Interesting question

[Maria 60]

My wife asked me a interesting question last night. I was fully dressed and we were having dinner and she asked me just a curiosity question. She asked me if God forbid something should happen to her or for whatever reason we should separate and I should get into another relationship, how would I go about it with my situation? She reminded me when I told her I was only into pantyhose and slips and that once I achieved satisfaction I couldn't rip off the pantyhose fast enough and almost be disgusted in myself. But I've changed now, its so much more, I'm in deeper now but I'm also older and wiser instead of young and naive when I told her. When I told my wife it was very early in our marriage, I'm still surprised she didn't leave me then. But her main objective was she always viewing it from the sidelines and wanted to see where it was going. She asked me if I would tell the person right away and hopefully this new person can keep a secret because she knows I don't want it out, or would I wait or not mention it at all and live with it in secret. She told me since the children temporary moved out I've been wearing pantyhose everyday, and have fully dressed at least three to four times a week to just relax. She said she sees how I look myself in the mirror when I'm dressed with happiness and a little grin of satisfaction and no more just pantyhose and slips, its now all or nothing. How do I feel about loosing this dressing almost whenever I want for now and taking a big step back deeper in the closet and living without it, that she believes would be hard on me now. She then put her elbows on the table and hands on her face and looked straight at me and ask me again "what would you do?.
I think I felt my heart beating faster and I told her I probably won't be interested at my age to get into another relationship and if somebody did come along I really never thought about it and I guess I would just wing it and see where it goes.
Im just wondering if anyone here did divorce and meet another person did you go about your situation differently then the first time or looking back would you have did something differently back then even with your situation now. I'm not going to lie I try not to think much about the future because things alway change specially at my age but to think about starting over I believe would be exhausting.

[Jenn A116]

I'd do it the exact same way I did ~30 years ago with my wife. I told her about my girl side when it really became serious. I didn't propose until several months later. We've been happily married ever since.

Does she wish Jennifer doesn't exist? Yes. But she understands that this is part of me and is willing to accept the whole being.

[Cheryl T]

If something happened to my wife I wouldn't have an issue. There would be no one else. I'm not interested in finding anyone else. I can be quite happy on my own, lonely for her, but I can go solo for the rest of my life if something happens.

[bridget thronton]

Today I think I would not remarry if my wife died.

[Michaela Jane]

My wife passed away 8 and a half yrs ago. I said then that I wasn't interested in another relationship and that still stands. I was 70 when she passed, now I am 78 and happy enough on my own.

[chelyann]

I would not remarry if my wife died. just some dating maybe

[docrobbysherry]

I divorced in my middle 50's, Maria. About the time I began CDing. However, our issues were about other things.:sad:

I began dating and spent the next 10+ years activily dating. Looking for a new partner. Even traveling to Ukraine and Russia to meet women. And, met a few wonderful women. But, I didn't want to marry again!:thumbsdn:|
Meanwhile, Sherry was increasingly becoming the center of my life.:battingeyelashes:

I was dating a woman locally and when we became intimate I wondered if she was the one? So, one evening after our date I told her I was a crossdresser. She sat there open mouthed forever! Finally, she asked, "Will this affect our relationship?":eek:

I never called or saw her again! After that I quit dating and Sherry's been my girl.:hugs:

[Stephanie47]

If my wife were to pass I would not even date, let alone get serious or marry. I truly believe there is only one spouse made for the other. Our courtship lasted six weeks (?) and married within three months and now hitting 54 years. I think, if I knew the extent of where I was headed with my desire/need to emulate a woman, and I told her in 1971, she would not have married me. There was immense societal pressure. Now? I think alternative lifestyle may be alright for most people, but NIMBY.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria :hugs:, My:love:Wife has know about my CDing for 61 years now and it now is a very Workable DA/DT,

At 82 now If I was alone I would stay that way till the End, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[kimdl93]

I told my second wife before we were engaged. But over the course of the ensuing decade I got more and more deeply involved, to the point that what she initially saw as a harmless quirk had grown into a near full time obsession. It was too much for her, and that was that.

[JulieC]

Maria, my story somewhat parallels yours. I too was really only into pantyhose when I met my wife. What's different; I told her a few months into our relationship. Some years after we married, I started venturing into trying other things, and I've been spinning down the rabbit hole ever since. I too prefer to be all dressed up, but will take what I can get when the opportunity arises. My wife remains supportive, though there was a time period ~15 years ago that we had a spat over it.

As I've told my wife, I'm never divorcing her (barring really, really bad things) because it would undermine who I am. She feels the same. We're in it 'til death. She will almost certainly outlive me. But, if she were to pass before I did, I can say with considerable certainty that I would not attempt to date again. There's one exception; a deeply close friend of mine whom I dated many years before I met my wife. We remain close, all with my wife's knowledge and support. I could imagine being with her again, and she feels very much the same. The reasons we broke up decades ago aren't applicable now. She knows about my crossdressing, but has never seen me dressed (outside of wearing pantyhose at her request once when we were dating). I've known for decades now that crossdressing is who I am. I'm not going to shove it back into the closet and try to hide it from someone. I respect those who are in DADT relationships; if it works for them, great. For me, it can't and I won't. So, if I started dating this lady again she would have to see me dressed early on. If she couldn't handle it, that'd be that and we'd remain friends.

It's known that men live longer if they are in a committed relationship. There's no such effect for women. But, trying to date, find a person with whom you really meld, informing them of the crossdressing, and trying to see if it works with that, and even if that does work then trying to figure out putting each other's lives together under one roof, and...and...and... It's a lot of effort. A lot. I think I'd stay single, and stay dressed 100% of the time, at least at home. Once my wife and I are empty nesters, I might be dressed 100% of the time at home. While we're not in a DADT, I am respectful of her wishes and if dressing 100% of the time were a problem, we'd work it out.

[CharlotteCD]

I would have no interest in restarting. I've met my soulmate, and I don't have any interest in trying to restart a life or try and find somebody who simply wouldn't compare to the woman I will always love.

[rachellegsep]

I have just been through this whole scenario (see my post The talk went better than expected ). A very good chance of wedding bells in the future.

[Shelly Preston]

If you lost you wife either through bereavement or divorce.

I would think dating again could be an option.

However they can be a lot of issues to consider.

Age, some me feel they are to old to make the effort to date.

What influence will family have on your decision.

As much as it may seem odd for some it could depend on how you meet. It could be someone who already knows. (strange as it may seem I heard of someone who married two sisters. The second after divorcing the first)

Fact can be stranger than fiction. Some relationships were started on this forum.

There is no easy answer to the question.

[SaraLin]

I honestly don't know what I'd do, and I'm not ready to find out.

I think that I'd really enjoy the freedom to be myself, and not have to live with (modified) DADT all the time. So - Maybe live out my days as Sara? :idontknow:

At the same time, I tend to be a nurturer. I'm wired to be caring for someone. "Alone" isn't my best place, and let's face it, finding someone to care for would be a lot easier if I were presenting as my male persona.

[Mercedes]

I told my wife when we started living together, about 18 months into the relationship, some 37 years ago. So should the unthinkable happen and I was alone I would eventually want to find another partner. I am sure my spouse would want that too. And I would also tell a new person earlier in the relationship, cause time isn’t gonna last forever and I would want to find someone supportive.

[alwayshave]

Maria, I was married and divorced. The divorce was unrelated to crossdressing and my ex-wife never knew. I told my now wife about 6 months into our relationship that I was a crossdresser. This was when we were talking about moving in together. She was accepting. Twenty-ish years later she is still very accepting. If anything was to now happen to my wife, I honestly would not look for another relationship. This does not mean I wouldn't look for a sexual outlet, but I could never have with someone else what I currently have with my wife.

[April Rose]

Marie, I was older than you when I lost my late wife after a loving 45 year relationship. I never even considered the idea of another relationship.

Now, 5 years after her passing, I am married to another woman. One who trims my wigs, does my makeup, and shares dresses with me enthusiastically.

So, never say never.

But the reassuring news for you is; you don't have to make that decision. Time and circumstance will make it for you.

[Lacey New]

I doubt if I would remarry.. I would be devastated if I lost my wife. I would not say that it would be impossible, but I would not be actively looking for another partner. It would have to be a matter of sheer luck.

[Glenda58]

In told my wife before we got married. For 15 years she knew but didn't want to see she would go away on weekends knowing I would be dress. And I loved her for that. She passed away last year. I will not look for a new relationship. I decided to embrace my transgender 9 months ago. I have been going everywhere as female.

[TheHiddenMe]

I'd bug Tricia Lee for all of her dating advice because she sure seems to know what she's doing!:)

[NancySue]

I mustered up enough courage to tell her before nuptials, expecting her to sprint to the nearest exit. She didn?t and accepted/supported me over the years. 🙏. If anything should happen, I might socialize but nothing permanent.

[MsEva]

For me, the only woman for me is my dear wife of 44 years. I don't want to date or meet anyone new. She is my soul mate and no one could replace her.

[Beano980]

Great question. I am currently divorced but not dating. I'm terrified that if I share this side of me with a new love interest they will be disgusted and bolt for the door. And yet, I know out of respect for her, I would have to spill the beans at some point early in the relationship. Ugg, what a mental mess I am. How can I expect a partner to accept this when sometimes I don't even accept this part of me?? Currently just kicking the can down the road I suppose. I'll confront this when it happens.

[Raychel]

I would absolutely tell any woman all about me, There is no more hiding for me.
The only woman I have interest in now, Speaks of me strictly as a friend
Total friendzone. And she know all about me.

So I would totally tell everything before any serious relationship were to start
But honestly at almost 66 years old, I don't see that in the future.

[CDMargret]

This one hurts. The thought of losing her... It would be one of the newspaper articles, "Husband passed moments after his wife's passing."

[TrishaLake]

I would b devastated if I lost my wife, I love her to death. I hid it for years for the same reasons as others, i could control it, its a fetish etc etc but about 12 years she found out and was hurt. We have since worked it out mostly and I go out allot. If she moved on I would date and not exclusively women. I would give all kinds of preferences a try. I would also be upfront about it.