Told some friends

[Heisthebride]

A few weeks back I posted about bridging the two worlds I had in my life, the people who know and the people who don?t know. This past weekend four male friends and I were invited to another friends cabin for the weekend. We drank, ate, played cards, dice and board games, watched bad movies and old 70?s TV shows. Very much a guys weekend.

On Saturday night, I told the host about my crossdressing as we were picking up some pizza for the crew. As I told him he said he had actually known for about 30 years, since we had been roommates. But he never said anything because it was my story to tell or not.

On Sunday morning I told the other four guys about my crossdressing and involvement in burlesque. It went very well, no one freaked out. There weren?t a lot of questions but they may need some time to process too. There were actually more questions about burlesque than there were about my crossdressing. There was even talk of wanting to see a show sometime.

After the discussion we made breakfast, played more cards and everything was just as it had been before I brought up the topic. No harm, no foul. I think it feels like it will be harder to do than it actually is, at least for me. In this case I wasn?t too worried as I?d know these guys for years, but it was still a challenging topic to broach. I?m glad I did though.

[bridget thronton]

Glad things went so well

[kimdl93]

That took considerable courage on your part and you rose to the challenge.

[alwayshave]

Rebecca, I'm glad your reveal went well.

[Jillcder]

Great outcome sounds like you have a very nice group of friends.

[chrissy111]

That's how TRUE friends should react. Very happy it went well.

[Debbie Denier]

Pleased it went well for you Rebecca.

[Fiona_44]

Nice to hear Rebecca. All my friends know and the reaction has been fine.

[Maria 60]

You should be very proud of yourself because it must have taken courage and confidence to tell them and they must be special friends to want to share this and thank goodness it well well.

[il.dso]

Great story, only hope my buddies (and girlfriends) would react the same way...

[BrendaPDX]

Thank you so much for sharing, and I am happy for you it went so well.

[NatalieR]

I've told a lot of people - mostly women, but some men - and have found it very liberating. Well done!

[Connie D50]

Wow good for you so glad it went so well. :)

[Traci H]

Rebecca, I constantly think about outing myself to friends and family. It?s just as Blue always states, You can?t unring that bell. I?m glad it went so well for you. The load that is lifted can be substantial. Sometimes I just think, Why do I have to carry this burden and live in the closet?

[Heisthebride]

Traci, I understand your dilemma, I’m sure it’s different for everyone. In my case I’d spent so long in the closet and only recently have become more comfortable with myself and sharing with others. Part of that came from being out in public and having friends who knew from the start of our friendship. With my old friends, I had been in the closet and that seemed like the normal thing to continue to be in the closet.

My change of heart came from attending a funeral with picture boards. In my case, I realized I would want to share pictures with my friends who know about my crossdressing and the good times we’ve had together while I was dressed. But then the people who don’t know would just be discovering this part of me and have no context.

I wanted to erase that barrier and I felt comfortable how they were likely to react.

You know your friends and family and likely have a pretty good idea how they will take the news. Only do what you are comfortable sharing.

[danniUK]

Such a lovely thing to read Rebecca!

I've told some of my closest male friends this last year (individually) and had almost exactly the same reaction: it's no biggie.

I think *real* friends, and we do know who they are, are always going to react this way.

My most recent time, just before Christmas, he said "You do know there's nothing you could tell us that'd change how we feel about you, right?"
(Where "us" is our particular friend group)
Loved to hear that. But I think I already knew.

[Claire Dee]

That must be a great feeling to have it go well. I am not there and am doubtful I could really ever be. Not sure I?d want it out there since it seem that would be all that people focused on, I?d imagine.

[Heisthebride]

Claire Dee, I understand that everyone has their own path. You can choose to tell other people or not. Just know that you are much more than only a crossdresser. You still have all of the things in common with the people you choose to tell that you had in common before you tell them. This is another element of the whole you.

[Natalie5004]

Any old photos from those days?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rebecca :hugs: It is wonderful to have Friends like that, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Glenda58]

Last summer I was with a golf outing down south with the guys. At the end of the outing, I told them I wouldn't be back because I was trans. Since then, they have asked me to setup golf and go to the driving range with them as Glenda.

[Ceera]

So very happy for you!

[danniUK]

Last summer I was with a golf outing down south with the guys. At the end of the outing, I told them I wouldn't be back because I was trans.
Was that because you thought they'd shun you once they knew?

[jjjjohanne]

Your story and the following comments reminded me that I told a woman at work that I am a crossdresser. She works in an office in another state in the US. I worked on a project with her for several months and we developed a respect for one another. She had her pronouns in her email signature. I grew to feel that she was a safe person. I pulled her aside one day when she was visiting our office. We stepped into an office and I told her that I was a crossdresser. She was grateful for me trusting her enough to tell her. She has dealt with LGBT people enough that she seemed to know how to talk-the-talk. She was just as safe of a person to tell as I had assumed.