. Part of her doesn't know how that can happen. Leaving these things around is a constant reminder of this looming conflict in her mind.

Exactly this. I've had similar with my wife - she wants to be totally accepting but some things are just too much, like leaving my worn clothes lying around on the floor.
Out of interest, how long has she known? Obviously if it's been a long time then maybe there is more to it than "still figuring it out".

[Helen_Highwater]

Look, let's be honest here. We men can be untidy so and so's. Leaving socks and dirty underwear on the bedroom floor, leaving the seat up. Tools left on the kitchen cupboard, the list can be endless. Leaving man things all over the place sort of goes with the marriage turf but when it spills over into your femme things, well you can see what can happen. Living with an untidy husband is one thing, having an untidy woman about the place is another especially if the things you're leaving out are items she puts away when they are hers.

Apologize, and start having a place for everything and make sure everything goes back in it's place and out of sight.

[bridget thronton]

Perhaps the two of you can figure out storage of Sharon's things that will not upset her.

[kimdl93]

I agree, she has told you what bothers her. Is there a way that you can accommodate her? Can you find another closet or if not, underbed storage for your clothes and shoes? And how about a makeup travel case for your makeup and nail varnish.

[DianeT]

Your wife told you what bothered her, so no need to ask us. The fact that she buys things for you is so you feel accepted. It doesn't mean you can rub your crossdressing in her face.
As for some answers you got... one asking the wife to make suggestions how to fix this. Ok, how do you fix doing things that annoy your wife? Well, maybe by... not doing these things?
And the next: "she's using it as an excuse and has ulterior motives". I mean, the lady's telling her husband in his face: "This, and this, and that, annoys me". One could just listen, take notes, and fix it. But no. We are CDers. CDing is just great and can't possibly annoy wives. All wives love having a husband dressed in panties. If they complain it must be for some other reason. Has to be.
Sometimes I wonder if this level of hearing impairment is specific to CDers, or is just part of the standard male behaviour, and causes divorces just as effectively whether you dress or not.

[BLUE ORCHID]

OK Sharon, You know what you have to do, Make sure that it's done before she gets Back !!

[snoostrawberry]

This reminds me of the HuffPost article, "My Wife Left Me Because Sometimes I Leave Dishes by the Sink." It's rarely just about one thing, like leaving lipstick out?it's usually about much more than that. Wives don't want to feel like they're constantly picking up after us or taking on a motherly role. It's about being respectful of her boundaries and wishes. Prioritize your wife by checking in with her, making sure she's okay, and being considerate of her feelings. Sharon can come second; your wife's happiness and respect should come first. Good luck and hope. you are able to work things out!

[alwayshave]

First of all Im very jealous you can wear size 9 ladies shoes.

I thought the same thing when reading the initial post. Like other's have said, just lay low for a while.

[Stephanie47]

IMHO, she may not be as supportive as you think. You can be overloading her senses with too much visual stimulation. Women are free to change their minds. It is possible, she is trying to show acceptance and participate out of genuine love and affection, but she is not truly onboard with your dressing. Give an inch, take a mile. Time for a serious discussion. Vacating the home for several days is a serious reaction to what I think looks like a minor issue. It's more than leaving your fem stuff out. This is more than telling a child to "go clean up your room!"

[docrobbysherry]

We could go on guessing here forever, Sharon? Or, u could just do what your SO requested and get her to come home.:battingeyelashes:

Then, after she comes back and settles in u can show her your post here!:thumbsup:

[Sharon budd]

Hi Girls, thank you all very much for your advice, which really equates to your support. I feel you all deserve an update, which I think is quite positive. I came to the conclusion, with your help, that I had to take action: so I donned my big girl pants and cleaned the house, tidied up and generally put Sharon's stuff away. Then I bought flowers and joined her at her daughter's. It went well and we had a couple of great days in London.
I'm now trying to reign things in and not being so in her face with my dressing. Though a funny thing happened the other day when she was getting ready to go out. She asked me what had happened to the Acqua di Gioia she bought me at Christmas? I told her I had put it away, to which she replied 'that was a daft thing to do'. Go figure!!!!!
Hugs Sharon x

[Connie D50]

It could also have nothing to do with it, and she's just using it as a stick to beat you with

I agree with Deb, the cloths and the shoes could just have set her off.

[BrendaPDX]

There is support and there is in your face, I am totally in the closet but have accidentally left out the makeup or missed one while putting things away. When that happens (very rarely) it generally ends with "Can you clean up your makeup in the bathroom?". Yikes!

[CarlaWestin]

Well, your not knowing what the problem is must be the problem, duh.

:straightface: