Sex and relationships !

[Cheery GG]

Hello,

I would like to ask a question, this is open to anyone who would like to contribute but please no vulgarity, this is a serious question.....

I would like to know how important sex is in your realtionship....im not talking anything to do with cross dressing....im talking sex....plain and simple....

Was it more important in the beginning of the relationship ? Has it been exchanged for something deeper ? Are you simply too tired and cant be bothered ? If sex were not a big part of your relationship, what could take its place...?

Cheery
xx

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi Cheery,

Well I don't have a relationship but I can honestly say that it is a huge consideration for me now. I would have to be sure of honest, healthy sex as part of any relationship. This could make finding a mate problematic.

Em

[paulaN]

It is very important to me. I am almost always ready for sex. And I never had sex I didn't like. So ya it's real important, I can't imagine life with out it. Even if it's by myself.

[Yes I am]

Sex is pretty essential, but I've found that if it happens too early in a relationship it can be an impediment to furthering that relationship. Sex gives me a way to express my passion and devotion to my lover, I take great joy in pleasuring her. I've found that to be the key to great sex, being unselfish and directing your energy and focus into satisfying one's partner rather than working towards satisfying one's own ends. There's really nothing that could adequately replace that. And as far as my dressing goes, dressing is not necessary for me to have or enjoy sex, but honesty is, so any potential lover must know about and accept that about me before we can engage in sexual activities. And right now I'm fortunate enough to be in such a relationship with a loving woman.

[Jamie M]

I think that for both kelly and i , sex has always been important in our relationship. It's not just about the physical act , it's more to do with validating how we feel for each other and about sharing ourselves and our feelings.

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Emma,

To be honest with you sex has never played a really big part in my life. I have been single for over 10 years now but even when I was with my former partner it was never that important. I suppose I must have a very low sex drive to be honest as I don't really miss it either.

Gemma xx

[Dana]

I believe that its all relative, to any given person, at any given moment over the course of their lives. For example if I'm seriously stressed out about something ~ say my job ~ or some other issue ~ sex isn't exactally the center of my focus.

I mean lets face it? When you're up to your neck in alligators, and snakes, you tend to forget that when you started out ~ your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Un-questionablly in both men and women ~ hormonal levels play a role, as can day to day outside distractions ~ this is especailly true for women who are mothers ~ and who have a disporportinate share of the household chores to carry ~ without any help from their mate.

There was a time in my life when I was an idiot about sex. But, having been married, divorced, fathered two children, having a hand in raising two others etc ~ along with the vaious nasty dieseases running around ~ that there's no cure for ~ to say that I've grown very selective would be an understatement. Sex is still a great way to start the day ~ or to end the day for that matter ~ but its not the end all to end all ~ that it once was. Except maybe with the right person ~ thing is ~ its hard to find the right person.

When it comes to sex these days ~ I pretty much tend to favor "threesomes"
As in me, her, and a medical doctor! We need to talk ~ and have some bloodwork done up! Or at the very least ~ using common sense protection~ I mean afterall you don't send a solider out to combat without a helmet and flak jacket do you?

Having already experienced the thrill and joy of having been "man-hustled" and "ecomincally raped" in divorce court ~ the last thing I want to do is have another child with a woman that hates the very ground I walk on and the very air that I breath.

So, with all that said ~ as I said sex is great ~ but with the right woman ~ not just any woman. Me? I'm older and wiser now, than is days' gone by, and I know and completely understand that if a woman isn't happy between her ears ~ first and foremost ~ than she's never going to be satisfied otherwise, (I know, I know but I'm talking about the 'big picture" and long term here)

I think and believe that for sex to continue to be gratifying and satisfying in a long term relationship that you have to be creative, and imaginative ~ and that doesn't necessarly involved anything "kinky" (But, hey? If it flips your trigger and floats your boat ~ go for it ~as long as it doesn't get anyone hurt on any level)

After I got divorced, and not knowning "why" I was divorced, (all she said was that I had to change and that I was a workaholic) I decided that this fool needed to go back to school ~ because there was something that I had missed.

Two things that helped me to become a better lover, was reading "How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time.... and have her beg for more!" by Narua Hayden, Bibli O'Phile Publishing Company, NYNY, ISBNo.# 0-942104-01-3

Its a book written by a woman, about women's experience / side of sex. Very imformative. And, I highly recommend it for any man or woman. As my last long term GF, said, "Sex, was NEVER one of our problems!

The other thing that I got a great deal out of ~ and at the time I had only read her small paperback version ~ and appled its principals ~ and it not only worked ~ it worked TOO well with women ~ so much so ~ that now I only use it IF I want a relationship to go to the next level and get serious ~ otherwise I can't keep the woman from calling me all the damn time, knocking on my door in the middle of the night ~ I actually had one try to crawl in through the bedroom window! (Once you view the sight ~ there's a version for women and a version for men)

http://www.lightyourfire.com

Its pretty potent stuff.

[Annaliese]

Hello,

I would like to ask a question, this is open to anyone who would like to contribute but please no vulgarity, this is a serious question.....

I would like to know how important sex is in your realtionship....im not talking anything to do with cross dressing....im talking sex....plain and simple....

Was it more important in the beginning of the relationship ? Has it been exchanged for something deeper ? Are you simply too tired and cant be bothered ? If sex were not a big part of your relationship, what could take its place...?

Cheery
xx
My wife has had some problems in last few years, I have found that our relationship has nothing to do with sex now it has grown to much more. I have found that I can survive with out sex but I could not survive with out her because we are one now.
It is beautiful just to fall a sleep in the arms of the one you love.

Anna

[Jodi Lynn]

I have to agree with Anna, my wife and I haven't had sex for some years now too, but we still love each other very much.

[allisonrn06]

After 5 years,sex is still a big part of our marriage, although I wish dressing was something i could share with my wife.Right now there's no sharing of that at all.Which is why I'm very happy to have found this place:happy:

[sharifemme]

Cheery...

Sex is definitely more important to me than my DW. I would love to have her honey on my stinger all the time but she really doesn't care, especially since I told her I was TG. But, in her defense, she has a high-stress job that takes all her energy and her health is not that good. At times in our lives we have both been insatiable, but I guess that is past now.

Since I love her so deeply, I would stay with her even if I never had sex with her again but I have to admit, I'd love to be closer to her and romp a little more often.

Hope I wasn't too blunt.

Sharifemme

[Cheery GG]

Cheery...

Sex is definitely more important to me than my DW. I would love to have her honey on my stinger all the time but she really doesn't care, especially since I told her I was TG. But, in her defense, she has a high-stress job that takes all her energy and her health is not that good. At times in our lives we have both been insatiable, but I guess that is past now.

Since I love her so deeply, I would stay with her even if I never had sex with her again but I have to admit, I'd love to be closer to her and romp a little more often.

Hope I wasn't too blunt.

Sharifemme

No that wasnt too blunt ,....made me smile though....ive never heard the terms honey and stinger.....called something different in my house....lol

cheery
xx

[sharifemme]

Cheery...

Thank God! I didn't mean to offend anyone but wanted to inject a little humor into the reply!

Sharifemme




No that wasnt too blunt ,....made me smile though....ive never heard the terms honey and stinger.....called something different in my house....lol

cheery
xx

[Bev06 GG]

I would like to ask a question, this is open to anyone who would like to contribute but please no vulgarity, this is a serious question.....

I would like to know how important sex is in your realtionship....im not talking anything to do with cross dressing....im talking sex....plain and simple....
Hi Em,
The short answer to that question is VERY IMPORTANT. I believe that sexual intercourse helps to deepen and strengthen the union of two people. For me it is not a technique to be mastered but more a means of communicating, a non verbal expression of profound commitment, openess and trust. I dont believe its something that can bemeasured by the number of of orgasms per hour any more than a good conversation can be measured by the number of words spoken. (I think I read that somewhere).

Was it more important in the beginning of the relationship ? Has it been exchanged for something deeper ? Are you simply too tired and cant be bothered ? If sex were not a big part of your relationship, what could take its place...?
I dont think it can be exchanged for something deeper. I know I'll get clobbered for saying this but as enjoyable as it may be, I also believe that it is a duty, after all you wouldn't deny your partner food or sleep because that would be deemed cruel and unjust, so why should sex be any different. I know that there are many fantastic relationships where sex isnt the thing that they do any more and thats fine if both parties are in agreement, so please dont anyone have a go at me. I am speaking from a personal view here and that is what you asked for so that is what Im giving. Hope it wasn't too profound.
Take care BEVxxxxxxxx

[emma_bb]

sex has never been a priority with me personally speaking id preffer to get on with the othther person rather than just be glued together so to speak i just see sex as a bonus of a relationship not the be all and end all of it to me honesty,trust and understanding are far more important qualities. the way i see sex is as an extention of love

[Cheery GG]

Thanks Bev....

Your reply was very interesting and thought provoking....

cheery
xx

[ashlee chiffon]

there are lots of reasons sex gets displaced, put on the back burner, or avoided entirely...but in a relationship it is important for both parties to understand what the reasons are or at least try to find what works for the both of them...my last relationship of 14 years was sexless in the last two years, not because of dressing, but because we were growing apart...and for the last two years, i have been celibate because of 1) wanting to stay healthy *with all the bad things out there one can catch* and be with one partner again someday and have her feel comfortible with sex with me 2) the inability to find a partner i want to get sexually and emotionally involved with so far 3) the partner would have to know this *cd* side of my life and that's not something that's easy to bring up on a date! So, i look and will find, and will share, and it will be with someone i care about and Not just to satisfy my urges!
But all will depend on how we feel...and what both are needs are at the time...there is no Perfect answer, but i agree, intimacy is very important to a relationship!

[Jeanette TS]

Well in the first it was but after 18 years and two children later and don't forget to through in my TS. I can answer it truly it's none existent, i now have been true and even that there are some nice women and men asking me out, i have to decline as i am still married but living apart and i am still in lov with her but sex between us theres nothing.

Lov Jeanette x

[GypsyKaren]

This is a difficult question for me to answer, but I'll give it a try. Sex, a physical closeness, is important to me and I cherish it, but at the same time I'm afraid of it. In fact it at times terroizes me. I have been kicked down many, many times in my life, by strangers, my parents, and by ex-wives. If you kick a dog enough times, she will hide in the corner and be afraid of everyone. This is what happened to me.

I love my Kat so much, and I know how much she loves me, and no one in the world could possibly come close to how much she excites me. She can just turn her head in a certain way and I'm all aswoon. I guess I'm still so afraid that all the good she's given me will be taken away somehow, just like it always has in my life. This makes me a very poor initiator, I'm afraid to make the first move because of my embedded fear of rejection and hurt. Kat has always been so patient, and she gets things started, and then it's "loosen the havoc, and unleash the dogs of love!" In other words, it's woo hoo!

Karen

[Rikkicn]

In our home sex is a spiritual practice. I've heard it said that sex was the original religion and I think that may be true. It's the most intimate human beings can be with each other. There is a depth of sharing and heart connection that can't be achieved in any other way. This is my belief and perhaps not others.

I met my sweetie when I answered her online ad looking for a sex partner. Both of us had recently left a sexless LTR. Both of us were starving for touch, intimacy and affection and yes, orgasms as well.

Our first date lasted 2 weeks and from then on I only went home every 3-4 days and a year later we moved in together and now 4 years later we're getting married. It was through sex that we came to know each others hearts, minds and bodies.
We celebrate each other bodies and love to swim in each other for hours on end.

We are open and expressive as to what we each need and we love to honor each others requests. When I ask for something I want she always thanks me for asking because that means she can please me. I do the same with her. We once heard that if you don't ask your partner for what you want then they can only be wrong. It takes a bit of thinking before that makes sense, but it does.

A fulfilling sex lives awakens our creativity, our passions for life, enthusiasm, playfulness and desire for life. A pretty good thing, don't you think?

My sweet heart identifies as an omni-sexual dyke and I as a omni-sexual trans something or other. The omni part only means that gender isn't important to us. Oh, and we're monogamous. Our sexual activities are many and varied and growing all the time.

I can go on but I think everyone will get my points.
Thanks for starting this thread. I think it's way under discussed in our community

Rikki

[heathr1]

To me, sex is important in a relationship, but not the be all and end all.

[Dawn D.]

Whew.....This is one that gets my heart racing, but not for the obvious reasons. I'll try to explain. Having recently come completely out of the closet to my SO, I have found an even more vital connection to her, only not in a sexual nature. Just a closeness that I really did not anticipate to happen, though it did. I believe that if I am successful in getting her to participate in this forum she would agree. She has told me in the last month, several times, first that she was somewhat taken aback by this "change" in my attitude (for lack of a better word) in dealing with her needs. Second that she is really appreciating this change and waits with even more anticipation to us sharing our time together.

So what does this have to do with our sex life? Well, I have come to realize that before "Dawn", when I wanted sex and my SO wasn't as receptive, I would just pester her until she would give in. Not that I was an ogre or completely insensitive about her disdain at that time. However, I did not try to understand or listen to her reasons for not being interested or not in the mood. Now it seems that with her growing acceptanceof my CDing (though we still have a long way to go), I have these feelings more for closeness than an outright "want" for the act of sex. Her reasons for not wanting do not go unheard or misunderstood. And when we do have sex, the pleasure itself is even more deeply satisfying, at least to me and again I would like to think she'll say the same.

And as Anna so aptly pointed out above:


It is beautiful just to fall a sleep in the arms of the one you love.


Dawn

[Andrea]

I've had several long term relationships with GG's andfound that of all of them the one I cared about the most had some of the least sex involved. Caring was often demonstrated by hugs, kisses and just a touch on an arm or hand as one of us passed, although sex was involved as well, which we both enjoyed.

as has been said its nice to hold / be held whilst you go to sleep, breathing in your partners scent.

[Cheery GG]

Thanks everyone for your comments....its all very interesting...

cheery
xx

[DonnaT]

In the beginning there was ... wait, I've only ever had sex with my wife, and that after marriage. So to me it was commitent and a very important part of the relationship, not a reason for the relationship.

Over the years, however, my libido has dwindled. A combination of age, overweight, diabeties, bad back. My wife's, on the other hand has increased. She gets upset when I don't initiate sex, and I've suggested that she do the initiating instead of waiting for me to get in the mood. I've never denied her, but she can't seem to come to terms of being the agressor.

So, I think it is important, because my wife needs it, and it's very important to her.

[Dragster]

I'm interested to know what prompted you to ask the question Cheery; are you doing some research or something? Does it have some relevance to your relationship, or are you just curious?

Since you asked, sex is very important to me in my relationship. It was quite late in life (20s) that I became sexually active, and both my wife of almost 37 years, and I, have only had one sexual partner each, one another! That's real monogamy, and it feels rather special to me! Unfortunately, our activity has dwindled with time and is currently almost non-existant, and I think her negative attitude to my CDing, since she has known about it, may be the cause. We're working on this (very slowly), and I posted a request for help here only a few days ago. Here's the link.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28480

As I stated in the above post, I have filled the vacuum with "DIY", where dressing, especially in sexy clothes, significantly increases the excitement and pleasure for me. I would be in seventh heaven if I could get my wife to accept this from time to time, and I'm prepared to do whatever she wants to do in the bedroom, or elsewhere for that matter. We have a terrific relationship otherwise, and even if she never changes her mind about CDing, I'll still love her till the end of time.

Tony

[Caitlintgsd]

Sex? What is that? Just kidding. Actually I have no sexual drive. I think I lost that the first time I picked up a vial with "Estradiol" on the label. But I'm content with it so it isn't an issue for me.

[Sandra]

I think it is important but as a lot have already said not the be all and end all. I wouldn't say it was more important in the beginning with me and Nigella but we were like a couple of :bunny: mainly because we lived miles apart and only saw each other once a week . Now my sex drive has dwindled but Nigella's is still the same, sex is great between us we just don't do it as often :) but this doesn't cause any problems, as people have said a cuddle and snuggling up to your partner can be just as good. :).

[Rikkicn]

I came across an interesting article that talked about the number of men that are seeking sex with "********" I hate that term but that's waht they use it seems. I'm speaking of trans women that have had everything done but the srs.
The reason that these men are attracted to them is becasue they are beautiful, feminine and have the sex drive and interest of men. I think this may be true and it makes sense to me. Men and women are socialized differently in our culture around issues of sex. Here's an example. Think of how many words there are for male masturbation and then think of how many there are for women's masturbation. Huge difference! In some sense women arn't supposed to be sexual or allowed to be sexual like men are.
Don't know if this is on topic but I thought it was interesting.
Rikki

[Megan_Renee]

our relationship is odd... I think. We like having sex, but if there is a good TV show on, that's good too. Although, my SO is just coming off the pill and last time she was off the pill we were bunnies... Maybe I'm just really sensitive to her hormones or something...

Megan

[A sage GG]

My sex drive is much more varicious than my husbands. While in the begining we were rabbits. Now it can be more routine. We have discussed this topic on occaisons and have come to compromises.
I asked my mother if she had the same problems (as that is who I got my sex drive from. I suspect.) She told me that the sex is like an ocean it ebbs and flows back. There are times when in is very important for comfort, stress, and the need for affection. And there are times when just connecting with words or those special glances are enough. Moms are such a great source of profound wisdom!!!
Sex is important to me. I do use it as a non-verbal communication device. And well it really feels good too!!! But ruts happen, life can get in the way, and desire seems to have left the building. I know sex is better when I feel good about myself. And even better when we both feel good about ourselves.

[Anita Mae GG]

It's interesting that you started this thread now Cheery, as we are currently arguing about this at home. He hasn't initiated in well over a year and never seems interested. Every time I try I get "I'm tired" which of course we all are but you have to make the effort at least.

As someone said earlier about cuddling is good too. He hates that too. He does'nt like to have me near him on the couch. I get a kiss in the morning before he leaves for work and maybe one when he gets home if we both remember to kiss each other. That is all.

Now don't get me wrong, sex is not the MOST important thing but I don't see it as just an act I see it more as a connection. He told me today that The kids are the #1 priority and that our marrage is not. If he has enough time and energy for me after playing with the kids then he will use it on me if not then basically my loss. This is all referring to actual sex but I would like to think we can have our marriage and relationship be just as high of a priority as the kids......

Maybe I am just not cut out for this............ (marriage). Marriage is supposed to be about 2 people who love each other, spend time together both with and without kids etc. That is not how mine appears to be headed.

[Eugenie]

Sex has always been very important for me and still is.

In the past few years, my wife lost completely interest in sex. We sleep in separate bedrooms. For a while I felt very frustrated. I came recently to realize that, for her, menopause had completely reduced her sex drive, actually to the point where she can't even be touched. It seems to be physiological.

I'm sure part of it is linked to my x-dressing which she dislikes entirely even though she tollerates it. But it isn't the only reason. Even though she has known about my x-dressing since more than 30 years, we had normal sex untill fairly recently, up until she had menopause, albeit less than I would have liked being so sex driven myself. I know that some GGs have a different reaction, but for her that was the end of it.

I'm not a person to have short relationships. I do have a longterm sexual relation (more than 25 years)with a friend of ours, which my wife knows about (free sixties, open mariage attitude). Unfortunately she lives on your side of the Atlantic and I live in France... So we see eachother very rarely but intensely...

So sex being important for me, I don't feel so happy about this situation...

Love.

Eugenie

[Julie Avery]

Interesting questions.

How important sex is in your relationship?

I think that if our relationship became devoid of sex, we'd each seek it somewhere else, and that would destroy the relationship.

Was it more important in the beginning of the relationship?

It was more frequent at the beginning. Sparks were going off in the presence of TNT.

Has it been exchanged for something deeper?

Sexual intimacy has developed into a broader kind of intimacy which involves baring the soul. It's less tactile at the wellspring of what drives the relationship, but it would be terribly incomplete without sex.

There is a "boredom" factor that attacks monogamy, that's an issue I think folks should be aware of.

Are you simply too tired and can't be bothered?

No, I am a genetic male. If I told my partner that I was too tired and couldn't be bothered, I'd be lying on all but rare occasions. :cheeky:

If sex were not a big part of your relationship, what could take its place?

Being profoundly honest with each other, and physically holding each other.

[carolynhcd]

I am very lucky, because sex has always been very important to me. When I was in college, and very inexperienced, I looked to the gorgeous girls who seemed to be ****s to teach me about sex. They really didn't teach me much about sex, but I learned a lot about having a broken heart. I rejected the timid girls, the mousey girls, because they didn't make a move on me and they weren't gorgeous and glamorous. One in particular I knew loved me, but I wanted the six foot blonde with the perfect body and little girl voice. Since that time, I have been with nearly fifty women, some stunningly beautiful, some average. I learned a bit in that time, but the one iwho loved me in college, the one I rejected and I ran into each other 4 years ago. She had married a close friend of mine shortly after colege and told him that I was the love of her life. He quickly came to hate me for that, and my contact with her over the years was sporadic at best. But when we met face to face 4 years ago, I could see that she still felt the same way. We met a few days later in a park and I told her that I did not want to be with her, or any other woman, for that matter. I had become exclusively homosexual for the last few years, not as a gay man, as that term might be understood in places like San Francisco, where I had lived for a decade, but rather as a crossdresser. I told her this, and that I never wanted to have another girlfriend again. I should say that many years of my life were wasted in yearning heartbreak for 4 women who had hurt me badly. But Christine was not to be put off by these confessions, so I opened the trunk of my car and showed her many of my feminine clothes, wigs, lingerie, shoes, makeup, etc. She said she loved it and wanted to be with me as a girl. She said she hated being with men as they all seemed to exhibit a kind of rough selfishness that she abhorred. She told me she really wanted to have sex with me girl to girl. I crumbled under the imaginable attraction. We have been together for 4 years now and we only have our own kind of "lesbian" sex and it is delightful for both of us.

To address another aspect of your question, for me, sex is a biological and psychological imperative. I am aging now and erections that last are more rare than once they were, but I still try to climax at least four times a day. In my twenties and thirties, the number or orgasms was almost orders of magnitude higher. I see no reason, given my historically high sex drive, to spend twenty minutes in a sexless relationship if there is no prospect of that changing, but, chacun a son gout, n'est-ce-pas?

[Katiegirl]

Interesting question, I may have had 4 children,but to me sex has always been a disaster area so I gave it up many years ago, which was no great deal as I now have no partner.

I have plenty of GG friends but I have never try to go further than that, to me their friendship is enough.

:straightface:

[Joy Carter]

My wife has had some problems in last few years, I have found that our relationship has nothing to do with sex now it has grown to much more. I have found that I can survive with out sex but I could not survive with out her because we are one now.
It is beautiful just to fall a sleep in the arms of the one you love.

Anna

Right On Anna! I'm in my fifties I work full time my SO works and is involved in many other things outside the home. It is just nice to be together without the pressure to perform not only that the homones start to drop off at our age. Not to say we don't but it's not the end of the world if we can't. Besides the charlyhorse I get some times are just murder better get a car with a bigger back seat. LOL

[ashlee chiffon]

so...after looking at my own relationships and listening to these comments...

am i understanding that after a long period of time, things may not be as interesting sexually between a couple as when they first were "madly in love", additionally, maybe two people aren't meant to go on forever with each other in a relationship when the interest in intimacy wanes, even though both parties think they love each other and are comfortible in other ways?
i know that i have been accused of a lack of intimacy and i tried to figure it out myself...i found myself, thru life, attracted to attractive cd's, but not to men in general, as i just love women to death, but my ex thought i was gay because of it. I tried to explain that i was always that way, that our sex life was great for half the years , then we each started losing interest! For many years, she was turned on by my dressing, then *just about when menopause and hot flashes initiated...along with many arguments and discontent with each other* she decided she wanted out and we broke up..i wanted to go to consuling as i thought 14 years was worth saving, but she said it was too late *another guy popped in*. i've been single ever since *for six years, now* as i don't want to go thru That heartache again. I'm always going to be who i am, acceptible or not, but in retrospect, i'll show my next partner Much more attention and love and if i can't, won't get involved.
But then, that is just My perspective...

[Christina Nicole]

Oh I just love sax. There is nothing else in life that is as good and satisfying as great sax. It just reaches down to your soul and toys with your emotions. It can bring you up to great heights and send your crashing down. It can charge you up for hours on end. Coletrane, Bird, and Bostic were masters, for example. Of course, sax is more than just old men, Mindi Abair, on the other hand, knows how to blow as well as anyone. And she's a heck of a lot prettier when she does it! Yes, sax for me is very...

Oh wait a second. You said sex. Darn. That's very different. Never mind. Sex isn't very important to me. I have a boat, Jet Skis and a pilots license and lots of other toys. Oh, and some great jazz CDs. Who needs sex?

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

:cheeky: :cheeky: :cheeky:

[Amanduhrob]

Well, sex is much more important for me than Holly, unfortunately she has an extremely low sex drive. She seems to get what she needs by being a Dominant, so our sex is more of me begging for release after a few hours of teasing.

[michellecd9999]

It is important to me and to my wife. I am 49, been married 26 yrs. She does not know about my Cding, so that is not a factor. We have a good relationship in general. We usually make love 2 times a week, not bad for someone in our age group! But I have a high sex drive and take care of my needs on a daily basis (usually associated with dressing in something). I would love to do it every day with the wife!
Michelle

[kittypw GG]

Cherry,
I loved this thread and have found all of the comments very interesting.

For me sex is very important to my feelings of clossness to my husband. He is very introverted and quiet and this is one way that we connect. I have a greater sex drive than he though. I seem to be able to have sex anytime and he needs to have certain conditions. When I was single I did not have a lot of sexual partners but never went more than a day or two without at least self gratification. I can't see my sex drive diminishing anytime real soon if ever. It has been fairly constant in my life. My openess about sex and my quest for it may be the driving force behind accepting the crossdressing in the bedroom. When long periods of time lapse between sexually intimacy with my husband I start to feel a disconnect with him. Sex is the most intimate you can be with someone and sort of cements that special bond of clossness I feel with my partner. So.............that would make it essential to the maintenance of the relationship for me. Kitty