Sometimes it's not worth it

[Maria 60]

It hasn't stop snowing in days and my wife is stuck with me in her face. For some reason she doesn't like to see me relaxing and thank goodness she's ok with me dressing in front of her. We are pretty good together but now and then there will be a comment from either one of us to that could probably start an argument. Today she said something and I was about to retaliate, I was already taking a breath to speak and then I looked down at myself. I'm wearing a full slip and a silk robe and new stockings and garter belt she bought me. I exhaled and walked away and said to myself that I would rather be wearing this new wardrobe then win that war.
I was just wondering does anyone else just let them win the war just for the sake of our dressing

[Aka_Donna]

Yes, it happens often, but it's more giving up on this battle as the war of wearing vs not wearing has ended and it's ok to dress. It's not necessary to have all the wins if the major ones turn out well.

I remember snow and the 6 foot drifts. Cabin fever strikes about the 2nd day and it's all to easy to fight as frustrated can't live normally. Take a deep breath, smile and do what you can to make this a good memory vs a bad memory.

[bridget thronton]

I am happier if I do not strike back when I am attacked verbally.

[Jillcder]

Yup much better off to just zip your lip and sashay away in your girly clothes.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I don't let her win the war for the sake of my dressing, I let her win the war because it's usually just not worth the fight. She has a lot on her plate and lashes out at me quite often, she needs a punching bag and I'm convenient. I try not to take it personally, after she calms down it's all ok again.

But the times I did take the bait, I often felt kinda stupid yelling in a skirt with red toenails.

[docrobbysherry]

Maria, et al, I've a warning for u! Altho it didn't concern CDing I let me ex win the battles too often and it caused our break up!:sad:

For years my wife and I got into some spirited disagreements. I stood up for myself and we always ended making up in bed no matter who "won". Or, didn't win!:o

We vowed never to go to sleep angry. And, didn't until many years after we were married.:straightface:

Over the years she got more snippy and demanding. This coincided with the birth of our daughter. Both of which reduced our intimacy.:doh:

Eventually she wore me down and I just sucked up a lot of crap to avoid yet another confrontation.:thumbsdn:

When we went to a counseler to try and fix our marriage and she told me all that crap I digested had built up inside! With her help I brought it all up and stopped taking crap from my wife. However, by then she was used to having her way and stated it was her way or the hiwy. Divorce was very difficult for me. But, in the end it benefited us both and the kids!:thumbsup:

And, it gave me time alone. Of which Sherry is a result!:battingeyelashes:

So, when you're rolling over for your SO, ask yourself if you're really blowing it off or letting it build up deep inside like I did? Don't make the same mistake I did!

[Stephanie47]

I probably let a particular issue slide. Just today my wife, who is a non-driver, asked to be taken a fabric store and Goodwill for fabric hunting. Her stash of fabric is overwhelming. If there is a bargain, like today, at Goodwill, she justifies her purchase with "I have a plan!" Sure! I'll believe it when I see it! I have to assume my wife may be aware of my "collection" of feminine attire. I think my reaction to her fabric purchase is to buy another nylon nightgown or all the new colors of my favorite styles of panties. So, she collects fabric, but so do I, except my fabric has already been made into something. At our senior age there isn't too much left to argue about.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria :hugs:, Read Line #4 in My Signature, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[alwayshave]

Maria, No doubt my tongue has bite marks on it from holding back when she makes a comment.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

So, when you're rolling over for your SO, ask yourself if you're really blowing it off or letting it build up deep inside like I did? Don't make the same mistake I did!

Great advice!! Even if you let her win, there needs to be some kind of discussion or understanding afterwards, or it'll eat you alive!

[Maria 60]

Thanks for the great responses, I ask questions here to always get the different opinions and different view point and Doc's real life experience always helps. After I wrote this it reminded me when I was younger and my parents would get into an argument. One time I watched my dad step away and I asked him why he backed down, he told me "son at times you have to pick the war worth fighting for". I guess that makes sense.

[Traci H]

I used to see this with my father in law, just backing down to let his wife run roughshod over him. He said he didn?t even hear it any more

My wife and I have fights sometimes. Crossdressing issues can spark some nasty ones. These I kind of back off on ad she didn?t sign up for this. However on other issues I?ve recently stepped up my objections to her nagging. I tend to let stuff go, whereas she harps about little things that ruin life. Not going to take that anymore.

I treat my wife so well with taking care of the house, her needs, etc. If only she would relent on the crossdressing, things could be so good.

[CarlaWestin]

My wife has a hairpin trigger for anger and sometimes the smallest thing irritates her. I on the other hand have no anger at all. Or at least none that I know of.
She vents quickly and I just remain calm and follow up with something like, "So, what do you want to do for dinner?" As we're totally DADT, that's a whole group of triggers that don't exist.

[Philipa Jane]

In my past life I was always right.
Friends used to joke that I could never utter the words I am or I was Wrong.
What has changed in me is now I am always ready to back down. It not a case of I think they are right just perhaps that I don't want the aggravation.

[DianeT]

I'm not sure I get it. You didn't retaliate just because you wanted to dress in the attire, or because you considered that since your wife gives you so much then you could be nice to her?

[Traci H]

Maria, more comments from me. I totally get it. It?s just not worth it sometimes. Count your blessings and let somethings go. Applies in arguments about crossdressing or other things. Life?s too short to elevate all comments or situations into an argument, especially if you?re sitting there in a slip, stockings and garter belt. Pick your battles wisely and move on.

[April Rose]

In my long happy relationship with my late wife, I would, on occasion, let her win the battle so I could finish my sandwich in peace. Let alone something as fraught as cross dressing. ;)