"The Bystander Effect", or "Why you should go out during the day"

[Bridget]

I was reading through some of my old sociology stuff, and came upon the bystander effect, which is a documented social phenomenom. It states that, when there are more people around, people are less likely to intervene with a situation. Such as people in a heated dispute making a scene, or a fight. The less people around, the more likely a person is to intervene, but when there are more people around, people may look, but most people will not interact.

I was thinking about this in relation to crossdressing and going out, even if you don't pass. During the daytime, most people are out and about, and especially in shopping malls and other public places, it is very crowded. Although a person might get a few stares, even if they "do not pass", it seems, according to theory, unlikely that a person will stick out of the crowd to harass the person. Conversely at night, this makes the situation more dangerous, since few people are out at night.

However this could be a double-edged sword, because if someone does harass you, it's unlikely that anyone will intervene during the day...

Any thoughts?

[Yes I am]

Carry a gun or some other weapon in your purse, then you won't have to worry so much.

[Casey Morgan]

I don't think the "bystander effect" should be taken as you should go out during the day but not so much at night. I think it should be taken as you should go out where there are crowds. There are places nobody goes during the day, and places everybody goes at night.

As to the bystander effect being a double-edged sword, I don't think so. Not if you choose your places carefully. There should always be one person who will intervene: the person whose job it is to intervene. This could be a cop, a manager, a bouncer, or whatever.

[susann_gardener]

But you must remember that teen girls are the exception to the bystander effect.
Susann

[Yes I am]

If you act embarrassed when the teen girls or anyone else comments on you then they will only step-up their insulting, make eye contact with them and smile, make it clear that you aren't bothered by who you are or that they know it, even if you are dying on the inside. This will diffuse the situation like nothing else. If this tactic fails however, well, then you can just take the gun from your purse and fire off a few devastating retorts.

[Julie York]

If you act embarrassed when the teen girls or anyone else comments on you then they will only step-up their insulting, make eye contact with them and smile, make it clear that you aren't bothered by who you are.......And THEN shoot them.


lol

[Kaelin]

Physically:
I'm a fairly large guy; even in a skirt (bear in mind I'm rather obviously a man even when dressed) I'm not someone people generally ponder messing with. That said, I also believe that we should not live in fear of the potential actions of others. If I am to be shot for being a man in a skirt, then I will be shot with the pride of knowing I did not limit my self actualization with fear. If that bullet is to kill me, then I know given the nature of media my death will bring attention to the widespread ignorance on the issue, which will ultimately make it better for future crossdressers.


Emotionally:
The threat of other's comments bothered me when I first started to come out. Then when I finally did a crowded place rather than a near empty street it kind of hit me: once you accept that you're not doing anything wrong, and are fully within your rights, nothing they say can hurt you, their comments merely display their ignorance to the rest of the world. This internal acceptance will in turn will make you look much more confident which as others have pointed out will result in less negative comments to begin with.

To ingrain this in my mind the first few times I did crowded places I had to have a continuous conversation with myself in my head about how crossdressing was well within my rights, how the thoughts of others did not matter overly, etc etc. In addition to reassuring me, these internal conversations also distracted me while walking such that by the time the conversation had finished so had the walking, it was simply done with. After I had encountered a certain number of people I simply didnt think about it anymore, it felt like everyone had seen me anyway.





Publically I'll get the following reactions:


<1% will express a lewd comment directly to me, or when they think I'm out of ear shot.

Roughly %5 of the population giving me an obvious look of disgrace.

Roughly %20 will give a second look and proceed on without any obvious impression of either approval or disapproval.

Roughly %5 will smile slightly for whatever reason.

Everyone else simply ignores and doesn't seem to care about it unless I more directly interact with them (for example a shop keeper) in which case the general result seems to be an uncomfortable confusion.


----------------

I reread the inital post and realized I got a bit off topic, hopefully not too far...

In an attempt to return to it:

Day or night, being out in public at all helps. If nothing else, closeted crossdressers may see you in your courage, and likewise work up the will to be free. If by being myself I have helped better the life of even one man or woman in this way, then I deem it well worth the associated risks.

[Julie Avery]

If sociologists ever come to an agreement about what "scientific method" means in the context of their discipline, I'll begin to take them seriously.

[DawnLabelle]

Carry a gun or some other weapon in your purse, then you won't have to worry so much.

I can see the headlines now, "Psychotic Crossdresser Pulls a Gun at Local Mall", great way to get us accepted ;o).

Dawn

[Anahis]

I can see the headlines now, "Psychotic Crossdresser Pulls a Gun at Local Mall", great way to get us accepted ;o).

Dawn

Hahahaha, that would be tragic but funny.

[Theresa9]

I am in the closet except for Halloween. I could never pass because I usually have a beard, always have a moustache and sideburns and don't wear makeup or wig. I'm also 6' 1" and 230 lbs. I just like the clothes, heels, lingerie, nail polish and pearls.

I would like to go out dressed in dress and heels but I think of the movie Boys Don't Cry the one with Hillary Swank. She was shot and killed because she was trying to pass as a male. My friend was shot at (not hit) in his front yard when he was CD'd. I live in Washington state that is mostly liberal, but there are rednecks everywhere.

I think Kaelin has the right idea to carry a gun or weapon in your purse, but more importantly we have an inalienable right to wear whatever clothes we want. We are not doing anything wrong or breaking any laws.

Everyone that goes out CD in public is so very brave and I wish I could lose my fears and do the same thing.

I used to say to my ex GF that I was going to work in a skirt or dress and she would say "good for you" but I never did.

[MsJanessa]

But you must remember that teen girls are the exception to the bystander effect.
Susann
Never had a problem with teen age girls---was leaving a hotel once on an elevator that stopped and let two girls---14--13 or so on and went down 10 floors to the lobbey----was dressed and made up to the nines--leather skirt, blazer, red satin blouse, high heeled boots, tight fitting black leather gloves---they didnt even blink an eye---just kept talking to themselves about something that did not concern Me. Teenage boys however can be another matter.